ESEA Open Power Rankings S31: Vol. 4 of 7, 6/3/19
Updates every Monday probably.

Now just past the midpoint of the season, I expected a larger shake-up in the rankings. Aside from one or two matches, most went about as expected. Still, there's plenty of room for chaos among the the #10-#20 teams fighting to hit the magic 11 win number and secure their playoff spot.
__________

#1 The Medic Academy (10-0)

Now the last undefeated team, The Medic Academy are on track to finish the regular season 16-0. Having already defeated The Perfect Sip, Late to Mid, and Goys R Us, there aren't many true threats remaining unless Cheep Cheep can pull off an upset this week.

#2 The Perfect Sip (9-1) [+1]

When they have all 6 starters playing, they seem to be the clear #2 team. They looked beatable against Soulja Boy eSports when they had to use a sub, but aside from that, they've performed as well as expected.

#3 Late To Mid (8-2) [+1]

The top three appears to have sorted itself out for the most part. Late To Mid put up a good fight against The Medic Academy and The Perfect Sip, but ended up losing to both. Nonetheless, they rebounded with a good win over Cheep Cheep, which makes it easy to place them among the top 5.

#4 Goys R Us (9-1) [+2]

In between all their trash talk in the middle of my match against them, one of them asked if I was going to move them up to #2. So far, no, but maybe soon if they can beat The Perfect Sip this week.

#5 Smol Approachable Brests (8-2)

I ranked them top 3 in my initial rankings, but a disappointing week 3 made me wonder why they weren't performing as well as expected. Since then, they appear to have gotten on the right track. Their scrim results seem to be going well and they've won all of their matches since then.

#6 Cheep Cheep (8-2) [-4]

I don't think they're taking the season too seriously since they show up to their matches with different rosters almost every time so estimating where they stand is kind of a crapshoot. At their best, they could be a few places higher, but on the otherhand, some of their lineups could be a place or two lower. They lost 1-4 to Rats on Acid, but to be fair, a lot of teams get upset on Product since it's a unique map. The rest of their week wasn't much better; they lost their next match to Late to Mid, although that result was less surprising. Regardless, no matter who they show up with, I think they're top 8 at worst.

#7 Soulja Boy eSports (6-3) [+3]

Their record sits at a modest 6-3, but behind the scenes, their scrim results show that they can beat almost any of the top teams on the right day. Their upcoming schedule is fairly light, so expect them to rise to 9-3 over the next week.

#8 Rats on Acid (9-1)

The rats started this weeks trip with a great upset over Cheep Cheep, winning on Product 4-1 with some help from Dom subbing in off the bench. Their next match against OK Kids was much less dominant, but nonetheless a victory with a final score of 3-2 in favor of the Rats. Perhaps sending Virgil back to medic and putting ZoomxZe on scout has been a worthwhile switch?

#9 Yarn Legacy (9-1) [+3]

Very quietly, Yarn Legacy has crept up the standings and is now on a 9 game win streak following a hard fought win
over Angry Dog Noises. If they want to extend that streak to 10, they'll need to play above and beyond their best
in their next match against Late to Mid.

#10 Good Damage 3 (8-2) [+1]

I was unsure about Good Damage v3 initially, but at this point, their season is already going much better than the last.
Now that they've decided to start scrimming more regularly, there's a good chance they'll rise even higher - assuming of course that they get the right pickups on soldier and medic.

#11 OK Kids (6-4) [-4]

The Kids are going through a rocky couple of weeks with 4 losses in a row. It's nothing to feel bad about though considering they only lost to good teams. Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be much respite in the future as they have some fairly challenging matchups against Good Damage 3 and Crayon Eaters eSports coming up.

#12 Angry Dog Noises (6-4) [-3]

Their story is very much similar to OK Kids - a good start followed by a streak of hard fought losses against good teams. Not much else worth repeating.

#13 Hwasas Thighs (6-4)

Yep.

#14 Nav eSports (7-3) [Prev: HR]

The Nav guys haven't picked up a big win since their first match against Team Frantic, but they've overall performed steadily well enough and took rounds off good teams, so I feel they deserve a spot in the rankings.

#15 Crayon Eaters (6-4)

I blame these guys for making 25% of the open thread about eating crayons. Their last two matches were a forfeit and a 5v6 in matches they were already the underdogs in, so not much else to report.

#16 Holy Ghost Baptism (6-4) [-2]

The Creature Feature just barely slides into the last ranked spot which I determined primarily by guessing. As mentioned before, I don't see much difference between the last few spots and the honorable mentions. They're all in a tight race to make the final ESEA-Open playoffs.

Honorable Mention(s):

Free Mr. U (8-2)

Artists formerly known as The N-Word Free Zone have a great record so far, but most of those wins have come against mid-tier competition. Their strongest win yet was a narrow victory over Team Frantic. At 8-2 already, they're in a good spot, but a win in the upcoming game against Nav eSports is critical to staying in the race since the climb won't get any easier from here.

SkyZ Gaming (5-5) [Prev: #16] and
Team Frantic (5-5)

Both of these teams had a hot start, but are now going through a rough patch. They're both barely still in playoff contention with the right luck, but they're set to face off against each other soon. The winner will likely keep their playoff hopes alive, while the loser won't.

Big Guys Small Dogs (6-4) [Prev: NR]

The forfeit win kings had trouble out of the gate, but their recent roster shakeup with the addition of the fantastic mister Phoxx might put them in the playoff race if they can get the right flank scout pickup.

The CUM (6-4) [Prev: NR]

Their team name is awful and they had equally awful luck in their first half of the season. However, they have good players and they've taken care of business with their relatively easy schedule, so perhaps they could come from behind to take one of the last playoff spots.
__________

While things this week went mostly as expected, there are still another three weeks left for weird shit to happen. Watch out for The Medic Academy vs. Cheep Cheep on Tuesday, The Perfect Sip vs. Goys R Us on Wednesday, and Cheep Cheep vs. The Perfect Sip on Thursday.

ESEA Open Power Rankings S31: Vol. 3 of 7, 5/27/19
Updates every Monday probably.

The first few weeks are always a bit dull, but now with 4 weeks down, things are finally starting to get interesting as the matchups gradually become more even. There aren't many major jumps this week, but almost everyone shifted around a bit.
__________

#1 The Medic Academy (8-0)

The Academy hasn't faced a true threat to their #1 spot since their match against The Perfect Sip. Next week, they'll finally take on another contender, Late To Mid.

#2 Cheep Cheep (8-0) [+1]

Unlike The Medic Academy, Cheep Cheep hasn't faced any of the other apparent top 4. However, they have had a steady stream of pretty good opponents and so far, have beat them all. Cheep Cheep and The Medic Academy remain the last two undefeated teams now. They haven't been scheduled against each other yet, but that matchup should be just on the horizon.

#3 The Perfect Sip (7-1) [+1]

After an imperfect week 3, The Perfect Sip has rebounded in week 4 with a dominant win over Rats on Acid and a tough but quality win against Late To Mid.

#4 Late To Mid (7-1) [-2]

While they fell down the rankings a bit with their loss to The Perfect Sip, they haven't fallen far. Their win over Angry Dog Noises has shown they still belong in the upper echelon.

#5 Smol Approachable Breasts, formerly Operation Starve B4nny (6-2) [+6]

I initially ranked this team at #3 early in the season, but they seemed to be performing below expectations in spite of having a strong group of players. Now, they seem to be doing a lot better with the addition of Grape Juice III. It may be too early to promote them back to top 5, but honestly, anything between #5 and #16 is a crapshoot guess right now.

#6 Goys R Us (7-1) [+3]

These gentiles have still had a soft schedule in league play, but it's hard to ignore how much success they've had in scrims against good teams. Once they start facing the remaining top teams, I think they have a decent chance of pulling off an upset or at least putting up a solid challenge.

#7 OK Kids (6-2) [-2]

The kids dropped two matches and two spots this week, but it's hard to fault them when they faced such a tough schedule. Their next week is a little easier, but still no walk in the park.

#8 Rats on Acid (7-1) [-1]

Not a whole lot to report here. Even though they're a good team, they couldn't slow The Perfect Sip's roll. Other than that, no real surprises.

#9 Angry Dog Noises (6-2) [-1]

Halfway through the season, Angry Dog Noises has already faced two top contenders in Cheep Cheep and Late to Mid. Next week, they're about to make it three with their match against The Perfect Sip. Even though the angry underdogs couldn't pull off the upset the first two times, they put up a good enough fight to show they still deserve a good ranking.

#10 Soulja Boy eSports (5-3) [-4]

After a hot start, the soulja boys have come under fire with 3 losses in their last 4. However, the end of the storm is in sight. Their next week appears to be a bit of a reprieve with two very winnable games.

#11 Good Damage 3 Endgame (6-2) [Prev: NR]

The final version of Good Damage, much like last season's version, didn't have the best start. Now at the median of the season, they've shown they're on the right track with some solid wins over pre-Juice Smol Approachable Breasts and Nav eSports.

#12 Yarn Legacy (7-1) [+1]

Compared to some of the erratic schedules of other teams here, Yarn Legacy has had a pretty fair schedule, and minus their first match loss, they've done well.

#13 Hwasa's Thighs (5-3) [+1]

As a not so serious team, predicting how they'll look each match is a shot in the dark. They rarely play with the exact same 6 so it really depends who they bring to match day.

#14 Holy Ghost Baptism (5-3) [+2]

Most of their match results went as expected, but their win over Good Damage 3 does complicate the rankings a little bit. They're a solid team on the playoff bubble, but they don't have much room for error from here on out.

#15 Crayon Eaters eSports (6-2)

In spite of their extreme crayon consumption, they couldn't stand against the 17% juice version of Smol Approachable Breasts. As some consolation, they picked up a win later in the week.

#16 SkyZ Gaming (5-3) [-6]

I was interested in seeing how they stacked up against Angry Dog Noises. Apparently, they weren't as eager since their leader forgot they had a match.

Honorable Mention(s):

Nav eSports (5-3)

Save for their first narrow win over Team Frantic, they haven't been able to pick up another real quality win yet. At 5-3, they're still in an alright place to sneak into one of the last playoff spots with the right roll of the dice.

Team Frantic (5-3)

They're in an almost identical situation as Nav eSports, and they appeared to be evenly matched based on their early season face off. No promise they'll make playoffs, but they're still in the race.

Free Mr. U (6-2) [Prev: #12]

I thought they would look much more dominant this week. At 6-2, they're in a great spot right now, but as the level of competition rises, they might need to clean things up a little bit for the latter half of the season to stay on track for a guaranteed playoff spot. Their recent match versus NKCCS was too close for comfort.
__________

As the final season of ESEA reaches the midpoint, the real fight for the post-season seeds begins. Expect next week's update to shake things up a lot more.

ESEA Open Power Rankings S31: Vol. 2 of 7, 5/20/19
Updates every Monday probably.

This week, there were relatively few key matchups so I ended up investigating logs.tf more than usual. Furthermore, since the last release was posted behind schedule, there isn't as much change as expected.
__________

#1 The Medic Academy (6-0)

While I can't confidently crown anyone the definitive #1 contender with so little info, I don't see any reason to move down The Medic Academy since they haven't played another match since last week and no one else has looked dominant enough to raise the question yet.

#2 Late To Mid (5-0)

Basically the same story as above except replace "#1" with "#2".

#3 Cheep Cheep (6-0) [+1]

Unlike the two mentioned above, Cheep Cheep actually did play a notable match (versus Angry Dog Noises). They dropped a couple of rounds, but nonetheless came out on top 5-2, affirming their place near the top of the list.

#4 Perfect Sip (5-1) [+1]

Recent results suggest that this iteration of the John Milter and Mr. Popo combo isn't as strong as last season's The Boomers (which makes sense because they don't have a bunch of invite players this time). Their last match against Soulja Boy eSports came down to overtime where The Perfect Sip came away with a less than perfect 5-4 victory. They did have to substitute a player mid-match, so to be fair, that might have caused some issues. Either way, it's still a solid win considering Soulja Boy eSports is a good team.

#5 OK Kids (6-0) [+3]

After some role swaps, re-orientation, and the addition of Lysol, they've gone from "maybe playoffs" to probably top 8. Their recent 5-0 win over SkyZ Gaming shows that this last season is probably going to be a bit better than OK for them.

#6 Soulja Boy eSports (4-2) [+4]

Soulja Boy eSports is currently halfway through tough stretch of games spanning OK Kids, The Perfect Sip, Holy Ghost Baptism, and The Medic Academy. True, they lost their last two games, but they made both of them close enough to say that they're near the top of the heap.

#7 Rats on Acid (6-0)

No significant change from last week. I don't really have anything to say but it looks weird if I leave this space empty.

#8 Angry Dog Noises (5-1) [+1]

Recent scrim results suggest that the Dogs and Rats are pretty close in skill levels. That said, I gave the Rats a slight
edge based on their greater pool of experience and stronger match schedule so far.

#9 Goys R Us (5-1) [Prev: HR]

The Goys boys have a pretty dead ESEA schedule full of FFWs and predictable results aside from their win over Midfright/Hwasa's Thighs. On the other hand, a look through the log archives shows that they've been performing well behind the scenes. I don't like to look too deeply into scrim results since there are many other factors to consider, but it wouldn't feel right to leave them out of the rankings either.

#10 SkyZ Gaming (5-1) [Prev: HR]

I wasn't sure if I underrated SkyZ Gaming, overrated Operation Starve B4nny, or maybe both, so it's hard to draw a conclusion from SkyZ's recent 5-4 win over Operation Starve B4nny. I think on paper, their upcoming match against Angry Dog Noises should help clear things up as to where SkyZ stands.

#11 Operation Starve B4nny (4-1) [-8]

Just based on the individual strength of their players, Operation St4rve B4nny should probably be higher on the list. In their last match, Screwball dropped nearly 60 kills. Regardless, the game is judged on rounds won and not kills, and they ended up just barely losing to the above mentioned SkyZ gaming 5-4. Perhaps they just need a bit more time to synchronize together?

#12 Free Mr. U (4-2) [-1]

As far as matches go, their schedule probably won't give us any new info any time soon. Their scrim results seem to suggest that keeping them ranked around this place is a good estimate, though.

#13 Yarn Legacy (5-1)

After losing to a bunch of crayon munchers to kickoff the season, they seem to be doing a bit better. Adding Playmo on roamer and moving BBZ to medic seems to be a more fitting use of the team's resources, so the future is looking pretty good for Bobby's boys.

#14 HWASA'S THIGHS, formerly Midfright (4-2) [-8]

#15 Crayons Eaters eSports (5-1) [-3]

While they've mostly continued to perform as expected in their most recent performances, I do think I overranked them slightly based on their win over pre-Playmo addition Yarn Legacy. That said, their next outing against Operation Starve B4nny is a good chance for them to show what they can do and move up.

#16 Holy Ghost Baptism (5-1) [-1]

I'm not really surprised by any of their recent results. I imagine their playoff chances are going to be up in the air throughout the whole season since I think their chances against many playoff bubble teams are coin flips.

Honorable Mentions:

Nav eSports (4-2) [Prev: #14]

I didn't move them down due to any fault of their own; it's just a crowded list. That said, I think everyone from about #15 through #20 are all pretty close, and after everyone's season has come to an end, there are going to be a few very disappointed teams.

Team Frantic, formerly Frantic Gaming (4-2) [Prev: #16]

They aren't really taking the season seriously, but the quality of their players is good enough that they still have a solid chance of taking one of the last playoff spots with the right matchups. Plus, many of them have experience playing with each other in past seasons anyway, so I imagine they don't need as much practice as some other teams to do well.
__________

Compared to how awful my first edition was last season, I think my first part was a lot better this time. Or maybe I just haven't had enough time to be proven wrong. We'll see.

ESEA Open Power Rankings S31: Vol. 1 of 7, 5/15/19
Updates every Monday probably (this one was delayed for exams).

I wasn't planning on doing nerd essay rankings again, but I figured I might as well do it for the last season since it isn't that much work aside from the first one.

Keep in mind this is largely speculation since there's little info to go off of, so expect major changes in the next update if I do one.
__________

#1 The Medic Academy (5-0)

My first somewhat random guess for the #1 spot. Three of the starting players have IM playoff experience and a few others have IM experience as well. I'm not sure who their medic Rockboss is since he has no prior ESEA history, but he seems to be doing good. Right now, they have a notable win over Mr. Popo and John Milter's team, The Perfect Sip,
which is a more valuable victory than any other team can lay claim to so far.

#2 Late to Mid (4-0)

Three old invite players return for one last adventure in ESEA. They haven't played in a while, but for open, it shouldn't be a big deal. Taiga, Crybaby, and a few others round out the rest of their roster well enough to make them contenders.

#3 Operation Starve B4nny (4-0)

This team has a number of strong players who are high open or IM level. To top it off, they have Screwball, one of the most experienced players in the division.

#4 Cheep Cheep (5-0)

A mish-mash of players with some Invite/IM experience and a few high open players. Most importantly, the legendary dflame has returned.

#5 The Perfect Sip (4-1)

Like it or not, the Mr. Popo and John Milter combo returns following 2 consecutive division wins. This time, they've filled out most of their roster with remnants of last season's top contender, Enoch eSports (AKA the FaceIt Super Team), so it's hard to imagine them placing outside top 6.

#6 Midfright (3-1)

I'm not sure how seriously these guys are taking the season, but they have a wealth of experience. I don't think they are top contenders, but I imagine they'll make playoffs without too much hassle.

#7 Rats on Acid (5-0)

Even though the rats aren't all on their main classes, they formed early enough pre-season to scrim a lot and get used to their roles. They've done good so far, collecting 4 wins with only moderate difficulty.

#8 OK Kids (5-0)

The kids have been together for a long time and now return for their 9th registered season. With some quality wins over Not Gay and Soulja Boy eSports, their final ESEA season is looking OK.

#9 Angry Dog Noises (5-0)

The best dog-themed team in open has faced fairly soft competition so far, but they've won in expected fashion without losing any rounds. Even though they haven't had much chance to showcase their skills in matches, they've performed pretty well in scrims.

#10 Soulja Boy eSports (4-1)

Although Team Win Steel did not win steel or open (they didn't even play steel), a number of it's players have reformed with the new, slightly less misleading, Soulja Boy eSports team. XBS on scout is an interesting choice for them. His first game against OK Kids didn't go great in terms of stats, but his deep experience and gamesense will allow him to contribute in ways not represented by the scoreboard, so it's hard to measure how much impact he'll have.

#11 Free Mr. U (3-2)

The N-Word Free Zone returns to seek social justice for Mr. U. They got upset 0-4 on Product, but considering they played a bunch of Highlander players, it's understandable that Riverside TF had more experience on the terrain. Their record sits at 3-2, but even in a loss, they were able to steal a few rounds from Cheep Cheep.

#12 Crayon Eater eSports (4-1)

None of these players have much apparent experience worth noting, but they've done well and picked up a good win over Yarn Legacy. Aside from a slightly amusing ESEA bio, there isn't much to say about them until they play a bit more.

#13 Yarn Legacy (4-1)

With so little to go off of, it's hard to make a strong judgement about the Yarn boys. I was surprised they lost to Crayon Eater eSports, but looking at their players, they have a ton of combined experience as well as a former invite player, so they've got a lot going in their favor.

#14 Nav eSports (3-2)

This iteration of Nav eSports is a fusion of last season's Nav eSports and last season's Retards of the Carribean. Their narrow early season victory over Frantic Gaming has shown that they are at the least in contention to make playoffs this season if they can keep up the good work.

#15 Holy Ghost Baptism (4-0)

Although lacking any big names, they seem like a competent team so far. They've defeated the third iteration of two time playoff team Good Damage, but it's unclear how good Good Damage is, so I'm not sure how much that win means right now. They'll have a chance to prove themselves soon versus Midfright, and they should be favored to win the Holy War against Rex and the Rapture, so we'll have to check back in next week to see where they stand. As of now, they're a mystery.

#16 Team Frantic (3-2)

The Frantic Gaming roster has went 10-6 twice previously. Now, like many other old rosters, it's been revived for the last chapter of ESEA. Their first two matchups were down to the wire - a 5-4 loss and a 5-4 win, but their most recent match ended in a more decisive loss versus Yarn Legacy. With how competitive some of their matches have been, it's hard to make bets where they'll end up when season comes to a close.

Honorable Mentions:

Skyz Gaming (4-0)

Placing teams this early in the season is mostly speculation, but this team, under the banner of an old MW2 clan, recently triumphed over Big Guys With Small Dogs (a remake of the two time 9-7 Cumber Crew) so I'd argue they're at least on the bubble of playoffs.

Good Damage 3 Endgame (3-2)

Good Damage returns for the third and final act. The roster is very different from last season, but there are still some familiar faces. They started off rough last season and managed to make playoffs, so don't let their start make you think they're out of the conversation.

Goys r Us (3-1)

They have some good players, but they haven't had many chances to actually play since their first three matches ended up FFWs and their sole real match was against one of the top teams. We'll have to wait for more data.

Big Guys Small Dogs (0-4)

A mixup of players from Cumber Crew and Enjoy Freezing. Their 0-4 start looks bad, but they've had a tough first round to be fair. Their next few weeks should be a good chance for the delicate dog lovers to recover. Still, a 0-4 start means there's little room for error from here on out.

Riverside TF (1-3)

These Highlander players might not be off to a hot start at 1-3, but their sole win comes against a good team, and their losses are all to good or great teams, so they're worth keeping an eye on.
__________

On an unrelated note, fuck all these CS:GO teams. I want to actually play the goddamned league I paid to play in instead of collecting forfeits.

Very smart player and caller from what I've seen playing with him a few times.

Roster
Scouts: HP, Kale
Roamer: XiPoison
Pocket: Ry4n
Demo: Titan
Getting Carried Medic: Me

Need subs right now for any class.

I can help you out with your league fee if we end up needing you to play.

https://steamcommunity.com/id/trashhhhhhhhf/

Non-Gameplay

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hM4Rgnx2s2s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3XpBECHi9I

Favorite ESEA frag vid

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=girr0whBCYg

Nice guy and a good player. Does well on flank & pocket. Also a really good sniper from what I've seen.

(Continued...)

#29 DEADBEEF (6-10)

After two .500 seasons in a row, 3735928559 was not able to make it to 8-8 again. They did have some fun games though with two of them coming down to one round.

#30 Rex and his Raptors (6-10)

Not the best but not the worst Newbie Mix Drive team this season (lost to Retards, beat Warriors). This time, Grape Juice's students managed to collect 3 non-FFWs which isn't bad considering they changed up roles just about every week.

#31 Envision Crew (3-13)

As the longest running team in open, Sidular returned for his 8th consecutive season under the same roster page. Throughout his history there have been some up ticks (10-6) and down ticks, and unfortunately, this one was a down tick. But who knows. The Sidular crew went 1-15 before having a 10-6 season, so maybe next time will be better.

#32 Wireless Warriors (5-11)

Finally, the oft defeated Newbie Mix Team #3 feat. P4rsa. They nearly got a win on Propaganda, but fell apart near the end. Still, at least they managed to make it to the end of the season. Last place is better than dead (maybe).

Dead Teams:

Hostile Hamster Datenight (8-8)

The artists formerly known as White Genocide started the season 8-1 but said fuck it and peaced out to play Apex Legends (according to their guestbook comments). They were almost revived in time to face Home
Run Thomas, but were re-deaded by Discord's homework.

Keyboard Lords (6-10)

The Lords had a chance at finishing in the middle, or even as someone taking the 16th seed, but they disbanded in their final 5. General Nick, Hugs and Kisses, and Retards of the Carribean were all beatable opponents who could've got them in at 9-7 depending on number of rounds won.

Dab on UGC (5-11)

They died, but they do have the distinct honor (?) of being, as far as I know, the only team to win a game 1-0 this season.

Cozy Gang (4-12)

The Gay Communist Gun Club AKA Cozy Gang AKA Team Boxcar wasn't amazing, but wasn't bad either. They were on track for an average middle open season, but died.

Summertime (2-14)

They died at the mid point of the season, but Summertime wasn't all that bad for a team with a 2-14 record. They nearly upset Toaster in the Bath and beat an alright Nav eSports team.

Jeffinators (1-9)

In spite of having 29 people on their roster, Jeffinators didn't make it long. Of course, most of those players never had any intention of playing, and the fact that they posted their join password on their guestbook might have inflated the numbers.

homoheroes (1-9)

This team was just a bunch of Counter Strike players who seemed to register just for the hell of it. I assumed they'd
play one match and quit but they actually played two. I think they intended to just play one, but the leader of their
second match opponent kindly asked them to play and they actually did surprisingly.

Ok Kids (1-9), Cumber Crew (0-10), Drush and the Jets (0-8), The Creatures (0-7)

These teams died at the start of the season so there isn't much to say. That's the end of the list. Kind of anti-climactic. Maybe I should've sorted this from bottom to top.

Anyway, that concludes my ESEA Open S30 Power Rankings that no one asked for. Good luck to everyone who made playoffs or plans to play S31. Finally, thanks for reading, giving feedback, and helping me improve the series throughout the course of the season.

-S30-

(Continued...)

#15 Carrier Penguins (9-7)

The Penguins floated through the season on the playoff bubble and just barely missed it. In a final ditch effort to get the last win they needed, they came close to upsetting Moshi Moshi VAC Ban Desu with a 3-1 lead at half time, but like in their match against Plumpwench, couldn't hold onto it. I guess Sunshine is a cursed map for them.

#16 Enjoy Freezing (8-8) [+1]

This team was all over the place in terms of match results. They lost their first match to General Nick, then won 7 in a row including a win over Good Damage 2. After losing a few more, they nearly knocked off 5Head in overtime, but immediately after get knocked out of contention themselves by Hugs and Kisses. They then finished their last three with close matches against Home Run Thomas, Toaster in the Bath, and Snore. With a softer schedule, they probably would've made playoffs, but that's just how it goes sometimes.

#17 The N-Word Free Zone (8-8)

There are a few low seed playoff teams I would favor them against, but with their last two games scheduled against Snore and The Boomers, their fate was sealed as soon as they lost to the Carrier Penguins. As an aside, congratulations for managing to play every game with the same six people. That in itself is an accomplishment for an open team.

#18 Home Run Thomas (8-8) [-2]

The Home Run Thomas boys were incredibly close to making it into the last playoff slot, but close only counts for Soldiers and Demomen. They started off hitting big with a 7-1 start, but weren't able to keep it up in the later innings.

#19 Hugs and Kisses (7-9)

With half a squad of returning players and some great additions replacing the departed, it looked like a strong season was in store for Hugs and Kisses. Unfortunately, a tough schedule dragged down their record and a few winnable games slipped away such as their close 4-3 match vs. Nav eSports (featuring former teammate Tosm). Toward the end of the season, it looked like they were on the right track with an upset over Enjoy Freezing and a close
fight with the Longerboys, but there weren't enough games left to get back in the race.

#20 Eternal Phoenix Cult (9-7), <S: 16>

This team slipped into playoffs under the radar. They ended up with enough rounds for their 9 wins to get them in
over the Carrier Penguins. While arguably there were some other teams that "deserved" this spot more, I'm happy to
see them get in after fighting for the spot down to the wire in their last two games, both 5-4 wins.

#21 Nav eSports (7-8)

I kind of thought of these guys as my baseline for an average open team. They beat off most of the low open teams with ease and had some really tight ones with mid open teams, but were blown out by the upper tier. I do think it's a little unfortunate they didn't get a chance at a final game because 8-8 feels a lot better than 7-8 (odd team out, no 16th game).

#22 Plumpwench (now Club KO) (6-10)

Plumpwench was cursed with a brutal schedule, and they were probably a bit better than their record suggests. Still, they managed to put up a fight and even managed to upset the Carrier Penguins. I expected them to do a little more after opening the season with a close game vs. the Burnsiders (now MyAnimeList Academy), but overall, not too bad of a season considering they were able to take home a few solid wins.

#23 General Nick (6-10)

These guys got the worst of the evil ESEA computer's matchmaking. With a promising 5-3 win over
Enjoy Freezing and a 4-0 start, they were stricken down for daring to win. 9/10 of their losses were to teams I ranked in my top 16 at some point, so at the least, they lead the division in quality losses. If they had been given a more average
schedule, I think they would've at least been 8-8.

#24 Retards of the Carribean (10-6), <S: 15>

By far the most successful Newbie Mix Drive team of the season. Sure, they got into playoffs with the blessing of a shallow schedule and a lot of FFWs (they have a negative RF-RA), but for team of mostly brand new players, it's still impressive to go 10-6 and improve so much regardless of the circumstances. They worked especially hard for those last two wins, winning both games 4-3.

#25 Old Fools Big Tools (8-8)

The Old Fools got crossed up in some weird 3 way bubble playoff race. If they had beaten both the Retards of the Carribean and Eternal Phoenix Cult, they would have been the ones sneaking into the playoffs. They ultimately lost both matches by 1 round which allowed both the Retards and Eternal Phoenix Cult to make the last couple of playoff spots while the Old Fools were left hanging at 8-8.

#26 Pretty Boys (6-10)

I don't really know much to say about this team. Turns out writing about 43 teams gets repetitive somewhere around the 22 mark.

#27 NKCCS (8-8)

I'm running out of things to write but I'm almost finished so I might as well put something here. Something.

#28 The Underducklings (8-8)

Although this team did not have any major wins, they were at least good enough to beat some of the lower end teams decisively and even took a couple of rounds from some upper open teams. There are also lot of nice, patient people on this team. If rankings were based on niceness, they'd definitely be in the upper playoff bracket.

(Final part continued below...)

ESEA Open S30 Power Rankings, Vol. 6 (Final)
3/18/2019

With The Boomers defeating There We go 5-2, the regular season has officially come to a close. For this final edition, I thought it would be a good time to make a complete wrap-up of the season by ranking every surviving team (any team not marked "Dead" on the roster page).

Why? Firstly because I'm a dumb nerd who can't get any sleep. Secondly, there was a lot of time between the previous update and the last match of the season. So yeah, enough rambling. Here's my nerd essay.

Key:
___ = Made playoffs
<S: #> = Playoff seed
[+/-] = Change in rank since previous edition (if ranked previously and rank changed)
# = Power ranking
(N-N) = Record

#1 Simian Aggression (16-0), <S: 1>

I've given this team a lot of praise, and deservedly so considering they've wrapped up a perfect regular season.
Still, they aren't taking their remaining opponents lightly; I've heard several players on this team give credit where it's
due to the other top contenders. Overall, I'm still favoring the 16-0 apes to win playoffs, but it's not going to be an easy fight either to take home that glorious 250 dollars. Congratulations on not losing guys.

#2 The Boomers (15-1), <S: 2>

Snore started the season as (arguably) the more stacked team, but steady reinforcements of veterans has grown The Boomers past them slightly. Still, I'm sure a rematch will be close again (The Boomers won the previous meeting 5-3). The Boomers predictably boomed most teams or just made them say fuck it and forfeit and have made their way through the season with only a single blemish on their record.

#3 Enoch eSports (14-2), <S: 3>

As a team full of Face It lords with little experience on their ESEA pages, the only people I heard hyping them up pre-season were people who had actually scrimmed them and saw that they were really, really good. I underrated them at first, but they gradually proved to all that they deserve their status as contenders. They lost to The Boomers and Simian Aggression, but gave both teams a hard fight.

#4 Snore (13-3), <S: 4>

The last of the apparent open title contenders. Even while not taking the season too seriously, they've managed to give the other top teams a lot of trouble. You could argue these guys as high as #2, especially considering they might get more serious now that playoffs have arrived. They aren't my top pick to win the division, but I wouldn't be shocked if they did either.

#5 SliceRogue is Banned (13-3), <S: 5> [+3]

After a failure to launch at the start with 2 forfeits losses and a 5v6 loss, this team turned it around and won out. Aside from that, I know dickall about them since I don't know these aliases, although some people have said that they should be higher possibly? Maybe they'll make semi-finals? Probably not, but maybe. Who knows.

#6 There We Go (12-4), <S: 6>

TWG cruised through the season under the radar since most of their early wins were against low tier teams. Their first real challenge against MyAnimeList Academy ended up a disappointment since they couldn't field 6. Finally, as the strength of their competition increased in the latter half of the season, they made their case for a spot in the upper bracket of playoffs with quality wins over Home Run Thomas, Carrier Penguins, Toaster in the Bath, Lion Coalition, and Longerboys.

#7 Moshi Moshi Vac Ban Desu (11-5), <S: 10> [-2]

In the first half of the season, the MikeMat friend team was just almost good enough to be a top team, but a few tough games left them at a sub-.500 record. Then just in time, Ebsikl rode in and gave them the last little push needed to turn the tides of some close games. I'm not saying Ebsikl carried them, but I think he was what they needed to bump them into the next tier. In the end, they managed to win-out after his arrival and turned a 4-5 season into an 11-5 season. Still, the less than dominant performance in their final match versus Carrier Penguins hurt their stock some.

#8 My AnimeList Academy (11-5), <S: 7> [-1]

Like Moshi Moshi VAC Ban Desu, this team had a rough start and a strong finish. Speaking of which, it looks like they'll be re-matching Moshi Moshi VAC Ban Desu in the first round of playoffs, so one of these teams is making an early exit. Their first match was close, but this time they'll be without Ekh0, so that could mix things up (for better or worse).

Edit/Correction: They're dead.

#9 Longerboys (11-5), <S: 9>

Gjohnce feat. Gjohnce morphed into the Longerboys mid-season. They had few easy games following their elongation, but ultimately managed to go 5-1, with that one loss only 3-2. The 8th/9th seed is a hot seat; they'll be in for another grind against Toaster in the Bath in the first playoff round.

#10 Good Damage 2 (10-6), <S: 12> [+4]

Every week, I think I've either underrated or overrated this team. To be fair to me, a number of roster changes and substitutions made them hard to judge. Finally, I think I've found out where to put them. Similar to Lion Coalition, they had to go up against a number of good teams early in the season which set them back, but nonetheless, Good Damage 2 was able to win out their last 4, making their 6-6 into 10-6 and securing a playoff spot.

#11 Lion Coalition (10-6), <S: 11> [+2]

ESEA veteran and lacrosse hero Bill returned for his 13th season, making playoffs for the 5th time. The beginning of the season looked rocky with a losing record, but they managed to keep with it and climbed back into the top 16 just in time.

#12 Team Win Steel (10-6), <S: 14> [-2]

I thought of them as an underdog to make playoffs after their first few, but an 8 game hot streak including upsets
over MyAnimeList Academy (then the Burnsiders) and Toaster in the Bath put them on the map. Their playoff dream nearly went to waste, but a 4-3 comeback over 5Head finally put them over the line to make it in.

#13 Toaster in the Bath (11-5), <S: 8> [-1]

From early in the season, it seemed this team had a lot potential with the players they were able to assemble. Since they formed pretty close to the start of the season, they didn't ball out initially, but after the mid-point, it looked like things really started to come together.

#14 5Head (10-6), <S: 13> [-3]

In spite of some slip-ups getting that 10th win, they caught it with a 5-1 over Carrier Penguins, securing their playoff spot. I thought they would end the season with a few more wins, but 10 is still a solid finish.

(Continued below due to character count limit...)

Last one, sorry

Almost done.

See above.

Ignore/downfrag this, bumping to next page so multi-part post doesn't get broken up.