Actually, none of the above. I clearly stated the purpose of these screenshots, which was to prove that the accuser within the TF2 community was very literally entrapping me by coaxing those messages out of me for a period of two years, and that they used it to take two friends in November prior to the escalation to the perma last month. I'm incredibly mortified to share those DMs because as I've already said, I Know they don't make me look good, but for such an abhorrent accusation, "sexual harassment & threats of harm", I needed to prove a consistent pattern of encouragement for the content in question. I have done so.

If you were capable of nuance, you'd perhaps even see that I'm genuinely only saying those things because I'm trying to keep the redacted party's interest, and that my actual intentions of Chill Friend Shit are clear. I reduced myself to an object because that seemed to be the only thing they wanted me for. And it was, but not for the reasons I thought.

The functional purpose is simple: setting the record straight. I simply do not speak in such ways to people without direct encouragement, but there was hardly a way to prove that behavior was encouraged without sharing evidence of [redacted]'s own behavior.

That's...not what the CO FGC community accused me of. To my knowledge the extent that goes is "arm touching" and points of "making people uncomfortable" in person, with no incidents directly cited to me as an accusation. It's kind of impossible to prove something simply didn't happen as described, especially when who/what/when/why have all been intentionally obfuscated from you so you can't even get an alibi or hope to explain what you were actually doing at the time.

At least criminal complaints have a burden of proof, and Due Process for the defense. Mob justice follows no such rules.

more like she's proving mine. no retort AND no evidence. I've shared mine, where's y'alls? I keep being told it exists in abundance but no one seems willing or able to present it. it's almost like this is a witch hunt and not one of you are capable of proving otherwise. :x

already explained Why like 20 different times, including in OP, please use your eyes

but as for "suicide baiting"
it's more the nature of the accusations that made (past tense) me wanna die about it, not the games themselves. as much as I love both titles, I also genuinely fucking hate them, as any reasonable player should. I love having excuses not to play Tekken or TF2.

but in the case of Tekken, losing basically my entire community in Colorado? in the case of TF2, losing a decade-long competitive career and at least tainting myself in the eyes of a community with AT LEAST SOME PEOPLE I loved & respected?

shit sucks. no one wants a fuckin permanent red flag over their name, especially when they know they don't deserve it. you wouldn't be happy in my position, either.

again, it makes me wish I'd actually done what I was accused of, that way I'd actually have something to grow from. but I didn't, so I don't, and have simply been thrown into the torment nexus for fun and/or kicks.

Probably, yeah. Even if I was unbanned after a private appeal as I hoped back when I still thought RGL administration might actually treat this fairly behind closed doors, I knew things would never ever be the same for me. Even without accusations, I've been a jackass all too willing to argue with too many people at once, make other parties more uncomfortable when I'm made uncomfortable, and I acknowledge that.

But the truth matters. And the truth is the receipts that definitively prove my guilt don't fucking exist, and one of the two worst accusations ever made against me can be conclusively proven as a case of entrapment.

That's at least some comfort for me. Honestly I don't even like most of you. It's not like I was begging to be let back in because of all the new friends I made. I made at most five, and I didn't even manage to trust any of them because [redacted]'s fuck shit made me a paranoid jackass who wouldn't stop taking fights.

There's at least closure this way. And the hope, however slim, that someone who once knew me or once cared may see this, know I'm still the kind, fair person they thought I was, and not assume the worst of me based off a witch hunt.

Fool's errand, yes, but. I'm a fool. No one else was gonna do it.

And not really, but. I felt the need to prove the communications were solicited consistently and repeatedly, which the screenshots do. I already said I'm fucking mortified by it, but at this point, I'm the only party that's actually posted their fucking receipts, so...what was I supposed to do? Make a defense without evidence?

The mortifying contents is also why I elected to censor the accuser's name, though. My reputation is already torched before I made this post, setting the ashes aflame really doesn't make a difference besides seeing what color they burn. But I saw no reason to put them in a similar position, though I do think those who would defend or empathize with me probably wouldn't resort to the same level of harassment I've already experienced.

Hell, some of you monsters would realistically just harass both of us. No point encouraging that. I do still have principles, even as it becomes obvious no one around me does.

Still 29! And again, take accountability for what exactly? I'm still waiting for All That Evidence everyone apparently has. I've posted my fucking receipts, what about you? I'm not stopping you. By all means, please, give me something I cannot reasonably excuse. List names. Share screenshots and redact appropriately. Wouldn't it be so satisfying to say something I Can't argue against? To permanently & completely destroy my defense for my character?

I ain't baiting shit. Again, if you want me dead, do it yourself or don't be a bitch. I'm not giving you losers a free kill. Stain your soul, catch that charge.

may the "tons of girls" please stand up? like actually, I genuinely don't fucking know who besides [redacted] you could even be referencing, and even in that case the "creepy stuff" was directly solicited.

and I've self reflected plenty. unfortunately, being innocent of the accusations made means that there's nothing to learn from being genuinely and completely demonized on a mass scale. like, FFS, actually expose me. please! at least then I could justify the distress I've been put in.

but you won't. because you can't. the evidence doesn't exist, and where it does it's easily refuted by what context has been removed.

but it's easier to participate in a witch hunt than actually recognize a person as human, so. it's not like I expect anything better from you.

It's actually not about that for me. Not about TF2, or Tekken.

It's about two things. "Thwarted sense of belonging", which is recognized as one of the most common & valid reasons for men to determine their life has no meaning, and "reputation, I guess".

I made a consistent effort to be good to people, inside and outside of game, no matter the game, for effectively my entire life. Being painted as a genuine monster despite that effort is existentially crushing in ways I'm not sure anyone is capable of comprehending unless they're actually in my position. Also a bunch of other things is wrong with my life, but having effectively no escape into my most passionate pursuits or the two competitive communities I cared most for is still genuinely devastating.

Honestly, I wish it was something I actually did, so I'd actually feel guilt or shame from which I could grow & reform. When you become an Acceptable Target despite knowing in your heart you only ever behaved in good faith...it's a distinctly hollowing feeling. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. All it proves to me is either God does not exist, or God does exist and is simply cruel. Either way...there's really nothing I can do. About anything, really.

Just to prove in the case of the TF2 accusation, anything I said was literally directly encouraged for two years of a five year friendship, making the accusation a clear-cut case of entrapment. I had many reservations about posting this, but ultimately decided that ANY defense was better than just allowing the official accusation to sit unchallenged. Especially if I do die any time in the near future, I'd like there to be at least a reasonable doubt that I was genuinely the monster administration didn't hesitate painting me as.

I was here for 13 years, after all. I'd hate for an old friend to reappear, be like, "What happened to Contra?", find the ban message, and then be unable to even ask what happened because I'm already dead. I figured I may as well have A contingency for that.

Comparatively, the Tekken shit is purely "he said, she said", and no definitive evidence exists that would prove either my guilt or my innocence. While my friends from the CO FGC largely still have lanes of communication open with me, including keeping me "Friended" on some platforms, even the ones who believe me stopped talking to me a very long time ago. I gave up on any semblance of justice or understanding on that front a long time ago.

Realistically, this is about the response I expected. But short of actually offing myself over a false accusation like I was going to in November & then February...it actually doesn't get much worse than it already is. Some strangers hating my guts doesn't really make a difference.

Back when I was definitely going to die about it, I told a friend that part of the reason why was purely spite. Just so that the people who saw fit to destroy my life over literally nothing may experience an iota of guilt. They told me I shouldn't reduce my life to that. But then, the same friend barely talks to me anymore, so.

Maybe someday someone will look back on this and seriously ask themselves if I deserved it? Maybe I'll die and only the people who actually knew me will care? I don't fuckin know. It's pretty depressing, but, it's already been a Die About It situation for me since October. Just kinda used to it now.

For those who have the decency to read and not encourage me to kill myself, even if you wouldn't dare touch this situation otherwise, thanks. Your restraint is noted and appreciated. And since I know at least a few sick fucks would get off to me killing myself, most likely including my accusers, I think I'll just...not. None of you deserve that sacrifice. Kill me yourself or don't be a bitch.

This might shock you, but an anonymous accusation does not actually equal evidence, and people actually are capable of behaving dishonestly for malicious reasons. Additionally, the most I was accused of was, again, "arm touching", not even groping.

Thanks, though. It's always good to know that a stranger wants me to kill myself based on what they've Heard.

The ban reasoning given was due to this same entrapment, entrapment that was and is demonstrably part of a pattern. Does sharing these screenshots make me look Good? Absolutely not. I like to keep private private and even if you take my testimony at face value, it still reeks of a lonely person reducing themselves to a thrill dispenser simply for the purpose of being less lonely.

But it does not show “repeated sexual harassment”. I was told no once, at the instant I was blocked and all prior flirtation retroactively denied, and the only subsequent attempts I made at contact were to apologize. At every prior junction, I was consistently and repeatedly encouraged to say more and worse, even as I asked explicitly if lines were being crossed and indicated my own discomfort with that descent. While there were indeed “threats”, these were not serious threats and were, again, directly encouraged, as proven in the attached screenshots.

https://i.imgur.com/LnUkOmL.png

So, no “Threat”, and no “Harassment”, not by any reasonable definition. I still regret the thinking behind my words, though— considering my genuine intentions of just having Friend Time again, I really should have just fucked off and not kept thrill dispensing while not getting what I actually wanted.

That said, I don’t anticipate many people will take my side. I’ve been a bit of a jackass, after all. But I’m already permanently banned from participating in one of my most passionate pursuits with a permanent black mark on my name, so. Any further consequences have become irrelevant. Now, all I can do is provide my side of the story, and hope that some people still see me as human afterwards.

If objections to my claim of innocence remain, I implore the admins or parties affected to post the damn receipts with context, or hold your peace, even as you’ve robbed me of my own. Why start AND stop at the ban message, exactly? Why jump to that before even asking for an explanation for what you’ve seen? Is some semblance of proof too much to ask before branding a person as inhuman? Where’s the justice in that? Fuck an appeal, where’s due diligence?

I built my connections and friendships within this community for the past 13 years as a sporting and wholesome person. THAT is who I’ve always been, and who I’ll always be, with any deviations rooted in that truth. I said everything I did to [redacted] because I thought doing what I was told to would help me keep my friends. Instead, I’ve received countless pushes from the highest ledge those “friends” could find. This truly breaks my heart.

https://i.imgur.com/JCspepl.png

But I’m an honest person to and past the bitter end. Anything else is a waste of time, and always has been. So, for the record: sorry for being an edgy jackass. I’m not a fuckin’ monster, though, and I’d literally rather die than let that be the final words on the matter. These, though? These will do.

For those who actually read this far, thank you. For every player who has played for one of my teams, or allowed me to play for one of yours, thank you. I truly and genuinely apologize to anyone who has ever defended me from public harassment and/or been caught in the crossfire of this.

https://i.imgur.com/u3ug44I.png

To my old friend, I am truly sorry to have shared these screenshots at all. While you clearly do not have the same reservations about violations of privacy and most likely never did, I still find any violation of my own principles to be detestable. For this reason, I have protected your privacy, even while my own reputation has been torched and I’ve had no reason whatsoever not to return the favor.

https://i.imgur.com/OMu1zfq.png

And honestly, I am sorry for things I’ve said, even though you directly encouraged me to say them. Because somehow, I betrayed both of us by following your instructions instead of simply respecting my actual desires and waiting for you to behave like an actual friend. “The Road to Hell...”, right?

POST-THREAD EDIT:
Well, that was fun.

In hindsight, I underestimated the sheer number of people determined to hate me before I even started talking, lol.

Given time to reflect, though. I'm not sorry for shit, inside or outside the TF2 community. The overwhelming majority of you are racist-ass losers ("1488" on a throwaway acct? Really MF?) genuinely bitch-made haters, or both. But especially the person who had the audacity to share DMs they instructed me repeatedly to send in order to play the victim and get me banned. I sure did say that shit, yes— BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME TO FOR NO LESS THAN TWO YEARS.

Regarding rumors following me from outside TF2, no, I didn't touch anybody's arm at a Tekken event.

But I did voluntarily play a villain role assigned to me. Not in person besides gatekeeping Top 5, but I maintained a respectfully-ominous vibe that was perfect until some salty bitch needed to lie to be rid of me. If I could change one thing, I'd never have played the villain for anyone at all. If I could change two, I'd have played it harder, and laughed instead of cried. The goal was "tasteful evil", but I kinda lost track of it when I wanted to die more than move on from a community I truly, wholesomely loved.

Comp TF2, though?
lol. Maybe in a different life. All my old friends are dead, or moved on to something better. This new era really doesn't have anyone worth dying for, now that I think about it. For good fellas trying their best, though— stay safe out here, and pick your friends Carefully.

Hello. I’ve been a part of the competitive Team Fortress 2 community for 13 years, starting shortly after I first installed the game back in 2012. I’ve met many people here in the time since, but I was also retired from 2020-2024, only participating via occasional ringing for old friends and not unretiring until December of 2024.

In the time since unretirement, I’ve gained something of a reputation among newbies and remaining oldheads as a needlessly edgy and confrontational user in a few public spaces. This is not why I was banned officially, but I am truly remorseful for that behavior, since it made making and keeping new friends quite difficult, and marked character regression on my end from lessons learned from my time with the CO FGC and even my typically more calm pre-retirement self.

I already learned better than to take public 1 v 10s, and I was doing it anyway. I am responsible for that behavior and though the regression was triggered by consecutive traumatic losses and (often) several people at a time were instigating it, I am still truly sorry. But that’s still not why I was banned— officially, anyway. I’m sure that played a part.

I was permanently banned from RGL three weeks ago at time of writing, on August 25th, 2025. This ban was dispensed without warning or even the barest level of inspection of the claims made. I was given no chance to defend or even explain myself, and admins declined to even share the evidence or name the people used to ban me. However, the given reasons were not due to my public behavior.

https://i.imgur.com/4jcWIkX.png

Instead, the official ban reasoning stated on my RGL page was repeated “sexual harassment & threats of harm”, which are some very serious, damaging accusations to make about a person. No mention or evidence of the accusations were shown to me before or after I was banned, and I subsequently waited three weeks after sending an email to appeals before that appeal was summarily rejected, not even providing an opening through which I could share my own evidence in defense until after the appeal was rejected. There was no semblance of Due Process whatsoever. Not even “Guilty Until Proven Innocent”— just “Guilty”, no questions asked.

In place of that farce, I am putting my defense here, so it is a matter of public record. I realize I likely will never be unbanned— but this isn't the purpose of that. Rather, it's a defense of my character, for those who want to know. I have censored the name of the accuser in screenshots and mention them only as [redacted], as well.

But even if my defense weren't futile, I’d still be mortified sharing this information at all. I never wanted it to come to this. But I’ve been left with no choice in the matter, lest the final word attached to my time in the TF2 community be boiled down to slanderous accusations. So, here is my story, and the evidence therein.

Shortly prior to my retirement in 2020, I befriended one [redacted] through two mutual friends. For about three years, that relationship was standard, and continued even as I began to detach from TF2 in favor of local community. Effectively the only ways I was playing the game while retired was periodic ringing or pubbing with that friend group. I was pretty much done with Comp TF2, content with my time spent and tired of captaining teams.

https://i.imgur.com/p6QV1OV.png

https://i.imgur.com/scp8Y1R.png

https://i.imgur.com/y6l5L6U.png

The pacing of our exchanges were often more pen-pal-y than instant feedback, but I had been repeatedly assured that my messages were read even if not replied to, and that this pattern of conversation was acceptable. But the last two years of that friendship marked a considerable change. Namely, it had boiled down to the encouragement of repeated messages, especially facetious threats of harm with subtle or overt sexual overtones. Being lucid of this, I of course asked at various junctions if that was truly acceptable, and met with encouragement at every turn.

https://i.imgur.com/F9rxXS7.png

(optional threat was spoiler text)

https://i.imgur.com/ODk16Mt.png

https://i.imgur.com/wx9yYJ5.png

(optional threat reply included within typical reply batch)

But as stated even with facetious threats, lowered boundaries to say whatever was not what I truly wanted. What I wanted was quality time with my friend, for wholesome gaming purposes, as was repeatedly made clear. But all they had shown enthusiasm for by then was the unhinged flirting. At every turn I expressed concern, I was only met with encouragement to proceed.

https://i.imgur.com/ikWPEdI.png

https://i.imgur.com/o97CTOk.png

https://i.imgur.com/iXB1SOU.png

https://i.imgur.com/I0CMXEH.png

https://i.imgur.com/1mclmyB.png

https://i.imgur.com/7KnN2B6.png

https://i.imgur.com/VZyGLWu.png

Until the very end. In October 2024, I was axed from the CO FGC due to accusations of arm touching. To this day, I’ve never been told who said that or when it supposedly happened, and I maintain that it did not. But it meant I had lost the entire community I had effectively dedicated my life to in one fell swoop, and I was left without recourse to prove my innocence or even attempt to explain myself, utterly blindsided. At least This Time I know who the culprit is, since only one person fits the bill of “threats of harm”.

Contrary to my behavior online, I was also very contained and reserved at in-person tournaments, so this turn of events essentially proved to me that all the effort I had made to be Good simply hadn’t mattered at all— not to mention my own childhood experiences with domestic violence, making such accusations truly abhorrent to me. Traumatic Loss #1: Four Years’ Worth of Offline Friends, and Faith In Humanity.

https://i.imgur.com/ZSwvq6N.png

https://i.imgur.com/bLkpiRI.png

https://i.imgur.com/8XtmeHE.png

https://i.imgur.com/M2KU4Hu.png

https://i.imgur.com/3YPybJp.png

So, I spiraled. Hard. Suicidally hard, in November of 2024. I reached out to [redacted] and our other friends hoping to reconnect, and heard nothing. Against my better judgement, I resorted to The Usual with [redacted], embracing the worst narrative of me and proceeding to hyper-fixate on them with what seemed to be the desired form of attention. But ultimately I surmised that the dynamic seemed to be At My Expense, so. I put my foot down in an effort to get clarity from the friends involved, only for [redacted] and those friends to block me in unison— the only TF2 friends I’d kept consistent contact with since 2020. Traumatic Loss #2: Closest Online Friends From Purgat- Quarantine. Sorry, easy to mix those words up.

https://i.imgur.com/jdn1FYu.png

In [redacted]’s final message to me, they denied ever having flirted with me or encouraged that behavior, and I was left with nothing. But I was also told [redacted] still respected my desire to be a good person, and was implored to move on. That nugget of good will is ultimately what kept me alive, and truthfully the only reason their name is still [redacted] here. I don’t think it’s fair to share any secrets besides my own.

About a month later I unretired, having lost nearly everything of value to me online and offline except my family and very oldest friends, but hoping to find solace in the community I once called home. But clearly, that good will is gone, at least on [redacted]’s end, if it ever existed.

[continued below]

so any fps games I can play that are good but also not funding the interests of the chinese government?