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My friend is suicidal and i feel powerless.
posted in Off Topic
31
#31
0 Frags +
z4My best friend's girlfriend went through a similar situation with severe depression and she was trying to kill herself. My friend said that you just have to be there for them, make them happy, do everything with them. In this case where drugs are involved, if it's possible you need to contact parents, police, etc. he's probably going to hate you for doing things like that but you're saving his life. In the end he will understand, hopefully you can do everything in your power to save your friend.

As someone who struggles with depression, this is true, but there's also only so much a friend can do. As much as it sucks, sometimes you have to let them fight through it themselves and hope for the best.

I will say though, It's a weird feeling when you're contemplating ending your life if you know someone cares about you. There are days you start thinking no one cares, no one would miss me, it's a scary place. Gotta make sure they realize just how much they matter, and no matter how bad life gets, it gets better. You have no idea how big a difference those last two make.

[quote=z4]My best friend's girlfriend went through a similar situation with severe depression and she was trying to kill herself. My friend said that you just have to be there for them, make them happy, do everything with them. In this case where drugs are involved, if it's possible you need to contact parents, police, etc. he's probably going to hate you for doing things like that but you're saving his life. In the end he will understand, hopefully you can do everything in your power to save your friend.[/quote]

As someone who struggles with depression, this is true, but there's also only so much a friend can do. As much as it sucks, sometimes you have to let them fight through it themselves and hope for the best.

I will say though, It's a weird feeling when you're contemplating ending your life if you know someone cares about you. There are days you start thinking no one cares, no one would miss me, it's a scary place. Gotta make sure they realize just how much they matter, and no matter how bad life gets, it gets better. You have no idea how big a difference those last two make.
32
#32
0 Frags +

Let him know that if he wants help you will help him, and be prepared to call a hotline or something for him. but if he doesn't want help, well it's his life and his choices. Just try to understand. I have had friends go on benzo binges and they always get super depressed on the come down. I would honestly suggest that he stops mixing and only does one at a time, and switch it up every few days. He most likely won't just stop doing drugs so helping him learn moderation would be the best start

Let him know that if he wants help you will help him, and be prepared to call a hotline or something for him. but if he doesn't want help, well it's his life and his choices. Just try to understand. I have had friends go on benzo binges and they always get super depressed on the come down. I would honestly suggest that he stops mixing and only does one at a time, and switch it up every few days. He most likely won't just stop doing drugs so helping him learn moderation would be the best start
33
#33
7 Frags +

You're fucking disgusting, Mukhtar

You're fucking disgusting, Mukhtar
34
#34
-2 Frags +
MumaYou're fucking disgusting, Mukhtar

I think we might need to cut him

[quote=Muma]You're fucking disgusting, Mukhtar[/quote]
I think we might need to cut him
35
#35
1 Frags +

seeing my friends consistently call a kid "redneck" or "white trash" in my school led him to shoot himself in the head. luckily he lived but he was brain dead for 5-6 months and now he's physically disabled in a way where he was to wear braces on the back of his legs. sometimes i question the guys i hang around but knowing that they did that makes me feel like an absolute shit to because anyone who didn't bully him just watched it happen including me. the best you can do is to talk to him and if he's faking this for attention then welp.

seeing my friends consistently call a kid "redneck" or "white trash" in my school led him to shoot himself in the head. luckily he lived but he was brain dead for 5-6 months and now he's physically disabled in a way where he was to wear braces on the back of his legs. sometimes i question the guys i hang around but knowing that they did that makes me feel like an absolute shit to because anyone who didn't bully him just watched it happen including me. the best you can do is to talk to him and if he's faking this for attention then welp.
36
#36
1 Frags +

What brings a little hope for Mukhtar's thread is the top reply to it

Resolve conflicts, don't exacerbate them.

wesporYou know, I did this once. My friends and I cut one of our crew out because he was acting like a total asshole all the time. Turns out he was just going through a rough patch and without anyone around to support him he just committed suicide. It's been around 8 years now and I still feel guilty.
Moral of the story, talk it out first. One on one or with a group, call it an asshole intervention but don't just cut someone you once cared about out of your life without a fight.
What brings a little hope for Mukhtar's thread is the top reply to it

Resolve conflicts, don't exacerbate them.

[quote=wespor]
You know, I did this once. My friends and I cut one of our crew out because he was acting like a total asshole all the time. Turns out he was just going through a rough patch and without anyone around to support him he just committed suicide. It's been around 8 years now and I still feel guilty.
Moral of the story, talk it out first. One on one or with a group, call it an asshole intervention but don't just cut someone you once cared about out of your life without a fight.
[/quote]
37
#37
3 Frags +
atidereseeing my friends consistently call a kid "redneck" or "white trash" in my school led him to shoot himself in the head. luckily he lived but he was brain dead for 5-6 months and now he's physically disabled in a way where he was to wear braces on the back of his legs. sometimes i question the guys i hang around but knowing that they did that makes me feel like an absolute shit to because anyone who didn't bully him just watched it happen including me. the best you can do is to talk to him and if he's faking this for attention then welp.

"luckily he lived"
"brain dead for 5-6 months"
"now physically disabled"

luckily? really?
i'm not so sure if he agrees with you..

also: your friends are nasty, and you should cut them loose. they are holding you back.
if you can see that what they're doing is wrong/bad, then you don't do yourself justice by forcing yourself into situations where you have to ignore their behavior.
you can't expect yourself to be a hero, but you can certainly choose not to hang around toxic people..

[quote=atidere]seeing my friends consistently call a kid "redneck" or "white trash" in my school led him to shoot himself in the head. luckily he lived but he was brain dead for 5-6 months and now he's physically disabled in a way where he was to wear braces on the back of his legs. sometimes i question the guys i hang around but knowing that they did that makes me feel like an absolute shit to because anyone who didn't bully him just watched it happen including me. the best you can do is to talk to him and if he's faking this for attention then welp.[/quote]

"luckily he lived"
"brain dead for 5-6 months"
"now physically disabled"

luckily? really?
i'm not so sure if he agrees with you..

also: your friends are nasty, and you should cut them loose. they are holding you back.
if you can see that what they're doing is wrong/bad, then you don't do yourself justice by forcing yourself into situations where you have to ignore their behavior.
you can't expect yourself to be a hero, but you can certainly choose not to hang around toxic people..
38
#38
3 Frags +

Alright. So another history of depression chiming in here.
Depression since i was preteen, still goes on, but not nearly to the same effect.
Had a lot of suicide attempts. Nothing helped.
Tried therapy, pills, meditation, dancing, music, changing habits, getting out more, and surrounding myself with friends 24/7.

Ended up taking 40 remeron tabs, and 80 depakote tabs. I had said my goodbyes to a few friends who called the cops who came to my house and essentially held me under arrest till an ambulance got to my house and they pumped me/ made me drink activated charcoal for 2 weeks twice a day and put me in a loony ward for 4 weeks, till i was able to convince them of my lie that it was just an accidental overdose by self medicating more than the doc prescribed and that it wouldnt happen again, and that im mostly happy now. ( told them i only took triple the dose, even though they knew depakote levels were 600% higher than they should be.)
Life was never worse. There are few things worse than the loony ward. ( been to jail for a month as well, can confirm, crazy castle is worse)

When i think of what suicide meant to me then, it meant an escape. Now, it means there is a chance i go back there. It was very effective at stopping suicides, albeit not in the way I think they intended.

More than that Hell on Earth. What keeps me going even though im still very much experiencing unmedicated depression ( after 10 different types of drug cocktails, i decided im done) is Goals.

I never was very good at making goals, i would either only be able to think of goals out of my reach, or so insignificant that they didnt help. After all I went through, i was able to recognize what was really important to me. That thing is now my main goal in life. I have a few minor goals that encompass like a month or year each, and then this one lifetime goal. If i die, i cant have what i want, ill never get it. So i have to put up with all of it no matter how bad it is. And that thought alone, that suicide isnt an option, really solidifies itself into a reality.

I guess this thread made me spill a bit more than usual on the topic, but its close to my heart.
Try to help your friend make goals. its hard to do as not the person themselves, but maybe you can help him seed the thoughts. All the stuff i tried, and put near the top of my reply was advised by my therapist. Advise he see one of those ( maybe more if the first one is as much of a piece of shit as my first few were) , and try those things. Hell even testosterone shots have a likelihood of helping with his depression.

Alright. So another history of depression chiming in here.
Depression since i was preteen, still goes on, but not nearly to the same effect.
Had a lot of suicide attempts. Nothing helped.
Tried therapy, pills, meditation, dancing, music, changing habits, getting out more, and surrounding myself with friends 24/7.

Ended up taking 40 remeron tabs, and 80 depakote tabs. I had said my goodbyes to a few friends who called the cops who came to my house and essentially held me under arrest till an ambulance got to my house and they pumped me/ made me drink activated charcoal for 2 weeks twice a day and put me in a loony ward for 4 weeks, till i was able to convince them of my lie that it was just an accidental overdose by self medicating more than the doc prescribed and that it wouldnt happen again, and that im mostly happy now. ( told them i only took triple the dose, even though they knew depakote levels were 600% higher than they should be.)
Life was never worse. There are few things worse than the loony ward. ( been to jail for a month as well, can confirm, crazy castle is worse)

When i think of what suicide meant to me then, it meant an escape. Now, it means there is a chance i go back there. It was very effective at stopping suicides, albeit not in the way I think they intended.

More than that Hell on Earth. What keeps me going even though im still very much experiencing unmedicated depression ( after 10 different types of drug cocktails, i decided im done) is Goals.

I never was very good at making goals, i would either only be able to think of goals out of my reach, or so insignificant that they didnt help. After all I went through, i was able to recognize what was really important to me. That thing is now my main goal in life. I have a few minor goals that encompass like a month or year each, and then this one lifetime goal. If i die, i cant have what i want, ill never get it. So i have to put up with all of it no matter how bad it is. And that thought alone, that suicide isnt an option, really solidifies itself into a reality.

I guess this thread made me spill a bit more than usual on the topic, but its close to my heart.
Try to help your friend make goals. its hard to do as not the person themselves, but maybe you can help him seed the thoughts. All the stuff i tried, and put near the top of my reply was advised by my therapist. Advise he see one of those ( maybe more if the first one is as much of a piece of shit as my first few were) , and try those things. Hell even testosterone shots have a likelihood of helping with his depression.
39
#39
-2 Frags +
MumaYou're fucking disgusting, Mukhtar

i'll still be here if you ever need some cold hard life advice

[quote=Muma]You're fucking disgusting, Mukhtar[/quote]
i'll still be here if you ever need some cold hard life advice
40
#40
1 Frags +

Spend a night just hanging out with the guy, and just talk, like show that other people care about him, suicide is a scary thing that should never be considered, make sure he realizes suicide isnt an option. Coming from someone with Social Anxiety and depression. Make sure that whereever they are in life, they will have something to fall on. Its a big commitment to say "Im going to always be here for you, if you ever need something, let me know" and its a hard commitment to make for a lot of people, helping with suicidal people can be very emotionally draining. But very rewardin. For me, i never found suicide a option, i always thought you should find what youre flawed at and improve on it to make yourself a better person, but everyone is different. Do what you can, thats all you can do, as long as youre trying your hardest and not letting them be alone, youre doing great. Sorry about this post being all over the place, still really tired.

Spend a night just hanging out with the guy, and just talk, like show that other people care about him, suicide is a scary thing that should never be considered, make sure he realizes suicide isnt an option. Coming from someone with Social Anxiety and depression. Make sure that whereever they are in life, they will have something to fall on. Its a big commitment to say "Im going to always be here for you, if you ever need something, let me know" and its a hard commitment to make for a lot of people, helping with suicidal people can be very emotionally draining. But very rewardin. For me, i never found suicide a option, i always thought you should find what youre flawed at and improve on it to make yourself a better person, but everyone is different. Do what you can, thats all you can do, as long as youre trying your hardest and not letting them be alone, youre doing great. Sorry about this post being all over the place, still really tired.
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