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Signed Up August 7, 2014
Last Posted July 18, 2020 at 5:34 PM
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#239 yomps has passed away. in TF2 General Discussion

Still one of my favourite plays. God fucking bless you. Fly high.

posted about a year ago
#87 yomps has passed away. in TF2 General Discussion

Any questions about cause of death, or speculation of death, will be met with a ban here on out. Have some respect for yomps' friends & family, please. This is the only warning I will give and I imagine everybody who has mod powers who still lurks this hellsite will follow my lead.

It seemed like yesterday I was clipping your big brain plays like standing on somebody's head on Snake last, lamenting with Wyatt over how you left Ascent to join froyotech, or watching you grin and nod along to Bren and Sideshow's UK football jeers in rhythm at Rewind II. We didn't know each other beyond association with Ascent and some photos I took of you at LANs, but thank you for what you gave to us and your friends & family.

I hope they'll be well and I hope you find peace.

posted about a year ago
#34 Message in a Bottle in TF2 General Discussion

Bumping this again after the announcement of i67, which means this'll be the first year in a long time that there will be no TF2-focused LANs. I'll start:

It's been a long time since I've wanted to talk to you after what happened then, but it hurt way too much knowing whose side you took during that era. I don't know why you did what you did when I trusted you fully with information and you let that information pass on to the people who hurt me most. I don't know if you've come to terms with your complicity during that time, but regardless, it hurt me in a way I have not come to terms with. I'm sorry if I hurt your friend, I'm sorry if I hurt you, and I'm sorry that something you put your heart and soul into was destroyed just like that - imagine how much it hurts for me, especially after some names involved in it were revealed to be just as bad as a man we once both cared about. I'm still hurting to this day for what you did.

However, I know your life has not been easy either since. You are incredibly talented and you seem like a good person deep down. I don't want to see your actions as something that defines who you actually are. I was going to address this next time I saw you, but that's gonna be a while at this point, isn't it? I lost a lot during then, and I consider you part of what I lost. I just hope you're doing well, your family & friends are doing well, and I am still waiting for us to talk about it once you're ready; maybe I can find you again. Take care. Have fun with your streams!

posted about a year ago
#3 Fully Charged! Episode 47 - Promod Edition in Events


posted about 2 years ago
#19 TF2 update for 5/1/20 in TF2 General Discussion


Robin Atkin Downes also included a brief but somber in-character tribute to Rick May in his most recent video that he uploaded for his fans, where he reprises Kaz from MGS reaching out to Snake in hard times to show him a video of Medic from TF2 demonstrating how to (not) wash hands during the COVID-19 pandemic.

I really appreciate the effort they've put into Rick's memorialization such as the bronze statues as well as the Taps rendition on the menu screen but it does suck that the statues are intrusive for gameplay, putting them in spawn probably would have been the best way to go about this.

posted about 2 years ago
#12 TF2 voice actor Rick May passes away at 79 in News


Thank you for your contributions to this world. Godspeed, you magnificent bastard.
May you rest in peace, and may your family & friends be well during these trying times.

posted about 2 years ago
#1 Message in a Bottle in TF2 General Discussion


It's been hard for me for the past few months, but I imagine it's been hard for a lot of people lately. I imagine wanting to see teammates or friends again that you haven't seen in a while cuts deeper now than ever. This weekend was supposed to be Copenhagen Games for Europe; last month, it would have been RGL Playoffs for North America, and at the beginning of this year, it would have been BTSTF2.

For this thread, write a small message towards an anonymous somebody of your choice you met through TF2 (or elsewhere, if you'd prefer) that you miss right now, or that you might not have talked to in a while. That lives in another country or even another content, that might be active or might have moved on. That you were on a team with then, that you're in Mumble or Discord with now.

The game is not claiming a message here or calling it out publicly within the thread - instead, see if you want to reach out to the person who wrote it, or indulge in it knowing it's for you and that you are being thought about. Maybe write back anonymously as well. Positive messages are recommended, but if you need to vent or if you wish something could change, you may write about that.

Similar to the TFTV safe space thread, please don't harass each other or be unnecessarily spiteful. You can write as little as you need, as much as you'd like, but try to respect each other and not call out whom a message is written to here, write anything deliberately slanderous or overtly specific, or have condescending back-and-forths.


While I've been trying to stay away from TFTV for personal reasons, I wanted to offer some form of comfort for people or old friends who are going through trying times at the moment - who miss friends or teammates they would normally meet up with again at LAN, and are uncertain about when or if they'll see them again.

For now - breathe, and rest. Call each other and laugh. Stay safe, stay indoors, and wash your hands.

posted about 2 years ago
#39 AMA with enigma in Events

Favourite boba flavours?

posted about 2 years ago
#8 MAJOR TF2 update for 12/16/19 (Smissmas 2019) in TF2 General Discussion

You're welcome

Also I'm gonna need this penguin literally right now



posted about 2 years ago
#6 MAJOR TF2 update for 12/16/19 (Smissmas 2019) in TF2 General Discussion
ratawarWhat was that page where I could see the latest items added to the game?

Trade.tf Items Update
TF2 Workshop Recently Accepted

posted about 2 years ago
#15 Now that the cat's out of the bag in TF2 General Discussion
highfiveNo offense to uberchain who I'm sure worked super hard on itunravno offense to the people that make them, butdrshdwpuppetI have mad respect for (now most of) the people who worked on it, but highfiveIf someone else is going to try and make a tf2 doc, make it ABOUT tf2


For the record: everything you guys have said is probably valid, and I encourage people who liked and disliked it to give feedback even now (and if my concept was stupid too). In terms of not meaning to offend me: doesn't make it hurt for me any less.

I will add that ignoring the shit Dashner's done, I do appreciate the work he, Loris, Shounic, and others put into the film, and I do think their product was good for what they wanted, but the message might not have been conveyed well. I did bring up that concern but it wasn't listened to by Dashner, who was dead set on his direction. I hate that now so many things I've worked on are now tainted by how I thought while I was still his partner, I was convinced I was making a nice emotional thing for TF2 but I do recognize how it could be interpreted as destructive rather than somber.

posted about 2 years ago
#13 Me, Dashner, and TF2 in TF2 General Discussion
-protoyou're both from Ontario right? contact the OPP. bring up consoles story as well. he/she can be questioned by US police and info will be exchanged across the border.

I'm from Alberta. The act detailed here happened within YRP jurisdiction. When Console was pressing charges I wanted to try seeing if there might be hope revisiting the idea of pressing charges, and was planning visiting my local crisis center for more legal counsel, but I'm unaware of how much they'll know about jurisdiction outside of my province, especially for a situation like mine. Additionally, Console's legal proceedings seemed to be going nowhere. It could be different since I'm Canadian, but the rape kit test in the standard reporting procedure will not help me here.

posted about 2 years ago
#1 Me, Dashner, and TF2 in TF2 General Discussion


If you have not read Console's statement about Dashner yet, please read it first. You can find Console's thread here: https://tf.gg/54265/

TRIGGER WARNINGS: verbal & emotional abuse, gaslighting, sexual abuse, rape, mentions of suicide

Around 2018, I made a Twitter post about the harassment I experienced in the Team Fortress 2 community from people who have tried to take advantage of me and abused me. But I never dropped any names. In particular, I've held back this man's name for 2 years, thinking we needed him so the small, competitive esports scene we built within TF2 could keep going.

Now, after realizing he's gone and hurt somebody else, I realize: we don't need him anymore. And we need to make sure people know that. Two years later, I can finally tell this story in the detail I've wanted to tell it for not just us here, but for everybody else out there so they can stay away from him.

The tl;dr version:

I dated Dashner and tried to stick it out with him, only realized our relationship was not normal after I left him. He treated me like shit including manipulation/sexual coercion/rape under stealthing/verbal abuse/emotional abuse/gaslighting/lovebombing, I thought I needed to keep quiet about it for TF2 LANs to keep going, and I didn’t name drop him because I thought I needed to protect the safety of my friends and family. I told people who knew to stay quiet about it for the same reasons.

Now he’s gone and done these shit things again to Console, who was afraid to speak up because he didn’t want to jeopardize TF2 and was afraid of Dashner. I made a mistake, many of us in the TF2 scene made a mistake, and we not only need to call out Dashner, but we need to stop prioritizing TF2 over hiding these terrible people because we were wrong; this hurts the community more than it helps it. Dashner is sick in the head and needs help, and hopefully he can become a better person but for now, he needs to stay away from this scene.

TF2 LANs where Dashner's abuse of position or influence stretched to:

  • Insomnia55 TF2, 2015: Dashner was the lead director of the show. Dashner apparently didn't want to go because I told him I was dating somebody else. I told him he needed to and I was not as important as him, I could stay home. He said he was probably going anyway. We both went to i55 in the end. Constantly shot angry looks towards me and my partner at the time from the production desk. Said the show had disrespectful volunteers who forced him, the lead director, to make last minute changes to his plans for the show.

  • Insomnia58 TF2, 2016: Dashner gets turned around at the border*. The assistant director becomes his replacement, Essentials.TF puts their branding on the show. Dashner sends constant messages of how things are supposed to be done angrily to the production during the show and deems it a failure without him. Dashner begins to resent the iSeries and TF2 as a whole because i58 was meant to be his last show. He holds me going to i58 for the rest of our relationship, and i58 in general against many people due to his trauma. Additionally complains about how his replacement director was incompetent behind their back, and becomes spiteful when said director is initially is hired for Rewind 2017 before choosing to step down.

  • DreamHack Winter 2016: Essentials.TF is hosting the LAN which is being streamed on Teamfortress.tv. Dashner changes the stream key out of spite and threatens to change the password to the account too if I tell one of the LAN organizers at the event. I threaten to go public about it to make him stop. Eventually after a heated fight and both of us apologizing to each other, Dashner gives the LAN organizers the new stream key. Still continued to believe that OW was the way to go instead of TF2 and told me and others constantly they were idiots and naive for staying in TF2, despite how he always came back to wanting to do TF2.

  • Insomnia61 TF2, 2017: Essentials.TF is producing LAN again. When I expressed wanting to go to i61 myself, Dashner says that he wasn't going to do what he did for i58 again. It was either both of us go, or we don't go at all. He couldn't bear to go through what he went through for i58. I tell him this is selfish. He apologizes later, but asks if I understand where he's coming from due to the trauma of i58. We don't go to i61. I choose not to go, but for other reasons that were my own, primarily finances. The relationship continues to deteriorate, and I end things with Dashner before i61.

  • Episode III TF2, 2019: Dashner is part of the lead production, despite writing a statement about his alcoholism prior to this event that stated he will remove his involvement from the TF2 scene. I chose not to volunteer due to his involvement. The venue apparently has lied to the TF2 organizational side about their venue's PC capabilities and reveals late that it is a cloud-based gaming experience. They try to find a new venue, and cannot within reasonable time. Episode III is cancelled.

  • BTSTF2, 2019: Dashner is part of lead production. I am told that I was not contacted about volunteering yet because they didn't want any trouble since Dashner's part of it, and ask me to think long and hard about if I want to be involved. After thinking about it, I respond that I will not be part of it and refuse to work with him due to the abuse he inflicted on me, as well as how abusive he is towards volunteers under him. I'm told I'm understood completely, and that it's likely I won't see him until the afterparty.

It is revealed that Dashner has been warned about how somebody who knew about my abuse from him might speak up publicly about it. Afterwards Console, who is also volunteering for BTSTF2 alongside Dashner, reports his sexual harassment from Dashner to BTS staff. He is asked to step down, while Dashner steps down first and runs away from producing the LAN. The banning debacle happens where it is revealed a recently called out predator was being defended by Dashner and was not banned from LAN. BTSTF2 is cancelled.

*EDIT: Tagg didn't cover this in his post in Console's thread, but Dashner was turned around at the UK border despite doing free volunteer stuff, even for charity, because that in the UK counts as work. In the US, the laws are different since we were also stopped for TotH2015, but they let us through when we said we were volunteering for a non-profit charity.

posted about 2 years ago
#191 My Story With Dashner: A Thread in TF2 General Discussion

Also I was also saving this for the expansion DLC/not to get booted from the TFTV Slack but fuck it.

DreamHack Winter 2016: Battle of the North, hosted by Essentials.TF, streamed on TFTV, post-i58. Still dating.

sops"Guy's I've seen dashner being a total prick and abusive towards members of the staff, this isn't right, anybody else noticed that? What can we do?"







I ended up threatening to leave him, he apologized and said he was sorry, and then I apologized to him for being a terrible person to him, overreacting to him changing the stream key, and we forgave and forgot.

I wish I hadn't. I wish I had done it there and then. I'm sorry I backed out.

At this point, Overwatch had been picking up TF2 players and I was convinced TF2 wasn't really worth staying in because he said we couldn't stay here, but I didn't want a stream compromised because of a grudge. This is probably what he cites when he tells our friends that I threatened and tried to smear him and kill his career. So, I'll show that side of me to you then, if it means showing you this side of him.

posted about 2 years ago
#189 My Story With Dashner: A Thread in TF2 General Discussion
FuxxIdeally by the police, through evidence, through the instruments of a nation's Law

Alright look I was going to save this for my expansion DLC of "how dashner fucked me up and why I'm repeating myself on why people like me and our friends let him get away with these atrocities when we shouldn't have" and I'm probably literally repeating what people have already said that you know too but you haven't listened to, but here's The Classic Uberchain Nerd Essay™ of what happened back when (and why) Pregugate 2018 (and disheartened, well-meaning upset Czech lads who want to beat the shit out of Dashner, nonces, and predators) got met with the response it did and I feel like this is important for others to hear too even if it's disheartening

GetawhaleLast time, after the uberchain thread, he came to me in PM saying he was going to be pursuing legal action against her

So, this is not the first time I am hearing about this. Somebody else approached me around the same time telling me "Dashner messaged me saying this wasn't true, he said he was going to reach out to a lawyer about this, and then at some point he deleted all his messages to me about the matter".

I did not have money during that time to be sued with a libel and defamation lawsuit, which in Canada last time I checked, is easier to sue for than in the United States. This man raped me, sexually coerced me, manipulated and gaslit me, and he still had the audacity to see if he could push legal action against me for fucking libel, which is why I basically never dropped his name publicly and tried to resort to private resolution. Is he likely to win? I have no clue (answer is probably no, maybe it's a stronger case now that I have name-dropped him even though what I'm saying is true), but I was not ready to deal with that financially or mentally. He also knows where I live and some of the names of my family members, so in the worst case situation, I wondered if he might blackmail me (he has blackmailed Console in the esports industry for Christ's sake, WHILE DATING HIM) or my family.

I've got logs of him, but since they are written logs and not recorded on audio (where sometimes in various places, there are laws that make recordings invalid due to consent), there's a good chance it can be met with the "lol I didn't type that somebody else like my mom or my cat in the house did" defense. Additionally, how he raped me might not even be considered rape in his jurisdiction. I was 100% on board for Console to push his case legally and brush up on my own legalese and hit up a local crisis center to help me out on it because maybe by 2019 his province's laws would be clearer on what I can and can't do, but after Console confirmed this:

Console-I have reached out to the police (my cousin is a state trooper who has worked the past 20 years solely on domestic abuse cases) and unfortunately because it is a he said/he said and it is across country borders there's not much that can be done

I basically was back to square one of realizing the statistical 6% will probably work against me. Console has an answer for the people who went BU-BUT POLIS??? PROPER AUTHORITIES??? WRONG WAY OF DOING THIS!!! to me. It's not that fucking simple. I know people want it to be because that's how it should work, but it isn't.

Then, there was Console himself.

When Console, still very much in love with Dashner, told me at i65 he thought Dashner was getting better, and apologized on behalf of Dashner: I realized there was nothing I could tell him that wouldn't make him defensive and think I was in the wrong. Dashner still had him. I could tell because I saw myself when I was dating Alex: the troubled and struggling alcoholic who just wanted to make a difference, that I constantly had to apologize for and said I had faith in him that he would be able to become a better person. Not the man who was a monster.

Could I have prevented it with an earlier warning - with how much I've heard Dashner apparently convincingly lie about me and other people? Regardless of if I answer yes or no to this: he fooled so many of our mutual friends, my past partners, my current partners, and this community. He fooled me. Tagg warned me, family warned me, friends warned me. And I didn't listen.

That's the worst part: love for your lover and/or friend. It blinds you to reason and logic, and sometimes it takes ages for what other people, even your closest friends or family, warn you about to make you realize that you've been wrong about the person you're involved with all along. And then, the worst part is when people decide to tell you "I told you so" to your face at your lowest point. As if we didn't feel stupid or like it was our fault already. And the cycle begins.

You probably want the same thing we all do: for victims to be listened to and to be encouraged to speak up. Me and Console agreed that we needed to do so after realizing he hasn't changed since he did it to me, and there will probably be others (and there has been). What you fail to realize (and people have already told you this and said this in this very thread) is that "we need to find a good solution that works" "support and believe the victims" is so insulting and stirs a reaction from people is because, after everybody has stated specific examples of WHY this never works out all the time, it oversimplifies the extent of how complicated, psychologically and systematically difficult it is to listen to victims; due to victim-blaming, doubt of a victim's account, or what you're doing: prioritizing the abuser rather than helping the abuser's current victims first.

You might think this isn't what you're doing and you probably didn't intend for it to come off that way, because of course just like everybody else, you want this monster stopped. But in calling current victims cowards and a part of the problem - which they absolutely end up agreeing with in their guilt and wonder if they should have ended up sacrificing their safety or reputation for somebody who might not even believe them - you drastically oversimplify the situation to the point of offensiveness, even with good intentions. And you end up accidentally - despite your end goal being the same as everybody else's - contributing to victims not wanting to speak up. We are not just afraid of our abusers or the people who will call us liars. We are afraid of people like you.

Also idk if you were being serious about this but:

Fuxxwe need to respect and support anyone who comes out to their fullest extent and give a good old asskicking to anyone who doesn't

This has a higher chance to absolutely get you sued and even jailed even if you have a very good reason to do it. This is why sometimes robbers who get the shit beaten out of them for robbing dudes can sue you for assault.

posted about 2 years ago
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