I have alts I use to get more items after the item drop limit caps for my main account each week. Valve broke idling so I've had to invest real playtime into my idle accounts. I think the best part about it though is noone bothering me on steam.

The nicest person ever.

A while ago I dreamed that I was a scout pushing out of gullywash last, and a scout got on our last, I ran back to contest the backcap, killed him, walked to shutter door to see my hud tell me to go back, get the scout, push out, double back, etc.

This looped for 3 hours. I contested a single capture point in TF2 for 3 hours in my sleep.

Another wierd TF2 dream was I dreamed I rang for someones team as a pocket, and the dream lasted about an hour and a half, back and forth long rounds all over the map, while I felt really sick, we lost 3-4.

I'll never understand the wierdest dreams I've have had outside of TF2.

Example: I shot lasers out of my right eye at a small voodoo doll until we were both in space, then there was a bunch of green light and we became a spaceship.

I donated to tri hards for a weapon signing and a demo review, I got it, and a few more than that. :)

ILU blaze.

Its a lot harder than everyone thinks, I understand how it feels to not have a dad, I know its really difficult when everyone is telling you how much their dad means to them, how much their dad loves them, all the subtle things noone even thinks about that remind you of what you don't have. I hope you feel better about it.

Sorry if I am necroing this thread, but I doubt anyone wants to see a new thread pop up on this topic, and sharing my experiences in this thread originally made me feel a whole lot better.

I was watching a TV show today and it has a part where they display a small family that loves each other, and it was so painful to me to see what I missed out on and wanted all my life, I began crying and had to stop watching it.

I was jogging a few days beforehand, pushing myself as hard as I could, when the exhaustion hit my throat, I realized the last time it felt like that, the last time I ran like that, my mom was tearing me down verbally. Pushing me to be "less fat lazy and disgusting" my legs gave out and I silenced my vocal chords, to prevent myself from crying out "mom why do you hate me" in a strong flashback as I choked back a few tears, picked myself up and kept running.

All the important lessons in life like self respect, respect of others, hard work, are taken much for granted when most people learn them from their parents.

How to be a social person that also cared for others was something I only learned from being beaten down and humiliated in many relationships with various people in life, I never had a good example from a father or loving mother. I'm nearly never at ease when I'm talking to someone, I grew up with conversations that would randomly turn into hell for no real reason, and avoided talking to people because I learned from my mother that anything, absolutely anything could become an instant berating belittling hell of being alone in this world where the things which guard and have power over you despise you because you are evil, mean cruel and selfish, because you are vile and disgusting and so selfish that noone likes you.

For a long time I had so much fear and loathing bottled up inside of me that I spent most of my energy keeping myself from lashing out at unrelated people and things, taking deep breaths and making up random things to talk about with a clear plan on exactly when and how I would leave the conversation.

My brothers idea of making me more responsible was to make it seem like everything was my fault, from moms boyfriends leaving because he said they thought I was really wierd to mom being the way she was because I was so stressful and stupid. Maybe that was just his mask for blaming me.

It created a dark world for me where 80% of my life so far has been spent being informed by the 2 people I spent every day with, my only family, that I was fat, lazy disgusting, selfish, hopelessly stupid, and the cause of everyones problems. I became the kid at school who was sullen, alone bitter and never spoke, and if he did was very very strange. This did not go over well with the other kids, but unlike most people who complain about their childhoods, school to me was a reprieve, glorious and beautiful. Noone went as far out of their way to come down on me as hard at school as they did at home, everyone loved the weekends, but I hated them I feared them, I could never stand to go home and face my family. Monday was my favorite day because that was the day I was free from her.

Most people say they have family issues, but they don't see how much love and support they and their families truly give each other because they are so so so used to having loving families.

This world is an extremely cold dark scary place where every step has to be won, and every bite fought for without people who really really are there for you.

I tried to end my life many many times during middle and high school but I never could because I knew that I only had to deal with them for a finite amount of years, and was mostly afraid that I would mess it up and wind up permanantly crippled, yet the thought of making them understand how much they hurt me was the thought that got me through each day. Thinking, while I was at school, home alone sitting in my room, or being berated by my mother, the thought that made me happiest was imagining them discovering me dead, imagining that they would finally understand how much they hurt me. Breaking them for the rest of their lives that they would never be the same.[/i]

That thought was the light that carried me through life.

When I became homeless when I was 18 or 19, or near homeless in an odd town in an odd room in an odd house I was renting and doing some chores to earn my stay in, I was broken down, crying at the difficulty of getting a first job with no experience, atrocious social skills that could barely finish a single conversation without someone thinking there was something odd about me, being creeped out. I had thought long and hard, I promised myself that if I died, that it would not be by my own design. That I would stay as strong as I could in life from there on and push myself constantly to make my life better each day. I ended up reaching my goal of moving so far away I couldn't be contacted or followed and started life anew and took care of myself, but financial restraints and medical issues caused me to fall back to the place I once left with such joy.

Sometimes I randomly have panic attacks and I don't know what its associated with or what it comes from. I try to investigate the memories, but honestly I've had so many bad experiences I can't pinpoint it. Maybe my brain is just used to the fear and darkness and the chemicals involved, I've read somewhere that the more you experience an emotion the easier it is for your brain to experience/recreate the emotion/chemicals again. I just have to try to power through it and go on with what I was doing, but it takes my breath everytime it happens and transports me into a world where everything seems like a dark swirl of emotion.

please

Lets all email the ceos or admins until we get brad back.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-IHOOdIRyBys/UXf_RnFPUzI/AAAAAAAAE2U/h2y_BFsI-QU/s1600/kitten.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/ccM3uaD.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/FG0a1py.jpg?1

http://www.thealmightyguru.com/Halloween/Monsters/Images/BlackCat3.jpg

http://gyazo.com/897e18569074efd9cfd4924a5983f4b5.png

I don't know what I was expecting.

Gondolier pizza :3

You just assume that because I don't agree with you, I must be young, inexperienced and without a job? You must be the shittiest manager in North America to have such incredibly lacking people skills, (which is something I learned at my last job, where I dealt with customers on a daily basis)

You didn't even answer what I pointed out, which is that you try to argue that it won't be any more difficult for people to get along with each other while using this system, then later imply that it will be much harder.

I think everyone understood you the first time, the reality that we shouldn't be afraid is so clear that noone really would be.

I think to any competitive player, the spirit and idea of competitive is to get better, improve, win and to learn how to beat the other players competing. To see a format which attempts all the same things and falls much shorter in all of those regards is why I personally, (and perhaps others agree,) would bash HL.

I've known a lot of people who play HL and a lot who play 6s, and having discussions with them before and after a season or equal time period, it is almost always extremely clear that the highlander players just aren't getting better at anywhere near the same rate. You might say that the time spent scrimming is the reason (which is one major contributor in my mind,) however my UGC 6s friends who scrim as infrequently as UGC HL teams improve much faster than their HL counterparts.

To me it's like being on a train with half my friends, parallel to a train going at one third the speed, containing the rest of my friends, if I want to keep the ability to play with/talk to/chill with the other half, I would need to convince them to join the train I'm on, or lose them in the past.

They do take that sort of thing VERY seriously, I know because my mom worked with child services for a lot of her life, she was inspired to do this because my father left before I could remember.

If you have such concerns it would be much better to tell them, having bad childhood experiences like that can really fuck you up for the rest of your life.