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Rehab and Art
posted in Off Topic
1
#1
0 Frags +

So during the last month and a half I have been going through some crazy stuff. I mentioned before in a thread that I was dealing with issues like my battle with dextromethorphan, an over the counter drug found in HBR branded cough medicines, as well as other drugs. I was preparing to be homeless and had a nothing to loose "fuck it all" mentality.

I wasn't happy to find out my "plans" where being interrupted by my family forcing me into rehab. I had to get involved in AA and NA meetings. I fucking hated everything and everyone except for like one guy that was there because of drinking and driving. He wasn't very open about it, nor did he like explaining how he was under age and on xanax.

The only thing I had was a art book and some of my pens. I had nothing else to do (I did actually, but I didn't want to participate in the bullshit activities I hated at the time) so I drew everyday until the last week. Over time I felt better. I looked better as well. That dxm shit will make you look fatigued beyond words. I was eventually able to sleep and get up at a normal hour.

Soon I was able to talk and discuss things with my therapist, and he helped me sort some shit out in my head. I didn't realize what I had in my book, nor did I have any plans on sharing it. I realized I was just killing myself with the stuff and wasting every bit of talent I had. I criticize my work a lot, I'm never 100% happy with anything. I would beat myself up about it all the time, and eventually I would just do that with everything.

So yea, I'm going to some outpatient program now (I got out of rehab this morning) and a new NA meeting. I still got some work to do in regards to myself, but one of the key things is telling folks about what you are going through.

Here is the pages from my book. I cleaned them up a bit, for the sake of presentation. I was gunna post this in the art thread, but I really didn't want to take this discussion and post this much art and blow up the thread.

http://th06.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2014/287/3/7/barnacleshirt_by_barnaclebrain-d82uewx.jpg

http://th05.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2014/287/a/b/22_by_barnaclebrain-d82uew7.jpg

http://th04.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2014/287/8/7/12_by_barnaclebrain-d82ueud.jpg

http://th09.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2014/287/d/7/10_by_barnaclebrain-d82uetz.jpg

http://th09.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2014/287/2/6/witchitch_by_barnaclebrain-d82uex7.jpg

http://th08.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2014/287/a/2/23_by_barnaclebrain-d82uewa.jpg

http://th07.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2014/287/d/b/1_by_barnaclebrain-d82uf5a.jpg

http://th04.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2014/287/a/1/13_by_barnaclebrain-d82ueuh.jpg

http://th04.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2014/287/a/7/21_by_barnaclebrain-d82uew3.jpg

http://th04.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2014/287/6/c/15_by_barnaclebrain-d82ueuu.jpg

http://th00.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2014/287/d/5/25_by_barnaclebrain-d82uewn.jpg

http://th07.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2014/287/1/0/rehab_book_page_one_by_barnaclebrain-d82uetc.jpg

http://th00.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2014/287/5/6/9_by_barnaclebrain-d82uetv.jpg

http://th09.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2014/287/a/e/2_by_barnaclebrain-d82uf55.jpg

http://th03.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2014/287/6/0/19_by_barnaclebrain-d82uevn.jpg

http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2014/287/e/1/24_by_barnaclebrain-d82uewf.jpg

http://th03.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2014/287/6/b/11_by_barnaclebrain-d82ueu9.jpg

http://th05.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2014/287/8/d/14_by_barnaclebrain-d82ueup.jpg

http://th03.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2014/287/c/a/6_by_barnaclebrain-d82ueti.jpg

http://th04.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2014/287/9/1/20_by_barnaclebrain-d82uevx.jpg

http://th07.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2014/287/5/1/8_by_barnaclebrain-d82uetp.jpg

http://th00.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2014/287/d/8/3_by_barnaclebrain-d82uf50.jpg

http://th01.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2014/287/c/a/18_by_barnaclebrain-d82uevf.jpg

http://th06.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2014/287/0/7/7_by_barnaclebrain-d82uetl.jpg

http://th04.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2014/287/0/3/16_by_barnaclebrain-d82uev2.jpg

http://th06.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2014/287/9/1/17_by_barnaclebrain-d82uev8.jpg

http://th02.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2014/287/2/a/4_by_barnaclebrain-d82uf4u.jpg

So during the last month and a half I have been going through some crazy stuff. I mentioned before in a thread that I was dealing with issues like my battle with dextromethorphan, an over the counter drug found in HBR branded cough medicines, as well as other drugs. I was preparing to be homeless and had a nothing to loose "fuck it all" mentality.

I wasn't happy to find out my "plans" where being interrupted by my family forcing me into rehab. I had to get involved in AA and NA meetings. I fucking hated everything and everyone except for like one guy that was there because of drinking and driving. He wasn't very open about it, nor did he like explaining how he was under age and on xanax.

The only thing I had was a art book and some of my pens. I had nothing else to do (I did actually, but I didn't want to participate in the bullshit activities I hated at the time) so I drew everyday until the last week. Over time I felt better. I looked better as well. That dxm shit will make you look fatigued beyond words. I was eventually able to sleep and get up at a normal hour.

Soon I was able to talk and discuss things with my therapist, and he helped me sort some shit out in my head. I didn't realize what I had in my book, nor did I have any plans on sharing it. I realized I was just killing myself with the stuff and wasting every bit of talent I had. I criticize my work a lot, I'm never 100% happy with anything. I would beat myself up about it all the time, and eventually I would just do that with everything.

So yea, I'm going to some outpatient program now (I got out of rehab this morning) and a new NA meeting. I still got some work to do in regards to myself, but one of the key things is telling folks about what you are going through.

Here is the pages from my book. I cleaned them up a bit, for the sake of presentation. I was gunna post this in the art thread, but I really didn't want to take this discussion and post this much art and blow up the thread.


[img]http://th06.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2014/287/3/7/barnacleshirt_by_barnaclebrain-d82uewx.jpg[/img]
[img]http://th05.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2014/287/a/b/22_by_barnaclebrain-d82uew7.jpg[/img]
[img]http://th04.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2014/287/8/7/12_by_barnaclebrain-d82ueud.jpg[/img]
[img]http://th09.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2014/287/d/7/10_by_barnaclebrain-d82uetz.jpg[/img]
[img]http://th09.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2014/287/2/6/witchitch_by_barnaclebrain-d82uex7.jpg[/img]
[img]http://th08.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2014/287/a/2/23_by_barnaclebrain-d82uewa.jpg[/img]
[img]http://th07.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2014/287/d/b/1_by_barnaclebrain-d82uf5a.jpg[/img]
[img]http://th04.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2014/287/a/1/13_by_barnaclebrain-d82ueuh.jpg[/img]
[img]http://th04.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2014/287/a/7/21_by_barnaclebrain-d82uew3.jpg[/img]
[img]http://th04.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2014/287/6/c/15_by_barnaclebrain-d82ueuu.jpg[/img]
[img]http://th00.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2014/287/d/5/25_by_barnaclebrain-d82uewn.jpg[/img]
[img]http://th07.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2014/287/1/0/rehab_book_page_one_by_barnaclebrain-d82uetc.jpg[/img]
[img]http://th00.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2014/287/5/6/9_by_barnaclebrain-d82uetv.jpg[/img]
[img]http://th09.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2014/287/a/e/2_by_barnaclebrain-d82uf55.jpg[/img]
[img]http://th03.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2014/287/6/0/19_by_barnaclebrain-d82uevn.jpg[/img]
[img]http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2014/287/e/1/24_by_barnaclebrain-d82uewf.jpg[/img]
[img]http://th03.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2014/287/6/b/11_by_barnaclebrain-d82ueu9.jpg[/img]
[img]http://th05.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2014/287/8/d/14_by_barnaclebrain-d82ueup.jpg[/img]
[img]http://th03.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2014/287/c/a/6_by_barnaclebrain-d82ueti.jpg[/img]
[img]http://th04.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2014/287/9/1/20_by_barnaclebrain-d82uevx.jpg[/img]
[img]http://th07.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2014/287/5/1/8_by_barnaclebrain-d82uetp.jpg[/img]
[img]http://th00.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2014/287/d/8/3_by_barnaclebrain-d82uf50.jpg[/img]
[img]http://th01.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2014/287/c/a/18_by_barnaclebrain-d82uevf.jpg[/img]
[img]http://th06.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2014/287/0/7/7_by_barnaclebrain-d82uetl.jpg[/img]
[img]http://th04.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2014/287/0/3/16_by_barnaclebrain-d82uev2.jpg[/img]
[img]http://th06.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2014/287/9/1/17_by_barnaclebrain-d82uev8.jpg[/img]
[img]http://th02.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2014/287/2/a/4_by_barnaclebrain-d82uf4u.jpg[/img]
2
#2
21 Frags +

Dude, you're really talented and your story really played some heart strings. Good job bettering yourself and I hope for you the best.

Dude, you're really talented and your story really played some heart strings. Good job bettering yourself and I hope for you the best.
3
#3
7 Frags +

I know that you hate it and it sounds dumb, but keep going to meetings. Even if everything they say is retarded and you hate everyone there, you think the 12 steps is dumb whatever, even having any connection with people in that community will help you stay sober. Seriously never stop going to meetings.

I know that you hate it and it sounds dumb, but keep going to meetings. Even if everything they say is retarded and you hate everyone there, you think the 12 steps is dumb whatever, even having any connection with people in that community will help you stay sober. Seriously never stop going to meetings.
4
#4
23 Frags +

do punk album covers

do punk album covers
5
#5
4 Frags +
ZoltanI know that you hate it and it sounds dumb, but keep going to meetings. Even if everything they say is retarded and you hate everyone there, you think the 12 steps is dumb whatever, even having any connection with people in that community will help you stay sober. Seriously never stop going to meetings.

yea, I'll keep going to NA meetings for the next 90 days after i get out from my outpatient group every other day. I know some folks can do without it, everyone is different and I really have no idea, nor do I wanna risk testing the idea of me not going.

[quote=Zoltan]I know that you hate it and it sounds dumb, but keep going to meetings. Even if everything they say is retarded and you hate everyone there, you think the 12 steps is dumb whatever, even having any connection with people in that community will help you stay sober. Seriously never stop going to meetings.[/quote]

yea, I'll keep going to NA meetings for the next 90 days after i get out from my outpatient group every other day. I know some folks can do without it, everyone is different and I really have no idea, nor do I wanna risk testing the idea of me not going.
6
#6
1 Frags +
futureZoltanI know that you hate it and it sounds dumb, but keep going to meetings. Even if everything they say is retarded and you hate everyone there, you think the 12 steps is dumb whatever, even having any connection with people in that community will help you stay sober. Seriously never stop going to meetings.
yea, I'll keep going to NA meetings for the next 90 days after i get out from my outpatient group every other day. I know some folks can do without it, everyone is different and I really have no idea, nor do I wanna risk testing the idea of me not going.

Yeah, sorry if I came off as a bit preachy, but I know a lot of people that struggle from addiction, and that's one of the biggest things that can help from the people I've seen.

[quote=future][quote=Zoltan]I know that you hate it and it sounds dumb, but keep going to meetings. Even if everything they say is retarded and you hate everyone there, you think the 12 steps is dumb whatever, even having any connection with people in that community will help you stay sober. Seriously never stop going to meetings.[/quote]

yea, I'll keep going to NA meetings for the next 90 days after i get out from my outpatient group every other day. I know some folks can do without it, everyone is different and I really have no idea, nor do I wanna risk testing the idea of me not going.[/quote]

Yeah, sorry if I came off as a bit preachy, but I know a lot of people that struggle from addiction, and that's one of the biggest things that can help from the people I've seen.
7
#7
1 Frags +

yeah omg all this art reminds me of the punk band Rich Kids on LSD and NOFX when they were new

yeah omg all this art reminds me of the punk band Rich Kids on LSD and NOFX when they were new
8
#8
3 Frags +

Fucking elated that you're back, it seems like these events kinda rejuvenated your art. Lookin good

Fucking elated that you're back, it seems like these events kinda rejuvenated your art. Lookin good
9
#9
4 Frags +

good shit
keep it up for real, you're talented

good shit
keep it up for real, you're talented
10
#10
2 Frags +

your style is sick and so is your story
stay on the good path bud

your style is sick and so is your story
stay on the good path bud
11
#11
2 Frags +

That's really good stuff.

That's really good stuff.
12
#12
1 Frags +
goatdo punk album covers

and skateboards.

Your style is so sick. It's awesome that drawing has been helping you, and best of luck with the rest of the meetings.

[quote=goat]do punk album covers[/quote]
and skateboards.

Your style is so sick. It's awesome that drawing has been helping you, and best of luck with the rest of the meetings.
13
#13
0 Frags +

hes not talented, hes skilled, and hes skilled because he put in a lot of hard work to become this good at creating art.
talent is innate, skills are acquired, i dont like when people confuse the two.
absolutely incredible stuff in here

hes not talented, hes skilled, and hes skilled because he put in a lot of hard work to become this good at creating art.
talent is innate, skills are acquired, i dont like when people confuse the two.
absolutely incredible stuff in here
14
#14
12 Frags +

Talent and skill aren't mutually exclusive. Thanks for sharing, do you work in any other mediums? Keep it up.

Talent and skill aren't mutually exclusive. Thanks for sharing, do you work in any other mediums? Keep it up.
15
#15
8 Frags +
downpourhes not talented, hes skilled, and hes skilled because he put in a lot of hard work to become this good at creating art.
talent is innate, skills are acquired, i dont like when people confuse the two.
absolutely incredible stuff in here

Can't someone be talented at cultivating a skill?

[quote=downpour]hes not talented, hes skilled, and hes skilled because he put in a lot of hard work to become this good at creating art.
talent is innate, skills are acquired, i dont like when people confuse the two.
absolutely incredible stuff in here[/quote]


Can't someone be talented at cultivating a skill?
16
#16
7 Frags +

No offense, but that's exactly the kind of art I would imagine someone on a shit ton of drugs would make.

No offense, but that's exactly the kind of art I would imagine someone on a shit ton of drugs would make.
17
#17
-17 Frags +

do they not have crayons in rehab?

do they not have crayons in rehab?
18
#18
5 Frags +

If you don't like your NA or AA meeting group you can usually find others. I was even able to find one for myself that was for atheists specifically which might be an option if all the God and Jesus stuff puts you off.

The most important part of recovery in my opinion is learning to love and forgive yourself. It's essential that you want to change for yourself and not really for anyone else. None of us are perfect, but nobody is worthless.

In any case you sound like you're doing well so keep up the positive attitude.

If you don't like your NA or AA meeting group you can usually find others. I was even able to find one for myself that was for atheists specifically which might be an option if all the God and Jesus stuff puts you off.

The most important part of recovery in my opinion is learning to love and forgive yourself. It's essential that you want to change for yourself and not really for anyone else. None of us are perfect, but nobody is worthless.

In any case you sound like you're doing well so keep up the positive attitude.
19
#19
1 Frags +

The line weight is almost perfect in most of those.
I'm not saying perfect because i feel you could do EVEN better if you took the time, you have a style that please everyone eye, don't give up on your drawing.

The line weight is almost perfect in most of those.
I'm not saying perfect because i feel you could do EVEN better if you took the time, you have a style that please everyone eye, don't give up on your drawing.
20
#20
1 Frags +

Hey, since I saw your posts in the art thread I couldn't stop thinking about them, specially the colored ones, and how they would look great in a game! Glad to hear you are feeling better now and that your art played a major role in that. By the way, if you have some free time and you are up to do some game jams/prototypes, message me!

Hey, since I saw your posts in the art thread I couldn't stop thinking about them, specially the colored ones, and how they would look great in a game! Glad to hear you are feeling better now and that your art played a major role in that. By the way, if you have some free time and you are up to do some game jams/prototypes, message me!
21
#21
1 Frags +
pudding_cupIf you don't like your NA or AA meeting group you can usually find others. I was even able to find one for myself that was for atheists specifically which might be an option if all the God and Jesus stuff puts you off.

The most important part of recovery in my opinion is learning to love and forgive yourself. It's essential that you want to change for yourself and not really for anyone else. None of us are perfect, but nobody is worthless.

In any case you sound like you're doing well so keep up the positive attitude.

thanks dude, the whole "you need faith for this program to work" thing, I realized it doesn't have to be a "god" of any specific religion. It doesn't even need to be a god, period. My faith comes from the figures I look up too, folks who (after doing a bit of research) overcame the same things I'm going through.

I was surprised to find out Tom Waits was in AA, and he had the support of his wife to make a huge change for the longevity of his life and career. Its more expansive then how I summed it up, but his decisions, along with others really make a difference with how I behave and treat myself.

[quote=pudding_cup]If you don't like your NA or AA meeting group you can usually find others. I was even able to find one for myself that was for atheists specifically which might be an option if all the God and Jesus stuff puts you off.

The most important part of recovery in my opinion is learning to love and forgive yourself. It's essential that you want to change for yourself and not really for anyone else. None of us are perfect, but nobody is worthless.

In any case you sound like you're doing well so keep up the positive attitude.[/quote]

thanks dude, the whole "you need faith for this program to work" thing, I realized it doesn't have to be a "god" of any specific religion. It doesn't even need to be a god, period. My faith comes from the figures I look up too, folks who (after doing a bit of research) overcame the same things I'm going through.

I was surprised to find out Tom Waits was in AA, and he had the support of his wife to make a huge change for the longevity of his life and career. Its more expansive then how I summed it up, but his decisions, along with others really make a difference with how I behave and treat myself.
22
#22
1 Frags +

those pictures are fucking awesome

those pictures are fucking awesome
23
#23
0 Frags +

Nice work man, I'm seriously impressed by every one of those pics. Glad to see you have something occupying your mind, instead of that shit that you used (or used you).

Any chance I could see your stuff on a t-shirt?

Nice work man, I'm seriously impressed by every one of those pics. Glad to see you have something occupying your mind, instead of that shit that you used (or used you).

Any chance I could see your stuff on a t-shirt?
24
#24
-1 Frags +

did someone disliked ALL of the comments?

did someone disliked ALL of the comments?
25
#25
0 Frags +

Jesus christ these are fantastic...
Hope you keep drawing, because you are really good <3
Hope rehab and stuff goes well

Jesus christ these are fantastic...
Hope you keep drawing, because you are really good <3
Hope rehab and stuff goes well
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