when I was a team captain in open I would schedule late because I had to go to class and when I couldn't find people I would give other team leads a key to bait their scrims and scrim me instead

I scammed / sharked unusuals from new players back in 2013-2015

in like 2014 i found a guy with a homebrew trade bot that could be fucked with a bit to just give me all of its inventory for free
i stole like 9 keys worth before i felt bad and then when the owner of the bot added me i talked to him for like 5 mins and then blocked him out of shame :(

i said "its free" full well knowing my combo would get raped at choke so id get a med pick

i played on a team with jaguarfiend (before #thatvideo dropped but still)

play with prograde's team at rgb 5

I speedhacked as heavy and got banned from the no heroes server network In 2009

stole fans items and would keep hold of them to play with for a week before giving back in like 2021

i did too after the video but i didnt know it existed and then someone showed me and i tried to explain to him why thats not a good look and he doubled down

I'm out of the loop, what's the video? There was a guy called Jaguar that used to coach my amateur team and I'm confused if it's the same guy

I regret to inform my fans that, while my discord profile pic is very handsome, this is not actually me, as much as i may claim that it is ( https://i.imgur.com/BoDOdJc.png )

I played with alts and helped them smurf

unplugged my ethernet cable in pregame and told my team the power went out. (i wanted to sleep)
also i once accepted a key from antlers to bait one of my scrims.

messaged some guy i didn't like to play a scrim knowing full well i didn't have a team and had no intention to play, sent him a connect and everything. when he messaged me wondering when we were coming i just blocked him

I lie about my damage numbers so my team pushes and to hide the fact that I'm not good at the game.

i cheated to get 95% accuracy

i got my teammate (roster rider/manager) to organise scrims against our opponents for that weeks official posing as another team only to bait them last minute so they wouldnt get to practice against us

When I see 11/12 in the mix queue whilst I am on the train home from work I join the queue channel on my phone to make them think they have their 12th gamer. But I just say "sorry I am just here to announce that I can't mix" and then I leave/get kicked.

think there were worse sins you could have confessed to

when I was on a 6s team with Br0nze he gave me FTP access to his server to host tf2lobbies

like a year later I had a highlander match on gravelpit against bpm who used the same server, so I used the FTP access to watch their scrim demo and figure out exactly where they held B and antistratted them

we capped all 3 points in like 2:18

1. forgot which lan it was but a friend was thirsty so instead of paying for drinks, he snuck into the back of the venue and stole a bunch of gatorades. I watched the door.

2. main happenings thread

Told Pumpkin I was ready to sack on metal last when he sapped the gun on spy

Needless to say I did not sack and just sat there :^)

i deleted my gibus

This is why I always had respect for you, old friend

I don't remember the last time I had my actual alias on steam

i was really drunk and equipped the mantreads on endif and just watched a 1500 elo player try to bounce me up in to the air for like 20 minutes straight. didnt even shoot at him just ran around and made it hard for him to hit me. my throat hurt from laughing and i still think about it sometiems.