I’d rather punch a whole in a door over homophobic comments, then another person, or if need be, hurt myself. I have anger issues and I was never well spoken when I drank, giving up that shit for the sake of having a proper platform to express myself and not have to look over my shoulder because I don’t remember posting something, is some serious grace for me.

I only posted this because I know within our own pockets of friends in this scene, we have delt with this shit. It’s heavy, it doesn’t sit well with me knowing that someone I lived with and was friends with is gone because of substance abuse. I can recall others who I’ve met and played with in game that have gone down that path, it’s not 100 percent avoidable, we can’t prevent everything, but if me speaking up and sharing my own experience helps even a single person, thats better then nothing.

Do I really need to dig into the vagueness of what “my safety” details and explain why you come across like a dick for assuming what I think your insinuating? I have no thoughts of hurting myself, but clearly you have some issue with sensitive topics posted with sincerity in a section of the forum dedicated to discussing anything.

Recently I had an old manager / roommate overdose and died yesterday. He was a manager at a pretty well established mom and pop BBQ chain here in town, always assumed he was just a regular stoner, but apparently he needed relief beyond what was considered a reasonable risk. I stepped away from all that stuff, personally it’s been hard especially when your someone like me who’s more emotionally charged, I end up shooting from the hip instead of sitting on my own words.

I just feel like saying it, but I know it’s hard with drugs and shit, it’s always around, drinking is also such a major thing, I’ve gone so many years with that crap in my life and it’s never done me any good. I think we can all agree, a lot of gamers in our scene would perform better if they stayed away from that crap.

Long run mental health issues on top of everything with substance abuse is just not worth it.
Hopefully you guys get what I’m saying and maybe a couple gamers, even half a handful will get what I mean.
When a game runs this long you’re gunna run into some death, but honestly. I’d rather joke about being an old man fraggin 17 year olds and passing on naturally.

Whatever happens on your path, don’t cut the dreads.

me personally, I see the growth in scout and soldier, but fucking god, how long do I get to see loch and load demo roll that shit on pure aim and just fucking destroy this shit

I cant wait to see how tight some of these new gen gamers fuck up you nerds, god help me I can keep up on the playback shit, dude we get to see the 4th gen come into action on this shit and its gunna be wicked!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really need to step away, at least from tftv, and sorry I'm stepping away from comp, if I can do something for prolander, cool beans. But other then that, this shit needs some serious work. Hope some of you make it chill for that fresh crop we got interested. Gotta have the new comers interested right?!

I'm literally drawing a thing that might pay for the view finder for the camera I'm building and I'm im almost out of money because I bought a new engine for my car and dz creeper knows I'm a nerd and I have the best interests please god will a stranger buy a nerd a hotdog or something filling god help me I'm just a nerd on the internet run on sentence.gif

I put All the right cards, I made sure Kobe rised, and his storm is only withdrawn, his hand is steady, his crowd is of few an steady brow under the crow, the storm, the thunder storm, the crowd shall rise under Koby, he had not defeated B4nny the washed up suckler, the born abuser, the son of the upcommer, this bitch, that only carried, this fucking waste of a day, this negative bitch holding the day, at the very nature of such few, the Future, the crew, the behind scenes hand that pushes those of us at hand, we know now that the old helm is dead, shall we rest instead, let the title flex and said, "My the Future bless this head, may the young rest and be blessed."

Im about 3 8 percent beers into this, but deal is this, if my mates get me to sober up at the mic and we make this some sorta legendary tale, kobe, you better fucking win invite again and just shit on these knuckle heads, becasue I cant do this forum shit anymore, half these nerds are fucking under 20 and huff paint and think haff the effort isnt behind this shit anymore. Also, I'm serious that I'm not posting anymore, if one of you fucking nerds see me with a godddamn half a body of camera gear over my shoulder lookin meak, if you call me Future you owe me a burger and goddamn full sized fry with dip of some sorts or so help me my broke ass is gunna get meek and pass out on that goddamn dirty ass gamer floor

Because you spoke now, they call me Future because I expected your deprecate,

Who did I step forward as a ORG, who did I handle, the best of the new generation, who may I ask iS resting, who is taking the nap among you weak mother fuckers, his name is what, his name is KOBE

hey kobe, did doozer do anything that made it worth the time invested? what was his flip?

I promise, I had a larger impact on some heavier players then this fake piece of dry cunt shit

start talking sharp dry ass lip fucking shit talker

I am going to bed. I aleady made a prayer to Mig, you guys dont know how important ultimatums are.

thats right you little shit, get pissed, as long as you give these forum shit shacks a hard time, call me what you wish, just go for gold, friendo.

https://media.tenor.com/FHhOIcmmGNYAAAAM/anton-chigurh-no-country-for-old-men.gif

bring back that old edit of you getting mad about my steam profile comment
that was more un-settling then whatever is worth reading now

Edit: and for the record, this interaction is exactly the thing we gotta look past and go, "what was my part in it?"

Some of you gamers gunna get old and start seeing the same shit I'm seeing, hopefully some of you sooner then later. I'm gunna make some scrambled eggs for dinner on this shit ass micro budget I got because I wanna save for this darn equipment, see you at lan(s)? Also, dont get mad at the cost of digipacks, that shit isnt cheap. the 3-4 panel ones are pretty awesome, would prefer to have at least some group photos of you nerds on the final product.

Sorry for making the thread, sorry I gotta start stepping away, I will say, dont judge a person until you meet them in person, the keyboard will never represent the gamer truely. <3