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My Story With Dashner: A Thread
1
#1
0 Frags +

TW - Sexual Violence

Edit: I have reached out to the police (my cousin is a state trooper who has worked the past 20 years solely on domestic abuse cases) and unfortunately because it is a he said/he said and it is across country borders there's not much that can be done

As many of you might have seen from my post in the BTS TF2 insanity thread, I had been seeing dashner for a while (about 7 months) and have recently broken up with him. Many of you may also realize that dashner left the BTS team due to "schedule conflicts" and I myself have been kicked off of the broadcast team, though I probably would have been the next person up (other than ArchRhythm) to be able to direct the broadcast. This is the real reason why 1/4 of the heads of LAN left, and the real reason I left the production team.

I met dashner first the weekend episode 3 LAN was supposed to occur. Dashner, sami, Tom, wormsnminnows and myself all took a weekend road trip to Vegas to get our minds off of the LAN cancellation, discuss how they could better support RGB LAN, and celebrate dashner getting hired by Blast Pro Series's production staff, considered one of the biggest CSGO tournament organizers despite some controversies. I've always been a pretty big partier, but rather timid about my body, personal space, and relationships, so when he was hitting on me and attempting to hold my hand, as an 18 year old kid with a handful of relationships under my belt vs. this intimidating 31 year old guy I was very freaked out. He has been my production role model since early iseries and was my inspiration for starting with TFTV and moving on to essentials, culminating in me getting to work on the same event he did years before, so i was really offput but him being attracted to me. He later apologized, but also asked if I was single. I lied and told him I was seeing someone to avoid any further interaction. He would continue to mentor me in production and he got me jobs in the esports community, but as I would find out that was all because he still liked me and was still pursuing a relationship with me.

Around march of this year, I got the opportunity to do my first paid eSports LAN, observing an Overwatch final for colleges in upstate NY. After talking to him a bit since he had previously observed OW World Cup and some other T1 overwatch events, he wanted to help me learn observing practices used by Blizzard staff. Suspiciously he offered to come along to the event and secondarily offered to observe free of charge, so long as I was getting my hotel and gas paid for (which I was). Normally he always hated, ESPECIALLY in overwatch, people working production for free and getting taken advantage of, so this should have been an alarm, but I ignored it. The weekend of the event comes up and he picks me up, we get to our hotel in Albany, and settle down to watch a movie since we had driven 3 hours (6 for him). He had brought plenty of alcohol and insisted that I drink. Being the teenager that I am, being offered free alcohol from a friend/mentor seemed fine, especially since our call time was 3PM the next day. Ended up drinking way more than I should have, and just kinda crashed in my bed. The next thing I knew, dashner was no longer in his own bed but in mine. Eventually things escalated to a point I was very uncomfortable with, which I told him. Despite this, things progressed and I was sexually assaulted. This memory has been suppressed in my brain for a long time, and came back to me after joking about sex with close friends in mumble just a few weeks ago as of writing this post. All of the sudden the details of what had happened that night came surging back and my gut just immediately sank with dread.

The next morning was incredibly hazy for me and dashner assured me that what happened last night was consensual and that we had both had a good time. Shortly after this event we started seeing each other. during that time I was manipulated (dashner donated half of my goal for i65 and told me "this is gonna be ur last TF2 event, right?" constantly), and even blackmailed (after being busy during a weekend he got me a potential event without asking if i was available, he threatened to cut me off of any events with companies he worked with). I have tried to mostly ignore these events due to his alcoholism and my wishes to try and help him with that disease. Unfortunately, those should have just been warning signs for me to leave what was essentially an abusive relationship.

With all of this being said, it still fucking breaks my heart that all of this is happened. At times being with him has made me happier than any other point in my life; I've gotten to experience so many things with him, and we share so many common interests it's uncanny; our love of 70s/80s rock, our drive for production, and our love for anything and everything esports, especially Counter-Strike. As fucked as the situation was I still have many fond memories and some part of me still tells me that I still love and care about him.

And that's why I needed to talk about this.

Coming back to Beyond The Summit, after having these revelations and knowing I couldn't be around him, let alone date him anymore, I reached out to samiface about all of the things that have happened and how I should approach the situation, seeing as she seemed a close friend to dashner and was in charge of an event that him and I were supposed to be both working. I was immediately asked to step down, as to not attract negative attention to the event. Apperently BTS were basically hemmoraging money to put this on for us, so any potential PR nightmare from this situation could have killed the event. Dashner, shortly after hearing about all of this, fled the TF2 scene entirely. He asked enigma to delete his TFTV profile and change his name to a random alphanumeric string, left all TF2 related discords, and privated his twitter account out of fear for his esports career.

Despite how shitty of a person he is, and making me the second victim of this kind of treatment after Uberchain, he is one of the smartest people I know in broadcast and losing him for BTS was like losing the stream itself. I or Arch would have been able to hold down the director position had sami not told me to step down for BTS's benefit (lmao) but not nearly in the same way and not nearly with the same understanding of the equipment that he had. This, combined with the poor handling of alfa's situation, tsc’s resulting mental health situation and various other major issues are why BTS was cancelled.

I want to stress that me coming out with this story serves two purposes:
1) To shine light on why BTS was canceled seeing as the staff is being quiet at best about the situation.
2) To try and show Alex in the only way I can (since legal routes are going nowhere) that he is systematically hurting people and that he needs to stop. I am not doing this to cancel him (though knowing the internet that might well happen), I am doing this to show him that his actions have consequences and I should not as a victim be fearing for my career while he has just worked the biggest show in his. (Blast Pro Series Copenhagen.)

[h][b]TW - Sexual Violence[/b][/h]


Edit: I have reached out to the police (my cousin is a state trooper who has worked the past 20 years solely on domestic abuse cases) and unfortunately because it is a he said/he said and it is across country borders there's not much that can be done


As many of you might have seen from my post in the BTS TF2 insanity thread, I had been seeing dashner for a while (about 7 months) and have recently broken up with him. Many of you may also realize that dashner left the BTS team due to "schedule conflicts" and I myself have been kicked off of the broadcast team, though I probably would have been the next person up (other than ArchRhythm) to be able to direct the broadcast. This is the real reason why 1/4 of the heads of LAN left, and the real reason I left the production team.

I met dashner first the weekend episode 3 LAN was supposed to occur. Dashner, sami, Tom, wormsnminnows and myself all took a weekend road trip to Vegas to get our minds off of the LAN cancellation, discuss how they could better support RGB LAN, and celebrate dashner getting hired by Blast Pro Series's production staff, considered one of the biggest CSGO tournament organizers despite some controversies. I've always been a pretty big partier, but rather timid about my body, personal space, and relationships, so when he was hitting on me and attempting to hold my hand, as an 18 year old kid with a handful of relationships under my belt vs. this intimidating 31 year old guy I was very freaked out. He has been my production role model since early iseries and was my inspiration for starting with TFTV and moving on to essentials, culminating in me getting to work on the same event he did years before, so i was really offput but him being attracted to me. He later apologized, but also asked if I was single. I lied and told him I was seeing someone to avoid any further interaction. He would continue to mentor me in production and he got me jobs in the esports community, but as I would find out that was all because he still liked me and was still pursuing a relationship with me.

Around march of this year, I got the opportunity to do my first paid eSports LAN, observing an Overwatch final for colleges in upstate NY. After talking to him a bit since he had previously observed OW World Cup and some other T1 overwatch events, he wanted to help me learn observing practices used by Blizzard staff. Suspiciously he offered to come along to the event and secondarily offered to observe free of charge, so long as I was getting my hotel and gas paid for (which I was). Normally he always hated, ESPECIALLY in overwatch, people working production for free and getting taken advantage of, so this should have been an alarm, but I ignored it. The weekend of the event comes up and he picks me up, we get to our hotel in Albany, and settle down to watch a movie since we had driven 3 hours (6 for him). He had brought plenty of alcohol and insisted that I drink. Being the teenager that I am, being offered free alcohol from a friend/mentor seemed fine, especially since our call time was 3PM the next day. Ended up drinking way more than I should have, and just kinda crashed in my bed. The next thing I knew, dashner was no longer in his own bed but in mine. Eventually things escalated to a point I was very uncomfortable with, which I told him. Despite this, things progressed and I was sexually assaulted. This memory has been suppressed in my brain for a long time, and came back to me after joking about sex with close friends in mumble just a few weeks ago as of writing this post. All of the sudden the details of what had happened that night came surging back and my gut just immediately sank with dread.

The next morning was incredibly hazy for me and dashner assured me that what happened last night was consensual and that we had both had a good time. Shortly after this event we started seeing each other. during that time I was manipulated (dashner donated half of my goal for i65 and told me "this is gonna be ur last TF2 event, right?" constantly), and even blackmailed (after being busy during a weekend he got me a potential event without asking if i was available, he threatened to cut me off of any events with companies he worked with). I have tried to mostly ignore these events due to his alcoholism and my wishes to try and help him with that disease. Unfortunately, those should have just been warning signs for me to leave what was essentially an abusive relationship.

With all of this being said, it still fucking breaks my heart that all of this is happened. At times being with him has made me happier than any other point in my life; I've gotten to experience so many things with him, and we share so many common interests it's uncanny; our love of 70s/80s rock, our drive for production, and our love for anything and everything esports, especially Counter-Strike. As fucked as the situation was I still have many fond memories and some part of me still tells me that I still love and care about him.

And that's why I needed to talk about this.

Coming back to Beyond The Summit, after having these revelations and knowing I couldn't be around him, let alone date him anymore, I reached out to samiface about all of the things that have happened and how I should approach the situation, seeing as she seemed a close friend to dashner and was in charge of an event that him and I were supposed to be both working. I was immediately asked to step down, as to not attract negative attention to the event. Apperently BTS were basically hemmoraging money to put this on for us, so any potential PR nightmare from this situation could have killed the event. Dashner, shortly after hearing about all of this, fled the TF2 scene entirely. He asked enigma to delete his TFTV profile and change his name to a random alphanumeric string, left all TF2 related discords, and privated his twitter account out of fear for his esports career.

Despite how shitty of a person he is, and making me the second victim of this kind of treatment after Uberchain, he is one of the smartest people I know in broadcast and losing him for BTS was like losing the stream itself. I or Arch would have been able to hold down the director position had sami not told me to step down for BTS's benefit (lmao) but not nearly in the same way and not nearly with the same understanding of the equipment that he had. This, combined with the poor handling of alfa's situation, tsc’s resulting mental health situation and various other major issues are why BTS was cancelled.

I want to stress that me coming out with this story serves two purposes:
1) To shine light on why BTS was canceled seeing as the staff is being quiet at best about the situation.
2) To try and show Alex in the only way I can (since legal routes are going nowhere) that he is systematically hurting people and that he needs to stop. I am not doing this to cancel him (though knowing the internet that might well happen), I am doing this to show him that his actions have consequences and I should not as a victim be fearing for my career while he has just worked the biggest show in his. (Blast Pro Series Copenhagen.)
2
#2
-80 Frags +

holy cow

Important comments:

Uberchain's comment

Uberchain on Ready Up

Console's statement regarding the legal route

Samiface's messages with dashner

drshadowpuppet on prior community knowledge of dashner

holy cow

Important comments:

[url=https://www.teamfortress.tv/post/971247/my-story-with-dashner-a-thread]Uberchain's comment[/url]

[url=https://www.teamfortress.tv/post/971428/my-story-with-dashner-a-thread]Uberchain on Ready Up[/url]

[url=https://www.teamfortress.tv/post/971266/my-story-with-dashner-a-thread]Console's statement regarding the legal route[/url]

[url=https://www.teamfortress.tv/post/971141/my-story-with-dashner-a-thread]Samiface's messages with dashner[/url]

[url=https://www.teamfortress.tv/post/971191/my-story-with-dashner-a-thread]drshadowpuppet on prior community knowledge of dashner[/url]
3
#3
10 Frags +

i'm sorry to hear this

i'm sorry to hear this
4
#4
6 Frags +
Discordholy cow

read it before you post

[quote=Discord]holy cow[/quote]
read it before you post
5
#5
15 Frags +

I used to look up to Dashner, as he was one of the reasons I wanted to pursue production in esports professionally. Fucking pathetic human being jfc.

I used to look up to Dashner, as he was one of the reasons I wanted to pursue production in esports professionally. Fucking pathetic human being jfc.
6
#6
55 Frags +

https://i.imgur.com/76jWBov.png

[img]https://i.imgur.com/76jWBov.png[/img]
7
#7
15 Frags +

nursey #2

nursey #2
8
#8
22 Frags +

noncegate

noncegate
9
#9
73 Frags +

Thank you for posting this.

Thank you for posting this.
10
#10
48 Frags +

Reminder that Dashner is the same dude who would get so mad at HIGHLANDER that he would drop the hard R pretty regularly.

Im so very sorry that this happened to you Console.

And fucking shame on you Samiface, you are a fucking disgrace in how you decided to handle this.

Reminder that Dashner is the same dude who would get so mad at HIGHLANDER that he would drop the hard R pretty regularly.

Im so very sorry that this happened to you Console.

And fucking shame on you Samiface, you are a fucking disgrace in how you decided to handle this.
11
#11
16 Frags +

archive this

archive this
12
#12
63 Frags +
mustardoverlordConsole-redddddkeep in mind Dashner is in his early 30s dating an 18/19 year old so do you guys really expect him to not defend nursey? lol

edit: he was 17? when they first met?
I was 18 when we met, and we're not seeing each other anymore.

it might be legal, but that doesn't make it not creepy
Console-I've always been a pretty big partier, but rather timid about my body, personal space, and relationships, so when he was hitting on me and attempting to hold my hand, as an 18 year old kid with a handful of relationships under my belt vs. this intimidating 31 year old guy I was very freaked out.

please learn from this experience kids (and yes, that includes kids who are legal adults)

[quote=mustardoverlord][quote=Console-][quote=reddddd]keep in mind Dashner is in his early 30s dating an 18/19 year old so do you guys really expect him to not defend nursey? lol

edit: he was 17? when they first met?[/quote]
I was 18 when we met, and we're not seeing each other anymore.[/quote]

it might be legal, but that doesn't make it not creepy[/quote]

[quote=Console-]
I've always been a pretty big partier, but rather timid about my body, personal space, and relationships, so when he was hitting on me and attempting to hold my hand, as an 18 year old kid with a handful of relationships under my belt vs. this intimidating 31 year old guy I was very freaked out.[/quote]

please learn from this experience kids (and yes, that includes kids who are legal adults)
13
#13
101 Frags +

Remember yesterday when everyone downfragged mustard for saying dash was creepy

Remember yesterday when everyone downfragged mustard for saying dash was creepy
14
#14
68 Frags +

should probably get word around to esports companies to blacklist dashner

should probably get word around to esports companies to blacklist dashner
15
#15
50 Frags +

who wants to stomp on rapists

(fr hope all is well with you console and glad you posted this)

who wants to stomp on rapists

(fr hope all is well with you console and glad you posted this)
16
#16
27 Frags +

We support you Ryan. I'm sorry you were put in this situation. Know that people stand behind you and will not allow this to hurt your career. Thanks for all you do

We support you Ryan. I'm sorry you were put in this situation. Know that people stand behind you and will not allow this to hurt your career. Thanks for all you do
17
#17
34 Frags +
mustardoverlordmustardoverlordConsole-redddddkeep in mind Dashner is in his early 30s dating an 18/19 year old so do you guys really expect him to not defend nursey? lol

edit: he was 17? when they first met?
I was 18 when we met, and we're not seeing each other anymore.

it might be legal, but that doesn't make it not creepy
Console-I've always been a pretty big partier, but rather timid about my body, personal space, and relationships, so when he was hitting on me and attempting to hold my hand, as an 18 year old kid with a handful of relationships under my belt vs. this intimidating 31 year old guy I was very freaked out.
please learn from this experience kids (and yes, that includes kids who are legal adults)

remember kids the most important part of this is that mustardoverlord was right.

[quote=mustardoverlord][quote=mustardoverlord][quote=Console-][quote=reddddd]keep in mind Dashner is in his early 30s dating an 18/19 year old so do you guys really expect him to not defend nursey? lol

edit: he was 17? when they first met?[/quote]
I was 18 when we met, and we're not seeing each other anymore.[/quote]

it might be legal, but that doesn't make it not creepy[/quote]

[quote=Console-]
I've always been a pretty big partier, but rather timid about my body, personal space, and relationships, so when he was hitting on me and attempting to hold my hand, as an 18 year old kid with a handful of relationships under my belt vs. this intimidating 31 year old guy I was very freaked out.[/quote]

please learn from this experience kids (and yes, that includes kids who are legal adults)[/quote]

remember kids the most important part of this is that mustardoverlord was right.
18
#18
96 Frags +

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/638849682159829022/639260260753735692/Screenshot_20191031-013126.png

Samiface was well aware of this.

[img]https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/638849682159829022/639260260753735692/Screenshot_20191031-013126.png[/img]

Samiface was well aware of this.
19
#19
28 Frags +

nonce

nonce
20
#20
79 Frags +

I hope you know that none of what happened was your fault Console. That's horrible what he did to you.

I hope you know that none of what happened was your fault Console. That's horrible what he did to you.
21
#21
27 Frags +

For FUCK'S FUCKING SAKE GOD DAMN IT

Sorry Console.

Next RGB I'll buy you lunch, and will remain available to give rides to and from wherever.

For FUCK'S FUCKING SAKE GOD DAMN IT

Sorry Console.


Next RGB I'll buy you lunch, and will remain available to give rides to and from wherever.
22
#22
23 Frags +
Turbomonkeyhttps://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/638849682159829022/639260260753735692/Screenshot_20191031-013126.png

Samiface was well aware of this.

We as a community need to side with victims. I'm not sure of that context but we can't just allow predators to get the benefit of the doubt. Its completely inappropriate to try and cover this shit up. As a close friend of console's I'm just disappointed that I didn't realize the red flags sooner.

[quote=Turbomonkey][img]https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/638849682159829022/639260260753735692/Screenshot_20191031-013126.png[/img]

Samiface was well aware of this.[/quote]

We as a community need to side with victims. I'm not sure of that context but we can't just allow predators to get the benefit of the doubt. Its completely inappropriate to try and cover this shit up. As a close friend of console's I'm just disappointed that I didn't realize the red flags sooner.
23
#23
Essentials.tf
22 Frags +

<3

<3
24
#24
41 Frags +
Peteremember kids the most important part of this is that mustardoverlord was right.

I have an extremely close family member who married a 48 year old at the age of 21 and lives with him and his 18 year old son

situations like this weird me the fuck out man

[quote=Pete]
remember kids the most important part of this is that mustardoverlord was right.[/quote]

I have an extremely close family member who married a 48 year old at the age of 21 and lives with him and his 18 year old son

situations like this weird me the fuck out man
25
#25
-99 Frags +
mustardoverlord

how are you so fucking stupid so consistently

[quote=mustardoverlord][/quote]
how are you so fucking stupid so consistently
26
#26
96 Frags +

So let me get this straight, if what turbo posted is true, then sami is likening getting rid of dashner for being a creep and abusing 2 different members of the community to us cutting off our nose to spite our face?? Am I reading that correctly?

So let me get this straight, if what turbo posted is true, then sami is likening getting rid of dashner for being a creep and abusing 2 different members of the community to us cutting off our nose to spite our face?? Am I reading that correctly?
27
#27
27 Frags +
_MakkabeusSo let me get this straight, if what turbo posted is true, then sami is likening getting rid of dashner for being a creep and abusing 2 different members of the community to us cutting off our nose to spite our face?? Am I reading that correctly?

Correct

[quote=_Makkabeus]So let me get this straight, if what turbo posted is true, then sami is likening getting rid of dashner for being a creep and abusing 2 different members of the community to us cutting off our nose to spite our face?? Am I reading that correctly?[/quote]
Correct
28
#28
138 Frags +

dashner's a massive cunt

dashner's a massive cunt
29
#29
11 Frags +
the_playamustardoverlordhow are you so fucking stupid so consistently

Bruh

[quote=the_playa][quote=mustardoverlord][/quote]
how are you so fucking stupid so consistently[/quote]

Bruh
30
#30
Faint Gaming
43 Frags +
the_playamustardoverlordhow are you so fucking stupid so consistently

If you're going to bash people, at least do it on your main. Don't post anymore

Console you are loved.

[quote=the_playa][quote=mustardoverlord][/quote]
how are you so fucking stupid so consistently[/quote]


If you're going to bash people, at least do it on your main. Don't post anymore

Console you are loved.
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