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Insomnia58 memes and Twitch Spam Thread
1
#1
0 Frags +

Last year you guys were really bad at coming up with stuff on the spot, so I thought I'd make a thread so we can all be prepared this time.

Last year you guys were really bad at coming up with stuff on the spot, so I thought I'd make a thread so we can all be prepared this time.
2
#2
107 Frags +

When Muma was born, his mother stroked his head lovingly and said: "Oh Mumanji, my beautiful baby boy... live long and make your mother proud." She kissed his head... closed her eyes, and passed on. And from that day forward, Muma never died..

When Muma was born, his mother stroked his head lovingly and said: "Oh Mumanji, my beautiful baby boy... live long and make your mother proud." She kissed his head... closed her eyes, and passed on. And from that day forward, Muma never died..
3
#3
24 Frags +

༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ CROWNS TAKE MY ENERGY ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ CROWNS TAKE MY ENERGY ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ
4
#4
132 Frags +

im sorry im not good i apologize for my ego please forgive me, im just europeean

im sorry im not good i apologize for my ego please forgive me, im just europeean
5
#5
34 Frags +

EleGiggle MY BELLY IS HUGE EleGiggle MY BRAIN HAS DELAY EleGiggle YOU GUESSED IT RIGHT EleGiggle I'M FROM NA. EleGiggle

EleGiggle MY BELLY IS HUGE EleGiggle MY BRAIN HAS DELAY EleGiggle YOU GUESSED IT RIGHT EleGiggle I'M FROM NA. EleGiggle
6
#6
95 Frags +

COHEED, ON! ✓
WHITE GIRLS, DEAD! ✓
PJ, SALTED! ✓
200 HOURS, PER WEEKED! ✓
B4NNY IS READY TO PLAY TONIGHT BOYS!

COHEED, ON! ✓
WHITE GIRLS, DEAD! ✓
PJ, SALTED! ✓
200 HOURS, PER WEEKED! ✓
B4NNY IS READY TO PLAY TONIGHT BOYS!
7
#7
43 Frags +

EleGiggle DROPPED ALL MY UBERS EleGiggle MIGHT DROP ONE MORE EleGiggle YOU GUESSED IT RIGHT EleGiggle I'M PHOROFOR. EleGiggle

EleGiggle DROPPED ALL MY UBERS EleGiggle MIGHT DROP ONE MORE EleGiggle YOU GUESSED IT RIGHT EleGiggle I'M PHOROFOR. EleGiggle
8
#8
38 Frags +

█▀ █▄█ █▄ █▄ ▀█▀ █ █▄ ▀█▀

█▀ █▄█ █▄ █▄ ▀█▀ █ █▄ ▀█▀
9
#9
29 Frags +

VoHiYo LET'S CHEER FOR SILENTES VoHiYo

VoHiYo LET'S CHEER FOR SILENTES VoHiYo
10
#10
-40 Frags +

/me here come dat couch BCouch o sit waddup!

/me here come dat couch BCouch o sit waddup!
11
#11
12 Frags +

That's not funny man

That's not funny man
12
#12
42 Frags +

█▄ █▄█ █▄ ▀█▀ █ █▄ ▀█▀

█▄ █▄█ █▄ ▀█▀ █ █▄ ▀█▀
13
#13
184 Frags +

WARHURYEAH : CROWNS MAY NOT BE ABLE TO GET IN TO THE VENUE AT LAN BECAUSE THE DOOR SAYS "PUSH" XD

WARHURYEAH : CROWNS MAY NOT BE ABLE TO GET IN TO THE VENUE AT LAN BECAUSE THE DOOR SAYS "PUSH" XD
14
#14
9 Frags +

EleGiggle MY NAMES MUMA EleGiggle I LIKE TO THROW EleGiggle I DONT KNOW HOW EleGiggle IM ON FROYO

EleGiggle MY NAMES MUMA EleGiggle I LIKE TO THROW EleGiggle I DONT KNOW HOW EleGiggle IM ON FROYO
15
#15
18 Frags +

this is my first time watching a team fortress stream and it will probably be my last time. this community seems to be full of year old virgins. grow up.

this is my first time watching a team fortress stream and it will probably be my last time. this community seems to be full of year old virgins. grow up.
16
#16
19 Frags +

Hey there, I go by kaptain and I am a pretty young Dutch brony who has just VERY recently gotten into the whole Pony thing, infact it's today (2/18/2015) that I have finally admitted that I like MLP to all my friends and what not online and in offline.

Hey there, I go by kaptain and I am a pretty young Dutch brony who has just VERY recently gotten into the whole Pony thing, infact it's today (2/18/2015) that I have finally admitted that I like MLP to all my friends and what not online and in offline.
17
#17
4 Frags +

Corsa's got you covered fam, you don't need a thread

Corsa's got you covered fam, you don't need a thread
18
#18
Twitch Prime
99 Frags +

I’m Crowns Drackk and this is my Gullywash I work here with my coach and my old man, MidnightMick, and in 23 years of holding 2nd I’ve learned one thing. You never know what is gonna come through that Big door.

I’m Crowns Drackk and this is my Gullywash I work here with my coach and my old man, MidnightMick, and in 23 years of holding 2nd I’ve learned one thing. You never know what is gonna come through that Big door.
19
#19
75 Frags +

Hi guys I just got here and checked the schedule but I can't seem to find when RONIN are playing... can anyone tell me when the RONIN match starts??

Hi guys I just got here and checked the schedule but I can't seem to find when RONIN are playing... can anyone tell me when the RONIN match starts??
20
#20
26 Frags +

b4nny shuffles to his locker wiping a tear from his eye. He looks over his shoulder to see PCMR and EU, the jock E-Athlete bullies, laughing at him and his wedgie. b4nny clinches his fist in rage knowing that soon the time would come, he will show them…

b4nny shuffles to his locker wiping a tear from his eye. He looks over his shoulder to see PCMR and EU, the jock E-Athlete bullies, laughing at him and his wedgie. b4nny clinches his fist in rage knowing that soon the time would come, he will show them…
21
#21
8 Frags +

Hello this is chef b4nny. I'm employee of the month at burger king and will explain you step by step how to make the best burger: 1) take bread 2) add PJSalt 3) take a lot of meat 4) add PJSalt 5) use vegetables, not too much cause we don't wanna taste them 6) add PJSalt 7) Add another slice of bread. 8) Finish it off with some PJSalt

Hello this is chef b4nny. I'm employee of the month at burger king and will explain you step by step how to make the best burger: 1) take bread 2) add PJSalt 3) take a lot of meat 4) add PJSalt 5) use vegetables, not too much cause we don't wanna taste them 6) add PJSalt 7) Add another slice of bread. 8) Finish it off with some PJSalt
22
#22
57 Frags +

༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ JASMINE TAKE MY DIDGERIDOO ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ JASMINE TAKE MY DIDGERIDOO ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ
23
#23
2 Frags +

ItsBoshyTime Twitch Staff here, one person in this channel will be randomly given golden Kappa in the next few minutes minutes but only if you type Kappa, good luck! ItsBoshyTime

ItsBoshyTime Twitch Staff here, one person in this channel will be randomly given golden Kappa in the next few minutes minutes but only if you type Kappa, good luck! ItsBoshyTime
24
#24
17 Frags +

He stood their by the riverbed. Waiting for him to come. He put an advertisement on Craigslist, subtly hinting at how he wasn't selling anything ordinary, but his ass instead. Sondi knew the risks, but he didn't care not one bit, he needed to pay his bills SOMEHOW. And this way seemed the easiest. Not 10 minutes later, a tall, lanky man approached him. The man whispered to the lithe young Sondi his secret pass-phrase, "shit the bed" the man said, with a thick, English accent. Sondi grabbed his hand, and led him up the river. The client, confused, said "Don't I have to pay you first? Don't you want to at least know my name?" Sondi,decided to entertain the man, and replied to him "Sure! What is your name?" The man replied hesitantly, "I.. I guess you shouldn't know my real name, but... Can you call me Sideshow?" Sondi shook his message off, and continued up the river to the nearby local park. At the park, Sondi led Sideshow into the public bathrooms. and into the last stall.

Sondi had been through this process a million times before. He unzipped his ass and pressed it onto Sideshow's shirt. He pulled a bottle of baby oil from out of his bag, and poured it onto his back, down to his buttocks, which were still on Sideshow's shirt. Sideshow, afraid his mother would wonder why his clothes were drenched in oil, quickly removed as much clothing as he could, starting from the bottom, slowly moving his way up, unbuttoning his shirt. Sondi, still pressed onto Sideshows stomach with his ass, started moving upwards and downwards. He grabbed onto Sideshow's arms as he was bent forward like the letter L sideways. He peeled away from the rock-hard, deathly pale English man, and grabbed his enormous member, stuffing into his own "brown hole". Sideshow groaned, and tightly shut his eyes, pure pleasure was overwhelming the virgin. He knew he couldn't last very long against this trained professional, so he yanked his dong out. The sausage was throbbing, anything could have caused it to cum. Sondi reached towards it, but even that had triggered the poor man to spray his man milk wildly all over. Sondi, satisfied with is work, licked the salty, sticky juice from his hands. "Cough it up, creep." Sideshow nervously checked his pockets, only being able to give 15p to the man. He threw the coins to the ground and ran out of the bathroom, still completely naked, and into the park.

Sideshow the Frugal had struck again.

He stood their by the riverbed. Waiting for him to come. He put an advertisement on Craigslist, subtly hinting at how he wasn't selling anything ordinary, but his ass instead. Sondi knew the risks, but he didn't care not one bit, he needed to pay his bills SOMEHOW. And this way seemed the easiest. Not 10 minutes later, a tall, lanky man approached him. The man whispered to the lithe young Sondi his secret pass-phrase, "shit the bed" the man said, with a thick, English accent. Sondi grabbed his hand, and led him up the river. The client, confused, said "Don't I have to pay you first? Don't you want to at least know my name?" Sondi,decided to entertain the man, and replied to him "Sure! What is your name?" The man replied hesitantly, "I.. I guess you shouldn't know my real name, but... Can you call me Sideshow?" Sondi shook his message off, and continued up the river to the nearby local park. At the park, Sondi led Sideshow into the public bathrooms. and into the last stall.

Sondi had been through this process a million times before. He unzipped his ass and pressed it onto Sideshow's shirt. He pulled a bottle of baby oil from out of his bag, and poured it onto his back, down to his buttocks, which were still on Sideshow's shirt. Sideshow, afraid his mother would wonder why his clothes were drenched in oil, quickly removed as much clothing as he could, starting from the bottom, slowly moving his way up, unbuttoning his shirt. Sondi, still pressed onto Sideshows stomach with his ass, started moving upwards and downwards. He grabbed onto Sideshow's arms as he was bent forward like the letter L sideways. He peeled away from the rock-hard, deathly pale English man, and grabbed his enormous member, stuffing into his own "brown hole". Sideshow groaned, and tightly shut his eyes, pure pleasure was overwhelming the virgin. He knew he couldn't last very long against this trained professional, so he yanked his dong out. The sausage was throbbing, anything could have caused it to cum. Sondi reached towards it, but even that had triggered the poor man to spray his man milk wildly all over. Sondi, satisfied with is work, licked the salty, sticky juice from his hands. "Cough it up, creep." Sideshow nervously checked his pockets, only being able to give 15p to the man. He threw the coins to the ground and ran out of the bathroom, still completely naked, and into the park.

Sideshow the Frugal had struck again.
25
#25
26 Frags +

Slamberg had been farming pugs all night. His eyes were heavy and his heart heavier, but his efforts reflected in his elo-- he was within 1000 elo points of b4nny. “So close”, he thought. It was the only way to truly get the attention and love of his idol; there just wasn’t any other way. He heard a loud BEEP coming from his monitor, it was pug champ! It was time to pick. B4nny was the other captain, so he knew if he made stupid picks and threw the game that b4nny would call him an idiot, which was his biggest turn on. It was b4nny’s turn to pick and his heart nearly dropped when he saw who was the first to get chosen by the great b4nny….. It was muma.
He panicked and quickly picked his pocket shrugger. Everyone was shocked, even shrugger. He thought he signed up for scout but must have misclicked. Trying to recover, he went to pick Muffinz on roamer, but picked him on demo instead. B4nny laughed at this team and typed “fucking farmberg” in the chat. Slamberg’s tumescence was throbbing from just reading this statement-- he couldn’t believe b4nny spoke directly to him. B4nny went for the fattest picks - paddie, lansky, freestate - you name it and b4nny had the player. B4nny picked himself to play scout, so slamberg knew he had to also play scout so he could show him his fragging finesse. He knew it was the only way to get at that 13 inch punisher. The match was about to start, slamberg had one hand on his mouse and the other on his 3 inch pencil dick (chode better imo)… he was ready to take b4nny’s insults, and the game was ready to start. OSsloth

The game was over before slamberg knew it. B4nny rolled him and his team 5-0, his stream chat made memes out of slamberg and he loved every second of it. He stroked his 3 inch pocket pistol to every frag that b4nny got on him. He moaned every time his medic got dropped. He knew what he had to do. He sent b4nny a PM asking him to join his PRIVATE mumble, knowing b4nny would jump at the chance to insult him. Slamberg stood up to grab his 12 liter bucket of lube and 10 rolls of elmo brand tissue papers before b4nny joined. He knew that the second he heard b4nny’s voice that he wouldn’t be able to control himself, so he thought “better safe than sorry”. B4nny joined the mumble to hear muma blasting a COHEED and CANADA song though his microphone. “What the fuck?” b4nny moaned to his stream. He usually muted mic spammers but slamberg knew he couldn’t resist the sweet rock and roll of his favorite band. Slamberg had him right where he wanted him. But before b4nny could say anything, Time Warner Cable fucked him over and he crashed. His stream chat was filled with “rip”, but little did b4nny know Slamberg was one of those “rip”s. B4nny rejoined the mumble. “Looks like your stream is kill…” He said slyly. “It’s just us now”. OSsloth

It was one week after that when slamberg got on a flight. The plane lands in California for a “business trip” he had set up the week before. He thought multiple times about going to see b4nny but he just couldn’t bring himself to betray paddie like that. “They don’t have to find out… it will be our secret…” slamberg thinks to himself. He thought about b4nny playing guitar to him and whispering “later” into his ear over and over while he rammed him from behind while lil gray watched ….. “NO!” he thought. “Get these thoughts out of your head! You don’t want to freak him out… just try to be normal slamberg”. Slamberg Knocks on b4nny’s door. B4nny opens it to hear “Well well well, if it isn’t Grant “Fucking” Vincent”. B4nny was shocked, “Slammie-- uuhhh I mean slamberg?!?! What are you doing here?!?”. Slamberg couldn’t help but blush, “Well I was just dropping by to hang out. Maybe get a lan going?” “I don’t know about that…I mean it is only the two of us…”

Slamberg has been crashing at b4nny's place for some time now rent free. He is thinking of anyway possible to pay him back. He walks into his room one late night just as he ends the stream
“Had a good night of fragging?”
“Always.” said b4nny. Grant stood up and walked over to clamber but tripped on his guitar, landing right into slambergs arms. He tried to get up but he just couldn’t resist being wrapped around slamberg’s muscular arms.
“Oh… I’m sorry slammie” b4nny whispered
“No no…. it’s alright” slamberg whispered back.. Slamberg took Grant by the hand and led him to the bed. “ Slamberg took b4nny and threw him on the bed for the roughest MGE of his life. B4nny ripped off slambergs shirt.. He was not about to lose this mid. Slamberg fought back and whispered into b4nny’s ear “you don’t deserve” But b4nny being the TOP fragger he was, He KNEW he deserved! B4nny grabbed slamberg’s “original” and started firing rockets off into his mouth. “OH B4nny! Please don’t stop” B4nny didn’t know how to stop. Slamberg wanted to return the favor and grabbed b4nny and flipped him around. He whispered into b4nny’s ear “I’m going for the backcap” and stuck his backscatter into b4nny's behind. He went even DEEPer with such intensity, b4nny moaned louder then any call he has ever made. Luckily he is extremely turned on by micro dicks. B4nny felt so good that He screamed out “STEEEVE” at the top of his lungs He was left with only 9hp Luckily.. Slamberg was left in tears- how could he be mistaken for Steve!?!? He doesn't even play tf2 anymore! B4nny leaned over. Slamberg thought he was going to apologize but he was very wrong. B4nny very lightly whispered “you didn’t deserve”. AT that moment paddie came bursting out from the closet and yelled “HAHA FUCKING FARMBERG LEARN TO FRAG”. Slamberg was still in tears and he ran out of b4nny’s house naked. He felt an odd sense of satisfaction though. He got what he wanted in the end, no matter how it happened. “I’ll just keep throwing in pugs… they’ll come back…” and he has been lurking ever since.

Slamberg had been farming pugs all night. His eyes were heavy and his heart heavier, but his efforts reflected in his elo-- he was within 1000 elo points of b4nny. “So close”, he thought. It was the only way to truly get the attention and love of his idol; there just wasn’t any other way. He heard a loud BEEP coming from his monitor, it was pug champ! It was time to pick. B4nny was the other captain, so he knew if he made stupid picks and threw the game that b4nny would call him an idiot, which was his biggest turn on. It was b4nny’s turn to pick and his heart nearly dropped when he saw who was the first to get chosen by the great b4nny….. It was muma.
He panicked and quickly picked his pocket shrugger. Everyone was shocked, even shrugger. He thought he signed up for scout but must have misclicked. Trying to recover, he went to pick Muffinz on roamer, but picked him on demo instead. B4nny laughed at this team and typed “fucking farmberg” in the chat. Slamberg’s tumescence was throbbing from just reading this statement-- he couldn’t believe b4nny spoke directly to him. B4nny went for the fattest picks - paddie, lansky, freestate - you name it and b4nny had the player. B4nny picked himself to play scout, so slamberg knew he had to also play scout so he could show him his fragging finesse. He knew it was the only way to get at that 13 inch punisher. The match was about to start, slamberg had one hand on his mouse and the other on his 3 inch pencil dick (chode better imo)… he was ready to take b4nny’s insults, and the game was ready to start. OSsloth


The game was over before slamberg knew it. B4nny rolled him and his team 5-0, his stream chat made memes out of slamberg and he loved every second of it. He stroked his 3 inch pocket pistol to every frag that b4nny got on him. He moaned every time his medic got dropped. He knew what he had to do. He sent b4nny a PM asking him to join his PRIVATE mumble, knowing b4nny would jump at the chance to insult him. Slamberg stood up to grab his 12 liter bucket of lube and 10 rolls of elmo brand tissue papers before b4nny joined. He knew that the second he heard b4nny’s voice that he wouldn’t be able to control himself, so he thought “better safe than sorry”. B4nny joined the mumble to hear muma blasting a COHEED and CANADA song though his microphone. “What the fuck?” b4nny moaned to his stream. He usually muted mic spammers but slamberg knew he couldn’t resist the sweet rock and roll of his favorite band. Slamberg had him right where he wanted him. But before b4nny could say anything, Time Warner Cable fucked him over and he crashed. His stream chat was filled with “rip”, but little did b4nny know Slamberg was one of those “rip”s. B4nny rejoined the mumble. “Looks like your stream is kill…” He said slyly. “It’s just us now”. OSsloth



It was one week after that when slamberg got on a flight. The plane lands in California for a “business trip” he had set up the week before. He thought multiple times about going to see b4nny but he just couldn’t bring himself to betray paddie like that. “They don’t have to find out… it will be our secret…” slamberg thinks to himself. He thought about b4nny playing guitar to him and whispering “later” into his ear over and over while he rammed him from behind while lil gray watched ….. “NO!” he thought. “Get these thoughts out of your head! You don’t want to freak him out… just try to be normal slamberg”. Slamberg Knocks on b4nny’s door. B4nny opens it to hear “Well well well, if it isn’t Grant “Fucking” Vincent”. B4nny was shocked, “Slammie-- uuhhh I mean slamberg?!?! What are you doing here?!?”. Slamberg couldn’t help but blush, “Well I was just dropping by to hang out. Maybe get a lan going?” “I don’t know about that…I mean it is only the two of us…”


Slamberg has been crashing at b4nny's place for some time now rent free. He is thinking of anyway possible to pay him back. He walks into his room one late night just as he ends the stream
“Had a good night of fragging?”
“Always.” said b4nny. Grant stood up and walked over to clamber but tripped on his guitar, landing right into slambergs arms. He tried to get up but he just couldn’t resist being wrapped around slamberg’s muscular arms.
“Oh… I’m sorry slammie” b4nny whispered
“No no…. it’s alright” slamberg whispered back.. Slamberg took Grant by the hand and led him to the bed. “ Slamberg took b4nny and threw him on the bed for the roughest MGE of his life. B4nny ripped off slambergs shirt.. He was not about to lose this mid. Slamberg fought back and whispered into b4nny’s ear “you don’t deserve” But b4nny being the TOP fragger he was, He KNEW he deserved! B4nny grabbed slamberg’s “original” and started firing rockets off into his mouth. “OH B4nny! Please don’t stop” B4nny didn’t know how to stop. Slamberg wanted to return the favor and grabbed b4nny and flipped him around. He whispered into b4nny’s ear “I’m going for the backcap” and stuck his backscatter into b4nny's behind. He went even DEEPer with such intensity, b4nny moaned louder then any call he has ever made. Luckily he is extremely turned on by micro dicks. B4nny felt so good that He screamed out “STEEEVE” at the top of his lungs He was left with only 9hp Luckily.. Slamberg was left in tears- how could he be mistaken for Steve!?!? He doesn't even play tf2 anymore! B4nny leaned over. Slamberg thought he was going to apologize but he was very wrong. B4nny very lightly whispered “you didn’t deserve”. AT that moment paddie came bursting out from the closet and yelled “HAHA FUCKING FARMBERG LEARN TO FRAG”. Slamberg was still in tears and he ran out of b4nny’s house naked. He felt an odd sense of satisfaction though. He got what he wanted in the end, no matter how it happened. “I’ll just keep throwing in pugs… they’ll come back…” and he has been lurking ever since.
26
#26
32 Frags +
Ice_Cold_Lemonadeshit

who the fuck took half an hour out of their life to write this

[quote=Ice_Cold_Lemonade]shit[/quote]

who the fuck took half an hour out of their life to write this
27
#27
2 Frags +
rocketslayIce_Cold_Lemonadeshit
who the fuck took half an hour out of their life to write this

i'll try to find the doc

[quote=rocketslay][quote=Ice_Cold_Lemonade]shit[/quote]

who the fuck took half an hour out of their life to write this[/quote]
i'll try to find the doc
28
#28
51 Frags +

Sodium, atomic number 11, was first isolated by Grant "b4nny" Vincent in 1807. A chemical component of salt, he named it Na in honor of the saltiest region on earth, North America.

Sodium, atomic number 11, was first isolated by Grant "b4nny" Vincent in 1807. A chemical component of salt, he named it Na in honor of the saltiest region on earth, North America.
29
#29
11 Frags +

"wow of course u would counter jump me u little bitch"

b4nny felt very comfortable with his statement that he put into the in-game chat. He absolutely hated counter-jumpers, and seeing Sideshow doing so on his favorite arena, Spire, made him feel anger.

But he felt something else, too.

"wow of course u would counter jump me u little bitch"

Sideshow loved it. How perfect could the famous b4nny be? Everyone knew him as one of the great DM Gods of the Americas. And seeing that single line of text filled Sideshow with a happiness. He loved being humilated by those above him. He loved being dominated by anyone, in any shape or form. Sideshow wanted to be a little worm beneath b4nny's feet. He dreamed of that day.

Friday, August 26, 2016

Two days before i58 LAN.

Sideshow had not easily forgotten what had happened at i55 with b4nny. He hadn't had a pipe as tasty as b4nny's, and he was desperate for more. He needed that wang like a cocaine addict fiended over that nose candy.

Sideshow had already planned everything out. He had already had a room prepared for the explicit purpose of "doing-the-deed".

He waited in his bedroom for hours.Waiting for a signal that b4nny arrived. Maybe he would hear his voice? Or the sound of his shoes softly tapping on the linoleum flooring? Sideshow lost track of time, drifting into his own carnal thoughts and closed his eyes. All he could see was a supple, soft, uncircumcised penis, sheathed by foreskin. One day, his dream would cpme true. And Sideshow was determined to make it on that very same day.

The sun shined through the heavy curtains. Birds chirping, a slight breeze carried pollen through the air.

Our little dong goblin had fallen asleep.

Angered that his plan had failed to such an idiotic mistake, yet at the same time terrified that this was going to be his last chance to smell the musk of b4nny, Sideshow sprung out of bed. He frantically snatched his clothes up and took a brief shower. Different thoughts raced through Sideshow's mind. His first plan already had failed, he had to make a new one, and he had to make it quickly.

The thought sprang into his mind. He had never thought of doing so simple before. Sideshow would invite the American LAN champ to the nearby tf2 pub, "Skial's Badwaters".

Sideshow waited within the empty bar. The only noise he could hear was the traffic outside. He whipped out his phone, screen cracked, the pink plastic case nearly slipping off. Sideshow finallu mustered up enough strength to send b4nny a message through Steam.

"Why don't you come down to Skial's Badwaters? I've got a couple of friends waiting here."

He sat his phone down onto the bar stool beside him. Sideshow had plenty of experience with other men, but b4nny always had made him more nervous than a tf2 match.

The wooden door swung open. The sun was to his back and his cape was pulled behind him by the draft within the pub. b4nny, the long time tf2 lan champ had arrived.

"Didn't ya say that there would be more people here?" b4nny said, his confidence draining with each word.

"Yeah, but we can have fun without them. Let's get some drinks."

The bartender walked from the unkempt bathroom and towards the couple.

"What do you two want?"

"I'll have two pink squirrels" Sideshow desprately needed that liquid courage, and he needed it now.

The two men finished their drinks, Sideshow slamming both drinks like a slut slamming on wangs and b4nny casually sipping on his like a bitch.

Sideshow, a complete lightweight, had already begun to feel the effects of the sweet almond cocktail.

Sideshow had opened his mouth in a drunken slur and had spat out "Hhhhhey, can you pick up the tab for me.... I f-forgot my wallet in my room".

Annoyed by the wildly cheap Sideshow, b4nny slapped down a £50 note.

"Alright let's just go home" b4nny had said, with a hint of dissapointment in his voice.

Sideshow's plan was fully coalescing "Let's go back to my room, we can play a game or something"

The duo left, walking down the dark streets until Sideshow reached his hotel.

They had walked into the elevator, and Sideshow had slipped the card key into the door.

"Room 519"

Sideshow threw b4nny onto the soft bed, shoes still on.

"W-w-wait! I thought you said we were going to be playing games!"

"We will be" Sideshow had said, winking at the quavering twink.

Sideshow hadn't wasted a full 12 months of planning just to be blue balled last second because of b4nny's cold feet.

Baby oil. A red ball-gag. Rope. A 9-tailed whip. These were the things that Sideshow pulled from his black duffle bag. Sideshow already had removed and neatly folded his clothes and placed them in the corner, waiting for him after the deed was done.

Sideshow tossed the ball gag over to b4nny. Sideshow somehow tied himself to the bed without any assisstance. But he still needed assisstance with something else.

"b4nny, lube me."

"Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you? You little sex hungry fox. You want this big, floppy steak, don't ya?"

Sideshow hadn't expected b4nny to have a change of heart so quickly. This had made things much, much easier.

Sideshow's was lying on his knees. Both hands tied to either corner of the bed. Waiting for that cool, smooth liquid to be poured on his waiting brown starfish. The anticipation that his raised buttocks was feeling was palpable.

"You naughty little boy. You dont DESERVE such liberties as lubricant."

Sideshow looked over his shoulder.

Behind him stood a behemoth. An easily six and a half foot giant, with a penis the size of a summer sausage (image: http://sportsrapport.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/usingers-summer-sausage.jpg) and a man with more hair than a gorilla.

"You've grown, since last I saw you. Naked, I mean."

"Yeah. And you're going to taste my growth like a sunflower tastes photosynthesis, bitch."

Sideshow didnt understand a fucking word that the dribbling retard said, but he was excited anyways.

"Punish me, b4nny."

And punish he did.

Sideshow was whipped until his asscheeks were a strawberry-shortcake red. And he loved every single second of it.

"INSULT ME, B4NNY!" -Sideshow said, the pain overwhelming him with pleasure, adrenaline, fear, and everything in between.

"Bitch! Slut! Whore! Keep yelling, you jewish cock loving idiot!" each word encouraged Sideshow, and filled him with more and more satisfaction.

"STICK IT IN ME! PUMMEL ME WITH YOUR ROD OF LIGHTNING, YOUR SALAMI OF STRENGTH!"

B4nny violently threw himself at Sideshows raw, stinging, arab ass began fucking the puny man at warp speed. With each thrust, he simply grunted
Sideshow was much, much more passionate in his ability to verbally describe his lust.

"Give me your all, b4n man! Fuck me harder than how you fuck those brain dead pubbers!"

Each thrust, their grunts became louder. The two mens liquids of precum, spit, sweat and tears all intermingled to make the room smell suprisingly like the underside of a bench at a public gym.

Sideshow's tongue lolled out and his eyes glossed over. The only thing that existed in this world was penis, and butthole.

b4nny's thrust had been increasing in speed since he had started, and at this point, b4nny was moving faster than light. With the precision of a military sniper and the steady-ness of a bomb defusal expert, b4nny removed his wet, throbbing cock from the tight pound hole, and removed Sideshow's restraints

"Finish me off."

With that being said, Sideshow had seized the bottle of Baby oil that was beside him the entire time, teasing him with dreams of soft entry, and dumped half the bottle over his own chest and genitals and the other half on b4nnys.

He pushed b4nny onto the bed yet again, and laid over him, cock-to-cock.

Sideshow began rubbing his worm across the giant banana.

b4nny couldn't bear it for much longer, and Sideshow knew it too.

"wow of course u would counter jump me u little bitch"

b4nny felt very comfortable with his statement that he put into the in-game chat. He absolutely hated counter-jumpers, and seeing Sideshow doing so on his favorite arena, Spire, made him feel anger.

But he felt something else, too.

"wow of course u would counter jump me u little bitch"

Sideshow loved it. How perfect could the famous b4nny be? Everyone knew him as one of the great DM Gods of the Americas. And seeing that single line of text filled Sideshow with a happiness. He loved being humilated by those above him. He loved being dominated by anyone, in any shape or form. Sideshow wanted to be a little worm beneath b4nny's feet. He dreamed of that day.

Friday, August 26, 2016

Two days before i58 LAN.


Sideshow had not easily forgotten what had happened at i55 with b4nny. He hadn't had a pipe as tasty as b4nny's, and he was desperate for more. He needed that wang like a cocaine addict fiended over that nose candy.

Sideshow had already planned everything out. He had already had a room prepared for the explicit purpose of "doing-the-deed".

He waited in his bedroom for hours.Waiting for a signal that b4nny arrived. Maybe he would hear his voice? Or the sound of his shoes softly tapping on the linoleum flooring? Sideshow lost track of time, drifting into his own carnal thoughts and closed his eyes. All he could see was a supple, soft, uncircumcised penis, sheathed by foreskin. One day, his dream would cpme true. And Sideshow was determined to make it on that very same day.

The sun shined through the heavy curtains. Birds chirping, a slight breeze carried pollen through the air.

Our little dong goblin had fallen asleep.

Angered that his plan had failed to such an idiotic mistake, yet at the same time terrified that this was going to be his last chance to smell the musk of b4nny, Sideshow sprung out of bed. He frantically snatched his clothes up and took a brief shower. Different thoughts raced through Sideshow's mind. His first plan already had failed, he had to make a new one, and he had to make it quickly.

The thought sprang into his mind. He had never thought of doing so simple before. Sideshow would invite the American LAN champ to the nearby tf2 pub, "Skial's Badwaters".

Sideshow waited within the empty bar. The only noise he could hear was the traffic outside. He whipped out his phone, screen cracked, the pink plastic case nearly slipping off. Sideshow finallu mustered up enough strength to send b4nny a message through Steam.

"Why don't you come down to Skial's Badwaters? I've got a couple of friends waiting here."

He sat his phone down onto the bar stool beside him. Sideshow had plenty of experience with other men, but b4nny always had made him more nervous than a tf2 match.

The wooden door swung open. The sun was to his back and his cape was pulled behind him by the draft within the pub. b4nny, the long time tf2 lan champ had arrived.

"Didn't ya say that there would be more people here?" b4nny said, his confidence draining with each word.

"Yeah, but we can have fun without them. Let's get some drinks."

The bartender walked from the unkempt bathroom and towards the couple.

"What do you two want?"

"I'll have two pink squirrels" Sideshow desprately needed that liquid courage, and he needed it now.

The two men finished their drinks, Sideshow slamming both drinks like a slut slamming on wangs and b4nny casually sipping on his like a bitch.

Sideshow, a complete lightweight, had already begun to feel the effects of the sweet almond cocktail.

Sideshow had opened his mouth in a drunken slur and had spat out "Hhhhhey, can you pick up the tab for me.... I f-forgot my wallet in my room".

Annoyed by the wildly cheap Sideshow, b4nny slapped down a £50 note.

"Alright let's just go home" b4nny had said, with a hint of dissapointment in his voice.

Sideshow's plan was fully coalescing "Let's go back to my room, we can play a game or something"

The duo left, walking down the dark streets until Sideshow reached his hotel.

They had walked into the elevator, and Sideshow had slipped the card key into the door.

"Room 519"

Sideshow threw b4nny onto the soft bed, shoes still on.

"W-w-wait! I thought you said we were going to be playing games!"

"We will be" Sideshow had said, winking at the quavering twink.

Sideshow hadn't wasted a full 12 months of planning just to be blue balled last second because of b4nny's cold feet.

Baby oil. A red ball-gag. Rope. A 9-tailed whip. These were the things that Sideshow pulled from his black duffle bag. Sideshow already had removed and neatly folded his clothes and placed them in the corner, waiting for him after the deed was done.

Sideshow tossed the ball gag over to b4nny. Sideshow somehow tied himself to the bed without any assisstance. But he still needed assisstance with something else.

"b4nny, lube me."

"Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you? You little sex hungry fox. You want this big, floppy steak, don't ya?"

Sideshow hadn't expected b4nny to have a change of heart so quickly. This had made things much, much easier.

Sideshow's was lying on his knees. Both hands tied to either corner of the bed. Waiting for that cool, smooth liquid to be poured on his waiting brown starfish. The anticipation that his raised buttocks was feeling was palpable.

"You naughty little boy. You dont DESERVE such liberties as lubricant."

Sideshow looked over his shoulder.

Behind him stood a behemoth. An easily six and a half foot giant, with a penis the size of a summer sausage (image: http://sportsrapport.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/usingers-summer-sausage.jpg) and a man with more hair than a gorilla.

"You've grown, since last I saw you. Naked, I mean."

"Yeah. And you're going to taste my growth like a sunflower tastes photosynthesis, bitch."

Sideshow didnt understand a fucking word that the dribbling retard said, but he was excited anyways.

"Punish me, b4nny."

And punish he did.

Sideshow was whipped until his asscheeks were a strawberry-shortcake red. And he loved every single second of it.

"INSULT ME, B4NNY!" -Sideshow said, the pain overwhelming him with pleasure, adrenaline, fear, and everything in between.

"Bitch! Slut! Whore! Keep yelling, you jewish cock loving idiot!" each word encouraged Sideshow, and filled him with more and more satisfaction.

"STICK IT IN ME! PUMMEL ME WITH YOUR ROD OF LIGHTNING, YOUR SALAMI OF STRENGTH!"

B4nny violently threw himself at Sideshows raw, stinging, arab ass began fucking the puny man at warp speed. With each thrust, he simply grunted
Sideshow was much, much more passionate in his ability to verbally describe his lust.

"Give me your all, b4n man! Fuck me harder than how you fuck those brain dead pubbers!"

Each thrust, their grunts became louder. The two mens liquids of precum, spit, sweat and tears all intermingled to make the room smell suprisingly like the underside of a bench at a public gym.

Sideshow's tongue lolled out and his eyes glossed over. The only thing that existed in this world was penis, and butthole.

b4nny's thrust had been increasing in speed since he had started, and at this point, b4nny was moving faster than light. With the precision of a military sniper and the steady-ness of a bomb defusal expert, b4nny removed his wet, throbbing cock from the tight pound hole, and removed Sideshow's restraints

"Finish me off."

With that being said, Sideshow had seized the bottle of Baby oil that was beside him the entire time, teasing him with dreams of soft entry, and dumped half the bottle over his own chest and genitals and the other half on b4nnys.

He pushed b4nny onto the bed yet again, and laid over him, cock-to-cock.

Sideshow began rubbing his worm across the giant banana.

b4nny couldn't bear it for much longer, and Sideshow knew it too.
30
#30
3 Frags +

id like to thank http://www.teamfortress.tv/30052/the-sideshow-story this thread and https://web.archive.org/web/20151127044440/http://pastebin.com/EZq97ZQq for this masterpiece, thanks

id like to thank http://www.teamfortress.tv/30052/the-sideshow-story this thread and https://web.archive.org/web/20151127044440/http://pastebin.com/EZq97ZQq for this masterpiece, thanks
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