Comanglia
Account Details
SteamID64 76561198004663727
SteamID3 [U:1:44397999]
SteamID32 STEAM_0:1:22198999
Country United States
Signed Up August 19, 2012
Last Posted February 20, 2020 at 4:44 PM
Posts 1918 (0.7 per day)
Game Settings
In-game Sensitivity 1.7
Windows Sensitivity
Raw Input 1
DPI
780 (850 in Drivers)
Resolution
1920x1080
Refresh Rate
1000Hz Mouse
Hardware Peripherals
Mouse Logitech G MX518 (hero sensor)
Keyboard Logitech G Pro
Mousepad Zowie G-SR-SE (Red)
Headphones Beyerdynamic DT770 Pro 80Ohm
Monitor BenQ XL2540 @240Hz
1 2 3 4 ⋅⋅ 128
#2 Top 10 TF2 plays - December 2019 in Videos

Biggest trickstab I've ever seen? No, but it's actually pretty close.
https://youtu.be/MSTwzKz5MUc?t=573

posted 4 months ago
#4 202020 in World Events
CondoM200220?

No. 20022020

posted 4 months ago
#27 Mexico takes title of "most obese" from America in World Events
BarryChuckleThings America is the best at:

Freedom
Standard of living
Democracy
Obesity
Basketball
Movies
Mass shootings
American Football
Mass incarceration
TF2
Baseball
Homelessness
Bloated military budget

...What's next to go?

Can we really say that America is best at baseball? Japan has some pretty insane teams/players not to mention all the great players from the Caribbean and Venezuela.

Actually looking it up it seems like Japan has the US beat for both Women's and Men's Baseball as well as Men's softball, and the runner up behind the US for Women's softball.
https://rankings.wbsc.org/

posted 4 months ago
#13 good pc bad fps in Q/A Help
kimHey, so i just replaced an old potato desktop with a laptop and here are the specs :
Intel i7 4810MQ
16gb ram
Intel HD 4600 + NVIDIA QUADRO K2100m(2gb)
60hz monitor
kimin game max temps are :
Core0: 98°C
Core1 :91°C
Core2 :90°C

Core3 :76°C
I thought 98 was too much until i made research and found that i7 4thgen MQ can go max 100 on laptops and is normal

Highlighted some problems for you.

The explanation

Laptops inherently run hot and slower largely due to the extra heat. The primary issue is that a laptop can't dissipate that heat as fast as a desktop can because the components are smashed in together, covered in plastic and have shitty fans.
CPUs the like Intel i7 4810MQ will throttle themselves when they reach their max operating temperature in order to not get to hot and completely fail, it will keep throttling itself more and more so long as it's operating near it's max operating temperature.

There could be a few more things going on but thermal throttling is definitely going to be your primary issue.

The Solution(s)

fps_max 121 // fps_max should be set for laptops to avoid excess heat especially when it's not necessary. Use a lower value if needed.

setting fps_max to 121 should keep your CPU from getting hot in situations where you would normally have over 121fps such as at spawn, meaning your CPU should be a bit cooler on average and delaying thermal throttling and potentially resolving thermal throttling sooner than normal. You may need to use an even lower value.

Get a laptop cooling pad, as it's name implies it should help your laptop dissipate heat faster meaning your should have lower overall system temps, and should mean you thermal throttle less often and not to the same extreme. (I still recommend setting fps_max if you do this)

posted 4 months ago
#35 free sin k4rma in TF2 General Discussion
Petetbh I really don't have a strong opinion on sin karma but the blind dets aren't really what make him the most sus imo

There was one time he asked "Do we have ad?" No one responded, 10 seconds later he said "OH they almost have Uber!" While standing on the pack on process mid

Or the time I was feeding on soldier and didn't say anything and he called "our soldier is about to die" I asked how he knew and he said "I could see your health through the wall because I'm on medic"

Depending on the context the uber call sounds a bit suspect on what you're describing, but your 2nd situation where he called you were about to die can be explained by the medic auto-call options and the match_hud at the top that shows everyone's HP on the team.

https://clips.twitch.tv/PowerfulHedonisticBulgogiWOOP
This clip for blind dets can be mostly explained by multiple visual cues.

Det number 1 going through choke the health beam would be visible coming off the scout.

Det number 2 on the wood beam, he could clearly see the red demo and scout crossing already.

Det number 3 on the point, good guess based on number of people on the cap point. As can be seen via the hud.

Det number 4 between choke and blue 2nd, this is the only one that can really be considered suspect but even then it's still a bit reaching. Sinkarma can see the uber come in from choke and still sees them all the way upto about 33s into the clip.
At this point what could Sin Karma know that would allow him to make the guess of the det timing.

  • 4s of uber has already been used from when he last saw the Red team
  • The Red demo was still standing back near choke
  • That Xattuu did at least 1 uber flash

Given the timing of all of that it would be pretty reasonable to guess to det about 1s after the uber should end since it's likely the Red team will either A group up and try to go up top, B the demo will walk forward over the stickies or C Red team backs up to choke to prepare for a counter sac from Blu since the Blue medic just died.

Granted this is 1 ~45s clip maybe there's more that I can't see

posted 4 months ago
#45 Feedback from people who don't use mastercomfig in Customization
mastercomsHi @Comanglia! Thanks for the feedback.

1&2.-snip- you could have used the framework for changing interp (snapshots_balanced) in user/sniper.cfg, as in the documentation.

Ok so I have some problems with this "user/CLASSCONFIG.cfg" instructions.

1. The installation guide for mastercomfig doesn't mention this at all.
2. There's no documentation that comes with the VPK that explains this.
3. The documentation that does exist is in this directory and file mastercomfig/docs/customization/custom_configs while none of the other documentation tells the user to make a new folder under steamapps\common\Team Fortress 2\tf\cfg called "user".

On top of that most of the readme and useful information are in a different directory entirely.

The clean up instruction that are with the installation instructions part of the recommended installation actually tells people to delete said cfg folder.

There's nothing about it in the troubleshooting section, the main readme, etc.

If I go through the trouble of going to your github to the specific sniper.cfg (or the directory that contains the class files) I find there's nothing in there telling me for custom class configs see X file or the instructions themselves.

4. The barrier to entry here is absolutely massive. Yes you thoroughly documented basically everything but you did it so well it became hard to find. Which even then expecting users to read 1 README file is already a fairly high barrier to clear for a lot of people...

mastercomsAnd just FYI, you can access the commented version of comfig.cfg here.

I'm aware.

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/469529966950744064/675461850925760539/unknown.png

I look forward to the manual installation release!

mastercoms3. I feel like this is a misconception. You'd never want to disable occlusion. If you have a weak GPU that needs to do more work on the CPU, then you'd be using bad GPU. If you don't match the description for bad GPU, you don't need to change those sorts of things.

As for texture bugs, only very low used the texture memory limit for a very short time. Additionally, in the future, this is the benefit to the modules system. It changes settings together so everything stays compatible. Maybe I'm misunderstanding what you're asking for though.

3. Was more about the assumptions in general I felt you made. I think I have misunderstood the comment you had left for r_occlusion.

//r_occlusion 1 // Use CPU to have the GPU skip rendering models/props you cannot see

I took this as meaning the CPU had to do extra rendering, but now I think this actually means the CPU just tells the GPU to not do unnecessary things.

Also wasn't necessarily asking for anything related to that texture limit command it was just an issue I ran into once when benchmarking your CFGs and I had decided to try out higher texture quality with benchmarks after loading the very-low, low and medium-low ones. But again it's 1 of those things that had me feeling like you assumed that people would never change those settings.

mastercoms4. I've been planning to do a repass on the modules and presets soon, and will probably be condensing and simplifying them to match use cases better with less analysis paralysis by having less meaningless choices which barely make a difference and screenshots/better explanations which demonstrate the changes made by each.

I this would greatly benefit a lot of people, especially those curious about what looks like what. However that's probably going to be quite tedious especially since different combinations of commands have different results for the same thing.

posted 4 months ago
#42 Feedback from people who don't use mastercomfig in Customization

Personally my biggest gripes based on past experience with your comfig some of which may not be true anymore

1. If you want to make any changes you have to crawl through ~20+ cfg files (granted a handful probably will not be touched at all)

2. Figuring out what an alias does and where to find said alias is a nightmare.
Ex. sniper.cfg within the vpk has this

pred_opt_full
snapshots_safe
snapshots
exec comfig/game_overrides 
class_config_sniper

Off the top of my head I have no idea what these do or where to find them other than the exec line, deductive reasoning (if you think from the standpoint of someone who's never gone through these) should narrow this down to these cfg files.

cfg/autoexec.cfg 
cfg/comfig/comfig.cfg
cfg/comfig/game_overrides.cfg
cfg/comfig/modules_run.cfg 
cfg/comfig/select_modules.cfg
cfg/presets/medium-low.cfg

So I have to go through 6 cfg files in 3 different directories how bad could it be?

autoexec.cfg just references other cfg files so that's ruled out.

comfig.cfg ~500 lines of aliases with no comments some of which reference other aliases... Well I think I found most of them... ctrl+f save me now

alias pred_opt_full "cl_pred_optimize 2"
alias snapshots_safe "cl_interp_ratio 2;setinfo cl_interp_ratio 2;interp_safe" 
alias snapshots
alias class_config_sniper "exec user/sniper"

cool I found them right. but now I'm left scratching my head as to what "snapshots" does since it's alias references nothing
Wait... another alias "interp_safe"
ctrl+f here we go again

I find that the alias interp_safe is set UNDER A DIFFERENT ALIAS

comfig.cfgalias packet_rate_congestion_aliases "alias interp_unreliable interp_congestion_unreliable;alias interp_safe interp_congestion_safe;alias interp_balanced interp_congestion_balanced;alias interp_lan interp_congestion_lan"
alias packet_rate_cons_aliases "alias interp_unreliable interp_cons_unreliable;alias interp_safe interp_cons_safe;alias interp_balanced interp_cons_balanced;alias interp_lan interp_cons_lan"
alias packet_rate_balanced_aliases "alias interp_unreliable interp_balanced_unreliable;alias interp_safe interp_balanced_safe;alias interp_balanced interp_balanced_balanced;alias interp_lan interp_balanced_lan"
alias packet_rate_standard_aliases "alias interp_unreliable interp_standard_unreliable;alias interp_safe interp_standard_safe;alias interp_balanced interp_standard_balanced;alias interp_lan interp_standard_lan"

Awesome interp_safe could be 4 different possible aliases that I don't know the settings for...

interp_congestion_safe
interp_cons_safe
interp_balanced_safe
interp_standard_safe

Hope I'm near the end of this chain...

alias interp_congestion_safe "cl_interp .060606;setinfo cl_interp .060606;cl_smoothtime .060606"
alias interp_cons_safe "cl_interp .05;setinfo cl_interp .05;cl_smoothtime .05"
alias interp_balanced_safe "cl_interp .0333333;setinfo cl_interp .0333333;cl_smoothtime .0333333"
alias interp_standard_safe "cl_interp .030303;setinfo cl_interp .030303;cl_smoothtime .030303"

Finally...
Wait how do I know which one I'm using...

screaming in agony intensifies

That's for just trying to make changes for 1 class config. Looking at that though that's not necessarily 100% optimal because I can choose to run huntsman which means I wouldn't want those net settings. Yes, I do know how to find which interp settings I'm using in the files but imagine this is someone literally just switching from my cfg or chris's or some other one and they're going through all of this for the 1st time.

3. The setup for your config assumes a lot.
Users will never/rarely want to change literally any specific details about their cfgs while keeping 99% of it the same.
Ex. See point #2

Users who select specific quality presets probably want x, y and z. So why not bundle them together under multiple aliases?
Ex. I have a 240Hz monitor, and I play classes that see maximum benefits from the highest possible fps. I also have a GPU that's far more than capable of handling TF2's higher settings that don't really impact CPU utilization. However to get the settings that maximize FPS with a CPU bottleneck without buggy issues I have to use medium low which has a lot of lower quality texture settings which are generally bundled into various aliases with other settings. I'm pretty sure you have this removed by now but you used to have "mat_texture_limit" as a setting within Low and Medium-Low iirc which would cause really bad issues if you changed picmip values.

Users who selected lower presets probably have weak GPUs in general thus we should put more load on the CPU.
1 such example from your github
mastercomfig/config/mastercomfig/cfg/comfig/comfig.cfg

//r_occlusion 1 // Use CPU to have the GPU skip rendering models/props you cannot see

Given your note people with better GPUs should probably set this to 0 for slightly more FPS. Now technically you have this commented out so it's not being set to 1 by your config, but given your installation recommendation this means users are probably using the default value of 1. Low and Medium-Low both definitely would end up with people having this value at 1.

4. Certain optimizations are only found in the low-preset but the low preset also has less than optimal choices elsewhere...

Default Low Preset sound settings

Show Content
[code]
snd_disable_mixer_duck 1
snd_pitchquality 0
dsp_slow_cpu 1
snd_spatialize_roundrobin 3
dsp_room 0
dsp_facingaway 0
dsp_speaker 0
dsp_water 0
dsp_spatial 0
snd_defer_trace 1[/code]

Default Medium-Low Preset sound settings

Show Content
[code]
snd_disable_mixer_duck 0
snd_pitchquality 0
dsp_slow_cpu 1
snd_spatialize_roundrobin 1
dsp_room 0
dsp_facingaway 0
dsp_speaker 50
dsp_water 0
dsp_spatial 40
snd_defer_trace 1[/code]

Neither preset is really optimal for competitive use. Medium-Low has more latency with dsp_spatial, and Low has more latency with snd_spatialize_roundrobin 3. I don't remember if dsp_speaker 50 causes latency or not, probably trivial anyway. There's many other similar examples of less than optimal choices from a competitive aspect or from a performance aspect.

Final Thoughts:
I do really appreciate what you've done and I understand why you made a lot of the choices you did that contributed to the above gripes I have. You have to make those safer assumption for lower presets because not everyone has great GPUs or Quad-core+ CPUs and the people that do will gravitate to those lower presets. Having that many CFG files allows you to split some things up and prevents certain commands from getting exec'd over and over, as well as making your setup more modular and flexible for you to develop thus saving time (which I'm fully aware how much this can eat up...).

posted 4 months ago
#109 Problem with RGL Policy in TF2 General Discussion
dbki feel like yall have constantly found SOMETHING to be mad about since rgl started, like even when I agree i cant help but feel there will still be people crying regardless of the situation. the only reason people didnt do this with esea is there was never an opportunity to do so.

No the reason people didn't do this shit in esea is because if you were to much of a massive idiot lpkane would start handing out permanent "refunds". Even after he stopped doing much on esea admins usually just ignored your complaints or told you to deal with it. Exception being Tri who had way to much on his plate anyway.

posted 5 months ago
#61 Problem with RGL Policy in TF2 General Discussion
edinits unbelievable how people on tftv literally can not read or understand a single concept unless they are specifically addressed and babied

rgl is spreading lies about cember and people like rebite just spread the lies even more calling him out for "using slurs"

first of all you need to learn to read and second of all you need to grow up

Pretty sure I read this correctly.

VirgilHere is what caused him to be banned (seen in chat here https://logs.tf/2454051#76561198010924969):

PREDICTABO! the ni you fuckin
PREDICTABO! and that other ni you fuckin

So if RGL and Rebite are lying what is "ni" supposed to mean then edin? It sure as fuck isn't Nickel. Perhaps a typo but the only word I can imagine being typed that can lead to that typo is "no" but that word doesn't fit with the rest of those 2 statements.

Maybe you're just trying to be ultra pedantic with the "using slurs" part because technically cember didn't use a slur he used an abbreviation and that's a reference to a slur. Either way he still deserved a ban.

edinrgl took cembers money, his teams money, banned him for a meme, spread lies about him, and still you guys somehow make cember the villain

Cember and his team all gave money to RGL and then cember broke a rule and got banned for it after the season began. Maybe the RGL wording wasn't 1000% correct but it's hard to have sympathy for someone who should've known better from the get go and should've known exactly what could happen due to their own teammates having done similar things recently.

VirgilHe hangs out with bad boys. Ok, so this one implies it has NOTHING to do with who he is or how he acts, the ONLY thing that matters is that he plays with Scratchh and Ekh0.

Of course cember's given extra scrutiny. Literally all it takes is someone saying "scratch's team again... look at this" and bam the entire chat from the log is looked at for ALL players. Technically people who consistently scrim and have matches against this team are also subjected to additional scrutiny because of this as well.

VirgilIf this is the case, then RGL is treating players unfairly, and doesn't actually consider a players actions when handing out punishment

Sounds like they actually did look at his action and also considered his background with a bunch of other players who've been banned and warned for this exact same behavior multiple times. Can cember really say he didn't know what could happen if he displayed ANY signs of toxic behavior?

VirgilThis implies that the teammates you play with is more important than your own actions, which is just kind of bullshit, especially if you have NO history of toxic behavior.

A real argument could be had here if cember hadn't been playing with people who've received this exact same ban before just earlier this month and further back and has been playing with them for quite awhile now. Hell I'd be inclined to agree with you if this was cembers first season with these guys, or if he was a 2nd string backup who's never played with them before or if cember was on a team where other players didn't have a history of this and hadn't played with players like scratch for a few seasons.

VirgilFurthermore, consider the fact that his punishment history is "consistent behavior problems", which implies that him hanging out with people is a BEHAVIOR problem, which is just kind of gross tbh.

How many times has cember tolerated literally all of the behavior problems of his teammates? I can only imagine how numerous the number of times he tolerated and turned a blind eye/ear to this.
Has cember ever reported any of his teammates for said behavior problems that could lead to bans? I doubt it, but idk.
Did cember display said behavior problem his same teammates have consistently had? On the 19th he definitely did.
Did cember know what would happen if he or his teammates continued said behavior? He should have and if he didn't he's incredibly naive.

posted 5 months ago
#23 The TF2 Aimbot Crisis in Videos
4hpin eu we're talking about people coding bots to flood casual and make it unplayable, I imagine it's not even that much of a time waster for them once the bots are functional. Idk if they feel important knowing valve won't stop them so they can effectively grief thousands of people at the same time, or if they developed a hate for the game and want to run it to the ground.

Either way I'm pretty convinced this is a bigger threat to the future of tf2 than anything that happens in the comp community. Pubs are the heart of the game.

I can't remember where I saw it but the last time this happened with catbots the maker said they were doing it because they wanted to force valve to do something about the game. Can't find the exact source on that but there's some posts from the catbot maker on tftv

https://www.teamfortress.tv/post/751963/new-hack

nullifiedcat
Only Valve can update VAC to be effective enough or patch these exploits. Probably they think it's just not worth the money and it's better to grab another bunch of community-made items, pack them into a tiered cosmetic case and get some more profits instead, they've been doing that for a while already and it works good (for them).

You can loosely infer what I said above from this quote. Pretty sure there's a more straight forward post/screenshot of chat somewhere though.

I'm not saying this is the right way to get Valve to do anything with the game and clearly at this point for as long as this has been going on it doesn't seem to be working anyway. Sucks for everyone trying to play on those servers though :/

zandait's pretty bad even on NA servers. today I was trying to pub + 7/10 games I played had at least one hacker

The handful of times I've ran into someone obviously cheating in NA servers they all seem to have been an actual human player and not just some bot with a pathing AI/script

posted 5 months ago
#23 NVIDIA and ASUS team up for 360hz monitor in Hardware
SetsulWell it is G-Sync, which is pretty much the only sensible way to run 200+ Hz. Constant 360+ fps obviously aren't going to happen.

And in all fairness you should look at the 24.5" 240 Hz panels, which are slightly faster, but I still expect the overdrive voltage necessary to hammer it down below 3ms to do terrible things to the overshoots.

Perhaps you're right but even the reviewed 24.5in Panels still fail to meet a margin for 360Hz in over 40% of possible transitions.

Asus ROG Swift PG278Q
Asus ROG Swift PG258Q
Acer Nitro XF252Q
AOC AGON AG251FZ (this monitor has really bad RTC overshoot at the OD settings you would need to use for 240Hz or even 144Hz as the lower ones are to slow)

Of those 4 the Asus PG278Q is the most consistent in terms of pixel transition only 2/30 transitions TFT central reported wouldn't be able to be within the timeframe for 240Hz. However 21/30 wouldn't be within the time frame for 360Hz.

The Acer Nitro XF252Q has 3/30 transitions that can't meet that time interval for 240Hz. However and this is where you're technically correct it fairs better on average for 360Hz where only 14/30 can't transition within the 360Hz refresh time. Of those 4 monitors this the only monitor where the pixel response time on at least 1 transition was so slow that it would still be present after 2 refreshes at 360Hz (255 to 200 transition = 5.8ms). On a bit of tangent but this certainly seems like the best 240Hz TN in terms of overall pixel response time and how rarely RTC overshoot happens.

Side note for people who're wondering "What is RTC overshoot?" This is the amount a pixel overshoots it's desired tone and TFT central displays this as a percentage. The AOC AGON AG251FZ has the worst transition from the tone level 50 to tone level 200 at 49.8% which means it reached tone level ~274 before settling back to 200.

https://www.tftcentral.co.uk/images/asus_rog_swift_pg278q/response_comparison.jpg

This is an image that shows the PG278Q with it's various OD settings. Off is when the pixel transition is to slow but there's no overshoot. Normal is close to perfect for minimal overshoot and pixels transitioning fast enough. Extreme is really bad overshoot.

posted 5 months ago
#19 NVIDIA and ASUS team up for 360hz monitor in Hardware

Pessimistic.

I can only assume this is going to cost far to much to even remotely justify it barring FPS professional players, perhaps even professional players in Racing games?

But even FPS professional players what games with active competitive scenes can actually achieve 300+ FPS, let alone 360+ when you actually need/want it? Especially if said players are using LAN PCs that haven't exactly been setup to really be able to push that kind of FPS, afaik LAN PCs even for CSGO majors don't have i9-9900ks's @ 5.0+ GHz with C states disabled.

The things is I can't think of any unless it's some ultra-specific scenario that may very well be map dependent in a game like CSGO. Ex. AWPing double doors on Dust 2 on a high end PC that hasn't been super optimized would likely still be around 360fps on low settings.

So the use scenario for a display like this is exceptionally limited, with what will likely be a high cost barrier, but it still gets worse from here...

Pixel response times in IPS, VA and even TN 100% without a doubt can not support the color transitions necessary for 360Hz. Taking even the best recorded pixel response time recorded from a 240Hz display by tft central in terms of the lowest Average with minimal overshoot we have a display that can't even 100% consistently do a pixel transition within the refresh of 240Hz at with the time interval of ~4.17ms between refreshes.

https://www.tftcentral.co.uk/images/asus_rog_swift_pg278q/response_5.png

At 360Hz with 2.78ms between refreshes we see that over 60% of those pixel transitions would be to slow...

This monitor has basically everything working against it.

  • Limited pool of people this would be relevant too
  • Pool becomes even more limited due to virtually no games offering that kind of framerate
  • The few use cases for this monitor are extremely map and/or role dependent for the games that can even come close to supporting this kind of FPS on modern hardware and are still active.
  • Due to the fact the panels themselves needing to be binned means availability of this monitor at reasonable prices is going to be non-existent. If it's retail price is reasonable it'll just be bought out instantly and resold for much more by scalpers.
  • Given the best pixel response times measured for various 240Hz panels odds are even well binned panels can't keep up with the pixel transitions necessary on a 360Hz display.

TL;DR This monitor is a tech demo that can be bought and nothing more. Also very likely to have some major QC issues if the binning specification is to loose.

posted 5 months ago
#49 Christmas presents thread 2019 in Off Topic
SnackHuggesWool socks
I love socks
https://i.imgur.com/IsLu5eM.png

Definitely me, however I think part of the reason is the socks I got as a kid (that I remember) were all generic white cotton socks. Now I actually get warm wool socks or stuff with cool designs.

Wife and I got a 2nd Nintendo Switch for ourselves. Finally got Breath of the Wild...

posted 6 months ago
#100 What's your 2019 resolution? in Off Topic
WizardTF2Try and learn to program with C++ and C# more often in the new year.

Some advice. Pick one, commit to it until you're comfortable even if you get discouraged about it's relative usefulness/job prospects versus the other language. Once you know 1 language it's a lot easier to pickup another and knowing 1 language good enough is a lot better than barely understanding 2 or more languages.

Since you have picked 2 already if you have a hard time deciding flip a coin.

Also would recommend picking a comprehensive project that's relatively within grasp early on.
Ex. A bug tracking program. You're going to learn a lot of different things and it will cover far more than making tic-tac-toe or some other tiny game. It also has the plus unlike a lot of other possible comprehensive projects of having been done by tons of people in basically every program language in basically every job field, so finding resources/help should be attainable. Though doing 2 or 3 basic projects first to get your familiar with what you're doing would still be recommended. You also don't have to work exclusively on that project if it starts to burn you out, also try using said bug tracker for your other projects (including itself).

posted 6 months ago
#44 girl advice in Off Topic

Noticed this thread and thought I'd throw my 2 cents in on a couple things mastercom said.

mastercomsif she just says she is busy she might be trying to tell you no in a nice way so please don't be pushy about alternatives.

If you're the kind of person that will just rethink this over and over In this case I'd recommend asking if she was just trying to be nice and if she's just not interested. Say goodbye, and leave them alone if they're not interested.

Generic and admittedly rather blunt response example:
You: Is there another time/day that you would be available, or are you just trying to say no nicely?
Them: I'm not interested, sorry. / I'm already with someone else.
You: Thank you for being honest, have a good day/night. and If applicable you could end with "See you in class tomorrow." or "See you at work next week."

At this point walk away, don't sulk, try looking on the bright side you just approached someone and asked them out and even if rejected that's still a small victory.

In most cases you really don't want to make a significant conversation after this as it'll just be creepy and or awkward for both of you. That being said this isn't 100% true for everyone but odds are if you're asking/looking for this advice you should probably get out of the conversation sooner rather than later. This is also assuming you don't know this person all that well to begin with.

If this is someone you run into regularly via work/school or they live right next to you just treat them like you would any other random person you kinda know and think is an ok or decent person.

mastercomsplease dont impose yourself physically or force her into some really uncomfortable position like against a wall. it's really nerve wracking and almost a red flag.

I would say that's definitely a red flag unless it was done to prevent serious bodily harm...

@op and tbh most US guys in general

A large percentage of women in the US have been a victim of some form of abuse (sexual or otherwise). Early on in a relationship the last thing you would want to do is trigger (even accidentally) memories of said abuse and have them be associated to you in anyway. Unfortunately you can't know what all those triggers are (unless they tell you). However you can mitigate a lot of common ones. Don't grab wrists/shoulders, in general avoid grabbing unless you absolutely have to (ex. preventing them from getting hit by a car) or they make it abundantly clear they want you too. Don't position yourself between them and easy exits. Avoid using an angry tone if at all possible. Stay sober, 1 or 2 drinks is probably fine but that's it. After a date offer a ride/walk home (or to their car) if they refuse do not ask again.

posted 6 months ago
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