hopefully this sentiment will be shared by many but i just need to get these words out of my body.
the pandemic has exposed so much of north america's failure for me. failure in education, and failure in resource allocation, and all this failure just compounds on top of itself. anti-maskers, anti-vaxxers, conspiracy theorists arouse from a failure of people in education who give any shits (which is also a resource allocation thing because its well known that many teachers kinda blow at their job and would surely be more motivated if they were paid more). these people pride themselves in being "skeptical" "playing devil's advocate" and "asking the questions nobody wants to ask" but it actually turns out they are just retards who ask questions that aren't even close to pointing them in the right direction, and when they don't have an answer for their question they go "ha! brainwashed little sheep" and continue on their oblivious, high-horse riding lives.
dont get me started on resource management. we choose to keep using fossil fuels. we choose to withhold live-saving vaccines that are otherwise going unused and ultimately disposed of. we choose to let the rich get richer. we are terrified of change because of strawmen created by people who deliberately leave out details. No nuclear energy - dont u remember chernobyl???... dont raise taxes by 1% thats communism and dont you remember the soviet union???... those countries cant have our vaccines - why? well because they dont have the money to afford them!... we have to abandon earth and go to mars - what do you mean we have a perfectly good planet right where we are??? how am i gonna make even more disgusting amounts of money if i cant monetize a different space rock???
you may have noticed that i originally specified "north america", as in, including Canada. While it may be awesome to live in ignorance, the reality is that Canada is guilty of so much of the same shit the US is. We may have free healthcare, we may have gun control laws, and much more standardized public education, but other than that we are culturally identical to the US. Canada has had a genocide. abortion rights are a hot topic, trans rights are a hot topic. as i mentioned earlier, the legitimacy of the pandemic is a hot topic. our housing situation is fucking fucked because in the 1900s we decided we dont want "slums" because of "bad neighborhoods" (black neighborhoods) so we just have the most inefficient fucking housing of all time (aka single family houses aka suburbs). it makes me so depressed when some ugly shit happens in the US and i hear the people around me say "haha at least we dont live down south haha!"...
im almost 21 years old and just terrified of the life ahead of me. I will witness a catastrophic climate disaster in my lifetime. I will struggle in the housing market. I want to go into a career with notoriously dogshit pay (teaching) that's only reward is the fulfilment of pursuing my passion and it makes me wonder if i even give a shit about my passion at all at this point.
i dont fucking know man. i dont fucking know. hopefully this all made sense and isnt the grape juice schizo arc being documented live for all to see