i'm not getting an invite medal this season just because i turned down other offers to sub for a better team and it was never stated that i had to play a match, i guess next time i'll just play for a 0-16 team instead

it's been a rough couple of months for me personally but i think my recent dissapointment in myself in this preseason for not getting in an IM team has been the one that has made me angry at myself rather than sad.

after 3 years of playing in a 30 fps machine i finally builded a new pc that i thought would be the thing that truly makes me play better and do something significant, that's the main reason why i had such a massive drive to play tf2 next season and i still do.

but after quite a few tryouts, i'm just so pissed at myself after all this, my first tryout for an IM team went pretty smoothly but they already had a med in mind before they even tried me out so it was kinda pointless.

my second tryout went pretty smoothly aswell i think which ended up in asking me to play again next week but i just, choked. i played horrible and i tilted the entire team because of it and it still haunts me to this day (even if it wasn't that long ago).

just like that the goal i had for myself which was do ok in IM (not even do well like 8-8 or something like that just do ok like 6-10 or something) was gone and not possible anymore.

and for the open teams that asked me to tryout, one of them i did really well but because of internal conflict and someone taking something too personal, i didn't make it and for the other ones i got the leader had to go to the hospital and when he did get home he couldn't find enough people to tryout so i guess that's over.

after all this stuff happened, i started doing really bad in games and keep dying and i keep getting mad at myself because i'm letting the team down with me being so fucking shit and my head starts hurting because of all this pressure and anger i put to myself.

i was thinking to make a team or try to lead one but the thing is i don't have any friends that would be willing to play with me, like everyone is too good for me or won't be able to stand playing with me for more than 30 mins so why bother.

i'm just mad at myself and i wanna take a break from all this bullshit, i think mentally i'm too fucked atm to play medic calmly like i normally do.

you can maybe say there's still 20 days left til registration ends but keep in mind christmas + new years nobody is gonna scrim and do tryouts, let alone, make teams in that time so basically i think a week out of those 20 days basically doesn't exist, i'd like to be proven wrong but who knows.

i just wanna play in a team and have fun and improve in it with everyone else.

I was a lazy idiot and put off way too much work until the end of the semester now it's all piling up and making my life hell (the college student classic tbh)
Thankfully I'll be done in a few days but gonna be rough and my grades def suffered because of it :/

wish tf2 would re-launch and I could escape back to starting out in open and going through IM and it's esea s3 again and an -AA- meant something and the community weapons felt like valve was actually paying attention to us and there wasn't a fuckton of experimental weapons and loot crates failed to gain traction and never end up decimating the rest of the gaming industry and hemorrhaging its consumers for years to come

this has always been on my mind but I wish i got into making videos back then tf2 really had some great seasons with a lot of sustenance in more than half of every team in every league. I think I just might try doing something with it because there was something to the lifeblood of the community with entities like Torn Productions, ikpure and Cla chapter-ing the fan favorite team of the season. I got into tf2 because of some omfgninja videos back in the day, and meatshot vol 1 brought me into competitive. If I recall the ventures weren't sustainable for the amount of production going in and the return on the videos so it died out for the frag videos. maybe not the case anymore with the acceptance of twitch and youtube gaming. would a modern tf2 news/esports show bring life back to the game? not gonna lie, about 11 years ago I fantasized about watching concise TF2 games and give me the rundown on matchups at home on TV and i'm grumpy its not watchable today like that as a retired player. watching full matches is a bore when the camera operator is jittery and jumpy, but spectating it myself is too involved, rather be playing the game itself at that point which i don't have the time of day to practice and show up for scrims with.

Ya'll act fake as fuck in Discord and Mumble when you pug, but then turn around and act edgy and toxic in your own personal DMs and Discords. Wish you'd all just shut the fuck up and play the game instead of complaining about one another and being all passive-aggressive as fuck. I outright admit to waterboarding people irl with marinara sauce, but you guys try to act like you're totally not fucking nerds.

Video games have ruined my fucking life.

Don't drop the pizza next time...

You don't know what it feels like to cry for 30 minutes straight while trying to avoid eye contact with yourself in the mirror because your mirror is right next to your PC.

tf2 is so hard

I'm playing really bad today. I just wanna get better/grind so bad but I'm not having fun doing it right now

I want to play next season but I don't have a work schedule that lets me play every day. I'm stuck playing for kinda bad teams that don't scrim very much or roster riding on pretty good teams that never need me because they have committed players. Shits dumb. I just want to play game.

hate driving uphill, what kind of monster designed these roads

people who join major mge maps with some aggravating offclass (normally pyro or spy) and refuse to switch to a normal class because its "fun"

teams who forego demo reviews in order to cram in as many scrims as possible and repeat mistakes

how fucking terrible badlands mid is

please tell me you drive stick, if not then LOL youd shit yourself dude

yeah, I wish paulsen didnt fake damage call in every scrim and official. It just pisses me off that I die because the players he is calling low arent actually low like WHAT THE FUCK.

Downvote this if Hertz is terrible at tf2

my open experience:

• have the medic and scout of my first team try to cut me for an IM pocket, and when everyone else would rather play with me the two leave and kill the team
  
• have a pretty cool 2-season stint with a team until i become a scapegoat for bigger team issues and get replaced by an IM pocket
  
• get picked up on a pretty cohesive roster until last season's team deteriorates due to unsolved previous issues; new team salvages old team's demo but he won't play without his roamer friend (read: according to the team leader, not the demo himself) making me lft on the day the season starts

is it just me or are a lot of team leaders and players in open super two-faced? am i just running into all the really cut-happy aids rosters or is this the norm for open teams?

i for real just wanna play some esea tf2 but i forgot the meta was cutting your way to the top to win the equivalent of mcdonalds meal vouchers, damn man

wanted to play im this season + my first team died due to lack of players/unfortunate circumstance and then I got picked up by a team only to get told that they got someone else. now I have a 7 day cooldown on joining im rosters and the season starts tomorrow. no one is looking for im scouts anyways. smfh

I KEEP FUCKING MISSING

yo FUCK esea

esea is so awful and i just wish someone would make a league that would kill it.

https://i.imgur.com/5OV1FZM.png

The drummer from one of my absolute favorite bands Sigur Ros has been kicked out of the band and pretty much had his entire life and career ruined because of a sketchy instagram post made by a woman who works at a strip club. Her version of the story is that she willingly went to his place for a while and talked and then:

"Boyd (accuser) told Pitchfork that after a minute or so in bed with Dýrason, who was either naked or in boxers, he said he wanted “to feel your skin on my skin.” Boyd told Pitchfork, “And I was like, ‘OK,’ and I kind of like got naked next to him and we were cuddling, and then he kissed me and we were kissing for a couple of minutes."

A few months later she makes a public post on instagram accusing him of rape. You can read the article yourself its absolutely ridiculous and he denies that they even had sex yet because of an instagram post by some random lady one of the greatest musicians of the 21st century has just had his entire career ruined. No other women have come forward with allegations, there is not a shred of evidence, the woman is an unreliable witness and he was crucified anyways.

https://pitchfork.com/news/new-details-in-sexual-assault-allegation-against-ex-sigur-ros-drummer-orri-pall-dyrason/

Similar thing has happened to Jesse Lassey from Brand New.

Funny how less talented but FAR more wealthy artists like Chris Brown can continue to get away with beating up women on a daily basis not to mention the vast amount of gangs, violence, drugs and sexual crimes in the hip hop community so why is the drummer from my little icelandic post-rock band getting screwed instead of actual predators.

my IDIOT team wont let me run the tide turner

Something has made me VERY angry and even upset recently. Count Dankula aka the Scottish Guy who is going to jail for posting a video of his dog as a Nazi has just had his entire youtube channel demonized. He is probably the only comedian on YouTube watch and enjoy and his videos are fantastic, particularly his "Mad Lads" series which I highly recommend you check out.

His youtube channel was his entire career and now he has no source of income. Due to him now having a record for the Nazi Pug video it is highly unlikely he will be able to find a new source of income, as getting a job with a race-crime related offense over here basically means unemployment for life. He is literally just about to get married and start a family and he is genuinely a great guy. Apparently BuzzFeed labeled him as far-right because he met up with Tommy Robinson, despite making it clear he disagrees with Tommy's politics and this may have been what triggered the incident.

The man is not far-right, nor is he a Nazi or a Racist and anyone who has actually watched all of his videos would tell you that he is a genuinely decent guy.

air dryers in bathrooms are a sin and should never been invented

DON'T MAKE ME PACK SOME PAPER TOWELS!!!!!!!

WHY DO I NEVER GET A CHANCE TO PLAY THIS GAME IN THE INTERMEDIATE DIVISION ON THE ROAMING SOLDIER CLASS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Show them how powerful it is by using it in mge

my waifu broke up with me

i've already wasted $300+ on random accidents this semester because im too impatient wtfff gimmie a break

i've been sick for going on three weeks now and it's actually fucking infuriating that i've finished like 2 bottles of cough medicine and still have fits of coughing like all the time. it's been affecting pretty much every aspect of my life because i can't go to my band rehearsals, i've missed a lot of class already and it's harder to pay attention in my classes because im always coughing, and im playing tf2 worse because i have to take my hands off my kb/mouse to cover my mouth. i'd literally pay like $100 to feel better at this point.