:-) Y'all play any Trombone Champ?

stay the fuck out of my diary

So I've moved into a new house and setting up literally everything has been like pulling teeth. Trying to pay council tax I need a number which I don't have because it is on the first bill you get which evidently i don't have because i just moved in, so trying to get the number requires asking the council which i was on the phone with waiting for 1h+ before giving up. I sent them an email 5 days ago but still fucking nothing so guess i'm not paying council tax lol. next thing was gas and eletric which apparently are on 2 different suppliers so electric went through fine but gas was still on a different company which now won't give up the contract until the 18th so i have to call them then to try and get them to fuck off. next i was ment to have internet today but plusnet sent the router to the wrong address even though i called them twice to sort out the correct address but apparently they're fucking useless so *shrug* so thats gonna be another couple of days. next i orginized out everything really nice so all the various bits and bobs that were being sent to my house were ment to arrive yesterday so i only had to waste 1 day sitting around waiting for stuff but the tv that i ordered off laptops direct just didn't fucking show up and they didn't even bother to tell me it wasn't going to arrive so i rang up this morning (20 min on hold) and they said, yeah looks like its been lost lol we'll ring you in a bit to tell you when its going to arrive. that was at like 10am this morning and so at 3pm i rang up to chase them up (because of fucking course they didn't ring back) so after being on hold for 50mins i want to just cancel it so i don't have to deal with this useless company and the lady tells yeah you can't cancel while its on delivery so just refuse it when it arrives, but i ask her when its going to arrive because it was 'meant' to arrive yesterday and she basically says i dunno lol so who fucking knows when i'm going to either get a tv or my money back. oh yeah and the water meter readings were wrong because the letting agent doesnt know the difference between 27 and 29 so looked and the wrong house so thats another thing i have to sort out because people are fucking useless.

fuck

I've spent the entirety of my time playing this game in any form of competitive being an absolute shithead to everyone around me, whether it be via being a toxic asshole or blaming others for shit I do wrong constantly. Anyone that's played a Lobby or season with me knows that I'm a piece of shit, and it sucks because it's far too late for me to apologize to anyone for it. I want to get back into competitive and actually try this time, but I'm convinced my reputation is permanently ruined.

I feel the worst about ESEA S26, I got picked as Medic for an open team, I don't remember what it was at the time but it's now known as "Simian Aggression" on there. There were several losses in scrims and matches where I was definitely a good part of the reason why we lost and despite being told I need to find a mentor and practice more, I just kept going off the notion that "lmao no, xyz is the problem, I'm doing fine, look at muh logs!" - I became a total asshole and in the last couple of games and scrims I played with them I put zero effort in, and then got cut for it. I'm sorry to the people on that team for not listening and being a dick.

I don't think I've ever brought anything good to any "team" I've been a part of. It took until years after quitting all competitive based play to realize that. Years of blaming others and being a toxic asshole, and now I realize that for the vast majority of it, I'm to blame, that my toxicity and inability to try and stick with a team for more than a short season has led to me having zero friends left that play TF2 regularly or competitively. I regret it all.

This is more of just coming to terms with my stupidity rather than actually ranting, but oh well. I've been needing to open up about it for a long while now.

Though, at least I learned through maining medic to appreciate medics a lot more.

My steam account got self-locked and I tried to solve the issue with steam support and they are the most useless pieces of shit.

I provided them with:

1) credit card info on purchases I made on that account
2) first email used on the account

They said those info were good but I have to send them the ticket number via my first email to "confirm" but it's an email I've haven't used since 2007 and I've tried everything in my power to regain access to said email.

I poured hundreds of dollars into this account and now it's permanently locked out.

A true sign of growth is to fully acknowledge mistakes from the past, able to understand what you did was wrong/not the best thing and being capable of apologizing and fully understanding it's not a path you should take in the future. I wish more people did what you are doing right now.

I grew up in an extremely toxic environment and got bullied every day just because some elitist group liked to make fun of me and everybody else just followed along because of their status. Some years later some of them came to me to apologize for the behaviours they had towards me and even though I still felt a lot of remorse and doubted whether I should just block them away, I had to value how brave they are for acknowledging their mistakes and looking back to what they did, which is not an easy thing to do and as I've said earlier, it shows a maturity sign.

Words are just that, they mean nothing. Time showed me those people genuinely changed because their actions spoke for them, so that's what actually counts. I'm 100% percent sure if you want to start over in this game and keep playing competitively, even though it will be hard as fuck to (re)gain the communinty's trust and be able to make everyone see you in a different way, if you're truly commited, over time your actions will speak for yourself and people will see that. Good luck.

at my job im part of a small team, maybe 9 or 10 people. my boss spends a lot of time telling us to be sure to report issues that we see and to stay on top of things coming up so that it doesnt cause problems for customers. and then the distribution department, without fail, doesnt do a damn thing to fix the problems we report. my boss doesnt have control of them and it drives me up the god damn wall. there are so few people applying for distribution that they wont fire anyone for anything. ive been complaining about the same guy for over 2 and a half years and he is still hired. last christmas season he would literally just show up and leave without doing anything. if anyone tried to force him to do his job he would sneak out when people werent looking. this year it is october and he is already being as negligent as he was last holiday season. and i dont exactly hold any leverage because there are a lot of people who want my job.

ok so i don’t know if im retarded and missing signals or some shit like that but i has a job interview was that supposed to be last friday but then i had to reschedule it and I emailed him on Thursday and the guy was like ok, cool. so then i email him about when to reschedule and he like doesn’t reply. So I wait until Monday to call and the guy was like, yeah, I’m busy right now but I’ve read your email so can you text me what times you’re available on Tuesday and I’ll get back to you in the evening. but like??? he doesn’t respond unless I call him????? like does he want me to call him in the evening????? idfk what this guy wants just ghost me or don’t man what’s this shit. i have a free day tomorrow so i pretty much plan on calling in the morning so this fuckery is over with

euro lobs, demo refuses to do kritz trap and instead tells me to hide so they dont know, I tell them the damn spy can check and see what our shit is, he still doesnt set the kritz trap, so the gates open and I kritz the heavy
the demo asks why he didnt get kritz...

then he runs shield demo rest of the morning for me here in the states, he talks about how no com's lobs are a thing / rule. it really just kills it for the team that has no coms. how can euros play HL lobs with no coms? its cancer. its insane! a sniper on process mid can clean house if the fight goes bad. a sniper can destroy euro lobs. its like a goldmine for sniping for americans and euros that want to mess with people.

also my Invite HL team gets baited, killed for the season because percy and meech. meech asks us to help their team out like hes the team leader, he isnt even a damn team leader. he just baits people into tryouts and kills teams. percy just nods goes on about it saying "nothing you can do about it". Was gunna pay team fees for an invite HL team, then I'm under the assumption that I dont gotta do that, so I pay MY bills and shit and figure we are working with them. Got enough cash for one or two transfers. So now i'm forced with my mate Starykrow to play a bullshit NA team that is Canadian/South American/USA. In the end I'm told im trying out*** for a fucking ugc team... i gotta fucking tryout for a ugc team? as medic? NA is crap now, and I gotta tryout??? I find out Meech isnt even a team leader. Hes banned on RGL and shit, so much stupid bullshit happening right now its insane.

we got yoshi baiting players on tf2 center for his stream running shield demo

everytime ive played a lobby with you you've gotten unreasonably pissed at tf2center players just relaxing and not tryharding. they're lobbies, and you might better success with people fulfilling your weirdly high standards if you stick to pugs and inhouses.

also yeah yoshi is an annoying human being but its out of ur control so please stop taking that anger out on the people around you that are just trying to chill out and play a lobby.

hey its me, the medic, if you didnt know, getting shot in the fucking head sucks, it sucks more when no one says where it came from. meanwhile in EU 1 team does one thing right, repeat ever and over and over, *dontcap* youll end the game way too fast*, its tooo fast, too fast, lets farm them!***

you might as welll go play fucking casual mate.

and dbk? nice self upfrag. get some coms in those lobs man
just because you didnt teach the new comers positioning / places / names doesnt mean its not our fault

no coms = dead game (why) because you are not calling out spots, you are not helping other players LEARN

you're an incredibly bad poster

if i was gunna vent out my anger i would be banned ok (do you know what i mean? )

EDIT: ok if u dont get the joke i can explain on dsicrod ok eevv#6054

HHAHAHAHAHAH MY FUCKING SIDES I CALL THIS GUY IN THE MORINGIN HE TELLS ME TO CALL IN THE AFTERNOON I CALL IN THE AFTERNOON NOW HE TELLS ME TO CALL IN THE EEVENING
fucks sake MAN stg i hate that i need this job and i hate this man fuck you so much fuck your illness ive been chasing u for a week u absolute cunt i dont have any sympathy for u

no im just too honest
and i make typos sue me

medic mains rise up

https://media.giphy.com/media/xKy2w6LehxxHa/giphy.gif

I constistantly put more time into TF2 than my peers but always remain worse. I watch my demos, play MGE despite hating it, and try my best to take criticism from my teammates. Despite all that, I feel as though I'm improving miles slower than the people around me. I dont want to shit out a cheap rationalization and say "Oh I'm just not talented like these other players" because to me that seems like a defeatist attitude that would lock me in my current position of mediocrity.

Improve other aspects of your life. It's all connected. Go work out and make sure your work/school is going well. Try some mental exercises.

I literally cannot seem to improve at medic no matter what I do. Either I die like a retard or I accidentally drop people. I've watched every single one of the videos which get ctrl-v'd here. I just can't shake the feeling that I'm just ruining the game for everyone else on my team because I miss what should be easy arrows and have bad heal efficiency. That means that I feel terrible playing matches where I do shit.

How tf do I improve without playing actual matches?

Also my flatmate apparently plays destiny 2 24/7 or streams or whatever which means my ping is low but I have the worst fucking pingspikes.

Why do i have to remind people to get in mumble before 930 in the year 2019?

at least your players show up at all

then leave them lol

@tibby @pointy Once you have a grasp on the basics learning goes from being a passive process of gaining muscle memory and turns into refining your muscle memory and really fine tuning your decisions. blindly playing grinding the game is only going to produce bad habits and ultimately make it harder for your to improve. If you would rather have someone do the work for you get a mentor otherwise pinpoint your problem areas and every time you launch tf2 work on those problem areas specifically.

stfu and draw shit for us again. maybe this way someone might bother paying attention to you again

oh yea
ill draw something when more of you do some new independent events / tournaments and actually approach me
until then ill just go play RGL and make my statement with that

after a buildup of dumb shit i recently completely cut myself off from my friend group, which is a lot less stress but eating lunch alone sucks and ive completely forgotten how to make new friends, especially as a senior in high school where it feels like im way too late to the party.

https://twitter.com/alfa_TF2/status/1192504060190044160?s=19

If this was all you saw on the ballot, would you understand that the following is one of changes approving the initiative would cause?

Cut 20 billion dollars in funding for public transit expansion WHICH THE PEOPLE VOTED FOR so that farmers in eastern washington can pay less money for car tabs lol.

literally 6 out of the 20 initiatives this guy, Tim Eyman, has introduced were declared unconstitutional by the supreme court, and kingco is going to try and overturn this initiative too

regardless of personal opinions, this is very similar to shit rgl has pulled in the past and we should probably be fighting for the same transparency from BTS that we demanded from rgl at the time