thank god, i was worried not enough people were reading my very clearly well-evidenced and painstakingly researched posts

sorry guys, i just like talking about open :( if there's anything i've learned from watching too much sports tv it's that controversial opinions held strongly are the best way to get people to talk

honestly though it was probably blink or killemdeader, there wasn't a medic this season like screwball who made his team markedly better imo unless i'm forgetting somebody

jokes on you, i never had any

i'm removing broking from the rankings, he didn't even do 350 dpm on the season, weak player.

definitive regular season awards list:

pocket: tictack (runner up: broking) (l8r broking u suk)

roamer: hivemind (runner up: sincostan if he had played a full season, probably like some other roamer like phaser or something) (not the weak link anymore i guess)

scout: cheesymacgyver (runner up: sherman) (there were actually like a ton of amazing scouts this season, a good dark horse is No One From Nowhere from Lockdown, dude went big all season)

demo: block (runner up: cyzer) (again, lots of good demos here, X and Xan were very good as well)

utility: powah (runner up: nobody) (is this even close)

medic: downpour (runner up: monkey suit, i don't care if he wasn't in open)

most improved team: meat market i guess if you ignore the fact that they weren't really a 'team' last season but w/e

fuck u if u disagree with me

but feel free to discuss

#eseaopen

this is what i refer to as "beer pong table"

dude is chill as fuck and is pretty good at the scout class

I got a 6 foot folding table with a plastic surface from Lowe's for 25 bucks and it holds my tower, both monitors, a large keyboard/mousepad, and all of the dishes that i'm too lazy to take back to the kitchen without feeling cramped. If you don't care about how it looks, that's definitely the way to go.

Having a strong main caller in the combo does wonders. Slin is good at making regular and confident calls and I was.... not.

That said, I think more of a playstyle win than an upset IMO. Both UP and Flash are pretty methodical teams, so the snakewater match essentially just became a midfight competition. Once UP won mid, it was just a matter of edging Flash Sharks out of second and pushing last over and over. I think there was only round in which Flash was pushing UP's last.

It was a pretty fun match to watch, despite the score. Not exactly high-paced TF2, but still interesting for an open 5-0. Both teams have a chance to challenge the top 3 teams once playoffs start IMO.

it's pretty clear that i suck at this

should be a great match. I'll definitely be watching it. I'd be down to do an impromptu cast as well if there's someone who can stream it at decent quality.

Well, in the half hour since I posted the last writeup, I've found out about another roster change in that match. Apparently Chameleon is out for The Smouldering Remains. Does this open the door for The Heart Breakers to take the match? We can only wait and see. I'm not editing that shit.

Ingenuity vs. Oh Boy Open Again
10:30 PM EST, Thursday December 5

Well, we did it guys. We broke downpour. Not only is he going to the wrong last in scrims, he’s doing it on his main class. Now, I genuinely like the people on Oh Boy Open Again, and you should too, even if they on-class in their last two matches. Sure, they underestimated the skill level of the open bubble a little bit, and didn’t really put enough time into the game during the regular season to be successful, but is that a crime? They’re scrambling now to make playoffs and have to play their main classes to do it. You’d probably do the same in their shoes. Cut them some slack! Open playoffs are prestigious.

Ingenuity surprised me with their win over Chillin in North Korea. They seem to have decided to stick with sauce6 on demoman, which I believe helped their chemistry. Making roster changes this late is always a dicey proposition. After the match, I told a member of their team that they were safely in playoffs, but that may have been a bit premature (sorry, flippers!). As it stands, there are 7 teams currently below Ingenuity in the standings who would pass them assuming they get to 10 wins (that’s some sick pronoun confusion but you can deal with it). This match is incredibly important for Paul and the boys, and a 5-0 loss almost certainly puts them out of playoffs.

If they’re on-classing, Oh Boy Open Again outstrips Ingenuity in most categories. The DM is closer than you might think, but I don’t know if it will matter when up against the superior coordination of the r5 crew. I’m going to have to give the match to Oh Boy Open Again over Ingenuity, 5-1.

See the light, downpour! Nobody on your team wants to mainclass! You’re killing the dream! What’s more important, open playoffs or your pride?!?!!

And of course I was hopelessly wrong on the last one. Being completely wrong every single time has to be some sort of gift, right? Congrats on the win, Ingenuity.

The Smouldering Remains vs. The Heart Breakers
10:30 PM EST, Thursday December 5

Before I do this write-up, I’d like to express my deepest condolences to the friends and family of Tobi. I knew him only through the occasional in-house pug but he was one of the nicest guys I’ve interacted with. Rest in Peace, man.

The Heart Breakers have a tough task in an elimination match (for them) against The Smouldering Remains. Jaguar has put together a formidable group of DMers. Air is a new addition on pocket, and through my time playing with him, I know very well that he is a goddamn damage machine. Chameleon has IM experience in Counterstrike, which really comes through when he offclasses to sniper (which is often). Frkn is another strong player on roamer with good jumps and crisp directs. Remains does tend to bleed players on occasion with an overcommitment to holding points that most teams would give up, but that mentality can lead to some really impressive hero plays as well.

On the other side of this matchup is The Heart Breakers. Yet another open team that’s had a few roster changes throughout the season, the current lineup looks to be a pretty strong one. Forgets is a good player who has been around for a while, and his demo play should be up to par with Jaguar’s. With the recent roster changes that have been made, desca has made the move from roamer to pocket. While his DM is good enough to make that switch, we’ll see if he has the self-control to keep him from leaving his medic too much. Cheeriss and Maik are both capable enough on scout to keep their team in the game. Unlike Remains, there is nobody on this team who I can watch and think “this person can’t miss”.

While team cohesion is certainly important, great DM is also crucial. Though I’m sure The Heart Breakers have been galvanized by the loss of their star scout, I just don’t see how they overcome the superior killing ability of The Smouldering Remains. I’m predicting The Smouldering Remains over The Heart Breakers, 5-2

Now that I’ve made this prediction, we can probably tune in Thursday to see a quick 5-0 by Heart Breakers, because that’s how bad I am at predictions.

I've been out for a week and it feels so good

I still care way too much about the game overall tho