When I was 16 began going to community college with my cousin who lived with us, we would study outside together because she could smoke and I enjoyed the fresh air and sunlight and so on, it was an enjoyable time, sometimes we would get pizza from the cafeteria ten feet away and eat while we studied and worked and she smoked. I never smoked with her because I didn't want to go down that road and I was perfectly fine without it I had never heard of it having much benefit other than stress relief but I wasn't remotely enticed.
My supercatholic family eventually discovered I didn't share their religious beliefs and my world transformed, I didn't know how much I needed the polite cheerful greetings in the morning or the love of my family until the tone of everyone in my family was replaced by snarky passive suspicious arrogant better than you tone that I had to endure for the next 2 or 3 years.
I had no privacy, because at any point in time they wanted to know if I was "doing any satanic shit" I tried to talk to the only person in the world I figured might support me in the tinyest way about it, my gay uncle who basically responded with "they did worse 2 me so fuk u pussy"
My mind was turned upside down in a week, I was at the breaking point of tears(which says something, because I was born with a condition where crying is almost impossible for me), I had plans before but now I didn't everything was topsy turvy, I was so out of my mind from the daily disrespect, distrust and arrogant "you're retarded and slightly evil" attitude I got from my family ,(and mainly the day or 2 everyone in my family wanted to get ahold of my through phone or face-to-face to yell at me and demean me) I was just going through the motions and habits of being alive and pretending it wasn't like that because I didn't want to talk about it. The internal chatter of my mind, that voice in my head that everyone has was silent. A week later my cousin and I were smoking outside, and she looked at me, and must have realized what was going on inside of me, and gave me a cigarette. I no longer cared about life or the future or had any conscious thoughts so I took it and smoked it and everything was right with the world, there was peace. I wasn't completely depressed, I was actually able to get back to studying, but the feeling only lasted a half an hour, and at this point I couldn't bring myself to care about the classes because all of my plans were trashed and I was under too much mental duress to come up with new ones.
It only got worse when my cousin told them a month later I was "smoking and summoning demons and shes worried about me." "Now look what that evil path of devil has done its driven you to smoke and probably drink and throw your life away" (The irony 0_0)
I began smoking whenever I could, whenever I could get a hold of them to take my mind off of losing the people that meant everything to me, because I couldn't buy them myself I asked family that smoked to get them for me. (It always seemed really bipolar to me, that they did that for me.)
When I turned 18 I moved to another state and basically told them "later bitches." I never really mentally recovered and still quite haven't but I was able to buy my own smokes and I chainsmoked the hell out of them to keep my mind off of everything. 2-3 maybe 4 packs a day for 2 years, until one day in the middle of a highlander scrim like 2 years ago I coughed and wheezed so much that I had to stop and couldn't say shit to my team, who began to wonder wtf why did the medic just completely stop and not say anything, so I tried to talk but all that came through when I held the mumble key down, was wheezing and hacking. (which really scared them because now all they hear after a minute of silence is choking and coughing) I quit cold turkey on that day. I gave my pack and 2 or 3 remaining cartons of cigarettes to my roommate told him "I'm done smoking here enjoy."