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getting angry at myself
1
#1
0 Frags +

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2
#2
-9 Frags +

Step 1:
Remind yourself how ridiculous it is to get mad over a 13 year old cartoon video game with a playerbase mostly made up of 14 year old 3rd world furries and weebs

There's no step 2

Step 1:
Remind yourself how ridiculous it is to get mad over a 13 year old cartoon video game with a playerbase mostly made up of 14 year old 3rd world furries and weebs

There's no step 2
3
#3
13 Frags +

sounds like this game is the only thing you do so maybe find something else to do cause u care way tooooo much

sounds like this game is the only thing you do so maybe find something else to do cause u care way tooooo much
4
#4
-25 Frags +

That's funny OP because i have a VERY BIG desire to improve and succeed. i want to be able to say "i'm good at tf2" and be able to actually mean it without it being the second stage of the dunning-kruger effect. especially with the class i play the most right now, soldier. but there's one thing i believe that's holding me back mentally: i get too frustrated with myself when i don't succeed at something. whether it be i lose an MGE match, being unable to do a jump or hell, even losing a pub makes me more angrier and angrier at myself. i don't think clearly and it affects both my play and my learning, and it just piles up in a shitshow of anger and worthlessness. people try and give me advice but i get too angry to ever listen to it. and i don't want to quit just yet, i want to prove myself to be one of the best. but i don't know what to do about this. i have been considering switching to demoman, but i'm not 100% through with that idea yet.

what can i do to stop myself from getting like this?

That's funny OP because i have a VERY BIG desire to improve and succeed. i want to be able to say "i'm good at tf2" and be able to actually mean it without it being the second stage of the dunning-kruger effect. especially with the class i play the most right now, soldier. but there's one thing i believe that's holding me back mentally: i get too frustrated with myself when i don't succeed at something. whether it be i lose an MGE match, being unable to do a jump or hell, even losing a pub makes me more angrier and angrier at myself. i don't think clearly and it affects both my play and my learning, and it just piles up in a shitshow of anger and worthlessness. people try and give me advice but i get too angry to ever listen to it. and i don't want to quit just yet, i want to prove myself to be one of the best. but i don't know what to do about this. i have been considering switching to demoman, but i'm not 100% through with that idea yet.

what can i do to stop myself from getting like this?
5
#5
16 Frags +

Hey man, just know you're not alone in this. We're all really passionate about something, and sometimes that leads to us getting frustrated if it's not going our way. It's normal, and a stepping stone to being able to process your frustration better.

What I noticed with myself is that I expected WAY too much of myself in a super short period of time. I expected to excel within days when something like that could take some years to accomplish. But as cliché as it is: Rome wasn't built in a day. And you won't be able to become a pro soldier in a day either. But every day you practice is another day closer to that goal.

Next time you get frustrated, take a breather, move away from your computer for a minute and just walk it off. Definitely give other classes a go too. Not only because it's something fresh and new for a chance, but it'll also give you more insight into the game so you will in fact become a pro some day.

Also don't main medic. Worst choice of my life.

Hey man, just know you're not alone in this. We're all really passionate about something, and sometimes that leads to us getting frustrated if it's not going our way. It's normal, and a stepping stone to being able to process your frustration better.

What I noticed with myself is that I expected WAY too much of myself in a super short period of time. I expected to excel within days when something like that could take some years to accomplish. But as cliché as it is: Rome wasn't built in a day. And you won't be able to become a pro soldier in a day either. But every day you practice is another day closer to that goal.

Next time you get frustrated, take a breather, move away from your computer for a minute and just walk it off. Definitely give other classes a go too. Not only because it's something fresh and new for a chance, but it'll also give you more insight into the game so you will in fact become a pro some day.

Also don't main medic. Worst choice of my life.
6
#6
12 Frags +
SylentStep 1:
Remind yourself how ridiculous it is to get mad over a 13 year old cartoon video game with a playerbase mostly made up of 14 year old 3rd world furries and weebs

There's no step 2

can you shut up, there is nothing ridiculous about someone getting upset when they lose or don't perform to a certain standard in something they care about, even if it's tf2

[quote=Sylent]Step 1:
Remind yourself how ridiculous it is to get mad over a 13 year old cartoon video game with a playerbase mostly made up of 14 year old 3rd world furries and weebs

There's no step 2[/quote]
can you shut up, there is nothing ridiculous about someone getting upset when they lose or don't perform to a certain standard in something they care about, even if it's tf2
7
#7
newbie.tf
12 Frags +

Switching classes won't make this go away. Imo, you should probably step away for a little while and come back. It seems like you're acknowledging that playing the game isn't something that's super healthy for you rn. Take a while to go away, come back, and see if you can enjoy the game again. If the past 13 years are any indication, it will be here when you get back lol

If you don't enjoy your time playing TF2, there's no reason to play it. I 'quit' taking it incredibly seriously 3-4 years ago now. It's not like an esport where there are any huge stakes. The ONLY reason to play is to have a good time, and if you don't enjoy it... stop. It's one of the best decisions I ever made. Grades turned around, I got healthier, found the love of my life, worked on friendships with people that put up with me never being available, the list goes on.

And if I get the urge to come play some pugs... guess what, it's still there for me. The game's still around. And I suck at it a lot more than I did when I had 60 hours every week, but guess who cares? no one! Still fun.

Best of luck, robln.

Switching classes won't make this go away. Imo, you should probably step away for a little while and come back. It seems like you're acknowledging that playing the game isn't something that's super healthy for you rn. Take a while to go away, come back, and see if you can enjoy the game again. If the past 13 years are any indication, it will be here when you get back lol

If you don't enjoy your time playing TF2, there's no reason to play it. I 'quit' taking it incredibly seriously 3-4 years ago now. It's not like an esport where there are any huge stakes. The ONLY reason to play is to have a good time, and if you don't enjoy it... stop. It's one of the best decisions I ever made. Grades turned around, I got healthier, found the love of my life, worked on friendships with people that put up with me never being available, the list goes on.

And if I get the urge to come play some pugs... guess what, it's still there for me. The game's still around. And I suck at it a lot more than I did when I had 60 hours every week, but guess who cares? no one! Still fun.

Best of luck, robln.
8
#8
-9 Frags +
mmrarkteSylentStep 1:
Remind yourself how ridiculous it is to get mad over a 13 year old cartoon video game with a playerbase mostly made up of 14 year old 3rd world furries and weebs

There's no step 2
can you shut up, there is nothing ridiculous with someone getting upset when they lose or don't perform to a certain standard in something they care about, even if it's tf2

Video games that 100 people care about are incredibly important and you should tilt off the face of the earth if you're not great at them, you heard it here first folks. For more hot takes please follow me on Twitter @basementvirginwisdom

[quote=mmrarkte][quote=Sylent]Step 1:
Remind yourself how ridiculous it is to get mad over a 13 year old cartoon video game with a playerbase mostly made up of 14 year old 3rd world furries and weebs

There's no step 2[/quote]
can you shut up, there is nothing ridiculous with someone getting upset when they lose or don't perform to a certain standard in something they care about, even if it's tf2[/quote]

Video games that 100 people care about are incredibly important and you should tilt off the face of the earth if you're not great at them, you heard it here first folks. For more hot takes please follow me on Twitter @basementvirginwisdom
9
#9
5 Frags +
SylentmmrarkteSylentStep 1:
Remind yourself how ridiculous it is to get mad over a 13 year old cartoon video game with a playerbase mostly made up of 14 year old 3rd world furries and weebs

There's no step 2
can you shut up, there is nothing ridiculous with someone getting upset when they lose or don't perform to a certain standard in something they care about, even if it's tf2

Video games that 100 people care about are incredibly important and you should tilt off the face of the earth if you're not great at them, you heard it here first folks. For more hot takes please follow me on Twitter @basementvirginwisdom

why should the number of people playing affect how much you care about tf2? the game has literally never had anywhere close to a player base that "matters" yet countless people (everyone who has ever played invite and IM) have dedicated themselves and probably at some point, gotten frustrated. also thanks for responding to things I never said

[quote=Sylent][quote=mmrarkte][quote=Sylent]Step 1:
Remind yourself how ridiculous it is to get mad over a 13 year old cartoon video game with a playerbase mostly made up of 14 year old 3rd world furries and weebs

There's no step 2[/quote]
can you shut up, there is nothing ridiculous with someone getting upset when they lose or don't perform to a certain standard in something they care about, even if it's tf2[/quote]

Video games that 100 people care about are incredibly important and you should tilt off the face of the earth if you're not great at them, you heard it here first folks. For more hot takes please follow me on Twitter @basementvirginwisdom[/quote]
why should the number of people playing affect how much you care about tf2? the game has literally never had anywhere close to a player base that "matters" yet countless people (everyone who has ever played invite and IM) have dedicated themselves and probably at some point, gotten frustrated. also thanks for responding to things I never said
10
#10
2 Frags +

Change your objective from getting better to having fun. Also consider taking a break.

Change your objective from getting better to having fun. Also consider taking a break.
11
#11
1 Frags +
SylentVideo games that 100 people care about are incredibly important and you should tilt off the face of the earth if you're not great at them, you heard it here first folks. For more hot takes please follow me on Twitter @basementvirginwisdom

step 1: create strawman that plays to the absolute extremes of what mmrarkte is advocating
step 2: DESTROY strawman with FACTS and LOGIC

[quote=Sylent]Video games that 100 people care about are incredibly important and you should tilt off the face of the earth if you're not great at them, you heard it here first folks. For more hot takes please follow me on Twitter @basementvirginwisdom[/quote]
step 1: create strawman that plays to the absolute extremes of what mmrarkte is advocating
step 2: DESTROY strawman with FACTS and LOGIC
12
#12
-1 Frags +
mmrarktecountless players (...) has dedicated themselves and probably at some point, gotten frustrated. also thanks for responding to things I never said

My dude does this sound like a healthy attitude to have towards a video game?

robln and it just piles up in a shitshow of anger and worthlessness. people try and give me advice but i get too angry to ever listen to it

Furthermore, how many of those players you speak of are people that have/had various psychological issues or awful life issues and use/used competing at tf2 as an extremely unhealthy obsession/coping mechanism, and how many of them that have actually moved on regret being like that?

Don't sit here and try to normalize people getting pissed off at a computer screen because tf2 is the centerpiece of their life

[quote=mmrarkte]countless players (...) has dedicated themselves and probably at some point, gotten frustrated. also thanks for responding to things I never said[/quote]

My dude does this sound like a healthy attitude to have towards a [i]video game[/i]?

[quote=robln] and it just piles up in a shitshow of anger and worthlessness. people try and give me advice but i get too angry to ever listen to it[/quote]

Furthermore, how many of those players you speak of are people that have/had various psychological issues or awful life issues and use/used competing at tf2 as an extremely unhealthy obsession/coping mechanism, and how many of them that have actually moved on regret being like that?

Don't sit here and try to normalize people getting pissed off at a computer screen because tf2 is the centerpiece of their life
13
#13
4 Frags +

If you get angry at anything, generally the best thing to do is to walk away.

If it keeps happening, just stop what makes you angry indefinitely. Make no plans to do it again. If it happens you do do it again, generally will notice a much more calm approach.

Contrary to most people, I do get the reasoning behind taking the game seriously and getting better and competing, and i also don't consider it a waste of time. It's a good way to spend time. So i do understand reluctance to quit doing something that makes you angry if it also makes you happy.

Other than that, meditation and self reflection are the best ways to understand why you are angry, and consider if it's valid.

Most of the advice people give is all the same stuff. It's usually correct too. So if you know the advice, and remember it, whether or not you listen and take it on board is on you, noone else.

I only type this because I'm known for being similar. Angry for no real reason. Was mostly tied to my real life and I'd bring it out online as a venting system. Fixing most of that let me take the time to think about emotions in a different way, and calmed me down a lot. I'm still loud and annoying to a lot of people, and I still get mad at losing but it's the good kind of anger that makes you want to play more and prove more, rather than just getting angry at others. Fixing the anger issues won't make you nicer, it won't make more people like you, and it won't change who you are. So if those are your aims, fix it them elsewhere.

If you get angry at anything, generally the best thing to do is to walk away.

If it keeps happening, just stop what makes you angry indefinitely. Make no plans to do it again. If it happens you do do it again, generally will notice a much more calm approach.

Contrary to most people, I do get the reasoning behind taking the game seriously and getting better and competing, and i also don't consider it a waste of time. It's a good way to spend time. So i do understand reluctance to quit doing something that makes you angry if it also makes you happy.

Other than that, meditation and self reflection are the best ways to understand why you are angry, and consider if it's valid.

Most of the advice people give is all the same stuff. It's usually correct too. So if you know the advice, and remember it, whether or not you listen and take it on board is on you, noone else.

I only type this because I'm known for being similar. Angry for no real reason. Was mostly tied to my real life and I'd bring it out online as a venting system. Fixing most of that let me take the time to think about emotions in a different way, and calmed me down a lot. I'm still loud and annoying to a lot of people, and I still get mad at losing but it's the good kind of anger that makes you want to play more and prove more, rather than just getting angry at others. Fixing the anger issues won't make you nicer, it won't make more people like you, and it won't change who you are. So if those are your aims, fix it them elsewhere.
14
#14
7 Frags +

I can relate so much to this issue. I get upset with myself a lot. It doesn't happen only in tf2, any mistake I make IRL also make me very frustrated (does this also happen in your case?). No one has really found a solution to it yet, but something that might help is to try and look at the things that are going well and that you've accomplished already. In a certain way you could 'love yourself' a bit more. Being aware of the good things sometimes makes you forget of the bad things.

I can relate so much to this issue. I get upset with myself a lot. It doesn't happen only in tf2, any mistake I make IRL also make me very frustrated (does this also happen in your case?). No one has really found a solution to it yet, but something that might help is to try and look at the things that are going well and that you've accomplished already. In a certain way you could 'love yourself' a bit more. Being aware of the good things sometimes makes you forget of the bad things.
15
#15
0 Frags +
Sylentmmrarktecountless players (...) has dedicated themselves and probably at some point, gotten frustrated. also thanks for responding to things I never said
My dude does this sound like a healthy attitude to have towards a video game?
robln and it just piles up in a shitshow of anger and worthlessness. people try and give me advice but i get too angry to ever listen to it
Furthermore, how many of those players you speak of are people that have/had various psychological issues or awful life issues and use/used competing at tf2 as an extremely unhealthy obsession/coping mechanism, and how many of them that have actually moved on regret being like that?

Don't sit here and try to normalize people getting pissed off at a computer screen because tf2 is the centerpiece of their life

the guy has 50 hours in 2 weeks... that's nowhere near the center of his life. people rage and get frustrated at things they care about, that IS normal. frustration and rage have been motivators for so many people to improve at literally everything ever, the healthy thing is to use it for that instead of smashing your screen and wondering why you aren't improving

[quote=Sylent][quote=mmrarkte]countless players (...) has dedicated themselves and probably at some point, gotten frustrated. also thanks for responding to things I never said[/quote]

My dude does this sound like a healthy attitude to have towards a [i]video game[/i]?

[quote=robln] and it just piles up in a shitshow of anger and worthlessness. people try and give me advice but i get too angry to ever listen to it[/quote]

Furthermore, how many of those players you speak of are people that have/had various psychological issues or awful life issues and use/used competing at tf2 as an extremely unhealthy obsession/coping mechanism, and how many of them that have actually moved on regret being like that?

Don't sit here and try to normalize people getting pissed off at a computer screen because tf2 is the centerpiece of their life[/quote]
the guy has 50 hours in 2 weeks... that's nowhere near the center of his life. people rage and get frustrated at things they care about, that IS normal. frustration and rage have been motivators for so many people to improve at literally everything ever, the healthy thing is to use it for that instead of smashing your screen and wondering why you aren't improving
16
#16
1 Frags +
i get too frustrated with myself when i don't succeed at something

That is life for you. In your head you can picture yourself 20-0ing b4nny, fucking this girl in your class, or starting the next microsoft. The truth is b4nny has played (and lost) a fuckton before making it, every chad has had blunders, and the first DOS was a copy of unix but worse.
What matters is to fail and keep trying, because what is fulfilling is not the end result but the act of trying.

it just piles up in a shitshow of anger and worthlessness. people try and give me advice but i get too angry to ever listen to it. and i don't want to quit just yet, i want to prove myself to be one of the best

I was like you when I was still addicted to starcraft. The rare times I would win it would not feel as strong a feeling as all the times I lost. It took me years to open my eyes and realize that I did not enjoy the act of playing the game, but that I craved for that perfect and satisfying win feeling that did not exist.

eventually in tf2 i lost so much that I became numb lol

[quote] i get too frustrated with myself when i don't succeed at something
[/quote]
That is life for you. In your head you can picture yourself 20-0ing b4nny, fucking this girl in your class, or starting the next microsoft. The truth is b4nny has played (and lost) a fuckton before making it, every chad has had blunders, and the first DOS was a copy of unix but worse.
What matters is to fail and keep trying, because what is fulfilling is not the end result but the act of trying.

[quote]it just piles up in a shitshow of anger and worthlessness. people try and give me advice but i get too angry to ever listen to it. and i don't want to quit just yet, i want to prove myself to be one of the best[/quote]
I was like you when I was still addicted to starcraft. The rare times I would win it would not feel as strong a feeling as all the times I lost. It took me years to open my eyes and realize that I did not enjoy the act of playing the game, but that I craved for that perfect and satisfying win feeling that did not exist.

eventually in tf2 i lost so much that I became numb lol
17
#17
2 Frags +

u care too much about winning and instant gratification but u dont wanna go thru whatever it takes to actually be good. this is fine but wanting to improve is gonna take some discipline and its not gonna be easy to break some bad habits. start with trying not to act entitled and thinking that you can succeed without putting in some hours and thought into improving. this is a life skill and youre lucky that you have an opportunity to learn from this situation.

u care too much about winning and instant gratification but u dont wanna go thru whatever it takes to actually be good. this is fine but wanting to improve is gonna take some discipline and its not gonna be easy to break some bad habits. start with trying not to act entitled and thinking that you can succeed without putting in some hours and thought into improving. this is a life skill and youre lucky that you have an opportunity to learn from this situation.
18
#18
0 Frags +

That’s the primary issue with having such a profound passion and love for something, these emotions can be easily swayed into something far less presentable. Realistically, if you’re not connecting very well with a certain thing the best method of reinvigorating your desire to commit to it would be to take a break. You’re not a superhuman, you progress and develop at your own rate. That was the epiphany I had, you cannot force yourself to perform better in an environment that’s uncomfortable. You’ll just get stuck.

That’s the primary issue with having such a profound passion and love for something, these emotions can be easily swayed into something far less presentable. Realistically, if you’re not connecting very well with a certain thing the best method of reinvigorating your desire to commit to it would be to take a break. You’re not a superhuman, you progress and develop at your own rate. That was the epiphany I had, you cannot force yourself to perform better in an environment that’s uncomfortable. You’ll just get stuck.
19
#19
0 Frags +

i assume u feel inferior and u feel like disappoint others when you fail, which happened to me. you should get rid of that idea, focus on the small, but constant improvement. also remember to have fun instead of forcing yourself to do something you dont actually want to do in order to maybe impress someone or something

try giving the game a break, have fun with your other hobbies in the meanwhile

i assume u feel inferior and u feel like disappoint others when you fail, which happened to me. you should get rid of that idea, focus on the small, but constant improvement. also remember to have fun instead of forcing yourself to do something you dont actually want to do in order to maybe impress someone or something

try giving the game a break, have fun with your other hobbies in the meanwhile
20
#20
2 Frags +

you mentioned what happens when you get angry but not why you get angry. this is an important distinction.

typically this kind of frustration stems from expectations not aligning with reality. you might think you should have performed better but, for whatever reason, you did not. this can be described as "arrogance".

become aware of your mental framework and adopt a "student" mindset:
-view every problem as an opportunity to grow
-acknowledge your weaknesses and don't rely on excuses

do those two things and you won't have time to get angry. i know that is easier said than done and we can slip from time to time but it gets easier. shift the goal from "being good" to "becoming good".

the master forfeits their masterdom as soon as they start to believe they have learned all that they could.

you mentioned what happens when you get angry but not why you get angry. this is an important distinction.

typically this kind of frustration stems from expectations not aligning with reality. you might think you should have performed better but, for whatever reason, you did not. this can be described as "arrogance".

become aware of your mental framework and adopt a "student" mindset:
-view every problem as an opportunity to grow
-acknowledge your weaknesses and don't rely on excuses

do those two things and you won't have time to get angry. i know that is easier said than done and we can slip from time to time but it gets easier. shift the goal from "being good" to "becoming good".

the master forfeits their masterdom as soon as they start to believe they have learned all that they could.
21
#21
-4 Frags +

yeah man honestly u care too much, theres a certain amount of caring thats productive to improvement and anything past that just hurts u. what i do to chill out is ask myself "why should i give a fuck?", and when it comes to stuff in this game, the answer is almost always "u shouldnt". theres always gonna be things that piss u off, but coming to terms with the importance of those things is a better path to improvement than to just try to stop them all from existing.

yeah man honestly u care too much, theres a certain amount of caring thats productive to improvement and anything past that just hurts u. what i do to chill out is ask myself "why should i give a fuck?", and when it comes to stuff in this game, the answer is almost always "u shouldnt". theres always gonna be things that piss u off, but coming to terms with the importance of those things is a better path to improvement than to just try to stop them all from existing.
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