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My Depression Story
posted in Off Topic
31
#31
3 Frags +

my younger cousin has depression and came very close to committing suicide a year ago. he and other students in his school who also have depression have since created a short film talking about their experiences and how they get through every day. it's inspired my cousin to go into film as a potential career and way to express what he's going through. keep on fighting and never be afraid to reach out if you're in a tough time. someone will always be willing to listen.

my younger cousin has depression and came very close to committing suicide a year ago. he and other students in his school who also have depression have since created a short film talking about their experiences and how they get through every day. it's inspired my cousin to go into film as a potential career and way to express what he's going through. keep on fighting and never be afraid to reach out if you're in a tough time. someone will always be willing to listen.
32
#32
-16 Frags +

You're a lying sociopath and have been outed as such on multiple fronts. You better get some serious psychological help while you're still young kid, or else you'll end up in prison after you get bored with being a pycho online and begin to look offline to feed your sadism and desire to have power over people (you've already begun to bridge this gap by doxxing people.)

Nothing you say has any credibility, your reputation is toast in this community. Get help, get a psychologist.

You're a lying sociopath and have been outed as such on multiple fronts. You better get some serious psychological help while you're still young kid, or else you'll end up in prison after you get bored with being a pycho online and begin to look offline to feed your sadism and desire to have power over people (you've already begun to bridge this gap by doxxing people.)

Nothing you say has any credibility, your reputation is toast in this community. Get help, get a psychologist.
33
#33
5 Frags +

A home life that included emotional and extreme physical abuse, the extent of my antisocial, depressive, and self harming behavior made school not great either, and being grounded for 5 straight years meant a non existent social life. that plus a very small family history of depression.

I dont know if I should blame my father for the issues that each therapist can attribute to him, i always had the option to call cps, but i never thought it was a good idea for one reason or another, maybe it wouldnt be so bad tomorrow, maybe it would be worse to be in foster care. plus he was my dad, yknow? you dont just call the cops on your dad. Eventually I was able to change my guardianship to my grandmother. God bless her.

I was diagnosed at around 16 or so? but I've felt depressed since 14 I think. 16~17 is when i started cutting as a way to cut down on the thoughts of actually killing myself. bartering system with my own depression. It started with a dull kitchen knife i had to grip the blade and pull the end to make the cut. I eventually switched from knives to razers. they are more easy to make the cut happen with, and you get a dull pain for a while from them as they heal. the dull pain helped me almost as much as the actual cutting to ease the internal discomfort. the cutting lasted till i was 18, and covered my chest/arms/legs. my left arm and chest got the brunt of it, being opposite my dominate hand, and both still have a couple keloid scars that I don't think will fade. If I get a tan, my scars show up a bit more than Id care for to be honest.

Brimmed with thoughts of failures and flaws and pros and cons i first attempted suicide at 18 i think? i had been to 2 different therapists who helped me try 6 different combinations of pills, school counselor, and had even talked to the pastor at a youth group I frequented. i spent countless insomnia ridden nights trying to figure out how come everything was always terrible. the only thing i came up with was that i deserved it, it was because of me. i didnt do that right thing enough. i wasnt good enough. that part still sticks with me. So i tried to hang myself. turns out 18 year old me was much more of an idiot than i thought i was, as i tried to do so with braided twine, not having any rope. this snapped when my weight hit it, and although i didnt know this at the time apparently I wasnt from enough distance to snap my neck. go figure more failure. the next few suicide attempts were nervous flickings at my wrist in the tub that i couldnt fully commit to. There is something very visceral about attempting to kill yourself by cutting yourself. seeing the blood, feeling the pain move slightly behind as the razor moves; it was all very daunting for me. I saw myself as a coward everytime. i couldnt fix the problem that was me by just killing myself. i kept pussyfooting around it and making it worse on everyone.

After going to a clinic for anxiety attacks, them seeing my current state and my scars/ still nearly fresh cuts forced me into an actual hospital visit for depression because i was a threat to myself. after being taken to a room specifically for suicide watch i was questioned for a while by two very nice nurses about why i wanted to kill myself and if i could please not want to do that any more. after telling them probably not to be honest i was told i had the choice to stay in the hospital for 2 weeks, or do 2 months of out-of-house therapy. i chose out-of-house and was lucky enough to be able to choose current therapist for that.

This made things worse as there were people with actual problems there. two women I remember very vividly from this group therapy, one had her house burn down, and the other was having a crisis because her husband and father and best friend all died within a month. they both were so nice and so sweet to me the whole time i was ordered to do the therapy. It would be a discredit to them to not mention how much of a struggle they were going through and still had that compassion for someone like me. the guilt for still feeling depressed after people like them, and my grandmother and friends trying to help was at an all time high.

Eventually I caved to the "easy way" again. I saved up 2 months prescriptions of remeron and depakote, 80 of one, 40 of the other. cant remember the doses. I sat down one planned night, with a 6 pack of hard cider. Surely I couldnt fail this attempt because i was too scared. You take the pills, wash it down with alcohol. and pass out and never get back up.

I made the mistake of saying goodbye to my two best friends at the time. I made them both promise not to say anything to anyone before I admitted it. and I trusted their word. I learned later that one of their wives heard me talking about it and called the police for him.

After about 2 hours passed since i had taken the pills i fell asleep. a short time later i was woken up by cops in my room and a flashlight in my eyes. I was under the legal drinking age, so this was an immediate uh oh moment, suicide attempt or not. after asking me to follow the flashlight with my eyes (which doesnt seem like a thing that would be pleasant/easy to do anyways with how bright they were and how i had just woken up from a pitch black room.) and me apparently failing. i was taken out to my own living room, made to put on my coat, made to sit down on my own coach and wait till the ambulance they were gonna make me take got there. 1 week stay in the pediatric ward, no clue why they put a 18-19 year old there. guilt from using that resource. 2-3 week stay in the mental health ward. locked behind two doors from the rest of the hospital with security at at least one. bars on the window. i was roomed with a pleasant old man. the acquantances i made vary from a a boy who thought he had the ability to control smoke and fire, to a 90 year old man who was in and out every couple months or so.

ive been to jail, and gone through processing, i promise this place was worse for my sanity than my stay there. i have no benchmark, but its left me even now with the thought that i will do anything in my power not to go back. i wanted to kill myself before, but it was only much worse during and for a while after my stay there.

At 21 i decided that i had a goal to complete that i couldnt complete while dead. and even after i complete it it still kind of stops me from killing myself for a long time after. its nothing i can accomplish for years so thats what i have to keep me ticking. turning 23 this year i have cut twice since then, small marks more to remind me that i can rather than with actual intent behind them. A therapist of mine once told me that not wanting to live, and wanting to die are two different things. i think he is right as i no longer really want to kill myself, but it is still really hard to find the will to live.

Also as much as I fully support everyone in getting the help they need and trying every option they morally can accept to try to get better. and love the responses that some of the community has given. It puts a sour taste in my mouth to notice this thread is yours Tury. i can only hope that that video along with your comments isnt a lie like much of what I heard from you when we were polite acquaintances. i truly hope this isnt another concept or human emotion you are using to exploit people. It pains me to agree with Battlemage, but if you havent gotten help since you lied and faked the death of a family member, you probably should soon.

A home life that included emotional and extreme physical abuse, the extent of my antisocial, depressive, and self harming behavior made school not great either, and being grounded for 5 straight years meant a non existent social life. that plus a very small family history of depression.

I dont know if I should blame my father for the issues that each therapist can attribute to him, i always had the option to call cps, but i never thought it was a good idea for one reason or another, maybe it wouldnt be so bad tomorrow, maybe it would be worse to be in foster care. plus he was my dad, yknow? you dont just call the cops on your dad. Eventually I was able to change my guardianship to my grandmother. God bless her.

I was diagnosed at around 16 or so? but I've felt depressed since 14 I think. 16~17 is when i started cutting as a way to cut down on the thoughts of actually killing myself. bartering system with my own depression. It started with a dull kitchen knife i had to grip the blade and pull the end to make the cut. I eventually switched from knives to razers. they are more easy to make the cut happen with, and you get a dull pain for a while from them as they heal. the dull pain helped me almost as much as the actual cutting to ease the internal discomfort. the cutting lasted till i was 18, and covered my chest/arms/legs. my left arm and chest got the brunt of it, being opposite my dominate hand, and both still have a couple keloid scars that I don't think will fade. If I get a tan, my scars show up a bit more than Id care for to be honest.

Brimmed with thoughts of failures and flaws and pros and cons i first attempted suicide at 18 i think? i had been to 2 different therapists who helped me try 6 different combinations of pills, school counselor, and had even talked to the pastor at a youth group I frequented. i spent countless insomnia ridden nights trying to figure out how come everything was always terrible. the only thing i came up with was that i deserved it, it was because of me. i didnt do that right thing enough. i wasnt good enough. that part still sticks with me. So i tried to hang myself. turns out 18 year old me was much more of an idiot than i thought i was, as i tried to do so with braided twine, not having any rope. this snapped when my weight hit it, and although i didnt know this at the time apparently I wasnt from enough distance to snap my neck. go figure more failure. the next few suicide attempts were nervous flickings at my wrist in the tub that i couldnt fully commit to. There is something very visceral about attempting to kill yourself by cutting yourself. seeing the blood, feeling the pain move slightly behind as the razor moves; it was all very daunting for me. I saw myself as a coward everytime. i couldnt fix the problem that was me by just killing myself. i kept pussyfooting around it and making it worse on everyone.

After going to a clinic for anxiety attacks, them seeing my current state and my scars/ still nearly fresh cuts forced me into an actual hospital visit for depression because i was a threat to myself. after being taken to a room specifically for suicide watch i was questioned for a while by two very nice nurses about why i wanted to kill myself and if i could please not want to do that any more. after telling them probably not to be honest i was told i had the choice to stay in the hospital for 2 weeks, or do 2 months of out-of-house therapy. i chose out-of-house and was lucky enough to be able to choose current therapist for that.

This made things worse as there were people with actual problems there. two women I remember very vividly from this group therapy, one had her house burn down, and the other was having a crisis because her husband and father and best friend all died within a month. they both were so nice and so sweet to me the whole time i was ordered to do the therapy. It would be a discredit to them to not mention how much of a struggle they were going through and still had that compassion for someone like me. the guilt for still feeling depressed after people like them, and my grandmother and friends trying to help was at an all time high.

Eventually I caved to the "easy way" again. I saved up 2 months prescriptions of remeron and depakote, 80 of one, 40 of the other. cant remember the doses. I sat down one planned night, with a 6 pack of hard cider. Surely I couldnt fail this attempt because i was too scared. You take the pills, wash it down with alcohol. and pass out and never get back up.

I made the mistake of saying goodbye to my two best friends at the time. I made them both promise not to say anything to anyone before I admitted it. and I trusted their word. I learned later that one of their wives heard me talking about it and called the police for him.

After about 2 hours passed since i had taken the pills i fell asleep. a short time later i was woken up by cops in my room and a flashlight in my eyes. I was under the legal drinking age, so this was an immediate uh oh moment, suicide attempt or not. after asking me to follow the flashlight with my eyes (which doesnt seem like a thing that would be pleasant/easy to do anyways with how bright they were and how i had just woken up from a pitch black room.) and me apparently failing. i was taken out to my own living room, made to put on my coat, made to sit down on my own coach and wait till the ambulance they were gonna make me take got there. 1 week stay in the pediatric ward, no clue why they put a 18-19 year old there. guilt from using that resource. 2-3 week stay in the mental health ward. locked behind two doors from the rest of the hospital with security at at least one. bars on the window. i was roomed with a pleasant old man. the acquantances i made vary from a a boy who thought he had the ability to control smoke and fire, to a 90 year old man who was in and out every couple months or so.

ive been to jail, and gone through processing, i promise this place was worse for my sanity than my stay there. i have no benchmark, but its left me even now with the thought that i will do anything in my power not to go back. i wanted to kill myself before, but it was only much worse during and for a while after my stay there.

At 21 i decided that i had a goal to complete that i couldnt complete while dead. and even after i complete it it still kind of stops me from killing myself for a long time after. its nothing i can accomplish for years so thats what i have to keep me ticking. turning 23 this year i have cut twice since then, small marks more to remind me that i can rather than with actual intent behind them. A therapist of mine once told me that not wanting to live, and wanting to die are two different things. i think he is right as i no longer really want to kill myself, but it is still really hard to find the will to live.



Also as much as I fully support everyone in getting the help they need and trying every option they morally can accept to try to get better. and love the responses that some of the community has given. It puts a sour taste in my mouth to notice this thread is yours Tury. i can only hope that that video along with your comments isnt a lie like much of what I heard from you when we were polite acquaintances. i truly hope this isnt another concept or human emotion you are using to exploit people. It pains me to agree with Battlemage, but if you havent gotten help since you lied and faked the death of a family member, you probably should soon.
34
#34
20 Frags +
BattleMagooYou're a lying sociopath and have been outed as such on multiple fronts. You better get some serious psychological help while you're still young kid, or else you'll end up in prison after you get bored with being a pycho online and begin to look offline to feed your sadism and desire to have power over people (you've already begun to bridge this gap by doxxing people.)

Nothing you say has any credibility, your reputation is toast in this community. Get help, get a psychologist.

massive words from a shockingly autistic vac banned engie main

[quote=BattleMagoo]You're a lying sociopath and have been outed as such on multiple fronts. You better get some serious psychological help while you're still young kid, or else you'll end up in prison after you get bored with being a pycho online and begin to look offline to feed your sadism and desire to have power over people (you've already begun to bridge this gap by doxxing people.)

Nothing you say has any credibility, your reputation is toast in this community. Get help, get a psychologist.[/quote]

massive words from a shockingly autistic vac banned engie main
35
#35
-20 Frags +

Wow, using autism as an insult? Okay. I didn't think they made people like you anymore.

It's 2016. We need to move on from using things like "gay" and "autistic" as insults. You're only breeding more hatred and misogyny online.

EDIT: Why don't you share your depression story with us, Saam? I remember you having a history of self harm.

Wow, using autism as an insult? Okay. I didn't think they made people like you anymore.

It's 2016. We need to move on from using things like "gay" and "autistic" as insults. You're only breeding more hatred and misogyny online.

EDIT: Why don't you share your depression story with us, Saam? I remember you having a history of self harm.
36
#36
3 Frags +

The first part of your post you act like a SJW warrior over the fact that someone called you a triggerword, then you get upset and insult someone else to make yourself feel better. Despite the fact that you are the one who bought cheats to make yourself seem as the all-powerful engie main you strive to one day be, you say others are psychos who desire power over others.

I'm sure you're going to say "I was trolling xD cx" but the fact of the matter is you literally paid for cheats and then got banned. Battlemagoo, you trolled yourself.

The first part of your post you act like a SJW warrior over the fact that someone called you a triggerword, then you get upset and insult someone else to make yourself feel better. Despite the fact that you are the one who bought cheats to make yourself seem as the all-powerful engie main you strive to one day be, you say others are psychos who desire power over others.


I'm sure you're going to say "I was trolling xD cx" but the fact of the matter is you literally paid for cheats and then got banned. Battlemagoo, you trolled yourself.
37
#37
2 Frags +

fuck depression, gl tury

fuck depression, gl tury
38
#38
-16 Frags +

Let's dispel the myth that Dentisting, Timba or I cheated on our mains. As UGC admins have been informed of and acknowledge, the cheats were used on alternate accounts which were linked with our main phone numbers. This banned our mains. If you want, you're free to go to sizzling stats and watch a few of our STVs.

Let's dispel the myth that Dentisting, Timba or I cheated on our mains. As UGC admins have been informed of and acknowledge, the cheats were used on alternate accounts which were linked with our main phone numbers. This banned our mains. If you want, you're free to go to sizzling stats and watch a few of our STVs.
39
#39
5 Frags +
BattleMagooYou're a lying sociopath and have been outed as such on multiple fronts. You better get some serious psychological help while you're still young kid. Nothing you say has any credibility

If you don't believe me for whatever reason that's fine, I mean I could show my prescriptions with my name on it and the discharge paperwork from the hospitals and the arm I cut on...

BattleMagooyour reputation is toast in this community.

My reputation isn't the best in the community, but coming from you of all people (vac banned engie main lmfao) that doesn't really bother me.

BattleMagoo(you've already begun to bridge this gap by DOXXING people.)

I've never doxxed anyone, how are you going to say that everything I said was a lie because I had no proof, but then you're going to accuse me of doxxing people without any proof???

[quote=BattleMagoo]You're a lying sociopath and have been outed as such on multiple fronts. You better get some serious psychological help while you're still young kid. Nothing you say has any credibility[/quote]

If you don't believe me for whatever reason that's fine, I mean I could show my prescriptions with my name on it and the discharge paperwork from the hospitals and the arm I cut on...

[quote=BattleMagoo]your reputation is toast in this community.[/quote]

My reputation isn't the best in the community, but coming from you of all people (vac banned engie main lmfao) that doesn't really bother me.

[quote=BattleMagoo](you've already begun to bridge this gap by [b][u]DOXXING[/u][/b] people.)[/quote]

I've never doxxed anyone, how are you going to say that everything I said was a lie because I had no proof, but then you're going to accuse me of doxxing people without any proof???
40
#40
-8 Frags +
saamBattleMagooYou're a lying sociopath and have been outed as such on multiple fronts. You better get some serious psychological help while you're still young kid, or else you'll end up in prison after you get bored with being a pycho online and begin to look offline to feed your sadism and desire to have power over people (you've already begun to bridge this gap by doxxing people.)

Nothing you say has any credibility, your reputation is toast in this community. Get help, get a psychologist.

massive words from a shockingly autistic vac banned engie main

saam I think you might be the autistic one if you believe he actually wrote that

[quote=saam][quote=BattleMagoo]You're a lying sociopath and have been outed as such on multiple fronts. You better get some serious psychological help while you're still young kid, or else you'll end up in prison after you get bored with being a pycho online and begin to look offline to feed your sadism and desire to have power over people (you've already begun to bridge this gap by doxxing people.)

Nothing you say has any credibility, your reputation is toast in this community. Get help, get a psychologist.[/quote]

massive words from a shockingly autistic vac banned engie main[/quote]

saam I think you might be the autistic one if you believe he actually wrote that
41
#41
18 Frags +
rangerunitnumber47saamBattleMagooYou're a lying sociopath and have been outed as such on multiple fronts. You better get some serious psychological help while you're still young kid, or else you'll end up in prison after you get bored with being a pycho online and begin to look offline to feed your sadism and desire to have power over people (you've already begun to bridge this gap by doxxing people.)

Nothing you say has any credibility, your reputation is toast in this community. Get help, get a psychologist.

massive words from a shockingly autistic vac banned engie main

saam I think you might be the autistic one if you believe he actually wrote that

What a surprise you have a vac ban as well

[quote=rangerunitnumber47][quote=saam][quote=BattleMagoo]You're a lying sociopath and have been outed as such on multiple fronts. You better get some serious psychological help while you're still young kid, or else you'll end up in prison after you get bored with being a pycho online and begin to look offline to feed your sadism and desire to have power over people (you've already begun to bridge this gap by doxxing people.)

Nothing you say has any credibility, your reputation is toast in this community. Get help, get a psychologist.[/quote]

massive words from a shockingly autistic vac banned engie main[/quote]

saam I think you might be the autistic one if you believe he actually wrote that[/quote]

What a surprise you have a vac ban as well
42
#42
-3 Frags +

that was a copy pasta battlemage posted pretty sure

that was a copy pasta battlemage posted pretty sure
43
#43
11 Frags +
BattleMagooWow, using autism as an insult? Okay. I didn't think they made people like you anymore.

It's 2016. We need to move on from using things like "gay" and "autistic" as insults. You're only breeding more hatred and misogyny online.

EDIT: Why don't you share your depression story with us, Saam? I remember you having a history of self harm.

I think it's really telling that just about every single person who's harassed me for having a history of depression is also someone who's gotten banned for cheating

[quote=BattleMagoo]Wow, using autism as an insult? Okay. I didn't think they made people like you anymore.

It's 2016. We need to move on from using things like "gay" and "autistic" as insults. You're only breeding more hatred and misogyny online.

EDIT: Why don't you share your depression story with us, Saam? I remember you having a history of self harm.[/quote]

I think it's really telling that just about every single person who's harassed me for having a history of depression is also someone who's gotten banned for cheating
44
#44
10 Frags +

assholes do asshole things

assholes do asshole things
45
#45
-16 Frags +

is there a dickwoman thread anywhere on this website? im looking to meet other tf2 neo-hippies like me

is there a dickwoman thread anywhere on this website? im looking to meet other tf2 neo-hippies like me
46
#46
17 Frags +
BattleMagooWow, using autism as an insult? Okay. I didn't think they made people like you anymore.

It's 2016. We need to move on from using things like "gay" and "autistic" as insults. You're only breeding more hatred and misogyny online.

puu.sh/pfFJH/8ae4f4ed3a.jpg
?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

[quote=BattleMagoo]Wow, using autism as an insult? Okay. I didn't think they made people like you anymore.

It's 2016. We need to move on from using things like "gay" and "autistic" as insults. You're only breeding more hatred and misogyny online.
[/quote]
puu.sh/pfFJH/8ae4f4ed3a.jpg
?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
47
#47
5 Frags +
BattleMagooIt's 2016.

Stop. Wait. Before you type, just remember. It's current year.

[quote=BattleMagoo]It's 2016.[/quote]
Stop. Wait. Before you type, just remember. It's current year.
48
#48
-3 Frags +

-

-
49
#49
3 Frags +

Can someone ban this battlemagoo cunt

Can someone ban this battlemagoo cunt
50
#50
Process/Gullywash Refresh
2 Frags +
BattleMagooIt's 2016. We need to move on from using things like "gay" and "autistic" as insults. You're only breeding more hatred and misogyny online.
Show Content
[quote=BattleMagoo]It's 2016. We need to move on from using things like "gay" and "autistic" as insults. You're only breeding more hatred and misogyny online.[/quote]



[spoiler]

[img]http://www.amerika.org/wp-content/uploads/triggered.png[/img]

[/spoiler]
51
#51
10 Frags +
BattleMagooWow, using autism as an insult? Okay. I didn't think they made people like you anymore.

It's 2016. We need to move on from using things like "gay" and "autistic" as insults. You're only breeding more hatred and misogyny online.

EDIT: Why don't you share your depression story with us, Saam? I remember you having a history of self harm.

excuse me do not speak to my brother like that that is unnecessary and is completely unrelated to the thread and depression shaming is not cool and no one thinks ur cool for making fun of someone for it.

[quote=BattleMagoo]Wow, using autism as an insult? Okay. I didn't think they made people like you anymore.

It's 2016. We need to move on from using things like "gay" and "autistic" as insults. You're only breeding more hatred and misogyny online.

EDIT: Why don't you share your depression story with us, Saam? I remember you having a history of self harm.[/quote]
excuse me do not speak to my brother like that that is unnecessary and is completely unrelated to the thread and depression shaming is not cool and no one thinks ur cool for making fun of someone for it.
52
#52
5 Frags +
FactsbrettsSuddenly one day, you feel yourself in ultimate darkness and you don’t really realize where your candle is that’s the time when the best tactical flashlight is going to be your savior. Of course any top rated tactical flashlight would do but I am sure you would want the best for your safety and adventure.

What the fuck

[quote=Factsbretts]Suddenly one day, you feel yourself in ultimate darkness and you don’t really realize where your candle is that’s the time when the best tactical [url=http://dailyworldbuzz.com/best-tactical-flashlight-reviews]flashlight[/url] is going to be your savior. Of course any [url=http://dailyworldbuzz.com/best-tactical-flashlight-reviews]top rated tactical flashlight[/url] would do but I am sure you would want the best for your safety and adventure.[/quote]

What the fuck
53
#53
5 Frags +
rocketslayFactsbrettsSuddenly one day, you feel yourself in ultimate darkness and you don’t really realize where your candle is that’s the time when the best tactical flashlight is going to be your savior. Of course any top rated tactical flashlight would do but I am sure you would want the best for your safety and adventure.
What the fuck

thought that was gonna be some deep the light will guide you on your path stuff
but this motherfucker just advertising his flash light wtf

[quote=rocketslay][quote=Factsbretts]Suddenly one day, you feel yourself in ultimate darkness and you don’t really realize where your candle is that’s the time when the best tactical [url=http://dailyworldbuzz.com/best-tactical-flashlight-reviews]flashlight[/url] is going to be your savior. Of course any [url=http://dailyworldbuzz.com/best-tactical-flashlight-reviews]top rated tactical flashlight[/url] would do but I am sure you would want the best for your safety and adventure.[/quote]

What the fuck[/quote]
thought that was gonna be some deep the light will guide you on your path stuff
but this motherfucker just advertising his flash light wtf
54
#54
13 Frags +

this is one of the greatest shitposts on tf.tv and its by a bot

tells a lot about the quality of some shitposters

this is one of the greatest shitposts on tf.tv and its by a bot

tells a lot about the quality of some shitposters
55
#55
6 Frags +
FactsbrettsSuddenly one day, you feel yourself in ultimate darkness and you don’t really realize where your candle is that’s the time when the best tactical flashlight is going to be your savior. Of course any top rated tactical flashlight would do but I am sure you would want the best for your safety and adventure.

yea whenever I need to take a piss in the night I quickly whip out my candle like it's the 18th century

[quote=Factsbretts]Suddenly one day, you feel yourself in ultimate darkness and you don’t really realize where your candle is that’s the time when the best tactical [url=http://dailyworldbuzz.com/best-tactical-flashlight-reviews]flashlight[/url] is going to be your savior. Of course any [url=http://dailyworldbuzz.com/best-tactical-flashlight-reviews]top rated tactical flashlight[/url] would do but I am sure you would want the best for your safety and adventure.[/quote]

yea whenever I need to take a piss in the night I quickly whip out my candle like it's the 18th century
56
#56
2 Frags +

okay i gotta give this guy/bot credit he managed to mash up a quality shitpost and an advertisement into horribly amazing amalgamation of awesome

okay i gotta give this guy/bot credit he managed to mash up a quality shitpost and an advertisement into horribly amazing amalgamation of awesome
57
#57
5 Frags +

I've been dealing with depression for a little over 2 years now. Started towards the end of highschool. I started losing allot of self confidence and started feeling really lonely. I don't get along that well with my family (not that we don't love each other but we aren't super close), I didn't really know what I wanted to do for college so I ended up just doing my general education requirements at the local community college. Didn't have any motivation at all to do anything. I was still working at my job since my sophomore year and I really liked it but I ended up hating it. So much that I'd have to go to the bathroom and cry it out then get back to work. It was a good job too I just lost all motivation. In the off time I got increasingly addicted to gaming. Started spending more and more time. Tf2 was more than just fun, it was an escape. I started abusing alcohol to try and somehow numb the pain I was feeling. I tried making friends but it never really worked out so I'd just go home and play more. My grades started tanking. I started to have suicidal thoughts. I tried to tell my parents about it but they didn't really listen. I ended up going to my college's counseling services. I felt a bit better but its always with different person and never really consistent. At this point I was doing really poorly in school, absolutely hated work, had no friends and was averaging 50-60 hours of tf2 a week. I had gained 80 pounds going from 180 to 260 in a year. I ended up telling my doctor about what I was experienced and he started to give me meds almost immediately. He also explained stuff to my dad. My dad acknowledged that it was an issue but never really approached it well. He treated it like I was afraid of something or that he needed to change something. Kept asking me questions like "what are you afraid of?" There's no real response to that coupled with me not being all too close to my dad made it hard to respond. I kept taking the meds but it didn't really help other than making me wanna eat less. I ended up failing classes. Told my dad I'd like to get a different job and work full time. He seemed OK with it but my mom really wasn't. I kept applying to jobs but no-one really called back. All the while my mom is continually pressuring me to do school. At this point I had quit my job, quit school, still had no friends, was taking meds for depression and escaping to tf2 even more averaging around 80-90 hours a week. Eventually my dad told me to focus on my health. So I started doing that 2 months ago. I've managed to lose 20 pounds but every day my dad says I'm not trying hard enough. I'm trying really hard though. Most days I wake up at 8 and don't eat till 5pm-6pm Before scrims (I'm pst). It just sucks knowing you try hard but you are being constantly told that you aren't. 2 weeks ago I decided I would go to school again and major in computer science. I start taking class again in 2 weeks. I still have suicidal thoughts, no job, no friends. My dad last week saw something on 20/20 about internet addiction and flipped out. Ended up breaking my monitor and stuff. I was able to order a new one, but I'm restricted to 4 hours a day from 6:30-10:30 and I must go to bed at 11 otherwise they are gonna kick me out. (Again in pst so that's 9:30-1:30 est. Just enough for scrims and a pug or 2 after). I'm trying to be optimistic cuz at least I can still play this season but it's been really hard. Hopefully I can turn my life around. I'm still having suicidal thoughts but I'm hoping to lose more weight and get back to school and get my life back on track.

If you've made it this far you are a champ.

I've been dealing with depression for a little over 2 years now. Started towards the end of highschool. I started losing allot of self confidence and started feeling really lonely. I don't get along that well with my family (not that we don't love each other but we aren't super close), I didn't really know what I wanted to do for college so I ended up just doing my general education requirements at the local community college. Didn't have any motivation at all to do anything. I was still working at my job since my sophomore year and I really liked it but I ended up hating it. So much that I'd have to go to the bathroom and cry it out then get back to work. It was a good job too I just lost all motivation. In the off time I got increasingly addicted to gaming. Started spending more and more time. Tf2 was more than just fun, it was an escape. I started abusing alcohol to try and somehow numb the pain I was feeling. I tried making friends but it never really worked out so I'd just go home and play more. My grades started tanking. I started to have suicidal thoughts. I tried to tell my parents about it but they didn't really listen. I ended up going to my college's counseling services. I felt a bit better but its always with different person and never really consistent. At this point I was doing really poorly in school, absolutely hated work, had no friends and was averaging 50-60 hours of tf2 a week. I had gained 80 pounds going from 180 to 260 in a year. I ended up telling my doctor about what I was experienced and he started to give me meds almost immediately. He also explained stuff to my dad. My dad acknowledged that it was an issue but never really approached it well. He treated it like I was afraid of something or that he needed to change something. Kept asking me questions like "what are you afraid of?" There's no real response to that coupled with me not being all too close to my dad made it hard to respond. I kept taking the meds but it didn't really help other than making me wanna eat less. I ended up failing classes. Told my dad I'd like to get a different job and work full time. He seemed OK with it but my mom really wasn't. I kept applying to jobs but no-one really called back. All the while my mom is continually pressuring me to do school. At this point I had quit my job, quit school, still had no friends, was taking meds for depression and escaping to tf2 even more averaging around 80-90 hours a week. Eventually my dad told me to focus on my health. So I started doing that 2 months ago. I've managed to lose 20 pounds but every day my dad says I'm not trying hard enough. I'm trying really hard though. Most days I wake up at 8 and don't eat till 5pm-6pm Before scrims (I'm pst). It just sucks knowing you try hard but you are being constantly told that you aren't. 2 weeks ago I decided I would go to school again and major in computer science. I start taking class again in 2 weeks. I still have suicidal thoughts, no job, no friends. My dad last week saw something on 20/20 about internet addiction and flipped out. Ended up breaking my monitor and stuff. I was able to order a new one, but I'm restricted to 4 hours a day from 6:30-10:30 and I must go to bed at 11 otherwise they are gonna kick me out. (Again in pst so that's 9:30-1:30 est. Just enough for scrims and a pug or 2 after). I'm trying to be optimistic cuz at least I can still play this season but it's been really hard. Hopefully I can turn my life around. I'm still having suicidal thoughts but I'm hoping to lose more weight and get back to school and get my life back on track.

If you've made it this far you are a champ.
58
#58
5 Frags +
SlicerogueI've been dealing with depression for a little over 2 years now. Started towards the end of highschool. I started losing allot of self confidence and started feeling really lonely. I don't get along that well with my family (not that we don't love each other but we aren't super close), I didn't really know what I wanted to do for college so I ended up just doing my general education requirements at the local community college. Didn't have any motivation at all to do anything. I was still working at my job since my sophomore year and I really liked it but I ended up hating it. So much that I'd have to go to the bathroom and cry it out then get back to work. It was a good job too I just lost all motivation. In the off time I got increasingly addicted to gaming. Started spending more and more time. Tf2 was more than just fun, it was an escape. I started abusing alcohol to try and somehow numb the pain I was feeling. I tried making friends but it never really worked out so I'd just go home and play more. My grades started tanking. I started to have suicidal thoughts. I tried to tell my parents about it but they didn't really listen. I ended up going to my college's counseling services. I felt a bit better but its always with different person and never really consistent. At this point I was doing really poorly in school, absolutely hated work, had no friends and was averaging 50-60 hours of tf2 a week. I had gained 80 pounds going from 180 to 260 in a year. I ended up telling my doctor about what I was experienced and he started to give me meds almost immediately. He also explained stuff to my dad. My dad acknowledged that it was an issue but never really approached it well. He treated it like I was afraid of something or that he needed to change something. Kept asking me questions like "what are you afraid of?" There's no real response to that coupled with me not being all too close to my dad made it hard to respond. I kept taking the meds but it didn't really help other than making me wanna eat less. I ended up failing classes. Told my dad I'd like to get a different job and work full time. He seemed OK with it but my mom really wasn't. I kept applying to jobs but no-one really called back. All the while my mom is continually pressuring me to do school. At this point I had quit my job, quit school, still had no friends, was taking meds for depression and escaping to tf2 even more averaging around 80-90 hours a week. Eventually my dad told me to focus on my health. So I started doing that 2 months ago. I've managed to lose 20 pounds but every day my dad says I'm not trying hard enough. I'm trying really hard though. Most days I wake up at 8 and don't eat till 5pm-6pm Before scrims (I'm pst). It just sucks knowing you try hard but you are being constantly told that you aren't. 2 weeks ago I decided I would go to school again and major in computer science. I start taking class again in 2 weeks. I still have suicidal thoughts, no job, no friends. My dad last week saw something on 20/20 about internet addiction and flipped out. Ended up breaking my monitor and stuff. I was able to order a new one, but I'm restricted to 4 hours a day from 6:30-10:30 and I must go to bed at 11 otherwise they are gonna kick me out. (Again in pst so that's 9:30-1:30 est. Just enough for scrims and a pug or 2 after). I'm trying to be optimistic cuz at least I can still play this season but it's been really hard. Hopefully I can turn my life around. I'm still having suicidal thoughts but I'm hoping to lose more weight and get back to school and get my life back on track.

If you've made it this far you are a champ.

I just read the last line, thanks :)

[quote=Slicerogue]I've been dealing with depression for a little over 2 years now. Started towards the end of highschool. I started losing allot of self confidence and started feeling really lonely. I don't get along that well with my family (not that we don't love each other but we aren't super close), I didn't really know what I wanted to do for college so I ended up just doing my general education requirements at the local community college. Didn't have any motivation at all to do anything. I was still working at my job since my sophomore year and I really liked it but I ended up hating it. So much that I'd have to go to the bathroom and cry it out then get back to work. It was a good job too I just lost all motivation. In the off time I got increasingly addicted to gaming. Started spending more and more time. Tf2 was more than just fun, it was an escape. I started abusing alcohol to try and somehow numb the pain I was feeling. I tried making friends but it never really worked out so I'd just go home and play more. My grades started tanking. I started to have suicidal thoughts. I tried to tell my parents about it but they didn't really listen. I ended up going to my college's counseling services. I felt a bit better but its always with different person and never really consistent. At this point I was doing really poorly in school, absolutely hated work, had no friends and was averaging 50-60 hours of tf2 a week. I had gained 80 pounds going from 180 to 260 in a year. I ended up telling my doctor about what I was experienced and he started to give me meds almost immediately. He also explained stuff to my dad. My dad acknowledged that it was an issue but never really approached it well. He treated it like I was afraid of something or that he needed to change something. Kept asking me questions like "what are you afraid of?" There's no real response to that coupled with me not being all too close to my dad made it hard to respond. I kept taking the meds but it didn't really help other than making me wanna eat less. I ended up failing classes. Told my dad I'd like to get a different job and work full time. He seemed OK with it but my mom really wasn't. I kept applying to jobs but no-one really called back. All the while my mom is continually pressuring me to do school. At this point I had quit my job, quit school, still had no friends, was taking meds for depression and escaping to tf2 even more averaging around 80-90 hours a week. Eventually my dad told me to focus on my health. So I started doing that 2 months ago. I've managed to lose 20 pounds but every day my dad says I'm not trying hard enough. I'm trying really hard though. Most days I wake up at 8 and don't eat till 5pm-6pm Before scrims (I'm pst). It just sucks knowing you try hard but you are being constantly told that you aren't. 2 weeks ago I decided I would go to school again and major in computer science. I start taking class again in 2 weeks. I still have suicidal thoughts, no job, no friends. My dad last week saw something on 20/20 about internet addiction and flipped out. Ended up breaking my monitor and stuff. I was able to order a new one, but I'm restricted to 4 hours a day from 6:30-10:30 and I must go to bed at 11 otherwise they are gonna kick me out. (Again in pst so that's 9:30-1:30 est. Just enough for scrims and a pug or 2 after). I'm trying to be optimistic cuz at least I can still play this season but it's been really hard. Hopefully I can turn my life around. I'm still having suicidal thoughts but I'm hoping to lose more weight and get back to school and get my life back on track.

If you've made it this far you are a champ.[/quote]

I just read the last line, thanks :)
59
#59
4 Frags +

Best advice I can give is to just do some exercise. I don't know why, but the 1-2 hours I spend running is always the best part of my day. There's always something outside that makes me smile a bit, most of it being animals doing random things. It's so easy to hate exercise and running, but at the same time it's so easy to get addicted to it. I don't know why, but exercise always makes me feel a lot more positive, and there are studies that demonstrate the benefits too.

I think I mostly chalk up the effects of exercise to living unnaturally. Humans were built to be distance runners, not to live on a computer and spend several hours a day forcing information into our heads. If we were mentally encoded to live in the Rift Valley to persistence hunt animals and we come to live indoors purposelessly obsessed with computers, then I feel like something is bound to go wrong. I believe this is the reason for the slight suicide epidemic in the US, though I would advise you to use your own understanding and to formulate your own opinions. (Rely on information given from medical studies, not message boards!)

Show Content
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21658349
TL;DR: Exercise in it's own right is so effective that it could be considered somewhat of a treatment option for depression

Also, watch Jerma985

Best advice I can give is to just do some exercise. I don't know why, but the 1-2 hours I spend running is always the best part of my day. There's always something outside that makes me smile a bit, most of it being animals doing random things. It's so easy to hate exercise and running, but at the same time it's so easy to get addicted to it. I don't know why, but exercise always makes me feel a lot more positive, and there are studies that demonstrate the benefits too.

I think I mostly chalk up the effects of exercise to living unnaturally. Humans were built to be distance runners, not to live on a computer and spend several hours a day forcing information into our heads. If we were mentally encoded to live in the Rift Valley to persistence hunt animals and we come to live indoors purposelessly obsessed with computers, then I feel like something is bound to go wrong. I believe this is the reason for the slight suicide epidemic in the US, though I would advise you to use your own understanding and to formulate your own opinions. (Rely on information given from medical studies, not message boards!)

[spoiler]https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21658349
TL;DR: Exercise in it's own right is so effective that it could be considered somewhat of a treatment option for depression[/spoiler]

Also, watch Jerma985
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