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girl advice
posted in Off Topic
31
#31
8 Frags +
phobiadon't date dude, all it does is take up your free time and you won't ever get to do anything by yourself, i'm dating a girl right now and i'm fucking miserable because i never get to be by myself, all we ever do is just sit and watch shit all day and never actually do anything

You got your girl by opening your mouth and speaking to her; don’t forget step one then. All you need to do is talk to her about your personal needs. If that becomes a problem then you guys handle it accordingly whatever the outcome may be, but don’t just kill yourself internally just to please her that will NEVER work. Dating is really just a mutual agreement and understanding; its never perfect but its nice when both parties are on the same wavelength

[quote=phobia]don't date dude, all it does is take up your free time and you won't ever get to do anything by yourself, i'm dating a girl right now and i'm fucking miserable because i never get to be by myself, all we ever do is just sit and watch shit all day and never actually do anything[/quote]
You got your girl by opening your mouth and speaking to her; don’t forget step one then. All you need to do is talk to her about your personal needs. If that becomes a problem then you guys handle it accordingly whatever the outcome may be, but don’t just kill yourself internally just to please her that will NEVER work. Dating is really just a mutual agreement and understanding; its never perfect but its nice when both parties are on the same wavelength
32
#32
80 Frags +

https://i.imgur.com/II2d3Yt.png

[img]https://i.imgur.com/II2d3Yt.png[/img]
33
#33
5 Frags +

show her your frag video

show her your frag video
34
#34
19 Frags +

I know this is kind of a meme thread, but these are some things that I wish that I'd known a few years ago.

Just be yourself isn't good advice, since you're not answering the question about how to act, and just reflecting it back. And if you're truly being yourself chances are you're stressed about it and would rather be at home playing videogames anyway.

What People mean with this advice is don't try to be someone that you're not, and try to have fun. And while it's true that lying about yourself is a bad idea, you definitely need to advertise yourself. It is simular to a job intervieuw in a sense. You want to present the absolute best version of yourself. Showing your ugly side is something for later in the relationship.

If you're going out with a stranger, or someone that you don't know well. You want to go for something conventional and low-risk (dinner, walk in the park, movie, whatever). Most importantly, you need some sort of activety to occupy both of you when the conversation eventually slows down. Sitting there akwardly trying to come up with shit to say is the worst and it will happen on every date. My favorite is board games, I once played 3 games of chess with a girl after we had dinner at my place. Also both of you need stay sober. Drinking a glass or two is fine, but getting drunk on a first date with a stranger is a big mistake (and a huge turnoff).

If you start to date a girl that you've known for a while however, other rules apply. This time you want to involve alcohol or some other light drug. Because both of your sober personalities will be old news, and not interesting enough to carry a conversation. You also need to be more creative in picking a location, to signal that you know a bit about her at least. If she's a dancer, go watch a performance together ect. My best example for this would be a first date in an indoor climbing centre. She spent the whole date teaching me the basics. But that's not something you would do with a stranger.

As far as the bill is concerned. Whoever took initiative and asked the other person out or picked the place should offer to pay. Usually that's me and it often ends in some sort of split (not always 50/50).

Hopefully someone found this usefull.

I know this is kind of a meme thread, but these are some things that I wish that I'd known a few years ago.

Just be yourself isn't good advice, since you're not answering the question about how to act, and just reflecting it back. And if you're truly being yourself chances are you're stressed about it and would rather be at home playing videogames anyway.

What People mean with this advice is don't try to be someone that you're not, and try to have fun. And while it's true that lying about yourself is a bad idea, you definitely need to advertise yourself. It is simular to a job intervieuw in a sense. You want to present the absolute best version of yourself. Showing your ugly side is something for later in the relationship.

If you're going out with a stranger, or someone that you don't know well. You want to go for something conventional and low-risk (dinner, walk in the park, movie, whatever). Most importantly, you need some sort of activety to occupy both of you when the conversation eventually slows down. Sitting there akwardly trying to come up with shit to say is the worst and it will happen on every date. My favorite is board games, I once played 3 games of chess with a girl after we had dinner at my place. Also both of you need stay sober. Drinking a glass or two is fine, but getting drunk on a first date with a stranger is a big mistake (and a huge turnoff).

If you start to date a girl that you've known for a while however, other rules apply. This time you want to involve alcohol or some other light drug. Because both of your sober personalities will be old news, and not interesting enough to carry a conversation. You also need to be more creative in picking a location, to signal that you know a bit about her at least. If she's a dancer, go watch a performance together ect. My best example for this would be a first date in an indoor climbing centre. She spent the whole date teaching me the basics. But that's not something you would do with a stranger.

As far as the bill is concerned. Whoever took initiative and asked the other person out or picked the place should offer to pay. Usually that's me and it often ends in some sort of split (not always 50/50).

Hopefully someone found this usefull.
35
#35
0 Frags +
chunkeyyyDwapking

Spot on

It's important to be true enough to yourself because false advertising will always lead to blowback. Whether it's their disappointment (in a number of things like their perception of you and your morals for not telling the complete truth, or simply not getting what they were told they'd get) or even worse, incompatibilities that lead to break-ups. Sometimes you don't know as much about yourself and your aim in life as you should and you end up creating these incompatibilities yourself after you correct course. Life has a funny way of always punishing misbehavior, it'll catch up to you. So do some soul searching before ramifications are too big. If you already know yourself be yourself, because you want someone who wants you for you.

[quote=chunkeyyy][/quote]
[quote=Dwapking][/quote]
Spot on

It's important to be true enough to yourself because false advertising will always lead to blowback. Whether it's their disappointment (in a number of things like their perception of you and your morals for not telling the complete truth, or simply not getting what they were told they'd get) or even worse, incompatibilities that lead to break-ups. Sometimes you don't know as much about yourself and your aim in life as you should and you end up creating these incompatibilities yourself after you correct course. Life has a funny way of always punishing misbehavior, it'll catch up to you. So do some soul searching before ramifications are too big. If you already know yourself be yourself, because you want someone who wants you for you.
36
#36
5 Frags +

I think dinner is a shit first date though Dwapking.

Watching people eat isn't attractive and you have a big gap you have to fill with conversation while you wait for food. If this guy is not so confident then maybe drinks or going out to some event (like a fair or market or whatever) is better. Plus it's easier to cut the date short if it's a car crash rather than having to wait for the bill.

I think dinner is a shit first date though Dwapking.

Watching people eat isn't attractive and you have a big gap you have to fill with conversation while you wait for food. If this guy is not so confident then maybe drinks or going out to some event (like a fair or market or whatever) is better. Plus it's easier to cut the date short if it's a car crash rather than having to wait for the bill.
37
#37
44 Frags +
dev-ask hamaham

do NOT ask me! i can not tell you what to do, only what NOT to do
here's a few examples

  • do NOT insult their music taste the first thing you do, they get upset.
  • do NOT respond with "nah it's fine i can suck my own lol" if they ask to suck your dick seriously i can not stress this one enough
  • do NOT tell them that you would stomp on baby yoda until he is a little green stain under the sole of your boot

my current strategy is asking each girl i match with to suffocate me between her thighs until i die and needless to say it's not working at all but i'm not letting it stop me, usually they unmatch with me but at best they ignore me

[quote=dev-]ask hamaham[/quote]
do NOT ask me! i can not tell you what to do, only what NOT to do
here's a few examples
[list]
[*] do NOT insult their music taste the first thing you do, they get upset.
[*] do NOT respond with "nah it's fine i can suck my own lol" if they ask to suck your dick seriously i can not stress this one enough
[*] do NOT tell them that you would stomp on baby yoda until he is a little green stain under the sole of your boot
[/list]
my current strategy is asking each girl i match with to suffocate me between her thighs until i die and needless to say it's not working at all but i'm not letting it stop me, usually they unmatch with me but at best they ignore me
38
#38
7 Frags +

Dinner can be hit or miss especially if it's the first date and can come off heavy with a lot of expectations, would recommend something that is a bit more casual (though I don't know how old you are and what the food scene is like where you live) like a small cafe to get coffee and a snack, ice cream and a walk, or even just a chill weekend brunch, basically something easy enough that you can talk and get to know the other person. Agree with the others that say having some activity to do or be around may help if the conversation tapers off.

Dinner can be hit or miss especially if it's the first date and can come off heavy with a lot of expectations, would recommend something that is a bit more casual (though I don't know how old you are and what the food scene is like where you live) like a small cafe to get coffee and a snack, ice cream and a walk, or even just a chill weekend brunch, basically something easy enough that you can talk and get to know the other person. Agree with the others that say having some activity to do or be around may help if the conversation tapers off.
39
#39
-4 Frags +

ignore what i said at the page before i just wanted to get that off my chest.

I'd say just go for it

ignore what i said at the page before i just wanted to get that off my chest.

I'd say just go for it
40
#40
11 Frags +

Feed her a whole bag of grapes and goat milk.

Feed her a whole bag of grapes and goat milk.
41
#41
-4 Frags +

wait is this a serious thread? w/e

try to let her subtly know that you're into her, and if she gives signs back that she likes you too then ask her out

wait is this a serious thread? w/e

try to let her subtly know that you're into her, and if she gives signs back that she likes you too then ask her out
42
#42
13 Frags +

fuck her right in the pussy

fuck her right in the pussy
43
#43
5 Frags +

I'll try to be generally helpful but like keep in mind girls are people and we're all unique! there isn't like a sure fire way to win someone over, because life isn't a movie. but i will try my best to give some advice!

be confident and the only way you'll ever be consistently confident is if you're true to who you are

it's so hard and exhausting to fake it. find what makes you interesting and charming as a person and show those traits confidently.

and like please ask her out if you see that it seems to be going well in your conversations. the worst thing that will happen is a no and you will get on with your life!

for a date, think about your mutual interests and make the activity and place thoughtful which has a chance for you to connect and highlight that connection/get to know each other. (dont invite her to a knife convention when you really wanna go but she has never expressed interest in knives) make sure it's in a public, well known place though especially for the first dates.

as for how you can ask, it depends on the thing you choose. if it's a special event, let her know there's something you're going to and wanted to know if she wanted to come. if not, think of some "reason" for you to go anyways that she'll enjoy too (like i heard this place had X and it was really good). i very mich prefer being presented a time and place confidently please don't think about that stuff on the spot. if the time doesn't work for me I'll say and suggest a different time. but like if she just says she is busy she might be trying to tell you no in a nice way so please don't be pushy about alternatives.

and like, just whenever/wherever you talk to her normally and it's a good time and place to talk, ask. please dont impose yourself physically or force her into some really uncomfortable position like against a wall. it's really nerve wracking and almost a red flag. just be nice, confident and respectful and make sure it is pretty chill where you are, don't ask in places where there's lots of noise or a crowd of people around you. that sounds obvious but it's happened aaa.

well i hope that helps a bit, sorry ir it's not organized and stuff

I'll try to be generally helpful but like keep in mind girls are people and we're all unique! there isn't like a sure fire way to win someone over, because life isn't a movie. but i will try my best to give some advice!

be confident and the only way you'll ever be consistently confident is if you're true to who you are

it's so hard and exhausting to fake it. find what makes you interesting and charming as a person and show those traits confidently.

and like please ask her out if you see that it seems to be going well in your conversations. the worst thing that will happen is a no and you will get on with your life!

for a date, think about your mutual interests and make the activity and place thoughtful which has a chance for you to connect and highlight that connection/get to know each other. (dont invite her to a knife convention when you really wanna go but she has never expressed interest in knives) make sure it's in a public, well known place though especially for the first dates.

as for how you can ask, it depends on the thing you choose. if it's a special event, let her know there's something you're going to and wanted to know if she wanted to come. if not, think of some "reason" for you to go anyways that she'll enjoy too (like i heard this place had X and it was really good). i very mich prefer being presented a time and place confidently please don't think about that stuff on the spot. if the time doesn't work for me I'll say and suggest a different time. but like if she just says she is busy she might be trying to tell you no in a nice way so please don't be pushy about alternatives.

and like, just whenever/wherever you talk to her normally and it's a good time and place to talk, ask. please dont impose yourself physically or force her into some really uncomfortable position like against a wall. it's really nerve wracking and almost a red flag. just be nice, confident and respectful and make sure it is pretty chill where you are, don't ask in places where there's lots of noise or a crowd of people around you. that sounds obvious but it's happened aaa.

well i hope that helps a bit, sorry ir it's not organized and stuff
44
#44
-1 Frags +

Noticed this thread and thought I'd throw my 2 cents in on a couple things mastercom said.

mastercomsif she just says she is busy she might be trying to tell you no in a nice way so please don't be pushy about alternatives.

If you're the kind of person that will just rethink this over and over In this case I'd recommend asking if she was just trying to be nice and if she's just not interested. Say goodbye, and leave them alone if they're not interested.

Generic and admittedly rather blunt response example:
You: Is there another time/day that you would be available, or are you just trying to say no nicely?
Them: I'm not interested, sorry. / I'm already with someone else.
You: Thank you for being honest, have a good day/night. and If applicable you could end with "See you in class tomorrow." or "See you at work next week."

At this point walk away, don't sulk, try looking on the bright side you just approached someone and asked them out and even if rejected that's still a small victory.

In most cases you really don't want to make a significant conversation after this as it'll just be creepy and or awkward for both of you. That being said this isn't 100% true for everyone but odds are if you're asking/looking for this advice you should probably get out of the conversation sooner rather than later. This is also assuming you don't know this person all that well to begin with.

If this is someone you run into regularly via work/school or they live right next to you just treat them like you would any other random person you kinda know and think is an ok or decent person.

mastercomsplease dont impose yourself physically or force her into some really uncomfortable position like against a wall. it's really nerve wracking and almost a red flag.

I would say that's definitely a red flag unless it was done to prevent serious bodily harm...

@op and tbh most US guys in general

A large percentage of women in the US have been a victim of some form of abuse (sexual or otherwise). Early on in a relationship the last thing you would want to do is trigger (even accidentally) memories of said abuse and have them be associated to you in anyway. Unfortunately you can't know what all those triggers are (unless they tell you). However you can mitigate a lot of common ones. Don't grab wrists/shoulders, in general avoid grabbing unless you absolutely have to (ex. preventing them from getting hit by a car) or they make it abundantly clear they want you too. Don't position yourself between them and easy exits. Avoid using an angry tone if at all possible. Stay sober, 1 or 2 drinks is probably fine but that's it. After a date offer a ride/walk home (or to their car) if they refuse do not ask again.

Noticed this thread and thought I'd throw my 2 cents in on a couple things mastercom said.

[quote=mastercoms]if she just says she is busy she might be trying to tell you no in a nice way so please don't be pushy about alternatives.[/quote]

If you're the kind of person that will just rethink this over and over In this case I'd recommend asking if she was just trying to be nice and if she's just not interested. Say goodbye, and leave them alone if they're not interested.

Generic and admittedly rather blunt response example:
You: Is there another time/day that you would be available, or are you just trying to say no nicely?
Them: I'm not interested, sorry. / I'm already with someone else.
You: Thank you for being honest, have a good day/night. [i]and If applicable you could end with[/i] "See you in class tomorrow." or "See you at work next week."

At this point walk away, don't sulk, try looking on the bright side you just approached someone and asked them out and even if rejected that's still a small victory.

In most cases you really don't want to make a significant conversation after this as it'll just be creepy and or awkward for both of you. That being said this isn't 100% true for everyone but odds are if you're asking/looking for this advice you should probably get out of the conversation sooner rather than later. This is also assuming you don't know this person all that well to begin with.

If this is someone you run into regularly via work/school or they live right next to you just treat them like you would any other random person you kinda know and think is an ok or decent person.

[quote=mastercoms]please dont impose yourself physically or force her into some really uncomfortable position like against a wall. it's really nerve wracking and almost a red flag.[/quote]

I would say that's definitely a red flag unless it was done to prevent serious bodily harm...

@op and tbh most US guys in general

A large percentage of women in the US have been a victim of some form of abuse (sexual or otherwise). Early on in a relationship the last thing you would want to do is trigger (even accidentally) memories of said abuse and have them be associated to you in anyway. Unfortunately you can't know what all those triggers are (unless they tell you). However you can mitigate a lot of common ones. Don't grab wrists/shoulders, in general avoid grabbing unless you absolutely have to (ex. preventing them from getting hit by a car) or they make it abundantly clear they want you too. Don't position yourself between them and easy exits. Avoid using an angry tone if at all possible. Stay sober, 1 or 2 drinks is probably fine but that's it. After a date offer a ride/walk home (or to their car) if they refuse do not ask again.
45
#45
4 Frags +

Also if a girl doesn't respond to you don't message her repeatedly until she responds, big serial killer/annoying as fk red flag. But just be yourself and learn from your mistakes??

If you want the Australian way of things you ask the shiela out for a parma, sink a few tinnies and then shoot the words "wanna root?". Optional Maccas run can be incorporated.

Also if a girl doesn't respond to you don't message her repeatedly until she responds, big serial killer/annoying as fk red flag. But just be yourself and learn from your mistakes??

If you want the Australian way of things you ask the shiela out for a parma, sink a few tinnies and then shoot the words "wanna root?". Optional Maccas run can be incorporated.
46
#46
13 Frags +

Do you guys think it's okay to ask out someone you just met? Like, you met someone for the first time and you have a really good convo, would it be a good idea to bookend the convo with asking the girl out on a date? I get this feeling that you should only really ask someone you're already fairly acquainted with out on dates, but maybe it's just me?

Also

EncreIf you want the Australian way of things you ask the shiela out for a parma, sink a few tinnies and then shoot the words "wanna root?". Optional Maccas run can be incorporated.

What the fuck does this entire sentence mean?

Do you guys think it's okay to ask out someone you just met? Like, you met someone for the first time and you have a really good convo, would it be a good idea to bookend the convo with asking the girl out on a date? I get this feeling that you should only really ask someone you're already fairly acquainted with out on dates, but maybe it's just me?

Also
[quote=Encre]If you want the Australian way of things you ask the shiela out for a parma, sink a few tinnies and then shoot the words "wanna root?". Optional Maccas run can be incorporated.[/quote]
What the fuck does this entire sentence mean?
47
#47
2 Frags +
SnackDo you guys think it's okay to ask out someone you just met? Like, you met someone for the first time and you have a really good convo, would it be a good idea to bookend the convo with asking the girl out on a date? I get this feeling that you should only really ask someone you're already fairly acquainted with out on dates, but maybe it's just me?

the best relationships grow out of great friendships because romance is only the final step in a relationship, there are other parts to it

[quote=Snack]Do you guys think it's okay to ask out someone you just met? Like, you met someone for the first time and you have a really good convo, would it be a good idea to bookend the convo with asking the girl out on a date? I get this feeling that you should only really ask someone you're already fairly acquainted with out on dates, but maybe it's just me?[/quote]
the best relationships grow out of great friendships because romance is only the final step in a relationship, there are other parts to it
48
#48
-1 Frags +

Why don't girls like to talk about basketball

Why don't girls like to talk about basketball
49
#49
-3 Frags +

guys this was a mistake....

guys this was a mistake....
50
#50
14 Frags +

The key for dating in general is to not ask someone out because you're lonely and lack self-confidence and think a relationship will somehow fix all that. You ask them out because you think they'll be an interesting person to know and because it's someone that would make you happy to share things in your life with.... Which does mean that you need to have a life to share.

SnackDo you guys think it's okay to ask out someone you just met? Like, you met someone for the first time and you have a really good convo, would it be a good idea to bookend the convo with asking the girl out on a date? I get this feeling that you should only really ask someone you're already fairly acquainted with out on dates, but maybe it's just me?

I asked a dude out after meeting him on the same day. Granted it wasn't a total stranger, he was a mutual friend of a group of friends of mine, but I still only knew his name and whatever casual conversations (plus the one time I chased him with a ladle) we had that night.

It's our 10th anniversary in a couple days, so I'd say it can work out.

The key for dating in general is to not ask someone out because you're lonely and lack self-confidence and think a relationship will somehow fix all that. You ask them out because you think they'll be an interesting person to know and because it's someone that would make you happy to share things in your life with.... Which does mean that you need to have a life to share.

[quote=Snack]Do you guys think it's okay to ask out someone you just met? Like, you met someone for the first time and you have a really good convo, would it be a good idea to bookend the convo with asking the girl out on a date? I get this feeling that you should only really ask someone you're already fairly acquainted with out on dates, but maybe it's just me?[/quote]

I asked a dude out after meeting him on the same day. Granted it wasn't a total stranger, he was a mutual friend of a group of friends of mine, but I still only knew his name and whatever casual conversations (plus the one time I chased him with a ladle) we had that night.

It's our 10th anniversary in a couple days, so I'd say it can work out.
51
#51
-2 Frags +

Also just fucking ask if she wants to go do something, christ, this isn't rocket science, odds are if she's talking to you she likes you, just ask if she wants to get coffee or see a movie or something. Motherfuckers posting like they're about to write a pickup artist book, smh.

Also just fucking ask if she wants to go do something, christ, this isn't rocket science, odds are if she's talking to you she likes you, just ask if she wants to get coffee or see a movie or something. Motherfuckers posting like they're about to write a pickup artist book, smh.
52
#52
-7 Frags +
Phlashataodds are if she's talking to you she likes you

How do you, in an era of bi-daily cre-8 threads and posts, manage to sound like the most naive person on this site right now?

[quote=Phlashata]odds are if she's talking to you she likes you[/quote]

How do you, in an era of bi-daily cre-8 threads and posts, manage to sound like the most naive person on this site right now?
53
#53
2 Frags +

uno i feel its only been a day or 2 since people have rly been going onto cre8 but it gets rly annoying to read about people complaining about this kid on every thread

like gj u sure got the 14 yr old downy nice

https://s3.amazonaws.com/pix.iemoji.com/images/emoji/apple/ios-12/256/thumbs-up.png

uno i feel its only been a day or 2 since people have rly been going onto cre8 but it gets rly annoying to read about people complaining about this kid on every thread

like gj u sure got the 14 yr old downy nice [img]https://s3.amazonaws.com/pix.iemoji.com/images/emoji/apple/ios-12/256/thumbs-up.png[/img]
54
#54
2 Frags +

lol @ going to dinner for 1st date

lol @ going to dinner for 1st date
55
#55
-3 Frags +

where I live a lot of people just drive around and chill on ‘first dates’, maybe pick up some food or explore some nature spots. imo the more casual the better but then again I’ve never been in a relationship lol!

where I live a lot of people just drive around and chill on ‘first dates’, maybe pick up some food or explore some nature spots. imo the more casual the better but then again I’ve never been in a relationship lol!
56
#56
-1 Frags +
SnackPhlashataodds are if she's talking to you she likes you
How do you, in an era of bi-daily cre-8 threads and posts, manage to sound like the most naive person on this site right now?

people dont usually spend time with or even talk to others they dont like(unless forced to) thas just how life is man

[quote=Snack][quote=Phlashata]odds are if she's talking to you she likes you[/quote]

How do you, in an era of bi-daily cre-8 threads and posts, manage to sound like the most naive person on this site right now?[/quote]
people dont usually spend time with or even talk to others they dont like(unless forced to) thas just how life is man
57
#57
-3 Frags +
torrit3SnackPhlashataodds are if she's talking to you she likes you
How do you, in an era of bi-daily cre-8 threads and posts, manage to sound like the most naive person on this site right now?
people dont usually spend time with or even talk to others they dont like(unless forced to) thas just how life is man

retail staff????? guarantee that's a large majority of who tftv users talk to on a regular basis

[quote=torrit3][quote=Snack][quote=Phlashata]odds are if she's talking to you she likes you[/quote]

How do you, in an era of bi-daily cre-8 threads and posts, manage to sound like the most naive person on this site right now?[/quote]
people dont usually spend time with or even talk to others they dont like(unless forced to) thas just how life is man[/quote]

retail staff????? guarantee that's a large majority of who tftv users talk to on a regular basis
58
#58
-3 Frags +

play io and tp them into enemy fountain

play io and tp them into enemy fountain
59
#59
4 Frags +
hamahamdev-ask hamaham
  • do NOT respond with "nah it's fine i can suck my own lol" if they ask to suck your dick seriously i can not stress this one enough

absurd how female gymnasts win medals and astound crowds while male gymnasts like me get rejected BECAUSE of our flexibility

[quote=hamaham][quote=dev-]ask hamaham[/quote]
[list]
[*] do NOT respond with "nah it's fine i can suck my own lol" if they ask to suck your dick seriously i can not stress this one enough
[/list]
[/quote]

absurd how female gymnasts win medals and astound crowds while male gymnasts like me get rejected BECAUSE of our flexibility
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