I hate that I broke my hands playing this game and melee and have almost nothing to show for it. I'm 19 and I'm probably going to be in constant pain for the rest of my life
it's been 9 months. I've been to the doctors, I've been to physical therapists, and it still feels like I'm barely gaining any sort of ground. A couple days ago was the first time I launched this game that I love so much in those nine months. having absolutely no way to release my Stress and Anxiety turned me into a complete neurotic wreck, someone who gets so tense that they have convulsions whenever they get a panic attack.
I hate who I've become. I lash out at friends, I get irritated by the tiniest things, I'm a completely different person. and the worst part is I can feel parts of the old me come out every now and then, Parts I enjoy, but whatever I have fun there's always that lingering doubt and worry in the background about how it will affect my hands, if I wake up hurting and defeated the next day...
I had to withdraw from University because of it. I just paid off the tuition that resulted from that withdrawal a couple days ago, the day before the semester started. And I'm not ready to go back to working with them this semester. I don't know what to do
let's not even mention my family, my dad thinks my doctors are lying to me
I'm honestly surprised I'm not suicidal at this point. I feel like most people probably would have just given up by now. I just want to enjoy things in life again without constantly worrying about how it'll affect my hands