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#117 Predatory behaviour within the community. in Site Discussion
unfiaboouberchainPlease stop fucking asking people why they talk about it online vs. reporting it to a broken legal system that still doesn't know how to support sexual abuse and rape victims.As much as I can understand the huge frustration coming from your own experience reporting this, honestly, I don't think an individual case of a bad experience should ever count as universal truth of how the legal system works and prevent anyone else from reporting crimes to authorities that are supposed to deal with said crimes.
I'd still rather have someone report a real crime to the real world, cause all tf.tv can do is preventing these freaks from interacting with a part of the community, that's about it.

While I also think people should still report if they want to, especially if there are other victims (this is important), I'm telling you right now that if you think it was just my individual case that's a bad experience, you haven't paid attention to what a lot of other victims have said in similar cases to mine especially outside of TFTV or TF2. I had chat logs, emails, and my word when I went in to the authorities but written text logs are infamous for being twistable as "that could be anybody lol". I'm not even gonna talk for the other victims, that's for them to talk about if they went to the authorities or not. But imagine someone with more proof outside our situation being let down the same way.

Cleoh vs Sinatraa comes to mind even if our cases are not the same. Cleoh had fucking audio proof to show reasonable dubious consent. There were several investigations that happened with that from Riot Games, Sentinels, and authorities, but months later they said they didn't find enough evidence that any punishable action felt necessary against Sinatraa. Cleoh's mental eventually deteriorated enough that she stopped pursuing it but iirc she said at any point, that case can be opened back up from US authorities with or without her. Sinatraa was let back into the VAL scene like nothing happened and some of the top pro players in VAL were queuing up with him on streams. He will never be picked up for a team for a long time nor Riot, but he's still doing very well as that VAL player who "survived cancel culture". Sentinels is still one of the most popular brands in VAL despite allowing him to stay signed on as an inactive content creator. And if she was right, Cleoh received no justice. None of this shit tends to be as black-and-white textbook evil as people think it can be when you tell anybody that rape or sexual abuse happened to you, and unfortunately, that's also what a lot of legal systems operate on too worldwide, which means so many cases that go to court don't actually end up really helping these victims find justice nor closure. (EDIT I FUCKING LIED his team's competing in NA LCQ now LMFAOOO fuck this shit man)

By the way, saw some top invite players in this scene are still apparently hanging out with outed predators or rapists apparently in pugscrims or on streams, basically still letting them interact with a part of the community. Really fucking cool to see that's still happening in TF2, by the way. I'm sure their victims appreciate that.

wheatchampionWhile uberchain's experience sounds horrible and unfair, I think (hope!) the UK's judicial system does a better job at protecting whistleblowers. Either way have a read through it if you feel you could help.

Idk enough about UK law even skimming this (other than age of consent being under 18, which means illegal activity technically might not have happened, just immoral) but I would recommend any victims who want to go public or have gone public with their experiences to take one thing away from my own:

In case coyo does do that thing where he uses his rich baby manchild money to threaten people legally to shut up with libel or defamation, feel comfort knowing that if you might not have enough tangible evidence of illegal activity, he hopefully doesn't have enough evidence to sue you for defamation. If any victim (of coyo, of anyone) does pursue reporting it to authorities, I hope you'll have the law on your side. I hope money concerns won't be too taxing. It will take a mental toll on you. It can go to breaking point. You might have some of the darkest thoughts you will ever have, regardless of the encouragement and love you receive, and you'll need to be cognizant of feeling like it's too much despite all the outside support. But you chose to fight, and you're still here despite it all. Still, keep that support line of people you trust most to keep you afloat and help you wade through the dark times, and try to get access to counseling resources if available.

posted about a year ago
#106 Predatory behaviour within the community. in Site Discussion
unfiabooDid anyone actually allert authorities? Did anyone do that with alfa/nursey/broking and the rest of the freakshow?
Cause yeah, it's nice to see victims coming forward on tf.tv, but these are actual crimes that should be dealt with by real-life authorities.

When the Dexerto articles dropped in 2019, Connie and I were threatened with legal action for publicly speaking up with a name. I filed a police report. I may or may not have gotten told during 2020 before the pandemic hit that all the evidence I had - especially if I may or may not have been the only one filing a report - was not enough at that stage of the investigation. This information can now be used against me in a court of law now that I've talked about the process.

Thought you should know after 3 years of me staying away from here as to how reporting that shit to real-life authorities works out.

Please stop fucking asking people why they talk about it online vs. reporting it to a broken legal system that still doesn't know how to support sexual abuse and rape victims.

Fuck you, coyo. To the people he took advantage of and preyed upon: I'm sorry he did this to you. I'm sorry if you felt unsafe then. I'm sorry if you feel unsafe now. I hope you will be supported by the people you trust most if you can't find justice or safety here, or out there.

posted about a year ago
#239 yomps has passed away. in TF2 General Discussion

Still one of my favourite plays. God fucking bless you. Fly high.

posted about 3 years ago
#87 yomps has passed away. in TF2 General Discussion

Any questions about cause of death, or speculation of death, will be met with a ban here on out. Have some respect for yomps' friends & family, please. This is the only warning I will give and I imagine everybody who has mod powers who still lurks this hellsite will follow my lead.

It seemed like yesterday I was clipping your big brain plays like standing on somebody's head on Snake last, lamenting with Wyatt over how you left Ascent to join froyotech, or watching you grin and nod along to Bren and Sideshow's UK football jeers in rhythm at Rewind II. We didn't know each other beyond association with Ascent and some photos I took of you at LANs, but thank you for what you gave to us and your friends & family.

I hope they'll be well and I hope you find peace.

posted about 3 years ago
#34 Message in a Bottle in TF2 General Discussion

Bumping this again after the announcement of i67, which means this'll be the first year in a long time that there will be no TF2-focused LANs. I'll start:

It's been a long time since I've wanted to talk to you after what happened then, but it hurt way too much knowing whose side you took during that era. I don't know why you did what you did when I trusted you fully with information and you let that information pass on to the people who hurt me most. I don't know if you've come to terms with your complicity during that time, but regardless, it hurt me in a way I have not come to terms with. I'm sorry if I hurt your friend, I'm sorry if I hurt you, and I'm sorry that something you put your heart and soul into was destroyed just like that - imagine how much it hurts for me, especially after some names involved in it were revealed to be just as bad as a man we once both cared about. I'm still hurting to this day for what you did.

However, I know your life has not been easy either since. You are incredibly talented and you seem like a good person deep down. I don't want to see your actions as something that defines who you actually are. I was going to address this next time I saw you, but that's gonna be a while at this point, isn't it? I lost a lot during then, and I consider you part of what I lost. I just hope you're doing well, your family & friends are doing well, and I am still waiting for us to talk about it once you're ready; maybe I can find you again. Take care. Have fun with your streams!

posted about 3 years ago
#3 Fully Charged! Episode 47 - Promod Edition in Events


posted about 3 years ago
#19 TF2 update for 5/1/20 in TF2 General Discussion


Robin Atkin Downes also included a brief but somber in-character tribute to Rick May in his most recent video that he uploaded for his fans, where he reprises Kaz from MGS reaching out to Snake in hard times to show him a video of Medic from TF2 demonstrating how to (not) wash hands during the COVID-19 pandemic.

I really appreciate the effort they've put into Rick's memorialization such as the bronze statues as well as the Taps rendition on the menu screen but it does suck that the statues are intrusive for gameplay, putting them in spawn probably would have been the best way to go about this.

posted about 3 years ago
#12 TF2 voice actor Rick May passes away at 79 in News


Thank you for your contributions to this world. Godspeed, you magnificent bastard.
May you rest in peace, and may your family & friends be well during these trying times.

posted about 4 years ago
#1 Message in a Bottle in TF2 General Discussion


It's been hard for me for the past few months, but I imagine it's been hard for a lot of people lately. I imagine wanting to see teammates or friends again that you haven't seen in a while cuts deeper now than ever. This weekend was supposed to be Copenhagen Games for Europe; last month, it would have been RGL Playoffs for North America, and at the beginning of this year, it would have been BTSTF2.

For this thread, write a small message towards an anonymous somebody of your choice you met through TF2 (or elsewhere, if you'd prefer) that you miss right now, or that you might not have talked to in a while. That lives in another country or even another content, that might be active or might have moved on. That you were on a team with then, that you're in Mumble or Discord with now.

The game is not claiming a message here or calling it out publicly within the thread - instead, see if you want to reach out to the person who wrote it, or indulge in it knowing it's for you and that you are being thought about. Maybe write back anonymously as well. Positive messages are recommended, but if you need to vent or if you wish something could change, you may write about that.

Similar to the TFTV safe space thread, please don't harass each other or be unnecessarily spiteful. You can write as little as you need, as much as you'd like, but try to respect each other and not call out whom a message is written to here, write anything deliberately slanderous or overtly specific, or have condescending back-and-forths.


While I've been trying to stay away from TFTV for personal reasons, I wanted to offer some form of comfort for people or old friends who are going through trying times at the moment - who miss friends or teammates they would normally meet up with again at LAN, and are uncertain about when or if they'll see them again.

For now - breathe, and rest. Call each other and laugh. Stay safe, stay indoors, and wash your hands.

posted about 4 years ago
#39 AMA with enigma in Events

Favourite boba flavours?

posted about 4 years ago
#8 MAJOR TF2 update for 12/16/19 (Smissmas 2019) in TF2 General Discussion

You're welcome

Also I'm gonna need this penguin literally right now



posted about 4 years ago
#6 MAJOR TF2 update for 12/16/19 (Smissmas 2019) in TF2 General Discussion
ratawarWhat was that page where I could see the latest items added to the game?

Trade.tf Items Update
TF2 Workshop Recently Accepted

posted about 4 years ago
#15 Now that the cat's out of the bag in TF2 General Discussion
highfiveNo offense to uberchain who I'm sure worked super hard on itunravno offense to the people that make them, butdrshdwpuppetI have mad respect for (now most of) the people who worked on it, but highfiveIf someone else is going to try and make a tf2 doc, make it ABOUT tf2


For the record: everything you guys have said is probably valid, and I encourage people who liked and disliked it to give feedback even now (and if my concept was stupid too). In terms of not meaning to offend me: doesn't make it hurt for me any less.

I will add that ignoring the shit Dashner's done, I do appreciate the work he, Loris, Shounic, and others put into the film, and I do think their product was good for what they wanted, but the message might not have been conveyed well. I did bring up that concern but it wasn't listened to by Dashner, who was dead set on his direction. I hate that now so many things I've worked on are now tainted by how I thought while I was still his partner, I was convinced I was making a nice emotional thing for TF2 but I do recognize how it could be interpreted as destructive rather than somber.

posted about 4 years ago
#13 Me, Dashner, and TF2 in TF2 General Discussion
-protoyou're both from Ontario right? contact the OPP. bring up consoles story as well. he/she can be questioned by US police and info will be exchanged across the border.

I'm from Alberta. The act detailed here happened within YRP jurisdiction. When Console was pressing charges I wanted to try seeing if there might be hope revisiting the idea of pressing charges, and was planning visiting my local crisis center for more legal counsel, but I'm unaware of how much they'll know about jurisdiction outside of my province, especially for a situation like mine. Additionally, Console's legal proceedings seemed to be going nowhere. It could be different since I'm Canadian, but the rape kit test in the standard reporting procedure will not help me here.

posted about 4 years ago
#1 Me, Dashner, and TF2 in TF2 General Discussion


If you have not read Console's statement about Dashner yet, please read it first. You can find Console's thread here: https://tf.gg/54265/

TRIGGER WARNINGS: verbal & emotional abuse, gaslighting, sexual abuse, rape, mentions of suicide

Around 2018, I made a Twitter post about the harassment I experienced in the Team Fortress 2 community from people who have tried to take advantage of me and abused me. But I never dropped any names. In particular, I've held back this man's name for 2 years, thinking we needed him so the small, competitive esports scene we built within TF2 could keep going.

Now, after realizing he's gone and hurt somebody else, I realize: we don't need him anymore. And we need to make sure people know that. Two years later, I can finally tell this story in the detail I've wanted to tell it for not just us here, but for everybody else out there so they can stay away from him.

The tl;dr version:

I dated Dashner and tried to stick it out with him, only realized our relationship was not normal after I left him. He treated me like shit including manipulation/sexual coercion/rape under stealthing/verbal abuse/emotional abuse/gaslighting/lovebombing, I thought I needed to keep quiet about it for TF2 LANs to keep going, and I didn’t name drop him because I thought I needed to protect the safety of my friends and family. I told people who knew to stay quiet about it for the same reasons.

Now he’s gone and done these shit things again to Console, who was afraid to speak up because he didn’t want to jeopardize TF2 and was afraid of Dashner. I made a mistake, many of us in the TF2 scene made a mistake, and we not only need to call out Dashner, but we need to stop prioritizing TF2 over hiding these terrible people because we were wrong; this hurts the community more than it helps it. Dashner is sick in the head and needs help, and hopefully he can become a better person but for now, he needs to stay away from this scene.

TF2 LANs where Dashner's abuse of position or influence stretched to:

  • Insomnia55 TF2, 2015: Dashner was the lead director of the show. Dashner apparently didn't want to go because I told him I was dating somebody else. I told him he needed to and I was not as important as him, I could stay home. He said he was probably going anyway. We both went to i55 in the end. Constantly shot angry looks towards me and my partner at the time from the production desk. Said the show had disrespectful volunteers who forced him, the lead director, to make last minute changes to his plans for the show.

  • Insomnia58 TF2, 2016: Dashner gets turned around at the border*. The assistant director becomes his replacement, Essentials.TF puts their branding on the show. Dashner sends constant messages of how things are supposed to be done angrily to the production during the show and deems it a failure without him. Dashner begins to resent the iSeries and TF2 as a whole because i58 was meant to be his last show. He holds me going to i58 for the rest of our relationship, and i58 in general against many people due to his trauma. Additionally complains about how his replacement director was incompetent behind their back, and becomes spiteful when said director is initially is hired for Rewind 2017 before choosing to step down.

  • DreamHack Winter 2016: Essentials.TF is hosting the LAN which is being streamed on Teamfortress.tv. Dashner changes the stream key out of spite and threatens to change the password to the account too if I tell one of the LAN organizers at the event. I threaten to go public about it to make him stop. Eventually after a heated fight and both of us apologizing to each other, Dashner gives the LAN organizers the new stream key. Still continued to believe that OW was the way to go instead of TF2 and told me and others constantly they were idiots and naive for staying in TF2, despite how he always came back to wanting to do TF2.

  • Insomnia61 TF2, 2017: Essentials.TF is producing LAN again. When I expressed wanting to go to i61 myself, Dashner says that he wasn't going to do what he did for i58 again. It was either both of us go, or we don't go at all. He couldn't bear to go through what he went through for i58. I tell him this is selfish. He apologizes later, but asks if I understand where he's coming from due to the trauma of i58. We don't go to i61. I choose not to go, but for other reasons that were my own, primarily finances. The relationship continues to deteriorate, and I end things with Dashner before i61.

  • Episode III TF2, 2019: Dashner is part of the lead production, despite writing a statement about his alcoholism prior to this event that stated he will remove his involvement from the TF2 scene. I chose not to volunteer due to his involvement. The venue apparently has lied to the TF2 organizational side about their venue's PC capabilities and reveals late that it is a cloud-based gaming experience. They try to find a new venue, and cannot within reasonable time. Episode III is cancelled.

  • BTSTF2, 2019: Dashner is part of lead production. I am told that I was not contacted about volunteering yet because they didn't want any trouble since Dashner's part of it, and ask me to think long and hard about if I want to be involved. After thinking about it, I respond that I will not be part of it and refuse to work with him due to the abuse he inflicted on me, as well as how abusive he is towards volunteers under him. I'm told I'm understood completely, and that it's likely I won't see him until the afterparty.

It is revealed that Dashner has been warned about how somebody who knew about my abuse from him might speak up publicly about it. Afterwards Console, who is also volunteering for BTSTF2 alongside Dashner, reports his sexual harassment from Dashner to BTS staff. He is asked to step down, while Dashner steps down first and runs away from producing the LAN. The banning debacle happens where it is revealed a recently called out predator was being defended by Dashner and was not banned from LAN. BTSTF2 is cancelled.

*EDIT: Tagg didn't cover this in his post in Console's thread, but Dashner was turned around at the UK border despite doing free volunteer stuff, even for charity, because that in the UK counts as work. In the US, the laws are different since we were also stopped for TotH2015, but they let us through when we said we were volunteering for a non-profit charity.

posted about 4 years ago
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