ESEA S30 POWER RANKINGS
WEEK 0 - MY DAD
#1: DOUBLEPLUSGOOD (Prograde, powerpoints)
Now, I know what you're all thinking, “Man Prograde sucks!” But everyone is blind to the true potential of this team and the all fabled POWERPOINTS. While this team is in close contention, no other teams come close to how effective Prograde’s snakewater powerpoint is, and by the end of the season, it will continue to be undefeated.
#2: THEORY OF KNOWLEDGE (Stock, a real man)
Crate is the best medic in IM.
#3:TEAM NOW (Earthworker, baiting)
Everyone else is calling them good so I guess I will as well.
#4: OJAMA COUNTRY (Wish, custom files)
Best dm, walk forward and big boy shoot. Perfection’s new computer runs his custom files to quite literal perfection. And Wish literally works for roblox, which is clearly a better game than tf2.
#5: PORTLAND BLACKSIDERS (Syntax, communism)
This team are the up and comers of IM, and there is no one to hold them back. Screwb will activate and will facilitate everything in his power to bring down the TYRANNICAL reign of sandbag teams in IM. With the combined power of stealing an eXtine (yaoooooooo) team name, and the works of Karl Marx, there is no telling the potential of this exuberant, and well-developed team.
#6: REDEMPTION ARC (Scratchh, downfrag)
Scratchh will amass all the negative energy from the amount of downfrags he has, and will DESTROY all these fake teams in IM. Yoona will empower the team with his helpful, and friendly criticism and the team will thereby transform into something transcendental, and quite frankly, never before seen.
#7: SPACE BUGS (goldfish, weed)
The amount of pure destruction that comes from this team will wipe IM into another DIMENSION. This team will see incredibly play on all classes,t hough, they may be held back by a high goldfish, who can’t find the power button to his pc, and who will probably launch OSU instead of esea client on match day.
#8: KNUTTY KNIGHTS (spacecadet, going behind)
The combined age of this team will crush the spirits of the teams under. The CULMINATION of 154 years of fragging experience makes this team nearly impossible to keep out of playoffs. If only they could cut their medic for someone who could legally vote, they would be UNSTOPPABLE.
#9: DUG1 (Walking, forward)
Chill, good dm.
#10: Faint Gaming (Exile, rip invite dream)
A team that needs no words to describe, but the CRUSHED dreams brings this team down a solid 6 places, due to the UNFORGIVING 6s format.
#11:RHDP (Gamers, who click)
Also chill, also good dm.
#12: DUNK MASTERS (Shiny, pretzels at Buffalo Wild Wings)
The amount of KNOWLEDGE contained within this team is unbelievable, but the UNBEARABLE weight from the tf2 textbook, Makkabeus, weighs them out of playoffs.
#13: Goblin Zone (Hedge, inhuman noises)
This team has no real comms, and they have too many DESPICABLE highlander mains. EW
#14: PANCAKE-WAFFLE RIFLE (Tomato Tom)
Tomato Tom is the 2nd best medic in IM, and Xenocide is the next tf2 bred NEET.
#15: CLASSIC JELQUP (Ipaka, Highlander)
If this team had as many hours in demos as they had in dm servers they would be gods.
#16: ANOTHER DAY AT THE OFFICE (Who even is drums?)
That drums guy is honestly the worst player I’ve ever seen. BAD.
#17:Excellent Adventure (Chunkey, leaving)
Pablo is not the best medic in IM, I HATE dog treats, AND they have mustardoverlord?