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srs business
posted in Off Topic
1
#1
37 Frags +

hay, i'm not here to troll on this one i'd like some serious advice so please if you would mind reading and giving your honest opinion or just leaving with a down frag to express your opinion Thank you.

i'm 17 years old, some people would consider me an adult, my parents are lax and not so controlling i would say but the problem lies in me being treated like i'm 10 years old. I have a strict 10 o clock bedtime and i still have to ask my parents if i can use the computer, I have a set list of chores and i wasn't allowed to get my learners permit for driving until a few months ago. I'm frequently scrutinized for playing video games instead of having a more social life but frankly i've moved towns/states so frequently that i haven't finished a school year before moving. My parents do not give me anything for doing these chores as i understand plenty of people receive a monthly or weekly allowance, even my sister is given money weekly, i do not have a phone which makes it doubly hard to plan any social events with friends, i can't help but feel trapped and really i'm forced to conform because i only have the 1 thing i like doing...i'm a man and will admit, i was close to tears today because i explained my situation to my mother and step father and the only thing they said was "wahh" and he went on to explain that he works 2 jobs (purely out of choice).

I guess what i'm asking is how do i free myself from these bonds and become my own me :| i'm sorry if you found this sad or it ruined your day but please don't make fun of me.

hay, i'm not here to troll on this one i'd like some serious advice so please if you would mind reading and giving your honest opinion or just leaving with a down frag to express your opinion Thank you.


i'm 17 years old, some people would consider me an adult, my parents are lax and not so controlling i would say but the problem lies in me being treated like i'm 10 years old. I have a strict 10 o clock bedtime and i still have to ask my parents if i can use the computer, I have a set list of chores and i wasn't allowed to get my learners permit for driving until a few months ago. I'm frequently scrutinized for playing video games instead of having a more social life but frankly i've moved towns/states so frequently that i haven't finished a school year before moving. My parents do not give me anything for doing these chores as i understand plenty of people receive a monthly or weekly allowance, even my sister is given money weekly, i do not have a phone which makes it doubly hard to plan any social events with friends, i can't help but feel trapped and really i'm forced to conform because i only have the 1 thing i like doing...i'm a man and will admit, i was close to tears today because i explained my situation to my mother and step father and the only thing they said was "wahh" and he went on to explain that he works 2 jobs (purely out of choice).

I guess what i'm asking is how do i free myself from these bonds and become my own me :| i'm sorry if you found this sad or it ruined your day but please don't make fun of me.
2
#2
13 Frags +

Try and get a job.

Try and get a job.
3
#3
14 Frags +

Become 18.

Become 18.
4
#4
6 Frags +
trogTry and get a job.

i don't have a way to get anywhere, my house is around 15-20 miles away from any larger cities, there is a gas station down the road that is family run which is where they get gas for work form.

[quote=trog]Try and get a job.[/quote]
i don't have a way to get anywhere, my house is around 15-20 miles away from any larger cities, there is a gas station down the road that is family run which is where they get gas for work form.
5
#5
6 Frags +

Have you tried talking to your parents about how unhappy you feel about the situation they've seemed to force you into?

Have you tried talking to your parents about how unhappy you feel about the situation they've seemed to force you into?
6
#6
7 Frags +
zephyrHave you tried talking to your parents about how unhappy you feel about situation they've seem to force you into?

yes, the problem is they don't see it from my perspective, i tried to explain it but they just said that i was bitching and moaning.

honestly just getting this out here is lifts a huge fucking load off my chest man.

[quote=zephyr]Have you tried talking to your parents about how unhappy you feel about situation they've seem to force you into?[/quote]
yes, the problem is they don't see it from my perspective, i tried to explain it but they just said that i was bitching and moaning.

honestly just getting this out here is lifts a huge fucking load off my chest man.
7
#7
6 Frags +

that really sucks...
not sure what you can do

Tell them you are a responsible, 17 year old, and want to be treated as so(assuming this is who you are)

that really sucks...
not sure what you can do

Tell them you are a responsible, 17 year old, and want to be treated as so(assuming this is who you are)
8
#8
5 Frags +

What kind of marks do you get in school? They probably throw all of your "short-comings" at the fact that you play video games frequently. Seems like the best thing for you to do is to try to get a job, ask your parents if they can help you get a job in town. If they're not willing to do that then you'll have to try and convince them that you'll be stuck at home forever unless they magically purchase you a vehicle.

What kind of marks do you get in school? They probably throw all of your "short-comings" at the fact that you play video games frequently. Seems like the best thing for you to do is to try to get a job, ask your parents if they can help you get a job in town. If they're not willing to do that then you'll have to try and convince them that you'll be stuck at home forever unless they magically purchase you a vehicle.
9
#9
10 Frags +

I used to have this problem, eventually my parents ended up not giving a fuck when the new year hit. They told me if I'm late to school/work whatever shit it is my problem. I used to fight with them almost daily on this subject and I always used to have that exact bedtime, they got tired of the fighting, and it's no longer an issue anymore because they stopped bugging me about it. I get my chores done, my work done, and they get their stuff done and it's a non-issue.

For me I just lived through it and eventually the problem just faded away when they saw I was getting more responsible in my schoolwork, money management, and job(mind you I come from a family of Jehovah's Witnesses, and I am one myself), we now all live in relative peace.

Get a job, this is great advice, your parents will see you as more responsible and controlling, get good grades, anything to prove to your parents that you are becoming a responsible independent person.

I hope it's a phase for your parents, maybe it is or it isn't but I wish you the best of luck either way.

I used to have this problem, eventually my parents ended up not giving a fuck when the new year hit. They told me if I'm late to school/work whatever shit it is my problem. I used to fight with them almost daily on this subject and I always used to have that exact bedtime, they got tired of the fighting, and it's no longer an issue anymore because they stopped bugging me about it. I get my chores done, my work done, and they get their stuff done and it's a non-issue.

For me I just lived through it and eventually the problem just faded away when they saw I was getting more responsible in my schoolwork, money management, and job(mind you I come from a family of Jehovah's Witnesses, and I am one myself), we now all live in relative peace.

Get a job, this is great advice, your parents will see you as more responsible and controlling, get good grades, anything to prove to your parents that you are becoming a responsible independent person.

I hope it's a phase for your parents, maybe it is or it isn't but I wish you the best of luck either way.
10
#10
18 Frags +

also what kind of a fucking parent says "wahh" to their child holy fuck

also what kind of a fucking parent says "wahh" to their child holy fuck
11
#11
1 Frags +

i have like a 2.6 - 2.8 gpa, and i'm pretty responsible, my work is usually done because i can't use the computer until it is i guess i could bring up the subject of a job sometime, it wouldn't hurt.

i have like a 2.6 - 2.8 gpa, and i'm pretty responsible, my work is usually done because i can't use the computer until it is i guess i could bring up the subject of a job sometime, it wouldn't hurt.
12
#12
-27 Frags +
Saltysally1i have like a 2.6 - 2.8 gpa

how

[quote=Saltysally1]i have like a 2.6 - 2.8 gpa[/quote]
how
13
#13
4 Frags +

10 o clock bedtime, holy angelina jolie

10 o clock bedtime, holy angelina jolie
14
#14
27 Frags +
elliott_Saltysally1i have like a 2.6 - 2.8 gpahow

dont be a dick man. for some people school doesnt come as easy

[quote=elliott_][quote=Saltysally1]i have like a 2.6 - 2.8 gpa[/quote]
how[/quote]
dont be a dick man. for some people school doesnt come as easy
15
#15
3 Frags +

Take up another hobby that's more social. Sports, music, anything that might get you out around other people.

Take up another hobby that's more social. Sports, music, anything that might get you out around other people.
16
#16
4 Frags +

You're 17, things turn around quickly. Embrace that they think you're ten before they're like "You're 18, move out."

You're 17, things turn around quickly. Embrace that they think you're ten before they're like "You're 18, move out."
17
#17
0 Frags +

They are right about being more social. I know it sucks living out in nowhereland and it sucks even more constantly moving around and not being able to establish friends at your own convenience, but right now you're at the perfect place to learn how to make friends (highschool) and trust me that is a skill you will not only want but need to survive and make any sort of progress in your own life after you do become independent. I used to be very non-social spending like 100 hours a week on tf2 but once I stopped and looked at the real world i realized how unhealthy having 1 activity you enjoy is (imo a big sign of depression if all you look forward too is the computer). Life sucks, and especially sucks if you're a very different person than the people who control you. But once you turn 18 you should realize that the only person who can 100% dictate what you do and how you do it is you.

Also get a job pretty hard to be independent without any money unless you wanna live(?) off of the government your entire life.

They are right about being more social. I know it sucks living out in nowhereland and it sucks even more constantly moving around and not being able to establish friends at your own convenience, but right now you're at the perfect place to learn how to make friends (highschool) and trust me that is a skill you will not only want but need to survive and make any sort of progress in your own life after you do become independent. I used to be very non-social spending like 100 hours a week on tf2 but once I stopped and looked at the real world i realized how unhealthy having 1 activity you enjoy is (imo a big sign of depression if all you look forward too is the computer). Life sucks, and especially sucks if you're a very different person than the people who control you. But once you turn 18 you should realize that the only person who can 100% dictate what you do and how you do it is you.

Also get a job pretty hard to be independent without any money unless you wanna live(?) off of the government your entire life.
18
#18
0 Frags +

deal with it until you move out / go to college. Sounds like you only have 1 more year left? Besides that, sooner or later you will realize its not good to play a lot of videogames, so I suggest looking for another hobby (#17 hit the nail on the head).

deal with it until you move out / go to college. Sounds like you only have 1 more year left? Besides that, sooner or later you will realize its not good to play a lot of videogames, so I suggest looking for another hobby (#17 hit the nail on the head).
19
#19
4 Frags +
arkonelliott_Saltysally1i have like a 2.6 - 2.8 gpahowdont be a dick man. for some people school doesnt come as easy

Yeah, sorry that was pretty dickish. But complaining about a bedtime when you have a crummy GPA is kinda dumb. A big respect thing is doing your work well and excelling, and it's almost a guarantee his parents would let him get away with a lot more if his grades were a lot better.

[quote=arkon][quote=elliott_][quote=Saltysally1]i have like a 2.6 - 2.8 gpa[/quote]
how[/quote]
dont be a dick man. for some people school doesnt come as easy[/quote]
Yeah, sorry that was pretty dickish. But complaining about a bedtime when you have a crummy GPA is kinda dumb. A big respect thing is doing your work well and excelling, and it's almost a guarantee his parents would let him get away with a lot more if his grades were a lot better.
20
#20
4 Frags +
Saltysally1i explained my situation to my mother and step father and the only thing they said was "wahh" and he went on to explain that he works 2 jobs (purely out of choice).

I fucking hate it when parents do that. You try to be serious and have an adult discussion with them about something you think is important, but every time they look at you they still see a little kid who doesn't know shit.

If you can't get them to treat you like a man when you try to talk to them, then the only thing you can really do is wait until you are able to move out. Or, if you're really desperate, you can join the military.

[quote=Saltysally1]i explained my situation to my mother and step father and the only thing they said was "wahh" and he went on to explain that he works 2 jobs (purely out of choice).[/quote]
I fucking hate it when parents do that. You try to be serious and have an adult discussion with them about something you think is important, but every time they look at you they still see a little kid who doesn't know shit.

If you can't get them to treat you like a man when you try to talk to them, then the only thing you can really do is wait until you are able to move out. Or, if you're really desperate, you can join the military.
21
#21
-7 Frags +
elliott_arkonelliott_Saltysally1i have like a 2.6 - 2.8 gpahowdont be a dick man. for some people school doesnt come as easyYeah, sorry that was pretty dickish. But complaining about a bedtime when you have a crummy GPA is kinda dumb. A big respect thing is doing your work well and excelling, and it's almost a guarantee his parents would let him get away with a lot more if his grades were a lot better.

Wtf is wrong with 2.6??

[quote=elliott_][quote=arkon][quote=elliott_][quote=Saltysally1]i have like a 2.6 - 2.8 gpa[/quote]
how[/quote]
dont be a dick man. for some people school doesnt come as easy[/quote]
Yeah, sorry that was pretty dickish. But complaining about a bedtime when you have a crummy GPA is kinda dumb. A big respect thing is doing your work well and excelling, and it's almost a guarantee his parents would let him get away with a lot more if his grades were a lot better.[/quote]

Wtf is wrong with 2.6??
22
#22
2 Frags +
the301stspartanelliott_arkonelliott_Saltysally1i have like a 2.6 - 2.8 gpahowdont be a dick man. for some people school doesnt come as easyYeah, sorry that was pretty dickish. But complaining about a bedtime when you have a crummy GPA is kinda dumb. A big respect thing is doing your work well and excelling, and it's almost a guarantee his parents would let him get away with a lot more if his grades were a lot better.
Wtf is wrong with 2.6??

Might just be a bias on my part, but I've failed 3 classes and have a 3.4

[quote=the301stspartan][quote=elliott_][quote=arkon][quote=elliott_][quote=Saltysally1]i have like a 2.6 - 2.8 gpa[/quote]
how[/quote]
dont be a dick man. for some people school doesnt come as easy[/quote]
Yeah, sorry that was pretty dickish. But complaining about a bedtime when you have a crummy GPA is kinda dumb. A big respect thing is doing your work well and excelling, and it's almost a guarantee his parents would let him get away with a lot more if his grades were a lot better.[/quote]

Wtf is wrong with 2.6??[/quote]
Might just be a bias on my part, but I've failed 3 classes and have a 3.4
23
#23
1 Frags +
the301stspartanelliott_arkonelliott_Saltysally1i have like a 2.6 - 2.8 gpahowdont be a dick man. for some people school doesnt come as easyYeah, sorry that was pretty dickish. But complaining about a bedtime when you have a crummy GPA is kinda dumb. A big respect thing is doing your work well and excelling, and it's almost a guarantee his parents would let him get away with a lot more if his grades were a lot better.
Wtf is wrong with 2.6??

A 2.6, without insane test scores, is basically a death sentence for post-secondary education.
3.0 is touching the border for most colleges in the US.

[quote=the301stspartan][quote=elliott_][quote=arkon][quote=elliott_][quote=Saltysally1]i have like a 2.6 - 2.8 gpa[/quote]
how[/quote]
dont be a dick man. for some people school doesnt come as easy[/quote]
Yeah, sorry that was pretty dickish. But complaining about a bedtime when you have a crummy GPA is kinda dumb. A big respect thing is doing your work well and excelling, and it's almost a guarantee his parents would let him get away with a lot more if his grades were a lot better.[/quote]

Wtf is wrong with 2.6??[/quote]
A 2.6, without insane test scores, is basically a death sentence for post-secondary education.
3.0 is touching the border for most colleges in the US.
24
#24
0 Frags +

you can *easily* obtain a post secondary education with even a complete garbage HS GPA as long as your SATs are good.

2.5 was what I came out of HS with and I got a full ride because of achievements in other areas lol.

you can *easily* obtain a post secondary education with even a complete garbage HS GPA as long as your SATs are good.

2.5 was what I came out of HS with and I got a full ride because of achievements in other areas lol.
25
#25
-4 Frags +
Marxistyou can *easily* obtain a post secondary education with even a complete garbage HS GPA as long as your SATs are good.

2.5 was what I came out of HS with and I got a full ride because of achievements in other areas lol.

I made a 31 on my ACT and I'm probably not going to college because I can't get a scholarship :(

[quote=Marxist]you can *easily* obtain a post secondary education with even a complete garbage HS GPA as long as your SATs are good.

2.5 was what I came out of HS with and I got a full ride because of achievements in other areas lol.[/quote]
I made a 31 on my ACT and I'm probably not going to college because I can't get a scholarship :(
26
#26
0 Frags +
DrPloxothe301stspartanelliott_arkonelliott_Saltysally1i have like a 2.6 - 2.8 gpahowdont be a dick man. for some people school doesnt come as easyYeah, sorry that was pretty dickish. But complaining about a bedtime when you have a crummy GPA is kinda dumb. A big respect thing is doing your work well and excelling, and it's almost a guarantee his parents would let him get away with a lot more if his grades were a lot better.
Wtf is wrong with 2.6??
A 2.6, without insane test scores, is basically a death sentence for post-secondary education.
3.0 is touching the border for most colleges in the US.

I guess I just have no idea what I am talking about. I assumed 2.6 was like a high C (you use letters right?). Yes, I have no idea. Disregard everything, I never posted here.

[quote=DrPloxo][quote=the301stspartan][quote=elliott_][quote=arkon][quote=elliott_][quote=Saltysally1]i have like a 2.6 - 2.8 gpa[/quote]
how[/quote]
dont be a dick man. for some people school doesnt come as easy[/quote]
Yeah, sorry that was pretty dickish. But complaining about a bedtime when you have a crummy GPA is kinda dumb. A big respect thing is doing your work well and excelling, and it's almost a guarantee his parents would let him get away with a lot more if his grades were a lot better.[/quote]

Wtf is wrong with 2.6??[/quote]
A 2.6, without insane test scores, is basically a death sentence for post-secondary education.
3.0 is touching the border for most colleges in the US.[/quote]


I guess I just have no idea what I am talking about. I assumed 2.6 was like a high C (you use letters right?). Yes, I have no idea. Disregard everything, I never posted here.
27
#27
8 Frags +
elliott_I've failed 3 classes and have a 3.4

That seems a lot less likely than having trouble with school and getting a 2.8.

On Salty's OP:

Most parents (hopefully yours too) just want their kid to be successful, and most parents (unfortunately) define successful as either exactly how their life turned out or super monetarily rich.

From this, there are a few things you can do to encourage your parents to treat you more as a peer than as a "10 year old".
1. Focus on improving your grades in the long run. It may take some time but even showing your parents that you did really well on a hard test/project/etc. will make them feel as if you can/will be successful. Studying really hard and doing well on a standardized test and showing your parents that you are really proud of your score will also work wonders here.
2. Make sure they see you doing whatever "good" things you are doing. My parents feel that I don't do enough studying because by the time they get home from work (7 pm most nights) they just see me playing videogames. To counter this I show them the actual work I have completed, which really helps them to feel better about my life.
3. Get a parent-approved hobby. Do your parents like running? Drawing? Fantasy Football? It doesn't matter. Pick an activity you can get involved with your parents in. This can also be an opportunity to express your maturity.
4. Become their peers in your interactions. Speak clearly without slang or curse words. Don't make childish excuses. The other 3 suggestions I made are also helpful in this fourth endeavor.

TL;DR Treat your parents as peers, choose to act/speak maturely, and they will most likely reciprocate.

[quote=elliott_]I've failed 3 classes and have a 3.4[/quote]

That seems a lot less likely than having trouble with school and getting a 2.8.


On Salty's OP:

Most parents (hopefully yours too) just want their kid to be successful, and most parents (unfortunately) define successful as either exactly how their life turned out or super monetarily rich.

From this, there are a few things you can do to encourage your parents to treat you more as a peer than as a "10 year old".
1. Focus on improving your grades in the long run. It may take some time but even showing your parents that you did really well on a hard test/project/etc. will make them feel as if you can/will be successful. Studying really hard and doing well on a standardized test and showing your parents that you are really proud of your score will also work wonders here.
2. Make sure they see you doing whatever "good" things you are doing. My parents feel that I don't do enough studying because by the time they get home from work (7 pm most nights) they just see me playing videogames. To counter this I show them the actual work I have completed, which really helps them to feel better about my life.
3. Get a parent-approved hobby. Do your parents like running? Drawing? Fantasy Football? It doesn't matter. Pick an activity you can get involved with your parents in. This can also be an opportunity to express your maturity.
4. Become their peers in your interactions. Speak clearly without slang or curse words. Don't make childish excuses. The other 3 suggestions I made are also helpful in this fourth endeavor.

TL;DR Treat your parents as peers, choose to act/speak maturely, and they will most likely reciprocate.
28
#28
7 Frags +

I have this same issue bot not to the extreme you have it. I basically get out of not being able to use the computer by doing a couple things you can probably try.

1. Get good grades. Don't fail any tests or anything and work hard on homework and projects when you need to. If you have good grades your parents can't blame the computer for "getting a D in that class".
2. Get a sport/hobby. If your school has something you might enjoy doing, like basketball, Model UN or lacrosse or something (I run track and cross country), join it and participate in that activity a couple things will happen. You'll get to have fun, your parents will probably enjoy watching you play baseball games or whatever you choose to do and that always helps, but third you open yourself to a whole other group of friends which helps...
3. Don't spend weekends on the computer. I'll admit some weekends I have nothing to do, and I might dm or play borderlands for a couple hours, but save tf2 for scrim hours and pug hours. On the weekends you can work a job or hang out with friends. If your parents tell you they don't see you much spend some time with them, watch tv with them for an hour or something.
If you feel like this might stretch time typically i get home from school at 3:30, have sports until 5:30, home at 6, done eating at 7, do homework and get it done, scrims at 8:30 (for myself in central time at least).

Why won't your parents let you have a phone? Is it the bill? Get a job and offer to pay for some of it. Do they think you can't handle the responsibility? Explain to them calmly how having a phone will help you reach out to friends and have a social life, and help them keep track of you and provide an easy way to connect with you quick.

See if you can get them to explain why they treat you this way and find some valid counterpoints.

Also most importantly, keep a positive attitude. Don't speak down to your parents, don't talk trash about them. If you are talking with your parents about how your school day went or what you are working on, be positive. That will help immensly.

I don't know if this will help because its more tailored to my parents but I hope you can apply some of it.

I have this same issue bot not to the extreme you have it. I basically get out of not being able to use the computer by doing a couple things you can probably try.

1. Get good grades. Don't fail any tests or anything and work hard on homework and projects when you need to. If you have good grades your parents can't blame the computer for "getting a D in that class".
2. Get a sport/hobby. If your school has something you might enjoy doing, like basketball, Model UN or lacrosse or something (I run track and cross country), join it and participate in that activity a couple things will happen. You'll get to have fun, your parents will probably enjoy watching you play baseball games or whatever you choose to do and that always helps, but third you open yourself to a whole other group of friends which helps...
3. Don't spend weekends on the computer. I'll admit some weekends I have nothing to do, and I might dm or play borderlands for a couple hours, but save tf2 for scrim hours and pug hours. On the weekends you can work a job or hang out with friends. If your parents tell you they don't see you much spend some time with them, watch tv with them for an hour or something.
If you feel like this might stretch time typically i get home from school at 3:30, have sports until 5:30, home at 6, done eating at 7, do homework and get it done, scrims at 8:30 (for myself in central time at least).

Why won't your parents let you have a phone? Is it the bill? Get a job and offer to pay for some of it. Do they think you can't handle the responsibility? Explain to them calmly how having a phone will help you reach out to friends and have a social life, and help them keep track of you and provide an easy way to connect with you quick.

See if you can get them to explain why they treat you this way and find some valid counterpoints.

Also most importantly, [b]keep a positive attitude[/b]. Don't speak down to your parents, don't talk trash about them. If you are talking with your parents about how your school day went or what you are working on, be positive. That will help immensly.

I don't know if this will help because its more tailored to my parents but I hope you can apply some of it.
29
#29
2 Frags +

Even if you have a low high-school gpa, you still have the chance to do well at community college and transfer to a 4-year (it also saves money too!)

I would try to find something that you're passionate about or enjoy that can be hopefully turned into a relevant career in the future.

Even if you have a low high-school gpa, you still have the chance to do well at community college and transfer to a 4-year (it also saves money too!)

I would try to find something that you're passionate about or enjoy that can be hopefully turned into a relevant career in the future.
30
#30
4 Frags +

i put a +frag on your heart <3

i put a +frag on your heart <3
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