Jasbutts
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SteamID32 STEAM_0:1:46693760
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Signed Up October 22, 2013
Last Posted November 27, 2019 at 12:22 AM
Posts 574 (0.3 per day)
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#219 BTS 2020 LAN cancelled in News

What fucking sucks is that the morning of the cancellation we were going to have a meeting that weekend (had meetings every weekend to go over things), and we assumed that we would be discussing moving around staff positions. Then a few hours the cancellation comes out of nowhere. To this day, I don't know if it was one person's decision or if there were multiple people.

The folks that were trying to save the event in these last few weeks were taken by as much surprise about the cancellation as everyone else. Wasn't even a notice to the volunteers, or even an offer for them to take it over. It makes me wonder if there was so little faith in the event not happening without the three that removed themselves that they couldn't even let us decide if we wanted to just take it over. And now we are stuck with people that had spent god knows how much money, who may not be able to get it back, players and volunteers alike.

What also fucking sucks is that I couldn't even get crowdfunding off the ground before the cancellation, it required a lot of tournament info that I didn't have, and work that needed to be done by the tournament organizers first. From what I could have had access to would have been amazing. But there was no hope to launch to that scale it once we no longer had the ability to leverage with ticket sales and viewership, and BTS's connection.

posted 2 weeks ago
#33 top juice threead in TF2 General Discussion

Unfiltered apple juice / apple cider is wonderful hot or cold.

posted 2 weeks ago
#38 RL Article on Dashner situtation in TF2 General Discussion

https://puu.sh/EID9s/9666649bf5.png

Thinking about how this was posted in 2018 and things didn't change.

posted 2 weeks ago
#204 My Story With Dashner: A Thread in TF2 General Discussion
Geel9To speak up is to relive, in great detail, being raped. It is to be questioned and doubted at every turn. It is to have perceived inconsistencies called out and further explanations demanded of you. It is to potentially destroy relationships you have with people you love because they don't believe you. By speaking up, you are placing yourself under more scrutiny than the person you're accusing of fucking rape. And in the end, after all that pain, after all the bullshit and relived trauma, you might simply be discarded as lying trash. You may well have helped nobody, had your reputation tarnished, and the net result is that the victim is only further victimized.uberchainBut in calling current victims cowards and a part of the problem - which they absolutely end up agreeing with in their guilt and wonder if they should have ended up sacrificing their safety or reputation for somebody who might not even believe them - you drastically oversimplify the situation to the point of offensiveness, even with good intentions. And you end up accidentally - despite your end goal being the same as everybody else's - contributing to victims not wanting to speak up. We are not just afraid of our abusers or the people who will call us liars.

Wanted to highlight these since it needed to be said. It's not as easy as it sounds to say something and at the same time try to save yourself. Nobody wants their social structure to collapse around them when their abusers are wrapped up so tightly into the foundation of your state of being.

However, every fucking day I sit and wonder what would have happened if I told someone, this man who was entrusted with teaching me one on one, was doing things to me that I realize now fall under sexual assault. Who would have believed a child with no proof? What would my parents think of me and would they never let me go out again? Would my friends ostracize me for having an inappropriate sexual experience? Would I become known as the girl who cried wolf with no physical evidence of something that happened so long ago? Did he go on and do those things to other children because I never said anything? Or did I even process what he did to me was wrong at that age? Did he ever get caught eventually? Or is he still out there, 20 or so years later because I didn't say anything? Is it too late?

Something to think about, and why a lot of victims are afraid.

posted 4 weeks ago
#11 Everyone good? in Off Topic

No

posted 1 month ago
#138 My Story With Dashner: A Thread in TF2 General Discussion
Console-Jasbutts
I was afraid too. I would not have been comfortable being intimate, especially with tf2 people I haven't even met yet in person (only met cornpop and dashner irl) and expressed this to him. He tried to turn it on me that I was hurting him by saying that. It got to the point where I told him im staying with the ETF people going since I wasn't comfortable with the situation and I only get to see them 2x a year usually (cpg and iseries) so why not make the most of a 3rd encounter. He eventually conceded knowing how close I got to gemm and arch over iseries but still tried to pressure me about it.

God, I'm so sorry that there would have been potential for you two to be in a room together. If you do need a place to stay if we manage to salvage this mess and decide to do a shared house, you are more than welcome.

taggDashner was insistent. He never gave up asking and chasing after you if he wanted you for something. He always knew how to make it seem like he or the event was dependent on you going - and that your role was crucial in everything working out. Obviously the idea of being needed for these huge TF2 events is enticing and thats how you get roped into paying to go work at an event for free for a dude that's actually just a horny shitbag.

Very much this, and he was very good at it. Unfortunately some of us took the chance.

This is also the reason why Dashner was removed prior to Tip of the Hats 2018 and going forward. With all the evidence pointed towards him, it violated everything our staff stands stood for.

posted 1 month ago
#131 My Story With Dashner: A Thread in TF2 General Discussion

To Ryan and Ness, I'm so sorry this happened. Don't know what to say, except this.

To Ness specifically. I'm sorry. You told me and I knew. And when I was asked to be part of Episode III and then this LAN, I knew. And I still chose to be part of the production. And work with someone who hurt my friend. And was okay with them staying in the same house as me. And when he assigned me roles and gave me an avenue to create and be involved I took it, like moths to a flame. And yet what he did to you lingered in my head, and I put my pursuits over hiding a predator. But I was scared, I didn't think you'd want this to be called out so I pretended I didn't know anything. And I kept pretending that I was okay working with him because I was scared to put you in the line of fire. But now he's hurt others. Ryan, you didn't deserve any of that at all. I'm sorry that it's happened again.

Edit: Also just remembered I was asked to organize an Airbnb again for production staff, and he told me him and Ryan could share one of the beds between them. Granted this was before knowing the split, but now thinking of what could have happened makes me ill.

posted 1 month ago
#9 My Story With Dashner: A Thread in TF2 General Discussion

Thank you for posting this.

posted 1 month ago
#46 BTS 2020 LAN cancelled in News

I'm gonna cry

posted 1 month ago
#137 BTS TF2 insanity in TF2 General Discussion

This whole thing kinda blows, and I'm curious to hear if any of the other volunteers feel unease about the event as a whole. Not saying it's dead in the water and it's far from it, but the administration woes kind of leave a lot of us waiting around for direction.

Regardless I really want this to work out and I am sure the people working on it want the same.

posted 1 month ago
#151 describe your tf2 career in 3 words or less. in TF2 General Discussion

I draw shit

posted 1 month ago
#48 BTSTF2 in LAN Discussion

cu@

Looks like I'm in charge of crowdfunding now...

Show Content
Hopefully gonna be moved down to LA by the time of the event so I'll have my car. Will be taking a select few to In-N-Out. No promises yet though.
posted 1 month ago
#70 BTS TF2 insanity in TF2 General Discussion

Thinking I was gonna have a fun drama free gamer times and take some cool pictures

posted 1 month ago
#13 Fruit tier list in Off Topic

https://i.imgur.com/b2H8Y3z.png

posted 1 month ago
#78 job thread in Off Topic

Data analyst who works with 2D and 3D imagery, checking to make sure said data is sound, and making corrections as needed. Job contract doesn't allow me to diverge details since it's under NDA, but the I'm a contractor for Apple, a second-class citizen in terms of benefits but better to have some than none. The work is pretty easy to learn and I've moved up to train and manage small groups of employees, and it pays stupidly well for what we do. I am itching to get out since I've been there for 2.5 years and am ready to try something else.

Side hustle is that I sell fish and corals.

posted 1 month ago
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