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Dealing with pet loss
posted in Off Topic
1
#1
0 Frags +

How many of you have lost a best friend that was with you for a significant amount of time? I adopted a dog in 2011 and just a few weeks ago he died from an aggressive cancer that developed around his heart. He was, still is really, everything to me. As simple and corny as it may sound, he really was so much more than a dog to me. It's been over 5 weeks and I'm still in the process of grieving deeply. It's so hard to not think about all the saddest of things, like the weeks and days leading up to when I had to put him down, and that awful day itself.

I want to reach the point where I can just smile and remember the good times. But I also feel sad and guilty as time slips by, realizing that each day takes me further away from him in a sense.

If you have any advice or just want to share stories about your little loved ones, I'd love to hear them.

How many of you have lost a best friend that was with you for a significant amount of time? I adopted a dog in 2011 and just a few weeks ago he died from an aggressive cancer that developed around his heart. He was, still is really, everything to me. As simple and corny as it may sound, he really was so much more than a dog to me. It's been over 5 weeks and I'm still in the process of grieving deeply. It's so hard to not think about all the saddest of things, like the weeks and days leading up to when I had to put him down, and that awful day itself.

I want to reach the point where I can just smile and remember the good times. But I also feel sad and guilty as time slips by, realizing that each day takes me further away from him in a sense.

If you have any advice or just want to share stories about your little loved ones, I'd love to hear them.
2
#2
7 Frags +

The grieving process varies between people. Everyone grieves in their own way and at their own speed. I would say remembering the great life they received. Understand that feeling emotions is normal and may be good to let out. Definitely seek out help if you need it to assist you.

The grieving process varies between people. Everyone grieves in their own way and at their own speed. I would say remembering the great life they received. Understand that feeling emotions is normal and may be good to let out. Definitely seek out help if you need it to assist you.
3
#3
16 Frags +

I found out yesterday one of my little rats has terminal heart disease and it fucking sucks man. Especially because it's so rare that I started the wrong treatment for a month so now I'm blaming myself for not catching it sooner.I just hope the treatment I pick up tomorrow will help him a lot and keep him comfortable for a while.

I found out yesterday one of my little rats has terminal heart disease and it fucking sucks man. Especially because it's so rare that I started the wrong treatment for a month so now I'm blaming myself for not catching it sooner.I just hope the treatment I pick up tomorrow will help him a lot and keep him comfortable for a while.
4
#4
6 Frags +

I'm really sorry for your loss - it's such a hard thing to go through. I lost my dog the day before Easter this year, so just a few weeks ago - pretty close to when you lost your bud. For me, he had a day back a few months ago where he stopped being able to walk, so we brought him to the vet. Definitely seemed like that was gonna be his last day. Luckily he was better after being put on some medications for the time-being, but it was mostly just for comfort at that point. I just considered all my time with him after that to be "extra time" which helped me really appreciate the time he had left.

My advice would be to remember you did your best. It's easy to have regrets and beat yourself up over things you could've done better but based on the way you speak about him, it's pretty clear you gave him a lot of love. Feel free to add me too, I am sure we're both dealing with some of the same feelings.

I'm really sorry for your loss - it's such a hard thing to go through. I lost my dog the day before Easter this year, so just a few weeks ago - pretty close to when you lost your bud. For me, he had a day back a few months ago where he stopped being able to walk, so we brought him to the vet. Definitely seemed like that was gonna be his last day. Luckily he was better after being put on some medications for the time-being, but it was mostly just for comfort at that point. I just considered all my time with him after that to be "extra time" which helped me really appreciate the time he had left.

My advice would be to remember you did your best. It's easy to have regrets and beat yourself up over things you could've done better but based on the way you speak about him, it's pretty clear you gave him a lot of love. Feel free to add me too, I am sure we're both dealing with some of the same feelings.
5
#5
3 Frags +

Don't stop thinking about him, even if it hurts. It is far better to feel honest sadness than ignoring how you feel. It's okay to hurt sometimes. But as other people said above, never beat yourself up over anything. You only feel guilty because you loved him SO MUCH that you feel like it's impossible to let him go. That isn't true. Nothing is permanent unfortunately. But what you can hold onto forever is remembering him, and how much you both loved each other, because nobody can ever take that away from you. That happened and it's still happening. Each day only takes you further away from him in one sense, but some things can't be measured in days and weeks, you know? One day everything around us won't exist but that doesn't make them any less vivid at all, if anything it's the only reason they mean so much to us.
Always love your dog, and treat yourself alright too.

Don't stop thinking about him, even if it hurts. It is far better to feel honest sadness than ignoring how you feel. It's okay to hurt sometimes. But as other people said above, never beat yourself up over anything. You only feel guilty because you loved him SO MUCH that you feel like it's impossible to let him go. That isn't true. Nothing is permanent unfortunately. But what you can hold onto forever is remembering him, and how much you both loved each other, because nobody can ever take that away from you. That happened and it's still happening. Each day only takes you further away from him in one sense, but some things can't be measured in days and weeks, you know? One day everything around us won't exist but that doesn't make them any less vivid at all, if anything it's the only reason they mean so much to us.
Always love your dog, and treat yourself alright too.
6
#6
3 Frags +
crackbabydumpsterRats

Rats are actually such cool little creatures. Intelligent, clean, and totally capable of love and friendship with humans. I had two back around 2008. Their names were Brie and Barley. It's so sad that they only live 2-3 years.

[quote=crackbabydumpster]Rats[/quote]

Rats are actually such cool little creatures. Intelligent, clean, and totally capable of love and friendship with humans. I had two back around 2008. Their names were Brie and Barley. It's so sad that they only live 2-3 years.
7
#7
3 Frags +
PontI'm really sorry for your loss - it's such a hard thing to go through. I lost my dog the day before Easter this year, so just a few weeks ago - pretty close to when you lost your bud. For me, he had a day back a few months ago where he stopped being able to walk, so we brought him to the vet. Definitely seemed like that was gonna be his last day. Luckily he was better after being put on some medications for the time-being, but it was mostly just for comfort at that point. I just considered all my time with him after that to be "extra time" which helped me really appreciate the time he had left.

My advice would be to remember you did your best. It's easy to have regrets and beat yourself up over things you could've done better but based on the way you speak about him, it's pretty clear you gave him a lot of love. Feel free to add me too, I am sure we're both dealing with some of the same feelings.

Damn man. Reading this made me cry so hard. It reminded me of what I went through leading to his last day. It all started with this "episodes" that I later found out were caused by the tumor in his heart bleeding between this layer around the heart and the heart itself. It would cause these episodes where he would collapse and all he could do was lay there and hyperventilate to try and breathe, as the pressure of the bleed pressed against his heart and made breathing difficult. I went through 2 vet visits, and then it got so bad I finally took him to a hospital/specialist where they quickly found diagnosed his issue. They tapped his chest and pulled out 1/3 of a liter of blood. This relieved his symptoms drastically and they sent us home. They told me the median life exptancy without any intervention for that cancer was 12 days. I did a lot of things to try and sustain his life and make him comfortable. But 4 days after we left the hospital he bled again and I couldn't take watching him suffer like that and took away his pain.

It is so traumatic going through all of that. Thank you for sharing your story with me.

[quote=Pont]I'm really sorry for your loss - it's such a hard thing to go through. I lost my dog the day before Easter this year, so just a few weeks ago - pretty close to when you lost your bud. For me, he had a day back a few months ago where he stopped being able to walk, so we brought him to the vet. Definitely seemed like that was gonna be his last day. Luckily he was better after being put on some medications for the time-being, but it was mostly just for comfort at that point. I just considered all my time with him after that to be "extra time" which helped me really appreciate the time he had left.

My advice would be to remember you did your best. It's easy to have regrets and beat yourself up over things you could've done better but based on the way you speak about him, it's pretty clear you gave him a lot of love. Feel free to add me too, I am sure we're both dealing with some of the same feelings.[/quote]

Damn man. Reading this made me cry so hard. It reminded me of what I went through leading to his last day. It all started with this "episodes" that I later found out were caused by the tumor in his heart bleeding between this layer around the heart and the heart itself. It would cause these episodes where he would collapse and all he could do was lay there and hyperventilate to try and breathe, as the pressure of the bleed pressed against his heart and made breathing difficult. I went through 2 vet visits, and then it got so bad I finally took him to a hospital/specialist where they quickly found diagnosed his issue. They tapped his chest and pulled out 1/3 of a liter of blood. This relieved his symptoms drastically and they sent us home. They told me the median life exptancy without any intervention for that cancer was 12 days. I did a lot of things to try and sustain his life and make him comfortable. But 4 days after we left the hospital he bled again and I couldn't take watching him suffer like that and took away his pain.

It is so traumatic going through all of that. Thank you for sharing your story with me.
8
#8
2 Frags +
nykDon't stop thinking about him, even if it hurts. It is far better to feel honest sadness than ignoring how you feel. It's okay to hurt sometimes. But as other people said above, never beat yourself up over anything. You only feel guilty because you loved him SO MUCH that you feel like it's impossible to let him go. That isn't true. Nothing is permanent unfortunately. But what you can hold onto forever is remembering him, and how much you both loved each other, because nobody can ever take that away from you. That happened and it's still happening. Each day only takes you further away from him in one sense, but some things can't be measured in days and weeks, you know? One day everything around us won't exist but that doesn't make them any less vivid at all, if anything it's the only reason they mean so much to us.
Always love your dog, and treat yourself alright too.

Thank you for this comment. You are correct about it all. God bless you.

[quote=nyk]Don't stop thinking about him, even if it hurts. It is far better to feel honest sadness than ignoring how you feel. It's okay to hurt sometimes. But as other people said above, never beat yourself up over anything. You only feel guilty because you loved him SO MUCH that you feel like it's impossible to let him go. That isn't true. Nothing is permanent unfortunately. But what you can hold onto forever is remembering him, and how much you both loved each other, because nobody can ever take that away from you. That happened and it's still happening. Each day only takes you further away from him in one sense, but some things can't be measured in days and weeks, you know? One day everything around us won't exist but that doesn't make them any less vivid at all, if anything it's the only reason they mean so much to us.
Always love your dog, and treat yourself alright too.[/quote]

Thank you for this comment. You are correct about it all. God bless you.
9
#9
4 Frags +

The only way I’ve ever been able to deal with losing someone in my personal life (whether that be a pet, friend, or family member) is to just remember them. When I found out my friend Westin died, the only comfort I found was remembering the good times I had with him. If you remember those that have passed, they will live on in your heart.

The only way I’ve ever been able to deal with losing someone in my personal life (whether that be a pet, friend, or family member) is to just remember them. When I found out my friend Westin died, the only comfort I found was remembering the good times I had with him. If you remember those that have passed, they will live on in your heart.
10
#10
0 Frags +

Get a notebook and write something in it every day, and be honest about it. Random little things that reminded you of him, thoughts you're mulling over in your head wondering if you did them right or not, conversations you had about him with the people around you; things like that. Then read it back every month, or whenever you feel like he's slipping away in your memory.

But the most important thing you can do is to let him live on in your actions for as long as you're alive. Remember all those things your dog did that made you happy? Now it's your turn to make life better for the people you love, by carrying on doing those things in his stead and not letting that goodness disappear from the world.

Get a notebook and write something in it every day, and be honest about it. Random little things that reminded you of him, thoughts you're mulling over in your head wondering if you did them right or not, conversations you had about him with the people around you; things like that. Then read it back every month, or whenever you feel like he's slipping away in your memory.

But the most important thing you can do is to let him live on in your actions for as long as you're alive. Remember all those things your dog did that made you happy? Now it's your turn to make life better for the people you love, by carrying on doing those things in his stead and not letting that goodness disappear from the world.
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