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Parting Words of Contradictory, RGLbanned Spy Main
posted in Off Topic
61
#61
21 Frags +

https://i.imgur.com/4T9w8cs.png

[img]https://i.imgur.com/4T9w8cs.png[/img]
62
#62
-5 Frags +
AKarihave you tried not being a creep

I'm genuinely not. Anything I said I said literally because I was being either encouraged to or outright instructed to. There's literally proof of that in several of the screenshots posted.

I understand most of you are entering this thread having already decided I'm Guilty and probably determined to hate me, a complete stranger to you, regardless. But like, come on. At least work a little bit for the zinger. This shit's gettin' old.

[quote=AKari]have you tried not being a creep[/quote]

I'm genuinely not. Anything I said I said literally because I was being either encouraged to or outright instructed to. There's literally proof of that in several of the screenshots posted.

I understand most of you are entering this thread having already decided I'm Guilty and probably determined to hate me, a complete stranger to you, regardless. But like, come on. At least work a little bit for the zinger. This shit's gettin' old.
63
#63
4 Frags +

idk weird you speak of critical thinking and mob justice with no evidence but ITT you are talking about doing an hero over this which threatening harm is one of the reasons you got banned for

idk weird you speak of critical thinking and mob justice with no evidence but ITT you are talking about doing an hero over this which threatening harm is one of the reasons you got banned for
64
#64
-6 Frags +
quintoshidk weird you speak of critical thinking and mob justice with no evidence but ITT you are talking about doing an hero over this which threatening harm is one of the reasons you got banned for

I'm pretty sure "threats of harm" referred to [redacted]. I don't think anyone's getting banned from RGL for experiencing suicidal thoughts. Were THAT the case I'd have been gone in February.

I've said like three different times in this thread alone that I'm determined to live through this and explained past incidents of suicidal thinking due to being innocent of the worst things people say about me and still being painted a monster. Pretend you actually believe me for just a moment, and tell me why you wouldn't want to die when entire years of good will and IRL community get stolen from you for no good reason.

My only actually-good takeaway from this is "I should probably stop arguing with people in groups if they're willing to permanently taint my reputation just to get rid of me". I already kept my fucking hands to myself, I don't even like being touched. I already made sure I wasn't sending unsolicited shit to anybody, only acting with encouragement or instruction. I already made a continuous effort to be sportsmanlike and nice. Shit didn't fucking matter. I trusted the wrong people, online & offline, and the price was Everything Except My Pulse.

None of you are willing to understand that feeling. And even if you were willing to understand it, I truly don't think you could understand exactly how damaging that is unless something like it happens to you. Being a good, ethical person doesn't fucking matter if the right two or three people want you dead anyway. Sometimes it only takes one.

[quote=quintosh]idk weird you speak of critical thinking and mob justice with no evidence but ITT you are talking about doing an hero over this which threatening harm is one of the reasons you got banned for[/quote]

I'm pretty sure "threats of harm" referred to [redacted]. I don't think anyone's getting banned from RGL for experiencing suicidal thoughts. Were THAT the case I'd have been gone in February.

I've said like three different times in this thread alone that I'm determined to live through this and explained past incidents of suicidal thinking due to being innocent of the worst things people say about me and still being painted a monster. [b]Pretend you actually believe me for just a moment, and tell me why you [i]wouldn't[/i] want to die when entire years of good will and IRL community get stolen from you for no good reason.[/b]

My only actually-good takeaway from this is "I should probably stop arguing with people in groups if they're willing to permanently taint my reputation just to get rid of me". I [i]already[/i] kept my fucking hands to myself, I don't even like being touched. I [i]already[/i] made sure I wasn't sending unsolicited shit to anybody, only acting with encouragement or instruction. I [i]already[/i] made a continuous effort to be sportsmanlike and nice. Shit didn't fucking matter. I trusted the wrong people, online & offline, and the price was Everything Except My Pulse.

None of you are willing to understand that feeling. And even if you [i]were[/i] willing to understand it, I truly don't think you [i]could[/i] understand exactly how damaging that is unless something like it happens to you. Being a good, ethical person doesn't fucking matter if the right two or three people want you dead anyway. Sometimes it only takes one.
65
#65
14 Frags +

why do you continue to post? are you mentally deficient? sincerely do not respond to any more of these posts. you fucking idiot. this might be the dumbest shit ive ever seen on this website man... and ive been here since september '08.

why do you continue to post? are you mentally deficient? sincerely do not respond to any more of these posts. you fucking idiot. this might be the dumbest shit ive ever seen on this website man... and ive been here since september '08.
66
#66
1 Frags +

didnt u erp with someones spotify status on discord

didnt u erp with someones spotify status on discord
67
#67
5 Frags +

Positive growth? What season did that happen in? Was it before or after
Leeching off team mates promising them you'd get a job and pay rent?

Being such an unwashed cretin you scared a child into crying by your stench alone?

Not being a capable enough human to hold a dishwasher job for one day?

Or was the positive growth giving 5 more cents to a beggar than you ever gave to the people who were housing you?

Or was it posting about a former team members career choice on the tf2 Reddit for upvotes?

"Oh but I'm getting witch hunted my actions are being controlled by others, it's not my fault!"

You did this shit ten years ago and clearly have continued the behaviour, you aren't the victim here.

Idk what you thought would happen when you posted this, you must be craving the negative attention because it's clearly the only attention you can get. Deplorable wretch you are.

But hey, what else could someone expect from a spy main.

Positive growth? What season did that happen in? Was it before or after
Leeching off team mates promising them you'd get a job and pay rent?

Being such an unwashed cretin you scared a child into crying by your stench alone?

Not being a capable enough human to hold a dishwasher job for one day?

Or was the positive growth giving 5 more cents to a beggar than you ever gave to the people who were housing you?

Or was it posting about a former team members career choice on the tf2 Reddit for upvotes?

"Oh but I'm getting witch hunted my actions are being controlled by others, it's not my fault!"

You did this shit ten years ago and clearly have continued the behaviour, you aren't the victim here.

Idk what you thought would happen when you posted this, you must be craving the negative attention because it's clearly the only attention you can get. Deplorable wretch you are.

But hey, what else could someone expect from a spy main.
68
#68
-6 Frags +
SheoPositive growth? What season did that happen in? Was it before or after
blah blah blah

I'm referring to my time in Colorado. I was paying $1600/mo for my own place for over 2 years, I had a community to call my own and several friends within it, I was taking pretty good care of my body and my health, and I was keeping a healthy Top 5 spot in tournaments w/o tanking my career or spending nearly as much time as others were labbing the game.

The Virginia roommates you're referring to— hilarious that y'all are still salty all this time later, by the way— received my share of rent/bills every month from when I got a job until I moved out, including half my income for the last month. This was despite the fact I knew I was gonna dip on the 14th instead of literally giving up all my shit before leaving, as they were demanding. They took me in within days of me turning 19, promised me an escape from an abusive home w/ a guaranteed job, didn't get me one until months later (which lasted a week, made less money, and was across town w/o a ride?), and continuously treated me like garbage even when I was paying my share. Nevermind one of the two quitting their own job before I even started mine, further worsening the situation.

None of the things you've just said are relevant in any way to accusations made against me within TF2 or the CO FGC, though, so idk what you could even mean by "continued the behavior". I had a hell of a fucking glow up. We've also never even held a single conversation, so you coming here with all this unsubstantiated secondhand hating really does just strengthen the point about witch hunting.

Honestly though, I'm glad you showed up. As far as you people specifically are concerned, I'm not sorry for shit. I at least still feel some measure of remorse for my recent actions within the TF2 community and my needless jackassery there & in the CO FGC server, but y'all? Lol. Die mad about it.

[quote=Sheo]Positive growth? What season did that happen in? Was it before or after
blah blah blah [/quote]

I'm referring to my time in Colorado. I was paying $1600/mo for my own place for over 2 years, I had a community to call my own and several friends within it, I was taking pretty good care of my body and my health, and I was keeping a healthy Top 5 spot in tournaments w/o tanking my career or spending nearly as much time as others were labbing the game.

The Virginia roommates you're referring to— [i]hilarious[/i] that y'all are still salty all this time later, by the way— received my share of rent/bills every month from when I got a job until I moved out, including half my income for the last month. This was despite the fact I knew I was gonna dip on the 14th instead of literally giving up all my shit before leaving, as they were demanding. They took me in within days of me turning 19, promised me an escape from an abusive home w/ a guaranteed job, didn't get me one until months later (which lasted a week, made less money, and was across town w/o a ride?), and continuously treated me like garbage even when I was paying my share. Nevermind one of the two quitting their own job before I even started mine, further worsening the situation.

None of the things you've just said are relevant in any way to accusations made against me within TF2 or the CO FGC, though, so idk what you could even mean by "continued the behavior". I had a hell of a fucking glow up. We've also never even held a single conversation, so you coming here with all this unsubstantiated secondhand hating really does just strengthen the point about witch hunting.

Honestly though, I'm glad you showed up. As far as you people specifically are concerned, I'm not sorry for shit. I at least still feel some measure of remorse for my recent actions within the TF2 community and my needless jackassery there & in the CO FGC server, but [i]y'all?[/i] Lol. Die mad about it.
69
#69
6 Frags +

https://i.imgur.com/0PJQ417.jpeg

[img]https://i.imgur.com/0PJQ417.jpeg[/img]
70
#70
5 Frags +

You never denied smelling so bad you made a kid cry but go off.

You never denied smelling so bad you made a kid cry but go off.
71
#71
-4 Frags +

I am a little bit sorry to Lightbringer, though. My bad, big dog. Shoulda just stayed in Georgia 'til I found another way out.

And Sheo, I said "unsubstantiated secondhand hating".

I [i]am[/i] a little bit sorry to Lightbringer, though. My bad, big dog. Shoulda just stayed in Georgia 'til I found another way out.

And Sheo, I said "unsubstantiated secondhand hating".
72
#72
12 Frags +

welcome to page 3

welcome to page 3
73
#73
-3 Frags +

take the plunge bro

take the plunge bro
74
#74
-9 Frags +
ikinclark561take the plunge bro

Oh boy, another stranger imploring I kill myself. Shame no one I give a shit about wants me to. Y'all are sad humans.

I knew from frame 1 this realistically wasn't going to accomplish anything. But it's actually been quite educational. Even in the face of evidence proving I'm innocent of the RGL ban offense, y'all are so ruthlessly bloodthirsty that shit simply does not matter to you. It's not about degrees of guilt, it's about having an acceptable target to direct completely unrestrained bile toward and, ideally, actually convince to fuck off the mortal coil without dirtying your own hands.

Besides typing a bunch of cruel things to a person you don't know and will never know. Y'all are more like me than I think you realize. Except, you know. I only did that shit because my former friend repeatedly told me to, and kept all my evil in a neat little box, just for them, because it was requested. Repeatedly. For two years.

Your evil is just naked, irrational contempt. It's low effort and barely personalized. What a sad state of affairs. Even here at the very end, I have no respect for any of you, no one's taken the challenge to match the receipts, and no one who'd even sort of have the right to order me to die about it has appeared. Argumentatively, you're just a bunch of weaker monsters with even less of a conscience.

Shit. If the majority of Comp TF2 players are like this, no wonder this game's deader than a bitch. This actually makes it way easier not to care. GGs. I'm bored.

[quote=ikinclark561]take the plunge bro[/quote]

Oh boy, another stranger imploring I kill myself. Shame no one I give a shit about wants me to. Y'all are sad humans.

I knew from frame 1 this realistically wasn't going to accomplish anything. But it's actually been quite educational. Even in the face of evidence proving I'm innocent of the RGL ban offense, y'all are so ruthlessly bloodthirsty that shit simply does not matter to you. It's not about degrees of guilt, it's about having an acceptable target to direct completely unrestrained bile toward and, ideally, actually convince to fuck off the mortal coil without dirtying your own hands.

Besides typing a bunch of cruel things to a person you don't know and will never know. Y'all are more like me than I think you realize. Except, you know. I only did that shit because my former friend repeatedly told me to, and kept all my evil in a neat little box, just for them, because it was requested. Repeatedly. For two years.

Your evil is just naked, irrational contempt. It's low effort and barely personalized. What a sad state of affairs. Even here at the very end, I have no respect for any of you, no one's taken the challenge to match the receipts, and no one who'd even sort of have the right to order me to die about it has appeared. Argumentatively, you're just a bunch of weaker monsters with even less of a conscience.

Shit. If the majority of Comp TF2 players are like this, no wonder this game's deader than a bitch. This actually makes it way easier not to care. GGs. I'm bored.
75
#75
3 Frags +

consume 1
contradictory 0

consume 1
contradictory 0
76
#76
1 Frags +

it was never about the evidence provided (which, by the way, is terrifying). it was about the self-importance and the absolute non-apology you gave. all you did was act defensively and try to justify your actions. not to mention the fact that you have a CONSISTENT history of being a creep, as well as a mooching slug.

you wanna talk about receipts? i can pull the screenshots from 2015 from you way overstepping your boundaries.

i know that you won't actually take this to heart, but maybe someone else will read this and actually be able to self-reflect.

i say again, good riddance.

it was never about the evidence provided (which, by the way, is terrifying). it was about the self-importance and the absolute non-apology you gave. all you did was act defensively and try to justify your actions. not to mention the fact that you have a CONSISTENT history of being a creep, as well as a mooching slug.

you wanna talk about receipts? i can pull the screenshots from 2015 from you way overstepping your boundaries.

i know that you won't actually take this to heart, but maybe someone else will read this and actually be able to self-reflect.


i say again, good riddance.
77
#77
-6 Frags +
pizzabootyit was never about the evidence provided (which, by the way, is terrifying). it was about the self-importance and the absolute non-apology you gave. all you did was act defensively and try to justify your actions. not to mention the fact that you have a CONSISTENT history of being a creep, as well as a mooching slug.

you wanna talk about receipts? i can pull the screenshots from 2015 from you way overstepping your boundaries.

i know that you won't actually take this to heart, but maybe someone else will read this and actually be able to self-reflect.

i say again, good riddance.

...no one I respect except you. Sorry, it's difficult to actually express remorse in scenarios where I actually didn't do shit or was directly instructed to be worse, as with CO FGC or [redacted].

But ngl, I WAS a pretty bad person 10 years ago. I've done my best to grow and change from it, but I actually don't doubt you have at least A receipt. Granted, that was 2014. And I actually did genuinely apologize. And to my knowledge I was forgiven a long time ago. She added me back, kept me around, bailed me out of some bills, even. That's a truly good person. That I still owe her a favor is one of my main reasons for not dying. I'd hate to make a person's good qualities an objective weakness.

But me then is not me now. The circumstances involve different people doing Very different things. You want self reflection? You got it, dude. I Can't excuse my actions with that friend from back then. I've never fucking tried to. But that same friend also forgave me and no such events have recurred since.

But it's been a god damn decade. Ain't no fuckin reason for anybody to be holding grudges, especially secondhand grudges, for that length of time. I went 2021-2024 completely on my own, and had no such disagreements with future roommates after 2014. I did in fact learn from my experiences in Virginia. I did in fact learn from almost destroying a friendship with overzealous ambitions. I did in fact change.

Unfortunately that change still brought us here. I had no reason to believe a friend would request me say monstrous things to them for reasons besides their own entertainment, but I sure as fuck didn't say it just because I felt like it. I had no reason to think being argumentative on such a grand scale would result in people manufacturing dirt where they couldn't find it— and believe me, COFGC did try. You wouldn't believe the questions I was asked at parties or after events. Or the fact I didn't tell them Shit because I didn't want to jeopardize time with a group of people I was treating like a found family. I cleaned up my act in every way I could think of to find and keep my ideal life and it truly didn't matter.

It saddens me to disappoint you. I at least appreciate you not joining the brigade of people ordering me to die, but like. Idk dude. 10 years. Different situations. You're the one who took the logic class. My past experiences are exactly why it took genuine betrayal for me to get knocked off that high horse I worked so hard for. Nothing else would've worked.

[quote=pizzabooty]it was never about the evidence provided (which, by the way, is terrifying). it was about the self-importance and the absolute non-apology you gave. all you did was act defensively and try to justify your actions. not to mention the fact that you have a CONSISTENT history of being a creep, as well as a mooching slug.

you wanna talk about receipts? i can pull the screenshots from 2015 from you way overstepping your boundaries.

i know that you won't actually take this to heart, but maybe someone else will read this and actually be able to self-reflect.

i say again, good riddance.[/quote]

...no one I respect except you. Sorry, it's difficult to actually express remorse in scenarios where I actually didn't do shit or was directly instructed to be worse, as with CO FGC or [redacted].

But ngl, I WAS a pretty bad person 10 years ago. I've done my best to grow and change from it, but I actually don't doubt you have at least A receipt. Granted, that was 2014. And I actually did genuinely apologize. And to my knowledge I was forgiven a long time ago. She added me back, kept me around, bailed me out of some bills, even. That's a truly good person. That I still owe her a favor is one of my main reasons for not dying. I'd hate to make a person's good qualities an objective weakness.

But me then is not me now. The circumstances involve different people doing Very different things. You want self reflection? You got it, dude. I Can't excuse my actions with that friend from back then. I've never fucking tried to. But that same friend also forgave me and no such events have recurred since.

But it's been a god damn decade. Ain't no fuckin reason for anybody to be holding grudges, especially secondhand grudges, for that length of time. I went 2021-2024 completely on my own, and had no such disagreements with future roommates after 2014. I did in fact learn from my experiences in Virginia. I did in fact learn from almost destroying a friendship with overzealous ambitions. I did in fact change.

Unfortunately that change still brought us here. I had no reason to believe a friend would request me say monstrous things to them for reasons besides their own entertainment, but I sure as fuck didn't say it just because I felt like it. I had no reason to think being argumentative on such a grand scale would result in people manufacturing dirt where they couldn't find it— and believe me, COFGC did try. You wouldn't believe the questions I was asked at parties or after events. Or the fact I didn't tell them Shit because I didn't want to jeopardize time with a group of people I was treating like a found family. I cleaned up my act in every way I could think of to find and keep my ideal life and it truly didn't matter.

It saddens me to disappoint you. I at least appreciate you not joining the brigade of people ordering me to die, but like. Idk dude. 10 years. Different situations. You're the one who took the logic class. My past experiences are exactly why it took genuine betrayal for me to get knocked off that high horse I worked so hard for. Nothing else would've worked.
78
#78
12 Frags +

Let me get this straight. You have admitted to being creepy towards women in the past, you are banned statewide from FGCs for being creepy to women, and now you are banned from RGL for being creepy to women. Along with this you have posted screenshots of you being creepy towards someone who is giving you very little response, all of which is outside of this November timeframe where you said you crashed out and "hyper-fixated" on this person. And you want people to believe that everyone across these communities is just lying about you for fun and none of this ever happened? You also haven't been told the accusation from RGL and we are simply meant to believe that this was the accusation and that it is the only one. It sounds like, from the ban wording and the people who have interacted with you, that this is probably not the only person in RGL you've been creepy towards. Looks like a very obvious pattern of behavior across several years and around several different groups of people. The community is clearly safer without you.

Let me get this straight. You have admitted to being creepy towards women in the past, you are banned statewide from FGCs for being creepy to women, and now you are banned from RGL for being creepy to women. Along with this you have posted screenshots of you being creepy towards someone who is giving you very little response, all of which is outside of this November timeframe where you said you crashed out and "hyper-fixated" on this person. And you want people to believe that everyone across these communities is just lying about you for fun and none of this ever happened? You also haven't been told the accusation from RGL and we are simply meant to believe that this was the accusation and that it is the only one. It sounds like, from the ban wording and the people who have interacted with you, that this is probably not the only person in RGL you've been creepy towards. Looks like a very obvious pattern of behavior across several years and around several different groups of people. The community is clearly safer without you.
79
#79
-8 Frags +
ChhaamAnd you want people to believe that everyone across these communities is just lying about you for fun and none of this ever happened?

Jesus, use an Enter key.

As far as the CO FGC shit goes, yes, because it literally did not fucking happen. Nobody had their arm touched. Hell I was such a violent germaphobe post-covid that I didn't even touch our arcade machines or allow people to touch me aside from occasional fistbumps. I never broached NSFW topics with ANY of them. I made a point not to engage when they broached those topics with me. I didn't want to lose a local community that I cherished.

As for Events Of A Literal Decade Ago, yes. I was creepy to one person 10 years ago at the beginning of our friendship. They cut ties. I reflected, changed. We reconnected. Nothing ever happened again. They can attest to that. We became better friends for the established boundaries afterward. It contributed to me being more conscious of people's boundaries in relationships, not less.

As for [redacted] in RGL, again. I ask repeatedly if this is actually the desired form of communication. Not only am I told yes, but I'm repeatedly encouraged to do it more & Worse. If someone's telling me to keep doing it, exactly why the fuck am I supposed to think there's a problem?

And I'm quite confident that [redacted] is the only accusation from RGL, don't think that "probably not the only person" you slipped in there got past me. I haven't said shit like that to ANYBODY else. As I said prior, it was evil I kept in a little box, just for them, because they asked for it. Repeatedly. If someone doesn't want me to say monstrous shit to them, I expect at least a "you don't need to do that" one of ten different times I fucking ask. I sure don't fucking tell them "I hope you realize this brings me joy".

[quote=Chhaam]And you want people to believe that everyone across these communities is just lying about you for fun and none of this ever happened?[/quote]

Jesus, use an Enter key.

As far as the CO FGC shit goes, yes, because it [i]literally did not fucking happen[/i]. Nobody had their arm touched. Hell I was such a violent germaphobe post-covid that I didn't even touch our arcade machines or allow people to touch me aside from occasional fistbumps. I never broached NSFW topics with ANY of them. I made a point not to engage when they broached those topics with me. I didn't want to lose a local community that I cherished.

As for Events Of A Literal Decade Ago, yes. I was creepy to one person 10 years ago at the beginning of our friendship. They cut ties. I reflected, changed. We reconnected. Nothing ever happened again. They can attest to that. We became better friends for the established boundaries afterward. It contributed to me being [i]more[/i] conscious of people's boundaries in relationships, not [i]less[/i].

As for [redacted] in RGL, again. I ask repeatedly if this is actually the desired form of communication. Not only am I told yes, but I'm repeatedly encouraged to do it more & Worse. [b]If someone's telling me to keep doing it, exactly [i]why the fuck am I supposed to think there's a problem[/i]?[/b]

And I'm [b][i]quite[/i][/b] confident that [redacted] is the only accusation from RGL, don't think that "probably not the only person" you slipped in there got past me. I haven't said shit like that to ANYBODY else. As I said prior, it was evil I kept in a little box, just for them, because they asked for it. Repeatedly. If someone doesn't want me to say monstrous shit to them, I expect at least a "you don't need to do that" one of ten different times I fucking ask. I sure don't fucking tell them "I hope you realize this brings me joy".
80
#80
15 Frags +

I don't know who you are or what you've done but these screenshots are HILARIOUS. Thank you for making me laugh at your complete social ineptitude.

I don't know who you are or what you've done but these screenshots are HILARIOUS. Thank you for making me laugh at your complete social ineptitude.
81
#81
-7 Frags +

Anyway, it seems this thread has served its purpose. It was never intended as a ban appeal, just an explanation as to how I could justify saying such monstrous things to a person. The answer being "because they told me to. Repeatedly. Here are the screenshots proving that on several occasions." Obviously I had reservations. I admitted both that I was creeping myself out (to which the direct reply was that I Wasn't creeping them out despite all the unhinged things I'd said) and that my actual motivations were more wholesome than just having a friend who liked making me look crazy. It was fun to play the part of a monster for a friend who wanted that from me, but I really genuinely just wanted to keep my friend and actually do something fun or meaningful with our time instead.

In hindsight, the only purpose besides their own entertainment seemed to be taking me out of context behind closed doors, culminating in this.

My only regrets with [redacted] are actually trusting them and simply playing a part for validation instead of recognizing my own boundaries and just. Not giving them what they wanted in place of the actual friendship we once had. I'm under no illusions the screenshots make me look good, but they also show me actually checking the boundaries and being told repeatedly to keep acting crazy. That doing so brought [redacted] joy. That I wasn't being creepy despite creeping myself out. That the monstrosity was all they really wanted from me.

My only regrets elsewhere are being so needlessly conflict-hungry that I gave people a reason to want to be rid of me, to the point they'd outright manufacture a reason to do it. It's killed me twice, now.

Regarding 10 years ago, it's old news. I was desperate to escape the abusive environment that made me and I made mistakes. I did what I thought I had to to survive. I would regret those actions more if my roommates from back then hadn't made a point to treat me like trash once I was trapped with them, and continued the one-sided hate affair for years after. The one thing I can't rationalize or explain is my actions toward a friend prior to that move, but I was forgiven a year later and that person became one of my oldest, closest friends afterwards.

I don't expect anyone to believe me or agree with me. Not publicly. I wouldn't touch this shit with a ten foot pole if I weren't hopelessly entrenched in it. I apologized to one of my friends about the ripples of this catching them and they told me "this hasn't impacted me in any way besides being worried about my friend. I don't believe you're a groper or a bad person. you just make poor decisions." And truthfully, I don't have an argument for that. Good decisions wouldn't have brought me here. But I also wouldn't be here if people weren't desperate enough to tear me down that they have to dig up dirt to do it, or lie when they don't know where to find it.

Ultimately people are gonna believe what they want to. The only receipt I can't argue against is a decade-old one I've long been forgiven for. The next was a lie from outside the TF2 community that nearly made me kill myself. The next was entrapment that probably would have sealed the deal if they'd gone all in when I wanted to die the first two times. Now, it's just kinda funny to me. A bunch of strangers want me dead because they believe a lie about arm touching. Some others are just willfully overlooking the evidence that my only actual recent creepy behavior was directly, repeatedly encouraged from me.

I don't care anymore. Game was fun. Most of the people, kinda the worst. But in some ways, I'm the worst guy of them all. I treated the stealth class like a duelist and played too honestly for my own good, down to the cruel, bitter end. I regret little. Fuck y'all. I'm out.

Anyway, it seems this thread has served its purpose. It was never intended as a ban appeal, just an explanation as to how I could justify saying such monstrous things to a person. The answer being [b]"because they told me to. [i]Repeatedly[/i]. Here are the screenshots proving that on several occasions."[/b] Obviously I had reservations. I admitted both that I was creeping myself out (to which the direct reply was that I Wasn't creeping them out despite all the unhinged things I'd said) and that my actual motivations were more wholesome than just having a friend who liked making me look crazy. It was fun to play the part of a monster for a friend who wanted that from me, but I really [i]genuinely[/i] just wanted to keep my friend and actually do something fun or meaningful with our time instead.

In hindsight, the only purpose besides their own entertainment seemed to be taking me out of context behind closed doors, culminating in this.

My only regrets with [redacted] are actually trusting them and simply playing a part for validation instead of recognizing my own boundaries and just. [b]Not[/b] giving them what they wanted in place of the actual friendship we once had. I'm under no illusions the screenshots make me look good, but they also show me actually checking the boundaries and being told repeatedly to keep acting crazy. That doing so brought [redacted] joy. That I wasn't being creepy despite creeping myself out. That the monstrosity was all they really wanted from me.

My only regrets [i]elsewhere[/i] are being so needlessly conflict-hungry that I gave people a reason to want to be rid of me, to the point they'd outright manufacture a reason to do it. It's killed me twice, now.

Regarding 10 years ago, it's old news. I was desperate to escape the abusive environment that made me and I made mistakes. I did what I thought I had to to survive. I would regret those actions more if my roommates from back then hadn't made a point to treat me like trash once I was trapped with them, and continued the one-sided hate affair for years after. The [i]one[/i] thing I can't rationalize or explain is my actions toward a friend prior to that move, but I was forgiven a year later and that person became one of my oldest, closest friends afterwards.

I don't expect anyone to believe me or agree with me. Not publicly. I wouldn't touch this shit with a ten foot pole if I weren't hopelessly entrenched in it. I apologized to one of my friends about the ripples of this catching them and they told me "this hasn't impacted me in any way besides being worried about my friend. I don't believe you're a groper or a bad person. you just make poor decisions." And truthfully, I don't have an argument for that. Good decisions wouldn't have brought me here. But I [b]also[/b] wouldn't be here if people weren't desperate enough to tear me down that they have to dig up dirt to do it, or lie when they don't know where to find it.

Ultimately people are gonna believe what they want to. The only receipt I can't argue against is a decade-old one I've long been forgiven for. The next was a lie from outside the TF2 community that nearly made me kill myself. The next was entrapment that probably would have sealed the deal if they'd gone all in when I wanted to die the first two times. Now, it's just kinda funny to me. A bunch of strangers want me dead because they believe a lie about arm touching. Some others are just willfully overlooking the evidence that my only actual recent creepy behavior was directly, repeatedly encouraged from me.

I don't care anymore. Game was fun. Most of the people, kinda the worst. But in some ways, I'm the worst guy of them all. I treated the stealth class like a duelist and played too honestly for my own good, down to the cruel, bitter end. I regret little. [b][i]Fuck y'all[/i][/b]. I'm out.
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#82
4 Frags +

https://imgur.com/a/UzuQAP6

https://imgur.com/a/UzuQAP6
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#83
15 Frags +

everyones hating on this guy but we havent even heard his side of the story yet

everyones hating on this guy but we havent even heard his side of the story yet
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#84
16 Frags +
ContraMost of the people, kinda the worst. But in some ways, I'm the worst guy of them all. I treated the stealth class like a duelist and played too honestly for my own good, down to the cruel, bitter end.

you're not the worst guy of them all because you were awful at spy. you're the worst because you're a bizarre creep. hope that helps.

[quote=Contra]Most of the people, kinda the worst. But in some ways, I'm the worst guy of them all. I treated the stealth class like a duelist and played too honestly for my own good, down to the cruel, bitter end.[/quote]
you're not the worst guy of them all because you were awful at spy. you're the worst because you're a bizarre creep. hope that helps.
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#85
0 Frags +

every couple years i come back to see what still is posted here. never disappoints

every couple years i come back to see what still is posted here. never disappoints
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#86
-4 Frags +
DavyCContraMost of the people, kinda the worst. But in some ways, I'm the worst guy of them all. I treated the stealth class like a duelist and played too honestly for my own good, down to the cruel, bitter end.you're not the worst guy of them all because you were awful at spy. you're the worst because you're a bizarre creep. hope that helps.

Aw, thanks. But you'll find it difficult to convince someone they're genuinely a creep when they were literally instructed to say the creepy thing at every turn. Still don't get why that's being overlooked. Like, fr fr. They told me to and I proved as much. Several times over. Had I not been told to repeatedly, I wouldn't have said creepy thing at all. My repeatedly-stated preference would've been the hat-based murder simulator we all play.

That's what I mean by "played honestly"- it's my universal policy. Haven't lied in years. I genuinely consider it a waste of time. I can obviously see in hindsight I shouldn't have said that shit, but at the time I was literally told to keep saying it, that doing so brought them joy, and it was all that was asked of me. Genuinely don't know what the fuck I was supposed to think.

[quote=DavyC][quote=Contra]Most of the people, kinda the worst. But in some ways, I'm the worst guy of them all. I treated the stealth class like a duelist and played too honestly for my own good, down to the cruel, bitter end.[/quote]
you're not the worst guy of them all because you were awful at spy. you're the worst because you're a bizarre creep. hope that helps.[/quote]

Aw, thanks. But you'll find it difficult to convince someone they're genuinely a creep when they were literally instructed to say the creepy thing at every turn. Still don't get why that's being overlooked. Like, fr fr. They told me to and I proved as much. Several times over. Had I not been told to repeatedly, I wouldn't have said creepy thing at all. My repeatedly-stated preference would've been the hat-based murder simulator we all play.

That's what I mean by "played honestly"- it's my universal policy. Haven't lied in years. I genuinely consider it a waste of time. I can obviously see in hindsight I shouldn't have said that shit, but at the time I was literally told to keep saying it, that doing so brought them joy, and it was all that was asked of me. Genuinely don't know what the fuck I was supposed to think.
87
#87
1 Frags +

Strange how you didn't post any evidence during the period where you were "hyper-fixating" on this specific person. What exactly did you say to them and what did they respond with during that time? You'd think the period in which you think you were reported for would be the evidence you would try to refute. Just because you are friends with someone doesn't mean you can't start harassing them.

Strange how you didn't post any evidence during the period where you were "hyper-fixating" on this specific person. What exactly did you say to them and what did they respond with during that time? You'd think the period in which you think you were reported for would be the evidence you would try to refute. Just because you are friends with someone doesn't mean you can't start harassing them.
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#88
1 Frags +

Genuine advice here, C. Log off TFTV. Remove the site from your bookmarks and history. Do the same with RGL. You think you're defending yourself here, but you're just digging a hole using the shovels that everybody baiting you is tossing your way. Nothing good will come out of continuing to post, and nothing good has come out of this community for years. Move on and don't look back. Take care man.

Genuine advice here, C. Log off TFTV. Remove the site from your bookmarks and history. Do the same with RGL. You think you're defending yourself here, but you're just digging a hole using the shovels that everybody baiting you is tossing your way. Nothing good will come out of continuing to post, and nothing good has come out of this community for years. Move on and don't look back. Take care man.
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#89
-7 Frags +
LightbringerGenuine advice here, C. Log off TFTV. Remove the site from your bookmarks and history. Do the same with RGL. You think you're defending yourself here, but you're just digging a hole using the shovels that everybody baiting you is tossing your way. Nothing good will come out of continuing to post, and nothing good has come out of this community for years. Move on and don't look back. Take care man.

Good call. It was real. Thanks.

[quote=Lightbringer]Genuine advice here, C. Log off TFTV. Remove the site from your bookmarks and history. Do the same with RGL. You think you're defending yourself here, but you're just digging a hole using the shovels that everybody baiting you is tossing your way. Nothing good will come out of continuing to post, and nothing good has come out of this community for years. Move on and don't look back. Take care man.[/quote]

Good call. It was real. Thanks.
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#90
5 Frags +

Na keep posting

Na keep posting
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