From ritz of team Whiplash
Q. Any predictions on how you think you’re going to do this season?
A. Last place is the only option.

Q. Who do you think will give you the toughest match?
A. TC 'cause I'm afraid of them since last season (both of our teams were playing mid). We played like 50 rounds of ashville before our official and we still lost by a golden cup. So never underestimate TC. N E V E R

Q. Who do you think will be your standout player this season?
A. Twatter for sure 'cause he's Mongolian and he's playing huntsman sniper. Hunting and archery are in their blood, so he is a natural born killer

Q. Of the three new maps added (Govan, Gullywash, Borneo) which are you most excited to play?
A. Govan 'cause it's creator is a living genius and we all blessed by living with him at the same time.

Q. Any shoutouts?
A. No i'm an orphan

I had the exxxclusive opportunity to interview 3 of the team leaders from ETF2L's second highest division. All of these teams will be looking to take this season by the horns and establish themselves in premiership next season. Here's what they had to say:
ducky (Team Colonslash: the SPY!!!1!)
kaylus (Wicked Lotus)
kristof (Habib's Special Forces)

Q. Any predictions on how you think you’re going to do this season?
ducky A. top 3
kaylus A. We are expecting Top3. Aiming to win the Division.
kristof A. top 2

Q. Who do you think will give you the toughest match?
ducky A. trouble shooters
kaylus A. Right now I would expect Trouble Shooters.
kristof A. wicked lotus

Q. Who do you think will be your standout player this season?
ducky A. whip
kaylus A. Very hard to predict here. Maybe tenshi or Divi.
kristof A. fidus

Q. Of the three new maps added (Govan, Gullywash, Borneo) which are you most excited to play?
ducky A. govan
kaylus A. I'm glad to see a 5CP back into the mappool. Gullywash but any would have been nice. I find Govan very promising (congratz on that) but I fear it will be yet another KOTH maps and we got plenty of those already unfortunately.
kristof A. govan

Q. Any shoutouts?
ducky A. hankie pankie
kristof A. shotouts to W team and bob

in casual i usually get some good chain stabs on the payload cart (since ive been watching how a spy thinks by mrpaladin) so i knew i would not have any troubles getting some kills in competitive. i was not sure how to play so i tried the competitive mode first but it was wayyy to easy for a pro like me so i started looking on the steam community forums and i found some guy talking about a website called tf2center.com. i went to try it out and darn it was hard. i guess this is like where all the top tf2 pros play at because they were getting so many eliminations on me. i really struggled to keep up so i hope i didnt let my team-mates down. in the end i had 10 points playing as the spy. which i think is pretty good for my first go at the real competitive mode. we were also playing some weird map i have never seen before. usually on viaduct i like to sit in the corner next to the point and sap all the sentry guns but for some reason there was a doorway there instead?? not sure if my game got hacked or something so im gonna contact steam support to investigate it.

ok so i dont even know where to start with this one, apparently during prem scrims last night mclane got banned AGAIN because an etf2l admin joined the server to “monitor behaviour” (whatever that means) and the second he joined everyone lagged, mclane missed a pipe, and instantly typed “nice lag, pipe magnet” in chat. admin instantly kicked him and now there’s a thread about “respecting authority” like bro it’s tf2 not the UN summit. mclane made a post after saying “i wasn’t toxic i was simply describing physics” which honestly might be the hardest quote of the year. etf2l issued some passive aggressive discord announcement like “admins are volunteers” and half the community is acting like he committed a war crime while the other half is making free mclane memes. apparently his team is trying to merc someone but he’s already on a smurf called “maclane420” dropping 400 dpm in open pugs. b4nny tweeted “he should control his emotions” and got ratioed in 4 minutes. someone said they’re making FREE MCLANE shirts for insomnia but knowing this scene they’ll forget by tomorrow when another soldier calls his medic a bot mid-fight.

why dont u just alt on the pug servers it seems u dont have an issue with that in officials

Hello fans of Team Colonslash. We are once again seeking funding for our upcoming highlander season.

After previous success in Season 34 with a Mid Division Championship, we are looking to expand our operations upward. Firstly with an academy team, Team Colonslash: Nappies, which will be competing in the open division. This will be led by up and comer medic, Guffeh, alongside mid champion engineer, celreo. Our main team, the SPY, shall be competing in the high division, looking to cement themselves as one of Europe's finest and the best British team in all the world.

We are mainly looking to fund a cameo from Nigel Farage after he expressed his support of our mid win last season (see pic below). We are additionally looking for additional uniformications for our new players this season. We are therefore setting aside a goal of £100 Great British Pounds, sterling.

As per before there shall be prizes, including:
One (1) item signing by a Team Colonslash: the SPY!!!!1!™ member of your choosing.
A Free pyro or engineer demo-review by the Mclane of Team Colonslash: the SPY!!!!1!™
An MGE match-up against a Team Colonslash: the SPY!!!!1!™ member.
A ticket for a raffle to enter a competition in which the winner will be able to partake in a scrim for Team Colonslash: the SPY!!!!1!™

Donations Option

Can be either direct items or other items that we could sell to go towards the cosmetic uniformations.
https://steamcommunity.com/tradeoffer/new/?partner=437613693&token=cAF4Fx_0

https://i.ibb.co/Fbw7QbHy/image.png

Thank you to all our fans for their support last season, and those who will stick with us for our upcoming challenges. The intercontinental LAN in Colchester is still in the works. We have been in contact with Colchester United FC to use their changing rooms as our base of operations. With PC rentals coming from the sainsburys down the road.

After much request, I have decided to release official koth_govan callouts. Ultimately though, it is up to teams to decide what to call things and if people come up with better ones then so be it.

https://i.postimg.cc/fTqzdZBq/govancallouts.jpg

koth_govan_rc1 update

Thanks to the NA Invite map testing pug group, ozfortress for using the map in a highlander cup and to ETF2L for including the map in their upcoming All Fun Autumn 2025 Season. Most changes in response to feedback from the ozfortress cup, feedback from the offseason and things I had implemented but weren't big enough to justify a new release.

General

• Added new spectator cameras
  
• Minor optimisation improvements

Mid

• Fixed clipping issues on the buildings around the upper area
  
• Made mid bigger (again) - about 70hu each way
  
• Added nipple to mid
  
• Lowered most of the upper area to the same height as rest of mid
  
• Flipped the stairs on upper area to be flush with the holding side
  
• Added archway walls around former upper area
  
• Removed small ammo pack on mid
  
• Moved medium ammo pack on mid to archway wall
  
• Added doorway to connector building near archway area
  
• Added prop jump to upper area from the point
  
• Added chicken wire fence to upper area
  
• Adjusted detailing on buildings and alleyways surrounding the previous upper area
  
• Added Team Colonslash Decals to mid
  
• Added light to archway area

Staging Area

• Added prop jump to roof outside connector building on the left side (Thanks to Emiel)
  
• Adjusted lighting in connecter building
  
• Fixed wrong texture on balcony

Spawn

• Moved left spawn exit forward aligned with the opposite
  
• Adjusted the shape of the spawn building
  
• Moved respawn cabinet forward
  
• Adjusted some detailing in the spawn room
  
• Removed some exterior detailing
  
• Removed tree

I answered this in the context of a 1v1, it matters then. Otherwise I guess if your demo has no stickies you should probably wait for him to reload before u push. idk i am noob d2 player.

NGL hearts have had a really strong start to the season. derek mcinnes has been outstanding and they have got some incredible results so far. I dont think this is controversial to say but celtic will still win the league just because over long term the squad depth is so much better and they can rotate the team way easier. but with rangers having an actually tragic season so far, with even gerrard negotiations falling through, could we see a 2nd place for hearts?

https://youtu.be/e2yBe2H5Y0g?si=QB-22OTvMB41fLfo
2:39

ill make a new thread for this but ALSO
ETF2L Season 34 Mid Awards Show @ Friday 21
https://www.twitch.tv/rentontf
tune in

hi i know u have all been waiting for this one

Champions
Premiership: 3AM
High: nine seals
Mid: Team Colonslash: the SPY!!!1!
Low: Maggiezza Masters
Open: Generic Gamers 9

playoffs dramas (theres a lot):

Premiership
un4given & broken where banned for failing to provide demos in their semi final match vs 3AM, meaning they had to play with subs in the 3rd place decider vs Feila. They still won tho like a boss.
I'll be honest I still dont really understand what happened in finals because I tuned in last minute. SO everything I say could just be major waffle but maybe i am right? who knows! basically, 4house (chad cheater team, defending champions) played vs 3am (virgin clark team, premiership challengers). 3am managed to get a golden cap win on ashville, 4-3, very close match probably! i didnt watch it tho. then on vigil, 4house managed a golden cap win getting the deciding round. Which meant it all came down to steel, THE highlander map. Not really sure, think some shit happened with people lagging on the server, so 4house? requested to change server, however a round had already been played so they delayed for like half an hour or something speaking to admins. They end up continuing with that round having counted. Then the server got ddossed? i think or the players, im not sure. Dunno what happened from that. Then on the final round... clark pulled out the etf2l rule book for which team 3am gets to start on, as they had the faster cap time on attack. Keep in mind its like 1am at this point. Anyway long story short, clark & 3am won that final round meaning they took home the prem title vs mega virgin cheaters. Respect to 3am and them man. Respect to 0mger for donating to TC tho, unlucky mate.

High
dunno of any drama. sandburn team rolled in finals well played.

Mid
BIG DRAMA COMING.
So first off, the admins where really unsure of who had the higher seed, so initally TC (2nd place seed) went straight to semifinals. However like a couple hours later temmie DM'd me and said we were not 2nd place seed because SBQRRA won against a LOW team in week1. Yes a team that was in mid got moved to low and this is why we got cucked from 2nd seed. Incredible.
Both quarterfinals weren't that dramatic. I guess the seeding is quite funny Since the path to finals for either Nuke Radio or Gibus is playing vs 2 of the best teams, whereas for TC it was playing vs noobs and more noobs.
mk played quarterfinals thinking it was a scrim, his first time playing scout in highlander in a mid quarterfinals.
Semifinals is where the drama really gets going. I'll start with TC vs SBQRRA. We messaged the dickhead team leader mob on the 15th asking about scheduling. The donny literally just kept postponing the scheduling and pickbans until the default date schedule deadling, the 22nd, which was set to the 23rd. Which was really shit for us. TC still managed to win tho because we are simply just better and we had a prem sniper mainclassing maybe not important tho. I manged to have more chat messages sent than frags across all maps, LOL epic haha fuck those guys.
In Gibus v Habibs Special Forces, D D agreed with kristof to play on Thursday, kristof even said on the matchpage that they would play on thursday. However he then went to the admins and told them he couldn't play Thursday! What the flipping heck man. Luckily, Gibus had the Italian ambassador on their team Cinny who managed to speak with mata on Habibs to get Thursday played. Still shit though, had to play with mercs, chocolate offclassing to demo AND they played vs an active prem player on merc. Unlucky Gibus!
Then grandfinals, crazy matchup. TC where massive underdogs, nobody even expected TC to get playoffs. And if they did they thought surely they get knocked out in the first round. Nope! The series went to all 3 maps, with a close 4-2 Win for Habibs on ashville, a 2-0 Steam roll on upward for TC... and vigil, a golden cap win for TC to clinch the title. Key moments in the final: ducky getting med drops on vigil and upward to keep the game going. Honeybee getting multiple 5ks across the series as a pyro. Toco getting loads of frags at the very end of vigil. ME ME ME using celreo's teleporter to flank back to 1st on a last hold to kill the medic 3 times in a row. In the end, TC won with a very very close win. Everything was streamed at deere7 for TC pov, kristof's twitch for Habibs pov (now deleted LOLOLOL) and korratf for a cast.

thats all the divs that matter
for divs below that i think a couple people got banned during playoffs which really fucked some teams idk the stories tho please enlighten me
thanks for reading

there was mge seasons in eu, idk about jump fortress tho. i hope one of these groups or maybe some outsiders can do it. rly just need a prize pool for it that’s bigger than etf2l prem 1st place and instantly u incentivise the top teams to play it cuz the alternative is practicing rotation maps to win prem.

hi can anyone who has lots of money and free time do one of these. ideally in europe.
there was like thousands of money tournaments for mge, jump and prop hunt or whatever other shit can u do it for map testing cuz that would be really good. main issue with the rgl ones is none of the good teams sign up cuz there’s like no benefit for top teams to play them + most of the maps won’t even be fun to play on.

thanks this is my request mr zuckerberg.