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gush your happiness
posted in Off Topic
121
#121
48 Frags +

My mom died of braintumor 2 weeks ago at an age of 50.

The last year has been literall hell. From the day we knew she had the tumor to now (about 13 months), There was nothing but bad news.

But we couldnt have wished for a better end knowing that the cancer was not curable.
She got to say farewell just in time (before her memory was completely gone) to us, her parents, family and friends. She died a week later during the night. I was sleeping in the same room to keep an eye on her. I was terrified of what was going to happen, as my mom could die any second now (her body didnt accept food nor pills nor water so the energy was going away fast). I followed the rythm of her breathing for hours untill it suddenly stopped without much announcement.

Last week it was also a beautifully arranged funeral with lots of friends and family to say a last goodbye.

So as sad as it is, The end was very heart warming wich makes the processing now easier for me, my dad, my sister and brother.

My mom died of braintumor 2 weeks ago at an age of 50.

The last year has been literall hell. From the day we knew she had the tumor to now (about 13 months), There was nothing but bad news.

But we couldnt have wished for a better end knowing that the cancer was not curable.
She got to say farewell just in time (before her memory was completely gone) to us, her parents, family and friends. She died a week later during the night. I was sleeping in the same room to keep an eye on her. I was terrified of what was going to happen, as my mom could die any second now (her body didnt accept food nor pills nor water so the energy was going away fast). I followed the rythm of her breathing for hours untill it suddenly stopped without much announcement.

Last week it was also a beautifully arranged funeral with lots of friends and family to say a last goodbye.

So as sad as it is, The end was very heart warming wich makes the processing now easier for me, my dad, my sister and brother.
122
#122
2 Frags +
Screwballi found kittens in my garage :3

you can't just say this and not provide a picture!

I'm going to spend next week going to lan and hanging out with my friends :D

[quote=Screwball]i found kittens in my garage :3[/quote]
you can't just say this and not provide a picture!


I'm going to spend next week going to lan and hanging out with my friends :D
123
#123
14 Frags +

I streamed until almost 7 AM and spent the last hour just talking to people in my stream. For the first time in a long time I’m going to bed somewhat close to happy. I know I have a super long way to go in terms of getting back to the person I know I can be mentally and emotionally, but it was a good reminder that there are people who care and actually enjoy my presence. Feels good man

I streamed until almost 7 AM and spent the last hour just talking to people in my stream. For the first time in a long time I’m going to bed somewhat close to happy. I know I have a super long way to go in terms of getting back to the person I know I can be mentally and emotionally, but it was a good reminder that there are people who care and actually enjoy my presence. Feels good man
124
#124
5 Frags +

I’m playing hockey again starting this September :)

I’m playing hockey again starting this September :)
125
#125
32 Frags +

Today I was at the pet store and they have a big tortoise who wanders around and and he walked up to me and I petted him and he was happy. That made me happy. I got to pet a BIG TORTOISE. :)

Edit: It was one of these guys.

https://zoomed.com/wp-content/uploads/Sulcata-Tortoise.jpg

Today I was at the pet store and they have a big tortoise who wanders around and and he walked up to me and I petted him and he was happy. That made me happy. I got to pet a BIG TORTOISE. :)

Edit: It was one of these guys.

[img]https://zoomed.com/wp-content/uploads/Sulcata-Tortoise.jpg[/img]
126
#126
24 Frags +

I'm down 56 pounds over the last four months after going carnivore (I had an ankle problem which kept me from exercising; even on a low-carb diet I gain weight slowly without exercise, so I decided to go to zero carbs). I was 352 just over a year ago; am at 254 now. We'll see what the future holds, whether I'll consume carbs again or not. I feel terrific, though there are at least another 30-some pounds to drop. My sleep has improved; my mood is far more positive; my rate of reading has more than doubled compared to the rest of the year (which is bonkers, considering that I had the summer off as a teacher and my carnivore diet coincided not only with my teaching duties, but with my time spent coaching football). I'm thrilled with the results so far.

I'm going to see my youngest bother for dinner tomorrow night before he gets deployed in two more weeks. We'll have a good time together.

Life's going pretty well, all things considered.

c]:- )

I'm down 56 pounds over the last four months after going carnivore (I had an ankle problem which kept me from exercising; even on a low-carb diet I gain weight slowly without exercise, so I decided to go to zero carbs). I was 352 just over a year ago; am at 254 now. We'll see what the future holds, whether I'll consume carbs again or not. I feel terrific, though there are at least another 30-some pounds to drop. My sleep has improved; my mood is far more positive; my rate of reading has more than doubled compared to the rest of the year (which is bonkers, considering that I had the summer off as a teacher and my carnivore diet coincided not only with my teaching duties, but with my time spent coaching football). I'm thrilled with the results so far.

I'm going to see my youngest bother for dinner tomorrow night before he gets deployed in two more weeks. We'll have a good time together.

Life's going pretty well, all things considered.

c]:- )
127
#127
5 Frags +

screwball i still need those photos

screwball i still need those photos
128
#128
12 Frags +

after getting kicked out my band the night before a show almost 2 years ago, im finally going to be playing our first show with my new band squirrel girl tomorrow night ^_^

after getting kicked out my band the night before a show almost 2 years ago, im finally going to be playing our first show with my new band squirrel girl tomorrow night ^_^
129
#129
25 Frags +

I had surgery and very likely don’t have the testicular cancer that was suspected previously, also got to try fentanyl for free lol

I had surgery and very likely don’t have the testicular cancer that was suspected previously, also got to try fentanyl for free lol
130
#130
15 Frags +

Its is my birthday;3

Its is my birthday;3
131
#131
4 Frags +

happy because i have a new schedule which actually gave me 6 hours and 15 minutes more freedom from school. also happy that i'm having fun playing cs:go as an IGL more often.

happy because i have a new schedule which actually gave me 6 hours and 15 minutes more freedom from school. also happy that i'm having fun playing cs:go as an IGL more often.
132
#132
7 Frags +

I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO FAIL THIS CLASS BUT I GOT A B- IN IT I FEEL ALIVE

I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO FAIL THIS CLASS BUT I GOT A B- IN IT I FEEL ALIVE
133
#133
6 Frags +

My company does Christmas Pay so I get double my usual wage tomorrow!

My company does Christmas Pay so I get double my usual wage tomorrow!
134
#134
2 Frags +

didnt lose to brighton

didnt lose to brighton
135
#135
16 Frags +

My W's of 2021:
1) have gone through about a year of therapy, am now less depressed and off meds
2) not perfect grades but i accept that and will succeed in spite of that
3) moving in with friend, leaving toxic household i was in before
4) on main team with 2 of my friends after a half-year break (epic style)

My W's of 2021:
1) have gone through about a year of therapy, am now less depressed and off meds
2) not perfect grades but i accept that and will succeed in spite of that
3) moving in with friend, leaving toxic household i was in before
4) on main team with 2 of my friends after a half-year break (epic style)
136
#136
0 Frags +
warriordragon12the mariners are 37-22 and havent been in first place this late into the season since 2003

im a really big mariners fan so im really really happy about it and one of my dreams is to go to a playoff game at safeco field

haha jesus christ. so sad. i'm sorry for laughing but this made my day

[quote=warriordragon12]the mariners are 37-22 and havent been in first place this late into the season since 2003

im a really big mariners fan so im really really happy about it and one of my dreams is to go to a playoff game at safeco field[/quote]
haha jesus christ. so sad. i'm sorry for laughing but this made my day
137
#137
3 Frags +

these days I feel at last more liberated from very damaging things to my future and mental state as a result of very difficult somewhat still ongoing decisions from this past year, and am ready to take on what I have to do with better understanding of who I am and who I want to be :)

these days I feel at last more liberated from very damaging things to my future and mental state as a result of very difficult somewhat still ongoing decisions from this past year, and am ready to take on what I have to do with better understanding of who I am and who I want to be :)
138
#138
11 Frags +

when i stopped playing competitive TF2 around a year ago, everything initially just crumbled. i wasn't in the best state when it came to my identity, i lost most contacts around the same time, i had manic/depressive episodes, my college course was fucked, i couldn't keep my job so i couldn't rectify my college or my dorm room so i had to move back in with my parents.

got some professional help in the meantime, and while i'm still not completely sorted out, i at least know who i am personally now. got ADs prescribed which started kicking in about a week ago (took way too long to get them because i don't have balls), so i'm not constantly dragging my mind through the darkness anymore and i got accepted for a traineeship so i can actually continue my study while having a job at the same time.

however, the one thing that really got me sorting myself out is getting in a relation. i've been in absolutely horrible ones before, and this one when we started, everything just stayed the same except we have each other now. i can't really describe it, with other relations sure i felt attracted but the emotional happiness i get from being with her is just inexplicable. we've been together for nearly 10 months now, and it's just been such a positive influence on my life.

oh yeah i also went down from 105 to 90 kilos in about 2,5 months which is absolutely wonderful. still not my goal of 80 but with this speed i'll be there in another 2 months

when i stopped playing competitive TF2 around a year ago, everything initially just crumbled. i wasn't in the best state when it came to my identity, i lost most contacts around the same time, i had manic/depressive episodes, my college course was [i]fucked[/i], i couldn't keep my job so i couldn't rectify my college or my dorm room so i had to move back in with my parents.

got some professional help in the meantime, and while i'm still not completely sorted out, i at least know who i am personally now. got ADs prescribed which started kicking in about a week ago (took way too long to get them because i don't have balls), so i'm not constantly dragging my mind through the darkness anymore and i got accepted for a traineeship so i can actually continue my study while having a job at the same time.

however, the one thing that really got me sorting myself out is getting in a relation. i've been in absolutely horrible ones before, and this one when we started, everything just stayed the same except we have each other now. i can't really describe it, with other relations sure i felt attracted but the emotional happiness i get from being with her is just inexplicable. we've been together for nearly 10 months now, and it's just been such a positive influence on my life.

oh yeah i also went down from 105 to 90 kilos in about 2,5 months which is absolutely wonderful. still not my goal of 80 but with this speed i'll be there in another 2 months
139
#139
0 Frags +

beaten footsies: rollback edition arcade mode today. also got on a season 5 newcomer 6v6 team a few days ago. will update you guys with new posts every once in a while.

beaten footsies: rollback edition arcade mode today. also got on a season 5 newcomer 6v6 team a few days ago. will update you guys with new posts every once in a while.
140
#140
newbie.tf
28 Frags +
KevinIsPwnI love spending time with my boyfriend to a degree I haven't really felt with anyone else, and that makes me super super happy!!

Also this thread makes my heart so happy, please keep sharing stuff y'all

we're getting married :)

[quote=KevinIsPwn]I love spending time with my boyfriend to a degree I haven't really felt with anyone else, and that makes me super super happy!!

Also this thread makes my heart so happy, please keep sharing stuff y'all[/quote]
we're getting married :)
141
#141
2 Frags +

Everyone who likes this thread would get a kick out of the concept of a "gratitude rock." A rock that you keep in your pocket, and every time you touch it, you think of something you're thankful for. Maybe we could carry happy rocks.

Everyone who likes this thread would get a kick out of the concept of a "gratitude rock." A rock that you keep in your pocket, and every time you touch it, you think of something you're thankful for. Maybe we could carry happy rocks.
142
#142
-3 Frags +

does it have to be a rock?

does it have to be a rock?
143
#143
-1 Frags +
eeedoes it have to be a rock?

I don't see why. if you instead have a rubber duck in your pocket that reminds you of good times then that's just as useful.

[quote=eee]does it have to be a rock?[/quote]

I don't see why. if you instead have a rubber duck in your pocket that reminds you of good times then that's just as useful.
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