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unironic "how do i get a life?" thread
posted in Off Topic
1
#1
TFNew
0 Frags +

will try to keep it brief. kinda done with using tf2 to bury my depression. wanna actually start living again but dont know how or where to start (yes I know we're in the middle of a pandemic I mean more in general). I have no idea really what I want to work as or what I really enjoy doing. I have been out of school for ~3 years now and at this point have basically no irl friends (literally 1 person from school im still in contact with, I guess its a start). how do I start living tftv?

I know this might not be the best place to ask but I feel there are likely others here who can relate to letting tf2 distract them from their problems and losing everything irl because of it.

and to the people who will inevitably shitpost in this thread, please at least make your memes funny - im sure a good laugh is something we could all use right now :)

all advice appreciated, if anyone wants to talk to me directly I dont mind being dm'ed on discord JWB#6651

will try to keep it brief. kinda done with using tf2 to bury my depression. wanna actually start living again but dont know how or where to start (yes I know we're in the middle of a pandemic I mean more in general). I have no idea really what I want to work as or what I really enjoy doing. I have been out of school for ~3 years now and at this point have basically no irl friends (literally 1 person from school im still in contact with, I guess its a start). how do I start living tftv?

I know this might not be the best place to ask but I feel there are likely others here who can relate to letting tf2 distract them from their problems and losing everything irl because of it.

and to the people who will inevitably shitpost in this thread, please at least make your memes funny - im sure a good laugh is something we could all use right now :)

all advice appreciated, if anyone wants to talk to me directly I dont mind being dm'ed on discord JWB#6651
2
#2
22 Frags +

-start a sport with a club, best way to meet peoples with the same interest as you
-hike if you like it
-get a doggo (really helped me and she's my best friend ngl)
-go to pub with peoples you met through sport!

i mean i know it 's not that easy, but this is how I do have a social life

-start a sport with a club, best way to meet peoples with the same interest as you
-hike if you like it
-get a doggo (really helped me and she's my best friend ngl)
-go to pub with peoples you met through sport!

i mean i know it 's not that easy, but this is how I do have a social life
3
#3
26 Frags +

Start with fitness, its proven to help with depression, starting out it can cost you little and there's hundreds of ways you can keep yourself active and fit i.e. weightlifting, yoga, sports, walking

Focus on just keeping up a regular exercise schedule rather then doing it perfectly.

It leads into a lot of things too like joining clubs to socialise, boost your confidence and improve your overall health which no matter whats going on in your life can be something you said you did to better yourself than the previous day

Start with fitness, its proven to help with depression, starting out it can cost you little and there's hundreds of ways you can keep yourself active and fit i.e. weightlifting, yoga, sports, walking

Focus on just keeping up a regular exercise schedule rather then doing it perfectly.

It leads into a lot of things too like joining clubs to socialise, boost your confidence and improve your overall health which no matter whats going on in your life can be something you said you did to better yourself than the previous day
4
#4
21 Frags +
3006-hike if you like it

-work out
-wake up early even if you hate it

most of all is to do things you may not like, try out everything

[quote=3006]
-hike if you like it[/quote]
-work out
-wake up early even if you hate it

most of all is to do things you may not like, try out everything
5
#5
15 Frags +

Realising what the problem is and wanting to make changes is already a really big step towards improvement, you should be proud of that. I know exactly what you're going through and wish you all the best. Not gonna lie, it's a long journey and I hope you don't get discouraged by that. I don't wanna go too much into detail, so feel free to add me on Steam if you want to talk further.
People will name a lof of ways to get a life but to me two things were key: a strict regular schedule (going to bed and waking up at around the same time on weekdays) and getting a job or education that leads to employment. Working out has been great for me too but any hobby will do.

Realising what the problem is and wanting to make changes is already a really big step towards improvement, you should be proud of that. I know exactly what you're going through and wish you all the best. Not gonna lie, it's a long journey and I hope you don't get discouraged by that. I don't wanna go too much into detail, so feel free to add me on Steam if you want to talk further.
People will name a lof of ways to get a life but to me two things were key: a strict regular schedule (going to bed and waking up at around the same time on weekdays) and getting a job or education that leads to employment. Working out has been great for me too but any hobby will do.
6
#6
2 Frags +

+1 on the sports. I'm not a religious skater, but if there's one thing that's kept me going after all this time, it's that.

+1 on the sports. I'm not a religious skater, but if there's one thing that's kept me going after all this time, it's that.
7
#7
0 Frags +

Apart from obvious things like working out, watch some jocko willnik or any mans man YouTube vids and internalise that you are done being second rate

But nah4real in anything you are going to do just be consistent. That's the most important thing. Consistency in the face of adversary is what separates boys from men

TV shows and anime I recommend to build this get it done attitude: Peaky blinders, The punisher, monster, code geass, dragon ball z, attack on titan, naruto

Find your interests and stick to it. Also don't be afraid to cut loose sometimes and being alone isn't bad. I personally start to get drained when I'm around friends for too long, like I find reasons to be mad at them

Remember things from your childhood that brought you a lot of joy and try to go back and relive them(watch old cartoons and tv shows), its a good mental exercise imo and keeps you at a bliss state

Most importantly, be yourself. You are more unique than you think and don't be afraid to be weird or different, people are attracted to that kind of odd charisma. The drip comes from within dude, Good luck

Apart from obvious things like working out, watch some jocko willnik or any mans man YouTube vids and internalise that you are done being second rate

But nah4real in anything you are going to do just be consistent. That's the most important thing. Consistency in the face of adversary is what separates boys from men

TV shows and anime I recommend to build this get it done attitude: Peaky blinders, The punisher, monster, code geass, dragon ball z, attack on titan, naruto

Find your interests and stick to it. Also don't be afraid to cut loose sometimes and being alone isn't bad. I personally start to get drained when I'm around friends for too long, like I find reasons to be mad at them

Remember things from your childhood that brought you a lot of joy and try to go back and relive them(watch old cartoons and tv shows), its a good mental exercise imo and keeps you at a bliss state

Most importantly, be yourself. You are more unique than you think and don't be afraid to be weird or different, people are attracted to that kind of odd charisma. The drip comes from within dude, Good luck
8
#8
2 Frags +

Take cold showers

Take cold showers
9
#9
14 Frags +

few things that help with non-severe chemical imbalance depression are:

consistent sleep schedule
being a morning person
going for walks, having a routine.
fitness and diet have a huge impact on mental health

if you're wanting to make friends, clubs, sports, volunteering, etc. anything where you go out doing something you're passionate about and interacting with others who share your passion.

above all, if you're really in a dark spot, seek professional help. a forum for tf2 can only help out so much.

godspeed man, i know there are plenty of people here you can talk to if you need someone.

few things that help with non-severe chemical imbalance depression are:

consistent sleep schedule
being a morning person
going for walks, having a routine.
fitness and diet have a huge impact on mental health

if you're wanting to make friends, clubs, sports, volunteering, etc. anything where you go out doing something you're passionate about and interacting with others who share your passion.

above all, if you're really in a dark spot, seek professional help. a forum for tf2 can only help out so much.

godspeed man, i know there are plenty of people here you can talk to if you need someone.
10
#10
TFNew
4 Frags +

thanks to everyone for your input so far. will check back again tomorrow and maybe respond to some individual points. strong theme im getting so far is that working out/fitness is a good start which is something I already had in mind but thanks for reinforcing that idea. im a fat fuck so its probably a good start for both something to work on to feel a sense of achievement and also to improve my self esteem.

thanks to everyone for your input so far. will check back again tomorrow and maybe respond to some individual points. strong theme im getting so far is that working out/fitness is a good start which is something I already had in mind but thanks for reinforcing that idea. im a fat fuck so its probably a good start for both something to work on to feel a sense of achievement and also to improve my self esteem.
11
#11
8 Frags +

THE GYM
once you start getting buff you automatically just become mega confident in all situations.
once you get big you arent afraid of things things are afraid of you

THE GYM
once you start getting buff you automatically just become mega confident in all situations.
once you get big you arent afraid of things things are afraid of you
12
#12
-24 Frags +

play tf2 more its the only solution

play tf2 more its the only solution
13
#13
4 Frags +

pick up a hobby and then look for nearby clubs/communities focused around them (for example if you're into skateboard/bmx/scooter stuff go to a local skatepark, try to talk to people about literally anything)

good luck pal, keep trying and it'll click after a while

pick up a hobby and then look for nearby clubs/communities focused around them (for example if you're into skateboard/bmx/scooter stuff go to a local skatepark, try to talk to people about literally anything)

good luck pal, keep trying and it'll click after a while
14
#14
-3 Frags +

I’ve just enlisted in the Army Reserves and even though I haven’t gone through PRTC (initial training period), I’m honestly really enjoying it so far and definitely something I’d recommend to those looking for a challenge and of course a way to make friends.

I might regret this statement once I go to PRTC lmao....but you know...for now it’s fun

Could be an option

I’ve just enlisted in the Army Reserves and even though I haven’t gone through PRTC (initial training period), I’m honestly really enjoying it so far and definitely something I’d recommend to those looking for a challenge and of course a way to make friends.

I might regret this statement once I go to PRTC lmao....but you know...for now it’s fun

Could be an option
15
#15
3 Frags +

In terms of not knowing what you want to do, don't worry about that. Most people never know what they want to do as such and just move from thing to thing. I certainly do. Focus on your short term goals instead if you don't have a big plan - like I wanted to live abroad so I made it happen. Don't worry about the big picture of what you should be doing with your life or whatever. It will only make you anxious. Focusing on smaller things like getting fit, making friends, getting a job somewhere decent, etc. etc. will be better for you imo.

Obviously try and improve your useful skills and work in industries that are lucrative or you enjoy, but don't overly pressure yourself if you don't have a career path all figured out at whatever presumably young age you are.

On the friends thing, having hobbies that allow you to meet people is good. Once you're out of school it can be difficult to meet new friends - the key is to just get yourself out there and in situations where you can meet people. Get back in touch with people you used to know too. Could be a little awkward but if you have nothing to lose, so what?

In terms of not knowing what you want to do, don't worry about that. Most people never know what they want to do as such and just move from thing to thing. I certainly do. Focus on your short term goals instead if you don't have a big plan - like I wanted to live abroad so I made it happen. Don't worry about the big picture of what you should be doing with your life or whatever. It will only make you anxious. Focusing on smaller things like getting fit, making friends, getting a job somewhere decent, etc. etc. will be better for you imo.

Obviously try and improve your useful skills and work in industries that are lucrative or you enjoy, but don't overly pressure yourself if you don't have a career path all figured out at whatever presumably young age you are.

On the friends thing, having hobbies that allow you to meet people is good. Once you're out of school it can be difficult to meet new friends - the key is to just get yourself out there and in situations where you can meet people. Get back in touch with people you used to know too. Could be a little awkward but if you have nothing to lose, so what?
16
#16
32 Frags +

i would not actually recommend joining the army if youre "looking for a challenge and a way to make friends"

i would not actually recommend joining the army if youre "looking for a challenge and a way to make friends"
17
#17
0 Frags +

One thing that has helped me recently is having someone to hold me accountable for my actions. Whether that person is a therapist(highly recommend one), friend, or family its really helped me start some important habits.

One thing that has helped me recently is having someone to hold me accountable for my actions. Whether that person is a therapist(highly recommend one), friend, or family its really helped me start some important habits.
18
#18
1 Frags +

Yeah also, when I was not feeling ok, i would write a bunch of things to do during my day on a paper, and check them at the end of the day, kinda give you good vibes of accomplishment

any way, gl buddy, you'll get there don't you worry

Yeah also, when I was not feeling ok, i would write a bunch of things to do during my day on a paper, and check them at the end of the day, kinda give you good vibes of accomplishment

any way, gl buddy, you'll get there don't you worry
19
#19
0 Frags +

get a hobby other than gaming and jerking off
learn how to present yourself vocally and physically
have literally anything to talk about rather than meme shit, only losers communicate in memes
have a talent you can showcase and talk about that isn't talking about gaming or jerking off
if you don't have a talent, learn a skill that isn't related to gaming or jerking off

get a hobby other than gaming and jerking off
learn how to present yourself vocally and physically
have literally anything to talk about rather than meme shit, only losers communicate in memes
have a talent you can showcase and talk about that isn't talking about gaming or jerking off
if you don't have a talent, learn a skill that isn't related to gaming or jerking off
20
#20
4 Frags +

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snAhsXyO3Ck&feature=emb_logo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snAhsXyO3Ck&feature=emb_logo
21
#21
-2 Frags +

Game so bad rn even addicts quit lol

Game so bad rn even addicts quit lol
22
#22
TFNew
0 Frags +
yahooGame so bad rn even addicts quit lol

I was never addicted, I just used tf2 to distract me from my real life issues

[quote=yahoo]Game so bad rn even addicts quit lol[/quote]
I was never addicted, I just used tf2 to distract me from my real life issues
23
#23
0 Frags +

u just look at what someone you think is cool is on and then try to be on the same shit. its rooted in admiration.

i dont think throwing yourself at the gym is gonna help like a lot of people say. it would kind of be just like TF2 as in some sort of soulless, mindless activity that whilst will net you a better body, won’t do much else and you’ll probably get a man bun or some shit in the process.

but if your body is a concern then obv go do that, but u do have to have some kind of inclination to the shit youre spending your energy on otherwise you’ll be back to square one

things like eating healthily and having a clean environment are like factual things that would improve your situation but the activity youve got to decide for yourself who do you respect in the world and why and then how can you get there

for me its things like this m.youtube.com/watch?v=fdCQ5i_JmDI

u just look at what someone you think is cool is on and then try to be on the same shit. its rooted in admiration.

i dont think throwing yourself at the gym is gonna help like a lot of people say. it would kind of be just like TF2 as in some sort of soulless, mindless activity that whilst will net you a better body, won’t do much else and you’ll probably get a man bun or some shit in the process.

but if your body is a concern then obv go do that, but u do have to have some kind of inclination to the shit youre spending your energy on otherwise you’ll be back to square one

things like eating healthily and having a clean environment are like factual things that would improve your situation but the activity youve got to decide for yourself who do you respect in the world and why and then how can you get there

for me its things like this m.youtube.com/watch?v=fdCQ5i_JmDI
24
#24
5 Frags +

I see people posting sports clubs, if that’s not ur thing try tennis. Probably one of the easier sports to pick up and get okay at quickly and it’s hella hella fun to practice (hitting against a wall is just pure satisfaction when ur Strokes r Nice). but if sports r just not U pick up a game with locals wether it be a fighting game with a scene like smash or sf4/tekken or maybe a card game if ur not about that like MtG or something, anything with avenues to events with like minded people.
+1 any exercise posts
+1 sleep schedule posts
+1 diet and hydration posts
those things probably matter more for mental health than like anything else
also download tinder and make sure u take some decent pics, having at least 1 with some other ppl is probably a must tho if ur straight, (most) girls do Not match with me and idk if it’s bcus my profile is Fruity or mayb bcus I have no @ a party w friends pics (genuinely i think that might b a large factor for some reason, prolly bcus most profiles hav at least 1 group pic)
also try other dating apps if ur straight and tinder doesn’t work out well, I heard ppl have better luck finding actual dates on hinge/bumble but I hav no exp, my current bf is from tinder and I am blessed for it ! u mite find someone you really like if u put urself out there : )

I see people posting sports clubs, if that’s not ur thing try tennis. Probably one of the easier sports to pick up and get okay at quickly and it’s hella hella fun to practice (hitting against a wall is just pure satisfaction when ur Strokes r Nice). but if sports r just not U pick up a game with locals wether it be a fighting game with a scene like smash or sf4/tekken or maybe a card game if ur not about that like MtG or something, anything with avenues to events with like minded people.
+1 any exercise posts
+1 sleep schedule posts
+1 diet and hydration posts
those things probably matter more for mental health than like anything else
also download tinder and make sure u take some decent pics, having at least 1 with some other ppl is probably a must tho if ur straight, (most) girls do Not match with me and idk if it’s bcus my profile is Fruity or mayb bcus I have no @ a party w friends pics (genuinely i think that might b a large factor for some reason, prolly bcus most profiles hav at least 1 group pic)
also try other dating apps if ur straight and tinder doesn’t work out well, I heard ppl have better luck finding actual dates on hinge/bumble but I hav no exp, my current bf is from tinder and I am blessed for it ! u mite find someone you really like if u put urself out there : )
25
#25
1 Frags +

Work on self-improvement. Friends are gonna let you down, in the end you only got yourself. Stay strong and motivated and you will come to find your true purpose in life, whatever that may be. Try new things.

Work on self-improvement. Friends are gonna let you down, in the end you only got yourself. Stay strong and motivated and you will come to find your true purpose in life, whatever that may be. Try new things.
26
#26
1 Frags +

Hey man, hope you're doing alright. There's no cut and dry answer for this type of thing, at some point the only way to make a change is active effort that starts with you. You have to want it and be good enough to yourself to stick with it and not let yourself slump into familiar habits. Try structuring your schedule and and really pushing yourself to stick to it until you develop a routine, such as when you sleep or make a point to go outside each day. I echo what others said in here regarding intramural sports being the best type of social club when you're not in school, I know I ended up trying a few before settling on krav maga but I know a lot of folks try ultimate frisbee or hiking for easy entry. The biggest thing is picking something with a relatively set schedule where you can expect to see the same social group each time, rather than something you have to push yourself to do on your own time (i.e. starting a gym routine, which is solid for structure but not so much socially). Do you play any instruments? Community music groups or even taking lessons are something else that can be fun. What about bar trivia, board game groups, or perhaps hobby groups? For me personally, I had to scale away from TF2 in order to truly be able to invest myself in other things, as the scene/grind to get better were hard for me to separate from and balance while attempting to do other parts of my life. Not everyone is like that of course, since you can absolutely balance both aspects of your life if you're disciplined. Just know that others have been in your shoes before and you're definitely not alone. Best of luck, you got this.

Hey man, hope you're doing alright. There's no cut and dry answer for this type of thing, at some point the only way to make a change is active effort that starts with you. You have to want it and be good enough to yourself to stick with it and not let yourself slump into familiar habits. Try structuring your schedule and and really pushing yourself to stick to it until you develop a routine, such as when you sleep or make a point to go outside each day. I echo what others said in here regarding intramural sports being the best type of social club when you're not in school, I know I ended up trying a few before settling on krav maga but I know a lot of folks try ultimate frisbee or hiking for easy entry. The biggest thing is picking something with a relatively set schedule where you can expect to see the same social group each time, rather than something you have to push yourself to do on your own time (i.e. starting a gym routine, which is solid for structure but not so much socially). Do you play any instruments? Community music groups or even taking lessons are something else that can be fun. What about bar trivia, board game groups, or perhaps hobby groups? For me personally, I had to scale away from TF2 in order to truly be able to invest myself in other things, as the scene/grind to get better were hard for me to separate from and balance while attempting to do other parts of my life. Not everyone is like that of course, since you can absolutely balance both aspects of your life if you're disciplined. Just know that others have been in your shoes before and you're definitely not alone. Best of luck, you got this.
27
#27
1 Frags +

alot of these tips are good but they won't do anything if you do even know who you are first. Starting with learning about who you are TRULY and what you love to do every day in life. Whatever it is that you find utter joy in, make that your passion in life. Make the thing you love most the reason why you want to wake up every day. Also don't live a life that's stuck in the past or dwelling on the future, they literally don't exist. A great quote-"Yesterday's the past, tomorrow's the future, but today is a gift. That's why it's called the present". Live life in the current moment and focus on every small decision you make, try to make every second of your life count towards something better. Let troublesome thoughts and emotions come and go, it can be very easy to get caught up in what your mind is thinking and believing that you are your mind. You must realize that you're not the voice in your head who has all the doubts and evil thoughts, but you're a conscious being and never forget that. this is all really deep and hard to explain in a tftv post but I hope you can understand.

alot of these tips are good but they won't do anything if you do even know who you are first. Starting with learning about who you are TRULY and what you love to do every day in life. Whatever it is that you find utter joy in, make that your passion in life. Make the thing you love most the reason why you want to wake up every day. Also don't live a life that's stuck in the past or dwelling on the future, they literally don't exist. A great quote-"Yesterday's the past, tomorrow's the future, but today is a gift. That's why it's called the present". Live life in the current moment and focus on every small decision you make, try to make every second of your life count towards something better. Let troublesome thoughts and emotions come and go, it can be very easy to get caught up in what your mind is thinking and believing that you are your mind. You must realize that you're not the voice in your head who has all the doubts and evil thoughts, but you're a conscious being and never forget that. this is all really deep and hard to explain in a tftv post but I hope you can understand.
28
#28
-8 Frags +

I just got the highest paying occupation I could.
I made 13k today (it was a good day).
If you're gonna be depressed with incurable social anxiety, might as well be rich asf.

I just got the highest paying occupation I could.
I made 13k today (it was a good day).
If you're gonna be depressed with incurable social anxiety, might as well be rich asf.
29
#29
1 Frags +

You're out of school, I assume high school? That's already a start.

When it comes to work and enjoyable hobbies, there's two main ways to look at it: You enjoy your work, and thus your enjoyment/employment supplements your living, or you work in order to supplement your hobbies and living.

Were you part of any clubs throughout school, or part of any extra-curricular clubs or activities?

Since leaving school and aging out of some programs, I've tried my best to keep those activities going in some capacity. As part of combating depression, I set the rule that I cannot, unless absolutely necessary, skip a meeting/rehearsal/you name it. Not having this stuff during the pandemic has made staying afloat and keeping track so much more difficult.

When it comes to work, and a more long-term arrangement, don't get yourself hung up too much over deciding ONE career path. It is possible to change jobs and careers, it's also possible to do some post secondary schooling now, and some later. The question I personally asked myself was, what are some jobs I could do now that would get me a start in the working world?

You're out of school, I assume high school? That's already a start.

When it comes to work and enjoyable hobbies, there's two main ways to look at it: You enjoy your work, and thus your enjoyment/employment supplements your living, or you work in order to supplement your hobbies and living.

Were you part of any clubs throughout school, or part of any extra-curricular clubs or activities?

Since leaving school and aging out of some programs, I've tried my best to keep those activities going in some capacity. As part of combating depression, I set the rule that I cannot, unless absolutely necessary, skip a meeting/rehearsal/you name it. Not having this stuff during the pandemic has made staying afloat and keeping track so much more difficult.

When it comes to work, and a more long-term arrangement, don't get yourself hung up too much over deciding ONE career path. It is possible to change jobs and careers, it's also possible to do some post secondary schooling now, and some later. The question I personally asked myself was, what are some jobs I could do now that would get me a start in the working world?
30
#30
1 Frags +
wonderlandI just got the highest paying occupation I could.
I made 13k today (it was a good day).
If you're gonna be depressed with incurable social anxiety, might as well be rich asf.

can i hold a 20 bro

[quote=wonderland]I just got the highest paying occupation I could.
I made 13k today (it was a good day).
If you're gonna be depressed with incurable social anxiety, might as well be rich asf.[/quote]
can i hold a 20 bro
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