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Stupid shit you've done
posted in Off Topic
91
#91
0 Frags +

Go to Santa Barbara during Halloween. Never again.

Go to Santa Barbara during Halloween. Never again.
92
#92
8 Frags +

Dropped out of CSUN to play WoW all day... the *best* worst thing I have ever done.

Video games ruin lives children.

Dropped out of CSUN to play WoW all day... the *best* worst thing I have ever done.

Video games ruin lives children.
93
#93
9 Frags +

Performing a "satanic ritual" for shits and giggles in a predominately republican neighborhood.

Performing a "satanic ritual" for shits and giggles in a predominately republican neighborhood.
94
#94
14 Frags +

during 10th grade biology we had to do fruitfly labs, where you mate them and take care of them etc etc. well during the end of the segment (on a friday) our task was to put them asleep and take them outside to the field. me and 3 friends thought it would be funny as fuck to take our flies (maybe 40~ flies a piece by the time they were all grown) and dump them in the lab supply drawers in the back of the classroom. fast forward to monday and the whole damn class was FILLED with these fuckers, not even to mention part of the hallways and other classrooms. literally the most fun I've had that year.

during 10th grade biology we had to do fruitfly labs, where you mate them and take care of them etc etc. well during the end of the segment (on a friday) our task was to put them asleep and take them outside to the field. me and 3 friends thought it would be funny as fuck to take our flies (maybe 40~ flies a piece by the time they were all grown) and dump them in the lab supply drawers in the back of the classroom. fast forward to monday and the whole damn class was FILLED with these fuckers, not even to mention part of the hallways and other classrooms. literally the most fun I've had that year.
95
#95
-1 Frags +

I once studied for a test.

Never again. I'll never get those precious MGE hours back.

I once studied for a test.

Never again. I'll never get those precious MGE hours back.
96
#96
15 Frags +

I took a shit in my moms shower when I was about 4 and out of panic tried shovin it down the drain she found out anyway. I'm not a good plummer

I took a shit in my moms shower when I was about 4 and out of panic tried shovin it down the drain she found out anyway. I'm not a good plummer
97
#97
3 Frags +

I punched a guy in the face one time in year ten (aged 14 1/2 for the non-brits). Broke my hand, his nose, and made him swallow his gum, almost choking to death until a teacher ran over and gave him the heimlich... I have not been violent since

I punched a guy in the face one time in year ten (aged 14 1/2 for the non-brits). Broke my hand, his nose, and made him swallow his gum, almost choking to death until a teacher ran over and gave him the heimlich... I have not been violent since
98
#98
10 Frags +

When I was like 5 I punched a kid with autism in the face. I didn't really know what autism was and I never got caught but I still feel bad about it.

When I was like 5 I punched a kid with autism in the face. I didn't really know what autism was and I never got caught but I still feel bad about it.
99
#99
5 Frags +

Last year at school in an art lesson I photoshopped my face onto propaganda posters and gave them headlines including "Alex(me) has taken over the world", "David Cameron, neo-nazi?" and "Big brother is watching you"(That's a quote from the book 1984 if you don't know)

My friends and I then proceeded to stick them up everywhere around school, including the girls's toilets. Unfortunately for me they all had my face on and the staff didn't appreciate it :l

Last year at school in an art lesson I photoshopped my face onto propaganda posters and gave them headlines including "Alex(me) has taken over the world", "David Cameron, neo-nazi?" and "Big brother is watching you"(That's a quote from the book 1984 if you don't know)

My friends and I then proceeded to stick them up everywhere around school, including the girls's toilets. Unfortunately for me they all had my face on and the staff didn't appreciate it :l
100
#100
4 Frags +

back when i was in high school me and a few friends got really baked while driving around decided that throwing fireworks (black cats and m-80s) out of the window would be entertaining. About 15 mins into it i ended up throwing one onto an off duty police officers personal vehicle and he followed us for 5 mins until 3 cop cars showed up and cuffed us all and we spent like an hour getting a fucking lesson from them and then I got an illegal fireworks ticket.

back when i was in high school me and a few friends got really baked while driving around decided that throwing fireworks (black cats and m-80s) out of the window would be entertaining. About 15 mins into it i ended up throwing one onto an off duty police officers personal vehicle and he followed us for 5 mins until 3 cop cars showed up and cuffed us all and we spent like an hour getting a fucking lesson from them and then I got an illegal fireworks ticket.
101
#101
42 Frags +

About 3-4 years ago after a night of heavy drinking out in Belfast I ended back at a Holiday Inn (hotel chain) with a bunch of lads I knew from home. I was absolutely off my face, so I decided to set off the fire alarm at 3AM. Then as the residents came out of their rooms in to the lobby I proceeded to spray them with a fire extinguisher, the whole time laughing like a demented baby. Then I ran off in to the night, back to the house I was staying at.

I hardly remember the half of it, but the gaps were filled in for me the next day. It's a criminal offense in the UK to tamper with fire equipment, so for the next two weeks I so fucking paranoid every time I saw Police cars etc.

I've had a lot of intoxicated misadventures, but that was probably the one I am most ashamed of. Total scumbag behavior on my part, but my mates thought it was fucking hilarious!

About 3-4 years ago after a night of heavy drinking out in Belfast I ended back at a Holiday Inn (hotel chain) with a bunch of lads I knew from home. I was absolutely off my face, so I decided to set off the fire alarm at 3AM. Then as the residents came out of their rooms in to the lobby I proceeded to spray them with a fire extinguisher, the whole time laughing like a demented baby. Then I ran off in to the night, back to the house I was staying at.

I hardly remember the half of it, but the gaps were filled in for me the next day. It's a criminal offense in the UK to tamper with fire equipment, so for the next two weeks I so fucking paranoid every time I saw Police cars etc.

I've had a lot of intoxicated misadventures, but that was probably the one I am most ashamed of. Total scumbag behavior on my part, but my mates thought it was fucking hilarious!
102
#102
4 Frags +

I was eating bacon ribs and when I cut myself with a knife my friend started laughing at my so I put my hand in his mouth (don't ask) he ended up biting my finger and tearing it open further and I needed an operation.

Another time me and the same buy were putting fireworks in cowshit and watching it blow up and I decided it would be funny to tape 5 blackcats together and then put them in a bucket. When they blew up I walked over and then the rest blew up and the bucket flew up and hit me in the face.

I was eating bacon ribs and when I cut myself with a knife my friend started laughing at my so I put my hand in his mouth (don't ask) he ended up biting my finger and tearing it open further and I needed an operation.

Another time me and the same buy were putting fireworks in cowshit and watching it blow up and I decided it would be funny to tape 5 blackcats together and then put them in a bucket. When they blew up I walked over and then the rest blew up and the bucket flew up and hit me in the face.
103
#103
0 Frags +
ukmfreshman year uni while walking to a bar in hull

Oh shit are you in ottawa?

[quote=ukm]
freshman year uni while walking to a bar in hull[/quote]

Oh shit are you in ottawa?
104
#104
6 Frags +

In my first year of university, I lived with a guy who wasn't really that studious. The night before his exam, we spent drinking and smoking weed. Understandably, he really didn't want to do his exam as he hadn't prepared at all and was really drunk. So we tried to think of ways for him to avoid doing his exam. The most obvious idea to us was to get a doctor's note, but unfortunately for him, he was in good health and it was like 2am. So we decided to run over his foot and take him to A&E. So in the carpark behind our halls, we ran over his foot twice and then took him to A&E. A&E at 2-3am on a Friday night is beyond grim, especially as I live in kinda a scummy town. Loads of people are there after having fights on nights out. Seeing women kitted out in full nightout garb under the harsh hospital lighting is sobering. I was there and stayed with him to ~6am watching BBC News (ask me anything about the riots in Tunisia..) where he got x-rayed and carted around in a wheelchair. Eventually he was released with some crutches, codeine pills, some anti-inflammatories and the coveted note. Needless to say, the next night was very odd (another story for another time).

The most stupid thing about it was that he dropped out of his course 2 months later, rendering his foot-based heroics for nought...

In my first year of university, I lived with a guy who wasn't really that studious. The night before his exam, we spent drinking and smoking weed. Understandably, he really didn't want to do his exam as he hadn't prepared at all and was really drunk. So we tried to think of ways for him to avoid doing his exam. The most obvious idea to us was to get a doctor's note, but unfortunately for him, he was in good health and it was like 2am. So we decided to run over his foot and take him to A&E. So in the carpark behind our halls, we ran over his foot twice and then took him to A&E. A&E at 2-3am on a Friday night is [i]beyond[/i] grim, especially as I live in kinda a scummy town. Loads of people are there after having fights on nights out. Seeing women kitted out in full nightout garb under the harsh hospital lighting is sobering. I was there and stayed with him to ~6am watching BBC News (ask me [i]anything[/i] about the riots in Tunisia..) where he got x-rayed and carted around in a wheelchair. Eventually he was released with some crutches, codeine pills, some anti-inflammatories and the coveted note. Needless to say, the next night was very odd (another story for another time).

The most stupid thing about it was that he dropped out of his course 2 months later, rendering his foot-based heroics for nought...
105
#105
10 Frags +

Got drunk on Saturday night and then ate 4 tacos from some random taco truck at a street corner.
Nasty shits the next day lol never again

Got drunk on Saturday night and then ate 4 tacos from some random taco truck at a street corner.
Nasty shits the next day lol never again
106
#106
Twitch
9 Frags +
MR_SLINGot drunk on Saturday night and then ate 4 tacos from some random taco truck at a street corner.
Nasty shits the next day lol never again

Watched your stream.

I love you though

[quote=MR_SLIN]Got drunk on Saturday night and then ate 4 tacos from some random taco truck at a street corner.
Nasty shits the next day lol never again[/quote]

Watched your stream.


I love you though
107
#107
Twitch
1 Frags +
TwitchTVJohnMR_SLINGot drunk on Saturday night and then ate 4 tacos from some random taco truck at a street corner.
Nasty shits the next day lol never again

Watched your stream.

I love you though

Can't get that ass out of your head too?

[quote=TwitchTVJohn][quote=MR_SLIN]Got drunk on Saturday night and then ate 4 tacos from some random taco truck at a street corner.
Nasty shits the next day lol never again[/quote]

Watched your stream.


I love you though[/quote]

Can't get that ass out of your head too?
108
#108
3 Frags +

Put a chick-fil-a wrapper in a microwave.....

Put a chick-fil-a wrapper in a microwave.....
109
#109
7 Frags +

stole a necklace out of the back room of a church when i was like 5.

thought for sure i was gonna be getting rammed in the ass by the devil when i died.

stole a necklace out of the back room of a church when i was like 5.

thought for sure i was gonna be getting rammed in the ass by the devil when i died.
110
#110
1 Frags +

I asked my academic decathlon coach if she sucked a lot of dick in high school. Got away scott free.

I asked my academic decathlon coach if she sucked a lot of dick in high school. Got away scott free.
111
#111
9 Frags +

We were making rockets for some stupid class in high school.

I decided to firmly attach my nose cone on in such a manner that the parachute would not release when it fell. I also decided not to, in any manner, secure the thruster in place where it belongs, at the bottom of the rocket. So, it proceeded to shoot upwards while the tube-part of the rocket stayed in place, lighting the bottom half on fire, until it hit the immobile nose cone, & the entire thing spiraled horizontally (on fire) towards my teacher.

Funniest thing is that he had already told us "any rocket that lifts off the ground gets 100%" hahahuhaohaha

We were making rockets for some stupid class in high school.

I decided to firmly attach my nose cone on in such a manner that the parachute would not release when it fell. I also decided not to, in any manner, secure the thruster in place where it belongs, at the bottom of the rocket. So, it proceeded to shoot upwards while the tube-part of the rocket stayed in place, lighting the bottom half on fire, until it hit the immobile nose cone, & the entire thing spiraled horizontally (on fire) towards my teacher.

Funniest thing is that he had already told us "any rocket that lifts off the ground gets 100%" hahahuhaohaha
112
#112
9 Frags +

When I was fairly young, around 10, I was on holiday in Poland visiting family and one sunny summer afternoon said family took us into town for some prayers at the local church. It being a holy place it was extremely quiet at the time and due to the construction and size of the place noise echoed very easily, so you couldn't even talk without everyone hearing you. Anyway after 10 minutes of my family enjoying themselves and me being VERY bored I decided to do something which I thought would be hilarious - which was to let out an extremely long, loud and vibrating fart, which then proceeded to echo throughout the church for several seconds after I had finished emitting the beast.

Me being me I found this completely hilarious and could not contain my laughter, a short while later me and my family were politely asked to leave as I couldn't stop my laughing.

I will remember that fart for the rest of my life.

When I was fairly young, around 10, I was on holiday in Poland visiting family and one sunny summer afternoon said family took us into town for some prayers at the local church. It being a holy place it was extremely quiet at the time and due to the construction and size of the place noise echoed very easily, so you couldn't even talk without everyone hearing you. Anyway after 10 minutes of my family enjoying themselves and me being VERY bored I decided to do something which I thought would be hilarious - which was to let out an extremely long, loud and vibrating fart, which then proceeded to echo throughout the church for several seconds after I had finished emitting the beast.

Me being me I found this completely hilarious and could not contain my laughter, a short while later me and my family were politely asked to leave as I couldn't stop my laughing.

I will remember that fart for the rest of my life.
113
#113
2 Frags +
panzerxiiiWhen I went camping in the Scouts, I had somehow managed to dump 5 gallons of water on only a quarter of a campfire. No one wanted to make the walk back to the pump so I ended up peeing on the fire. GG piss fumes for an hour and a half.
21-the-bearded-wonderi got ridiculously drunk when doing a tf2 stream, according to the people who watched the 8 hour plus stream i was shirtless for at least 3 hours of it, asked some random chick i met on steam a week before to marry me and bare my children, fell out of my chair multiple times and alot of other stupid things. the stream never ended because i was so drunk i couldn't even see my computer screen from 1 inch away and i ended up turning it off when i woke up the next day with half my bed covered in puke. needless to say i don't plan on ever doing a drunken tf2 stream again , or for that matter drinking that much again.

if anyone's curious i deleted the stream outta shame sorry,

Most recently, I also did a drunk stream but I think mine wasn't as bad. lol

nice try, panzer

[quote=panzerxiii]When I went camping in the Scouts, I had somehow managed to dump 5 gallons of water on only a quarter of a campfire. No one wanted to make the walk back to the pump so I ended up peeing on the fire. GG piss fumes for an hour and a half.

[quote=21-the-bearded-wonder]i got ridiculously drunk when doing a tf2 stream, according to the people who watched the 8 hour plus stream i was shirtless for at least 3 hours of it, asked some random chick i met on steam a week before to marry me and bare my children, fell out of my chair multiple times and alot of other stupid things. the stream never ended because i was so drunk i couldn't even see my computer screen from 1 inch away and i ended up turning it off when i woke up the next day with half my bed covered in puke. needless to say i don't plan on ever doing a drunken tf2 stream again , or for that matter drinking that much again.

if anyone's curious i deleted the stream outta shame sorry,[/quote]

Most recently, I also did a drunk stream but I think mine wasn't as bad. lol[/quote]


nice try, panzer
114
#114
2 Frags +

ran around a high school in a speedo in the middle of a blizzard freshman year during the middle of swim practice

ran around a high school in a speedo in the middle of a blizzard freshman year during the middle of swim practice
115
#115
8 Frags +

When I was a little kid there was this kid in my class who used to pick on me all the time. Years passed with this situation going on until the day I finally decided to kick him in the butt so hardly that he said he literally felt it for 2 weeks.

Years later we went on a trip for 3 days with all of my class to some place near to a hill. First day activity was to climb the hill. I've been trying to get with this girl for some time now so I start climbing with her. 10 minutes in I was about to die, I wanted to either turn back, take an hour break or just die, sweat could be found in every part of my body, girl was not impressed. We kept climbing and somewhere near to the top the girl losses her grip and starts sliding down. Next thing you know, the same kid that used to pick on me grabs her BY THE ASS and stops her from falling. We're talking Brazilian sized ass here. They made out later that night.

Time passed, same guy, biology class. He jokingly pokes me with a scalpel in the stomach using the side without the blade. I didn't see what he poked me with so I grab the thing to try to take it away and I cut my thumb. I was millimeters away from losing the finger. I still have the scar.

Last year of high school, same guy is fooling around near to the door of a classroom. Some girl closes the door and his finger gets stuck between the door and the door frame. He screams in pain very loudly and pulls his hand out of it. Part of his middle finger gets chopped away. Piece of meat that used to be his finger is lying on the floor. He runs to the nursing and a friend of his grabs the piece of meat and runs behind him. Karma is a bitch.

His finger is fine now but he has a weird scar on it. He calls it his "Vagina Finger". We still laugh when we meet.

When I was a little kid there was this kid in my class who used to pick on me all the time. Years passed with this situation going on until the day I finally decided to kick him in the butt so hardly that he said he literally felt it for 2 weeks.

Years later we went on a trip for 3 days with all of my class to some place near to a hill. First day activity was to climb the hill. I've been trying to get with this girl for some time now so I start climbing with her. 10 minutes in I was about to die, I wanted to either turn back, take an hour break or just die, sweat could be found in every part of my body, girl was not impressed. We kept climbing and somewhere near to the top the girl losses her grip and starts sliding down. Next thing you know, the same kid that used to pick on me grabs her BY THE ASS and stops her from falling. We're talking Brazilian sized ass here. They made out later that night.

Time passed, same guy, biology class. He jokingly pokes me with a scalpel in the stomach using the side without the blade. I didn't see what he poked me with so I grab the thing to try to take it away and I cut my thumb. I was millimeters away from losing the finger. I still have the scar.

Last year of high school, same guy is fooling around near to the door of a classroom. Some girl closes the door and his finger gets stuck between the door and the door frame. He screams in pain very loudly and pulls his hand out of it. Part of his middle finger gets chopped away. Piece of meat that used to be his finger is lying on the floor. He runs to the nursing and a friend of his grabs the piece of meat and runs behind him. Karma is a bitch.

His finger is fine now but he has a weird scar on it. He calls it his "Vagina Finger". We still laugh when we meet.
116
#116
3 Frags +

opiates.

opiates.
117
#117
14 Frags +

One time I put a bitcoin miner into the ESEA client and thought no one would notice.

posted on ipkanes behalf.

One time I put a bitcoin miner into the ESEA client and thought no one would notice.

posted on ipkanes behalf.
118
#118
9 Frags +

I once stole a peanut from a store.
and I waited a whole three minutes before I walked back in and returned it

#badass4lyfe

I once stole a peanut from a store.
and I waited a whole three minutes before I walked back in and returned it

#badass4lyfe
119
#119
-18 Frags +

though about signing up for esea, not anymore.

though about signing up for esea, not anymore.
120
#120
4 Frags +

Back when I was like 16, I was feeling especially lazy and didn't want to walk all the way back to my car at the far end of the school parking lot after school let out. I asked my friend for a ride and he told me to hop in the bed of his truck. I do and almost immediately after I step foot in the truck bed he floors it and my ass goes flying out of the back of his truck. Landed only a few inches from a curb, my hands cushioning all of the fall. Needless to say they were torn up to shit. I have said friend pull the ~15 year old first aid kit out of the back of my car and proceeds to perform the most half-assed triage imaginable to my hands. Had to drive my car home with the tips of my fingers. Ended up with my hands in bandages for weeks after that.

No video games :(

Back when I was like 16, I was feeling especially lazy and didn't want to walk all the way back to my car at the far end of the school parking lot after school let out. I asked my friend for a ride and he told me to hop in the bed of his truck. I do and almost immediately after I step foot in the truck bed he floors it and my ass goes flying out of the back of his truck. Landed only a few inches from a curb, my hands cushioning all of the fall. Needless to say they were torn up to shit. I have said friend pull the ~15 year old first aid kit out of the back of my car and proceeds to perform the most half-assed triage imaginable to my hands. Had to drive my car home with the tips of my fingers. Ended up with my hands in bandages for weeks after that.

No video games :(
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