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indigosummerhow do you fight the urge to not kill yourself?
i commute everday
everyday i wake up and do this shit, uni 4/7 days and work 2/7. i hate my job even tho it pays really well for a student. i fucking hate customer service it has made me realize how dumb the average person who walks into a bank is. i hate going to school and not majoring in what i love because im terrified of not being able to find a job because i 100% will not be able to live on my own with how expensive housing is in my city. i hate how ive given up on the concept of having a family and have convinced myself that id be happy without children because i know it's too expensive, despite how much i love my huge extended family. i had to give up my PC to my brother when the semester started so im even more isolated from my hobbies and passions because i can't hang out with my online friends in the evening, and play videogames socially to unwind. im making decent money currently and im absolutely terrified to spend it on anything, i only spend it on eating out several times a week because i love cooking and eating food from different cultures, and even then i feel sick looking at my credit card bill, despite it usually being under 100 bucks.
what's even the point of doing any of this?
having something other than work or studies is important, some people have videogames, a partner, hobbies, or something like that. someone or something to make their lives less "empty"
you should also look into therapy, suicidal thoughts are serious. for something immediate you can do right now that won't cost any money, is just start writing down your feelings. every day i write down on paper how many times i thought about hurting myself, the reasons i thought about it, and write the last time i remember feeling good. going back and looking on it, the worse i feel the longer i think its been since i felt good. if i'm having a not so bad day, when i write i'll often remember the last time i felt good as that same day, or the day before. if i'm having a really bad day, then sometimes it'll be weeks ago when i remember feeling "happy". more than once its saved my life by being able to compartmentalize my thoughts and feelings in the moments that they overwhelm me, and realize that the way i'm feeling is temporary. the same is true for you, this is all temporary. you may feel trapped in this cycle now but your life could be different far faster than you think. feeling this way makes it extremely hard to actually look past how you're feeling and think about the future realistically.
the point to doing all of this is whatever you decide the point is for you, only you can give meaning to your life. you decide for yourself what will make you happy, and it seems like you're well on your way to achieving that yourself. whatever it is you love that you want to major in can be your passion, and whatever you're going for now is a means to an end.
i don't know anything about you other than what you've posted but if you're considering suicide as an option i implore you to reach out for help. your family, your friends, therapy, even me if you feel like you can't turn to any of them for whatever reason. everyone has something that can and will make them happy its just a matter of reaching it, and the only way to guarantee you have no chance of being happy is to take your own life.
[quote=indigosummer]how do you fight the urge to not kill yourself?
i commute everday
everyday i wake up and do this shit, uni 4/7 days and work 2/7. i hate my job even tho it pays really well for a student. i fucking hate customer service it has made me realize how dumb the average person who walks into a bank is. i hate going to school and not majoring in what i love because im terrified of not being able to find a job because i 100% will not be able to live on my own with how expensive housing is in my city. i hate how ive given up on the concept of having a family and have convinced myself that id be happy without children because i know it's too expensive, despite how much i love my huge extended family. i had to give up my PC to my brother when the semester started so im even more isolated from my hobbies and passions because i can't hang out with my online friends in the evening, and play videogames socially to unwind. im making decent money currently and im absolutely terrified to spend it on anything, i only spend it on eating out several times a week because i love cooking and eating food from different cultures, and even then i feel sick looking at my credit card bill, despite it usually being under 100 bucks.
what's even the point of doing any of this?[/quote]
having something other than work or studies is important, some people have videogames, a partner, hobbies, or something like that. someone or something to make their lives less "empty"
you should also look into therapy, suicidal thoughts are serious. for something immediate you can do right now that won't cost any money, is just start writing down your feelings. every day i write down on paper how many times i thought about hurting myself, the reasons i thought about it, and write the last time i remember feeling good. going back and looking on it, the worse i feel the longer i think its been since i felt good. if i'm having a not so bad day, when i write i'll often remember the last time i felt good as that same day, or the day before. if i'm having a really bad day, then sometimes it'll be weeks ago when i remember feeling "happy". more than once its saved my life by being able to compartmentalize my thoughts and feelings in the moments that they overwhelm me, and realize that the way i'm feeling is temporary. the same is true for you, this is all temporary. you may feel trapped in this cycle now but your life could be different far faster than you think. feeling this way makes it extremely hard to actually look past how you're feeling and think about the future realistically.
the point to doing all of this is whatever you decide the point is for you, only you can give meaning to your life. you decide for yourself what will make you happy, and it seems like you're well on your way to achieving that yourself. whatever it is you love that you want to major in can be your passion, and whatever you're going for now is a means to an end.
i don't know anything about you other than what you've posted but if you're considering suicide as an option i implore you to reach out for help. your family, your friends, therapy, even me if you feel like you can't turn to any of them for whatever reason. everyone has something that can and will make them happy its just a matter of reaching it, and the only way to guarantee you have no chance of being happy is to take your own life.
i commute everday
everyday i wake up and do this shit, uni 4/7 days and work 2/7. i hate my job even tho it pays really well for a student. i fucking hate customer service it has made me realize how dumb the average person who walks into a bank is. i hate going to school and not majoring in what i love because im terrified of not being able to find a job because i 100% will not be able to live on my own with how expensive housing is in my city. i hate how ive given up on the concept of having a family and have convinced myself that id be happy without children because i know it's too expensive, despite how much i love my huge extended family. i had to give up my PC to my brother when the semester started so im even more isolated from my hobbies and passions because i can't hang out with my online friends in the evening, and play videogames socially to unwind. im making decent money currently and im absolutely terrified to spend it on anything, i only spend it on eating out several times a week because i love cooking and eating food from different cultures, and even then i feel sick looking at my credit card bill, despite it usually being under 100 bucks.
what's even the point of doing any of this?[/quote]
having something other than work or studies is important, some people have videogames, a partner, hobbies, or something like that. someone or something to make their lives less "empty"
you should also look into therapy, suicidal thoughts are serious. for something immediate you can do right now that won't cost any money, is just start writing down your feelings. every day i write down on paper how many times i thought about hurting myself, the reasons i thought about it, and write the last time i remember feeling good. going back and looking on it, the worse i feel the longer i think its been since i felt good. if i'm having a not so bad day, when i write i'll often remember the last time i felt good as that same day, or the day before. if i'm having a really bad day, then sometimes it'll be weeks ago when i remember feeling "happy". more than once its saved my life by being able to compartmentalize my thoughts and feelings in the moments that they overwhelm me, and realize that the way i'm feeling is temporary. the same is true for you, this is all temporary. you may feel trapped in this cycle now but your life could be different far faster than you think. feeling this way makes it extremely hard to actually look past how you're feeling and think about the future realistically.
the point to doing all of this is whatever you decide the point is for you, only you can give meaning to your life. you decide for yourself what will make you happy, and it seems like you're well on your way to achieving that yourself. whatever it is you love that you want to major in can be your passion, and whatever you're going for now is a means to an end.
i don't know anything about you other than what you've posted but if you're considering suicide as an option i implore you to reach out for help. your family, your friends, therapy, even me if you feel like you can't turn to any of them for whatever reason. everyone has something that can and will make them happy its just a matter of reaching it, and the only way to guarantee you have no chance of being happy is to take your own life.
indigosummerhow do you fight the urge to not kill yourself?
i commute everday
everyday i wake up and do this shit, uni 4/7 days and work 2/7. i hate my job even tho it pays really well for a student. i fucking hate customer service it has made me realize how dumb the average person who walks into a bank is. i hate going to school and not majoring in what i love because im terrified of not being able to find a job because i 100% will not be able to live on my own with how expensive housing is in my city. i hate how ive given up on the concept of having a family and have convinced myself that id be happy without children because i know it's too expensive, despite how much i love my huge extended family. i had to give up my PC to my brother when the semester started so im even more isolated from my hobbies and passions because i can't hang out with my online friends in the evening, and play videogames socially to unwind. im making decent money currently and im absolutely terrified to spend it on anything, i only spend it on eating out several times a week because i love cooking and eating food from different cultures, and even then i feel sick looking at my credit card bill, despite it usually being under 100 bucks.
what's even the point of doing any of this?
life is long and will eventually end. might as well ride it out. if it really is rock bottom, then there is nowhere to go but up
i will say that a degree does not lock you into a career or a job for the rest of your life. you can absolutely still find employment in something you love even if it pays less or is unrelated to your field of study. having a lucrative major just puts you in the position to truly make the decision for yourself by broadening the amount of opportunities available to you
[quote=indigosummer]how do you fight the urge to not kill yourself?
i commute everday
everyday i wake up and do this shit, uni 4/7 days and work 2/7. i hate my job even tho it pays really well for a student. i fucking hate customer service it has made me realize how dumb the average person who walks into a bank is. i hate going to school and not majoring in what i love because im terrified of not being able to find a job because i 100% will not be able to live on my own with how expensive housing is in my city. i hate how ive given up on the concept of having a family and have convinced myself that id be happy without children because i know it's too expensive, despite how much i love my huge extended family. i had to give up my PC to my brother when the semester started so im even more isolated from my hobbies and passions because i can't hang out with my online friends in the evening, and play videogames socially to unwind. im making decent money currently and im absolutely terrified to spend it on anything, i only spend it on eating out several times a week because i love cooking and eating food from different cultures, and even then i feel sick looking at my credit card bill, despite it usually being under 100 bucks.
what's even the point of doing any of this?[/quote]
life is long and will eventually end. might as well ride it out. if it really is rock bottom, then there is nowhere to go but up
i will say that a degree does not lock you into a career or a job for the rest of your life. you can absolutely still find employment in something you love even if it pays less or is unrelated to your field of study. having a lucrative major just puts you in the position to truly make the decision for yourself by broadening the amount of opportunities available to you
i commute everday
everyday i wake up and do this shit, uni 4/7 days and work 2/7. i hate my job even tho it pays really well for a student. i fucking hate customer service it has made me realize how dumb the average person who walks into a bank is. i hate going to school and not majoring in what i love because im terrified of not being able to find a job because i 100% will not be able to live on my own with how expensive housing is in my city. i hate how ive given up on the concept of having a family and have convinced myself that id be happy without children because i know it's too expensive, despite how much i love my huge extended family. i had to give up my PC to my brother when the semester started so im even more isolated from my hobbies and passions because i can't hang out with my online friends in the evening, and play videogames socially to unwind. im making decent money currently and im absolutely terrified to spend it on anything, i only spend it on eating out several times a week because i love cooking and eating food from different cultures, and even then i feel sick looking at my credit card bill, despite it usually being under 100 bucks.
what's even the point of doing any of this?[/quote]
life is long and will eventually end. might as well ride it out. if it really is rock bottom, then there is nowhere to go but up
i will say that a degree does not lock you into a career or a job for the rest of your life. you can absolutely still find employment in something you love even if it pays less or is unrelated to your field of study. having a lucrative major just puts you in the position to truly make the decision for yourself by broadening the amount of opportunities available to you
Air_
having something other than work or studies is important, some people have videogames, a partner, hobbies, or something like that. someone or something to make their lives less "empty"
you should also look into therapy, suicidal thoughts are serious. for something immediate you can do right now that won't cost any money, is just start writing down your feelings. every day i write down on paper how many times i thought about hurting myself, the reasons i thought about it, and write the last time i remember feeling good. going back and looking on it, the worse i feel the longer i think its been since i felt good. if i'm having a not so bad day, when i write i'll often remember the last time i felt good as that same day, or the day before. if i'm having a really bad day, then sometimes it'll be weeks ago when i remember feeling "happy". more than once its saved my life by being able to compartmentalize my thoughts and feelings in the moments that they overwhelm me, and realize that the way i'm feeling is temporary. the same is true for you, this is all temporary. you may feel trapped in this cycle now but your life could be different far faster than you think. feeling this way makes it extremely hard to actually look past how you're feeling and think about the future realistically.
the point to doing all of this is whatever you decide the point is for you, only you can give meaning to your life. you decide for yourself what will make you happy, and it seems like you're well on your way to achieving that yourself. whatever it is you love that you want to major in can be your passion, and whatever you're going for now is a means to an end.
i don't know anything about you other than what you've posted but if you're considering suicide as an option i implore you to reach out for help. your family, your friends, therapy, even me if you feel like you can't turn to any of them for whatever reason. everyone has something that can and will make them happy its just a matter of reaching it, and the only way to guarantee you have no chance of being happy is to take your own life.
i do write a lot actually, and it's kind of sad to say but ive gone through my journal and everything i ever write is when im sad. i do have happy days and i agree, writing both the good and bad is important but i don't ever feel like writing when im very happy. ive used books / writing as a form of escapism for a very long time, it's why i wanted to pursue english but again, no money in an arts degree. i honestly do not care for having an extravagant life, just want to make enough money to support myself and have enough savings to travel once or twice a year. for what it's worth im turning 19 in a few months and i know i have a lot of time to change my life but it's so terrifying taking the first steps without a proper support system.
warriordragon12
life is long and will eventually end. might as well ride it out. if it really is rock bottom, then there is nowhere to go but up
i will say that a degree does not lock you into a career or a job for the rest of your life. you can absolutely still find employment in something you love even if it pays less or is unrelated to your field of study. having a lucrative major just puts you in the position to truly make the decision for yourself by broadening the amount of opportunities available to you
yeah i totally get that, and my siblings even told me to study what i love, but as soon as second semester gr12 hs hit, i got so much pressure from everyone in my family to not fuck this up, iirc you can prob relate as you also come from a desi background. if ur not a doctor engineer lawyer or accountant you're doing it wrong.
[quote=Air_]
having something other than work or studies is important, some people have videogames, a partner, hobbies, or something like that. someone or something to make their lives less "empty"
you should also look into therapy, suicidal thoughts are serious. for something immediate you can do right now that won't cost any money, is just start writing down your feelings. every day i write down on paper how many times i thought about hurting myself, the reasons i thought about it, and write the last time i remember feeling good. going back and looking on it, the worse i feel the longer i think its been since i felt good. if i'm having a not so bad day, when i write i'll often remember the last time i felt good as that same day, or the day before. if i'm having a really bad day, then sometimes it'll be weeks ago when i remember feeling "happy". more than once its saved my life by being able to compartmentalize my thoughts and feelings in the moments that they overwhelm me, and realize that the way i'm feeling is temporary. the same is true for you, this is all temporary. you may feel trapped in this cycle now but your life could be different far faster than you think. feeling this way makes it extremely hard to actually look past how you're feeling and think about the future realistically.
the point to doing all of this is whatever you decide the point is for you, only you can give meaning to your life. you decide for yourself what will make you happy, and it seems like you're well on your way to achieving that yourself. whatever it is you love that you want to major in can be your passion, and whatever you're going for now is a means to an end.
i don't know anything about you other than what you've posted but if you're considering suicide as an option i implore you to reach out for help. your family, your friends, therapy, even me if you feel like you can't turn to any of them for whatever reason. everyone has something that can and will make them happy its just a matter of reaching it, and the only way to guarantee you have no chance of being happy is to take your own life.[/quote]
i do write a lot actually, and it's kind of sad to say but ive gone through my journal and everything i ever write is when im sad. i do have happy days and i agree, writing both the good and bad is important but i don't ever feel like writing when im very happy. ive used books / writing as a form of escapism for a very long time, it's why i wanted to pursue english but again, no money in an arts degree. i honestly do not care for having an extravagant life, just want to make enough money to support myself and have enough savings to travel once or twice a year. for what it's worth im turning 19 in a few months and i know i have a lot of time to change my life but it's so terrifying taking the first steps without a proper support system.
[quote=warriordragon12]
life is long and will eventually end. might as well ride it out. if it really is rock bottom, then there is nowhere to go but up
i will say that a degree does not lock you into a career or a job for the rest of your life. you can absolutely still find employment in something you love even if it pays less or is unrelated to your field of study. having a lucrative major just puts you in the position to truly make the decision for yourself by broadening the amount of opportunities available to you[/quote]
yeah i totally get that, and my siblings even told me to study what i love, but as soon as second semester gr12 hs hit, i got so much pressure from everyone in my family to not fuck this up, iirc you can prob relate as you also come from a desi background. if ur not a doctor engineer lawyer or accountant you're doing it wrong.
having something other than work or studies is important, some people have videogames, a partner, hobbies, or something like that. someone or something to make their lives less "empty"
you should also look into therapy, suicidal thoughts are serious. for something immediate you can do right now that won't cost any money, is just start writing down your feelings. every day i write down on paper how many times i thought about hurting myself, the reasons i thought about it, and write the last time i remember feeling good. going back and looking on it, the worse i feel the longer i think its been since i felt good. if i'm having a not so bad day, when i write i'll often remember the last time i felt good as that same day, or the day before. if i'm having a really bad day, then sometimes it'll be weeks ago when i remember feeling "happy". more than once its saved my life by being able to compartmentalize my thoughts and feelings in the moments that they overwhelm me, and realize that the way i'm feeling is temporary. the same is true for you, this is all temporary. you may feel trapped in this cycle now but your life could be different far faster than you think. feeling this way makes it extremely hard to actually look past how you're feeling and think about the future realistically.
the point to doing all of this is whatever you decide the point is for you, only you can give meaning to your life. you decide for yourself what will make you happy, and it seems like you're well on your way to achieving that yourself. whatever it is you love that you want to major in can be your passion, and whatever you're going for now is a means to an end.
i don't know anything about you other than what you've posted but if you're considering suicide as an option i implore you to reach out for help. your family, your friends, therapy, even me if you feel like you can't turn to any of them for whatever reason. everyone has something that can and will make them happy its just a matter of reaching it, and the only way to guarantee you have no chance of being happy is to take your own life.[/quote]
i do write a lot actually, and it's kind of sad to say but ive gone through my journal and everything i ever write is when im sad. i do have happy days and i agree, writing both the good and bad is important but i don't ever feel like writing when im very happy. ive used books / writing as a form of escapism for a very long time, it's why i wanted to pursue english but again, no money in an arts degree. i honestly do not care for having an extravagant life, just want to make enough money to support myself and have enough savings to travel once or twice a year. for what it's worth im turning 19 in a few months and i know i have a lot of time to change my life but it's so terrifying taking the first steps without a proper support system.
[quote=warriordragon12]
life is long and will eventually end. might as well ride it out. if it really is rock bottom, then there is nowhere to go but up
i will say that a degree does not lock you into a career or a job for the rest of your life. you can absolutely still find employment in something you love even if it pays less or is unrelated to your field of study. having a lucrative major just puts you in the position to truly make the decision for yourself by broadening the amount of opportunities available to you[/quote]
yeah i totally get that, and my siblings even told me to study what i love, but as soon as second semester gr12 hs hit, i got so much pressure from everyone in my family to not fuck this up, iirc you can prob relate as you also come from a desi background. if ur not a doctor engineer lawyer or accountant you're doing it wrong.
This game needs a vibe check cuz it ain’t hittin like it use to. Also I’ve been watching some streams to try to catch up on the plots and man the lingo players use now is beyond cringe. Let me find out niggas talk like this in person LOL
#maketf2greatagain
#whyispugchampdead
This game needs a vibe check cuz it ain’t hittin like it use to. Also I’ve been watching some streams to try to catch up on the plots and man the lingo players use now is beyond cringe. Let me find out niggas talk like this in person LOL
#maketf2greatagain
#whyispugchampdead
#maketf2greatagain
#whyispugchampdead
fenomenoThis game needs a vibe check cuz it ain’t hittin like it use to. Also I’ve been watching some streams to try to catch up on the plots and man the lingo players use now is beyond cringe. Let me find out niggas talk like this in person LOL
#maketf2greatagain
#whyispugchampdead
please go away for another 3 years or more
[quote=fenomeno]This game needs a vibe check cuz it ain’t hittin like it use to. Also I’ve been watching some streams to try to catch up on the plots and man the lingo players use now is beyond cringe. Let me find out niggas talk like this in person LOL
#maketf2greatagain
#whyispugchampdead[/quote]
please go away for another 3 years or more
#maketf2greatagain
#whyispugchampdead[/quote]
please go away for another 3 years or more
Air_fenomenoThis game needs a vibe check cuz it ain’t hittin like it use to. Also I’ve been watching some streams to try to catch up on the plots and man the lingo players use now is beyond cringe. Let me find out niggas talk like this in person LOL
#maketf2greatagain
#whyispugchampdead
please go away for another 3 years or more
I’m only here till quarantines over or potentially end of summer dw
[quote=Air_][quote=fenomeno]This game needs a vibe check cuz it ain’t hittin like it use to. Also I’ve been watching some streams to try to catch up on the plots and man the lingo players use now is beyond cringe. Let me find out niggas talk like this in person LOL
#maketf2greatagain
#whyispugchampdead[/quote]
please go away for another 3 years or more[/quote]
I’m only here till quarantines over or potentially end of summer dw
#maketf2greatagain
#whyispugchampdead[/quote]
please go away for another 3 years or more[/quote]
I’m only here till quarantines over or potentially end of summer dw
uni took my money and won't confirm my returning status, I'm fuming
uni took my money and won't confirm my returning status, I'm fuming
I hate how people hate other people without ever talking to them
I hate how people hate other people without ever talking to them
just bought this twitter egirls onlyfans cause it’s on sale... it sucks so much man
just bought this twitter egirls onlyfans cause it’s on sale... it sucks so much man
I have 3rd place in this game I speedrun and I have been trying for like 2 months to get the WR or even just 2nd place but I've choked every attempt that's been close
I have 3rd place in this game I speedrun and I have been trying for like 2 months to get the WR or even just 2nd place but I've choked every attempt that's been close
my lizard passed away this morning, barely two years old
my mind is just racing with anger at myself and shame about all the things i could have done differently
she deserved a full happy life and i couldnt give that to her
my lizard passed away this morning, barely two years old
my mind is just racing with anger at myself and shame about all the things i could have done differently
she deserved a full happy life and i couldnt give that to her
my mind is just racing with anger at myself and shame about all the things i could have done differently
she deserved a full happy life and i couldnt give that to her
I was super excited to move into my new condo, but it has renovations going on around it for the next 3 months. They start every day at 7 am and end at 10 pm. I work from home usually. One of the workers is playing shape of you by ed sheeran.
I was super excited to move into my new condo, but it has renovations going on around it for the next 3 months. They start every day at 7 am and end at 10 pm. I work from home usually. One of the workers is playing shape of you by ed sheeran.
Use "alltrails" app captain zidgel for hiking
Or grab a trail map from the visitor center of the park
Make sure u know what trail name you're following and follow the color strips that they put on trees or rocks so it's easy to follow along not everything is perfect but that's some simple advice I can give you
I used to do trail work in PA and hiked more than half of the state parks in PA (there are 121 state parks in PA)
Use "alltrails" app captain zidgel for hiking
Or grab a trail map from the visitor center of the park
Make sure u know what trail name you're following and follow the color strips that they put on trees or rocks so it's easy to follow along not everything is perfect but that's some simple advice I can give you
I used to do trail work in PA and hiked more than half of the state parks in PA (there are 121 state parks in PA)
Or grab a trail map from the visitor center of the park
Make sure u know what trail name you're following and follow the color strips that they put on trees or rocks so it's easy to follow along not everything is perfect but that's some simple advice I can give you
I used to do trail work in PA and hiked more than half of the state parks in PA (there are 121 state parks in PA)
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