Oh my fuckinh god its here isnt it
I havent done one of these in ages but im bored shitless and this match has got me so FUCKING EXCITED im typing this on my phone on my parents couch.
Lets break this down.
Eemes has consistently proven himself to be the biggest brain in the universe (he likes chess i think) and has easily placed himself in the premiership finals after (allegedly) removing 2/3 teams in the top 3 that he couldnt beat to make space for himself. His intellect unrivaled, he commands a squad of true legends in battle and has easily disapched of everyone in prem besides ascent, the only team in prem worthy of being considered a team that is more than mediocre. Yeehaw has finally graduated from playing dm for at least 4 hours a day and still being bottom prem, to playing dm for at least 3 hours a day and being a decent prem player, not letting the words of an angry finnish div 2 player get to him, he stands resolute in front of the comming challenges. His partner in crime, nevo, is still pretty good i guess and he goes spy sometimes too i guess.
Shock, an injured russian medic main left in the dirt by his mid team, has been lifted from poverty and turned into royalty overnight. In front of him stands the possibility of walking the royal road and crowning himself a true king of tf2, by winning prem in his first season, simply due to the fact that hes the only person in the world who is willing to actually play medic in pugs.
Eemes has truly assembled a team that really looks a bit mediocre on paper. With a soldier lineup that is the tf2 equivalent of ready salted crisps, but thanks to their debut season being the post i series season, they just found themselves being medium fish in a small pond.
But in front of all of ora stands the toughest opponent of them all, Iatgink.
This guys so fucking good and all he does it throw his mouse aroudn and scream like s degenerate when he inexplically managed to roll the dice perfectly 5 times in a row. He is the luckiest man alive.
The sucess of ascent could be due to the fact that the other two best teams in europe strangely vanished seemingly overnight, or due to the fact that maybe theyre actually just good? Not sure tho cause papi (big fan of his style) more dota than tf2 and hes still been the best pocket this season (imo best player aswell) so really prems just a bit shit now.
Toemas, once thought to be a newcommer, has truly cemented himself as the new generation of scout that nobody likes playing against. For such a young age, it is remarkable to see him perform well against the greatest minds in the game. I wish him luck with his gcses.
Toemas isnt alone on the fabeled scout class however, klassy (winner of the honourary brit of 2019 award) is also here and apparently hes here to stay. Klassy has spent the past season in a competition with eemes to see who can give copper the most captain bans, so expect the tension between the two hammers to be extreme.
Lukas and seeds round out the combo, with both of them missing out on a few weeks of action. Will this really matter? Dont think so.
The only truly redeeming factor for ascent has to be their coaching staff. Ma3la doesnt fuck around when it comes to picking out the top brains out there to help strengthen his team, and condog himself seems to finally have found a way to win etf2l by covering up all his weaknesses (his own play). Sadly he hasnt been all thst visible throughout this season, i wish hed just stand up a bit so we would be able to locate his work.
Will ora listen to eemes for once? Will the ascent curse of never winning anything ever still hold up? Will seeds die?