RahmedHonestly, at this point, I feel like more people hate me now than they did when I made the server
And this is not just from recent drama, this is ongoing
If people disliked you from the start then the server wouldn't have taken off as it has.
RahmedI feel like people have more beef with me for trying to make an all-inclusive chill place for people to play together
Part of the issue with trying to build an inclusive community is you'll eventually run into people who want to exclude others. Or just don't get along. It's a paradox. No solution is satisfactory. An inclusive community has to exclude people eventually to remain inclusive for those marginalized or to avoid conflict.
You're not enjoying the position you're in. Take a step back. This is a hobby. I wouldn't even stick with a job that would make me feel like this, but you're doing it for free.
Rahmixes don't need you to actively observe them. They'll keep going for a while without you
The feelings you're feeling have pushed away many many admins, devs, pug organizers, production, casters, etc.
Hopefully you find some comfort again and stick around. But for now clearly this isn't working for you and you're just going to burn out (you already have. let's be honest)
People don't dislike you. While I can't speak for everyone, to me you always appeared to be enthusiastic abt the comp scene and eager to help pubbers find out about it. You were keen to help with production etc. Clearly you found something that once gave you a lot of joy. Reminded me of Archrythm who started similarly only a couple years before you.
Right now it's not that anymore. So take a step back and take time to figure yourself out again