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Fat shaming
posted in Off Topic
1
#1
-15 Frags +

I have a friend IRL that is obese. She is still pretty fashionable, very indie looking, etc, but she is obese. She eats a lot and she doesn't exercise.

She keeps complaining about how other people make fun of her when she's working at her (plus size) clothing store. I never comment on her weight - it doesn't bother me on its own, but sometimes there are times when I want to and I don't, because I'm her friend.

I personally think its pretty unreasonable to expect people not to shame you if you're obese, since it is an inherently unhealthy/ugly trait. I would never hate on anyone solely because of their weight, don't get me wrong - but, there are plenty of times when it does seem appropriate to shame someone and bring them back down to reality.

opinions

I have a friend IRL that is obese. She is still pretty fashionable, very indie looking, etc, but she is obese. She eats a lot and she doesn't exercise.

She keeps complaining about how other people make fun of her when she's working at her (plus size) clothing store. I never comment on her weight - it doesn't bother me on its own, but sometimes there are times when I want to and I don't, because I'm her friend.

I personally think its pretty unreasonable to expect people not to shame you if you're obese, since it is an inherently unhealthy/ugly trait. I would never hate on anyone solely because of their weight, don't get me wrong - but, there are plenty of times when it does seem appropriate to shame someone and bring them back down to reality.

opinions
2
#2
16 Frags +

Shaming someone is different than offering support or trying to help them. A lot of obese people are only obese due to underlying issues.

Shaming someone is different than offering support or trying to help them. A lot of obese people are only obese due to underlying issues.
3
#3
30 Frags +

If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.
4
#4
0 Frags +

I should clarify that by shaming, I mean offering any type of input in regards to their weight, positive or negative intentions, since that seems to be what people mean on reddit/etc

I should clarify that by shaming, I mean offering any type of input in regards to their weight, positive or negative intentions, since that seems to be what people mean on reddit/etc
5
#5
9 Frags +

I'm pretty sure she's already aware of the fact that she's not in the best shape. It's her decision weather or not she wants to do something about it.

I'm pretty sure she's already aware of the fact that she's not in the best shape. It's her decision weather or not she wants to do something about it.
6
#6
15 Frags +
wafflebI should clarify that by shaming, I mean offering any type of input in regards to their weight, positive or negative intentions, since that seems to be what people mean on reddit/etc

If you are obese, you have offered far more thought into your own obesity than anyone else, so to assume that they need someone to "open their eyes" to their obesity is a little silly. They already know they are obese. Like I said, maybe she is depressed, which leads to overeating. That won't be fixed by calling them fat or telling them they need to lose weight.

[quote=waffleb]I should clarify that by shaming, I mean offering any type of input in regards to their weight, positive or negative intentions, since that seems to be what people mean on reddit/etc[/quote]

If you are obese, you have offered far more thought into your own obesity than anyone else, so to assume that they need someone to "open their eyes" to their obesity is a little silly. They already know they are obese. Like I said, maybe she is depressed, which leads to overeating. That won't be fixed by calling them fat or telling them they need to lose weight.
7
#7
18 Frags +
wafflebI should clarify that by shaming, I mean offering any type of input in regards to their weight, positive or negative intentions, since that seems to be what people mean on reddit/etc

Don't call it shaming. That's entirely different than what you're referring to.

[quote=waffleb]I should clarify that by shaming, I mean offering any type of input in regards to their weight, positive or negative intentions, since that seems to be what people mean on reddit/etc[/quote]
Don't call it shaming. That's entirely different than what you're referring to.
8
#8
13 Frags +

this act of shaming someone because of their diet/weight has been found to increase the unhealthy eating behavior. So you may think you are being helpful by being brutally honest, but you are in fact doing the opposite.

this act of shaming someone because of their diet/weight has been found to increase the unhealthy eating behavior. So you may think you are being helpful by being brutally honest, but you are in fact doing the opposite.
9
#9
Tip of the Hats
20 Frags +

From what I understand obesity can stem from depression or high stress (among other things). Being made fun of probably will make it worse, even though you might think it would inspire them to prove everyone wrong.

From what I understand obesity can stem from depression or high stress (among other things). Being made fun of probably will make it worse, even though you might think it would inspire them to prove everyone wrong.
10
#10
7 Frags +
wafflebI should clarify that by shaming, I mean offering any type of input in regards to their weight, positive or negative intentions, since that seems to be what people mean on reddit/etc

So you are shaming them unless you ignore the (ENTIRELY PROVERBIAL) elephant in the room?

[quote=waffleb]I should clarify that by shaming, I mean offering any type of input in regards to their weight, positive or negative intentions, since that seems to be what people mean on reddit/etc[/quote]
So you are shaming them unless you ignore the (ENTIRELY PROVERBIAL) elephant in the room?
11
#11
9 Frags +
ThunderchunkiewafflebI should clarify that by shaming, I mean offering any type of input in regards to their weight, positive or negative intentions, since that seems to be what people mean on reddit/etcSo you are shaming them unless you ignore the (ENTIRELY PROVERBIAL) elephant in the room?

aint that proverbial

[quote=Thunderchunkie][quote=waffleb]I should clarify that by shaming, I mean offering any type of input in regards to their weight, positive or negative intentions, since that seems to be what people mean on reddit/etc[/quote]
So you are shaming them unless you ignore the (ENTIRELY PROVERBIAL) elephant in the room?[/quote]
aint that proverbial
12
#12
-22 Frags +

i don't give a shit about other people

just don't stuff your fucking face in confined public places, like buses and subways

as a skinny dude, i do not want to date a girl who weighs/eats more than i do

bad genetics is unfortunate but i probably won't have many common interests as they involve being active

also, indie looking is not fashionable ha ha ha

i don't give a shit about other people

just don't stuff your fucking face in confined public places, like buses and subways

as a skinny dude, i do not want to date a girl who weighs/eats more than i do

bad genetics is unfortunate but i probably won't have many common interests as they involve being active

also, indie looking is not fashionable ha ha ha
13
#13
4 Frags +

There's definitely a difference between those that are obese and those that are fat. Fat is a genetic predisposition that can be helped with diet and excercise and . . . you know, some self control.
Obesity usually due to some weird psych-jive that's really just

Show Content
excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses

and should be treated as such. If somebody keeps drinking to near death every night, you call them out on it and hopefully they change. But if somebody is fat because of some bullshit reason they come up with, it's suddenly wrong?

Yeah, fuck that, lose weight.

There's definitely a difference between those that are obese and those that are fat. Fat is a genetic predisposition that can be helped with diet and excercise and . . . you know, some self control.
Obesity usually due to some weird psych-jive that's really just [spoiler]excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses[/spoiler] and should be treated as such. If somebody keeps drinking to near death every night, you call them out on it and hopefully they change. But if somebody is fat because of some bullshit reason they come up with, it's suddenly wrong?

Yeah, fuck that, lose weight.
14
#14
10 Frags +

do unto others

seriously

do unto others

seriously
15
#15
19 Frags +
thronesi don't give a shit about other people

just don't stuff your fucking face in confined public places, like buses and subways

as a skinny dude, i do not want to date a girl who weighs/eats more than i do

bad genetics is unfortunate but i probably won't have many common interests as they involve being active

also, indie looking is not fashionable ha ha ha

with that attitude, i truly hope nobody gives a shit about you

[quote=thrones]i don't give a shit about other people

just don't stuff your fucking face in confined public places, like buses and subways

as a skinny dude, i do not want to date a girl who weighs/eats more than i do

bad genetics is unfortunate but i probably won't have many common interests as they involve being active

also, indie looking is not fashionable ha ha ha[/quote]
with that attitude, i truly hope nobody gives a shit about you
16
#16
10 Frags +
wafflebvery indie looking

I found part of her problem m8

In all seriousness "fat shaming" and anything tumblr/reddit spits out to add to the hurt feelings train that everyone seems to be riding blows EVERYTHING out of proportion. Like truktruk said,

obesity can stem from depression or high stress (among other things)

There are also genetic and some socioeconomic factors that are behind obesity as well - for instance, my family has trouble metabolizing carbohydrates and diabetes and high blood pressure run in my family. It's not always someone's choice to be obese, and there's a reason why it's being recognized as a disease by many. On the other hand, there's an entire sexual subculture dedicated to fat where people make the choice to be obese. There are also people who are just fat lazy greasy fucks who will ride de modorized gard into de walmard and buy 12 liters of diet coke and then stob by de wendys for 6 bagonadors :DDDDDD god bless ameriga :DDDDD who are fat as motherfuckers and that's no one else's fault but their own.

I can spout factoids that I've learned all I want, but the absolute best person to talk to about obesity would be a licensed medical specialist of some sort who can speak objectively and subjectively about people affected by obesity, not your local gym's nutritionist. A gastroenterologist or a nutritionist THROUGH a GE would be your best bet to getting someone you know who is obese some help.

Have a corgi driving a car as compensation

http://i.imgur.com/Ph9BZLM.jpg

[quote=waffleb]very indie looking[/quote]
I found part of her problem m8

In all seriousness "fat shaming" and anything tumblr/reddit spits out to add to the hurt feelings train that everyone seems to be riding blows EVERYTHING out of proportion. Like truktruk said, [quote]obesity can stem from depression or high stress (among other things)[/quote] There are also genetic and some socioeconomic factors that are behind obesity as well - for instance, my family has trouble metabolizing carbohydrates and diabetes and high blood pressure run in my family. It's not always someone's choice to be obese, and there's a reason why it's being recognized as a disease by many. On the other hand, there's an entire sexual subculture dedicated to fat where people make the choice to be obese. There are also people who are just fat lazy greasy fucks who will ride de modorized gard into de walmard and buy 12 liters of diet coke and then stob by de wendys for 6 bagonadors :DDDDDD god bless ameriga :DDDDD who are fat as motherfuckers and that's no one else's fault but their own.

I can spout factoids that I've learned all I want, but the absolute best person to talk to about obesity would be a licensed medical specialist of some sort who can speak objectively and subjectively about people affected by obesity, not your local gym's nutritionist. A gastroenterologist or a nutritionist THROUGH a GE would be your best bet to getting someone you know who is obese some help.

Have a corgi driving a car as compensation
[img]http://i.imgur.com/Ph9BZLM.jpg[/img]
17
#17
16 Frags +

who here likes big booties

who here likes big booties
18
#18
0 Frags +

If people really gave a damn about being obese they would be trying to make an effort, however they rather just make excuses and continue to be overweight.

If people really gave a damn about being obese they would be trying to make an effort, however they rather just make excuses and continue to be overweight.
19
#19
-6 Frags +
clamthronesi don't give a shit about other people

just don't stuff your fucking face in confined public places, like buses and subways

as a skinny dude, i do not want to date a girl who weighs/eats more than i do

bad genetics is unfortunate but i probably won't have many common interests as they involve being active

also, indie looking is not fashionable ha ha ha
with that attitude, i truly hope nobody gives a shit about you

ostracization by asshole opinion is the way i want to die

[quote=clam][quote=thrones]i don't give a shit about other people

just don't stuff your fucking face in confined public places, like buses and subways

as a skinny dude, i do not want to date a girl who weighs/eats more than i do

bad genetics is unfortunate but i probably won't have many common interests as they involve being active

also, indie looking is not fashionable ha ha ha[/quote]
with that attitude, i truly hope nobody gives a shit about you[/quote]
ostracization by asshole opinion is the way i want to die
20
#20
12 Frags +

if u aint never been fat u dont know what its like to be fat and the effect that has on how you're treated, your general energy / motivation levels, how much more difficult and painful exercise becomes etc

excuses like those won't help someone lose weight, sure, but neither will you bein negative and judgemental towards em

u heard that expression dont judge a man til u've walked a mile in his shoes? or be kind to others because everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle?

if u aint never been fat u dont know what its like to be fat and the effect that has on how you're treated, your general energy / motivation levels, how much more difficult and painful exercise becomes etc

excuses like those won't help someone lose weight, sure, but neither will you bein negative and judgemental towards em

u heard that expression dont judge a man til u've walked a mile in his shoes? or be kind to others because everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle?
21
#21
20 Frags +
wwho here likes big booties

hello

[quote=w]who here likes big booties[/quote]

hello
22
#22
-1 Frags +

Obesity to me is just a more obvious addiction than others. Obviously there can be underlying reasons for it, but it's essentially just a different poison over alcohol and stuff.

Obesity to me is just a more obvious addiction than others. Obviously there can be underlying reasons for it, but it's essentially just a different poison over alcohol and stuff.
23
#23
6 Frags +

rofl wat ^

rofl wat ^
24
#24
0 Frags +

I wouldn't let a friend walk around with an open cut. It's unsanitary, unattractive, and just unhealthy and dangerous. I'd do what I could to get them to heal it, but if they keep picking at it, despite my attempts to help, then I'd say they deserve the infection they inevitably get.

I wouldn't let a friend walk around with an open cut. It's unsanitary, unattractive, and just unhealthy and dangerous. I'd do what I could to get them to heal it, but if they keep picking at it, despite my attempts to help, then I'd say they deserve the infection they inevitably get.
25
#25
1 Frags +
wafflebI should clarify that by shaming, I mean offering any type of input in regards to their weight, positive or negative intentions, since that seems to be what people mean on reddit/etc

maybe she should lose weight

[quote=waffleb]I should clarify that by shaming, I mean offering any type of input in regards to their weight, positive or negative intentions, since that seems to be what people mean on reddit/etc[/quote]
maybe she should lose weight
26
#26
4 Frags +

Talk about what exercise and healthy foods you enjoy. Bring her recipes of a healthy alternative to a meal she usually likes to eat. If you bring a healthy snack to work, share it with her and tell her how you prepared it. Invite her to go running/work out with you. Go for hikes with friends and invite her. Live and show by example.

Talk about what exercise and healthy foods you enjoy. Bring her recipes of a healthy alternative to a meal she usually likes to eat. If you bring a healthy snack to work, share it with her and tell her how you prepared it. Invite her to go running/work out with you. Go for hikes with friends and invite her. Live and show by example.
27
#27
10 Frags +

tell her you're a competitive tf2 player and get her into it too.

tell her you're a competitive tf2 player and get her into it too.
28
#28
-1 Frags +

people are assholes and always will be assholes

people are assholes and always will be assholes
29
#29
3 Frags +

I think Kip has it right. It's hard to explain to people why you're concerned with their weight and diet without them getting defensive and hurt. Including your friend in healthful activities is a good workaround in my opinion.

I think Kip has it right. It's hard to explain to people why you're concerned with their weight and diet without them getting defensive and hurt. Including your friend in healthful activities is a good workaround in my opinion.
30
#30
4 Frags +

If someone is overweight/obese and care about their health, they'll work to better themselves.

It can be hard to tell a friend, especially if it's a girl.. But it's better they hear it from someone that cares then a random stranger who is out to make her feel bad.

Eventually she'll come to her own (hopefully).

If you do decide to help her straighten out her life make sure she knows that exercise alone doesn't help, and neither does diet alone. It needs to be a fine balance of both.

If someone is overweight/obese and care about their health, they'll work to better themselves.

It can be hard to tell a friend, especially if it's a girl.. But it's better they hear it from someone that cares then a random stranger who is out to make her feel bad.

Eventually she'll come to her own (hopefully).

If you do decide to help her straighten out her life make sure she knows that exercise alone doesn't help, and neither does diet alone. It needs to be a fine balance of both.
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