FuxxPerhaps the apparent insensibility is why this is getting downfragged but tbh this is likely the truth. People turn blind eyes to shit all the time to "avoid drama", sometimes even going as far as covering up for them. There are different degrees of severity, but it's unquestionable that all of these are bad moves. Inaction is not a virtue, quite the contrary. People are getting abused, it's time to hold your peers to higher standards. If you don't then you're a fucking coward.
the thing is it's harder than that because these situations can be so different.
you can make the argument either way but frankly if you're told something in confidence then if it comes out then that's a serious breach of trust and what you're doing may later save a victim, or it may not - but you're causing direct harm to the current victim, who may be dealing with it in their own way. Outing them as a victim can be really highly damaging because when this kind of thing happens your sense of self can be really knocked, and having everyone know can be further trauma. It's not the same for everyone but taking the reigns from the victim is highly disrespectful in my opinion.
then on the flip side you have that if it's a rumour of who the aggressor was, but you don't have it from the horses mouth, that's just hearsay and the rumours can often be completely different to whats happened, especially in a case where someone may have more influence and may be spreading a completely different version. in real life I knew someone who was spiked and assaulted and a popular person spread that some guy had been seen in the room, and it was a long time before anyone discovered the reality was that it was one of the popular persons friends all along and some innocent person took the flak for years.
inaction might not be a virtue, but is it a virtue to bring something to attention and cause new kinds of damages and potentially not even help in any way? The problem is these situations are really complex and there is no one flowchart or set of rules that you can follow in order to act in the right way.
what we can all do with 100% certainty is be as supportive as we can and make sure our minds are open when someone actually does come out with this kind of thing. the rumour mill has something going on, as tob wrote about, and it's heartbreaking and gross that it's being/been brushed away due to a lack of support.
People are being abused, it's becoming an issue that warrants higher scrutiny. It's time the community takes a hard look at itself and realizes how shameful this situation is. You have pedophiles and rapists in the higher echelons of the community and if that doesn't scream problematic then maybe you need to re-evaluate your priorities. The solution is exposure, even if the victim would disagree with that. The solution is ostracization. The people doing these things are respected members who others deposit trust into. If these people were robbed from their respect then this problem would be mitigated. It is your view that is flawed, because in your efforts to respect one victim or avoid drama, another person gets victimized. You need the drama, you need the cleanse. Furthermore, Tagg himself admitted that he feels somewhat responsible because he knew what kind of a person Dashner was and instead of taking the moral stand he took the bystander effect. Everyone in that position ought to feel shame for their inaction. It was not they who committed the crime, but they failed to uphold a moral duty. That is telling and I'm sure this will ruffle the feathers of a lot of people, but some uncomfortable truths have to be told. This systematic protectionism is responsible, at least indirectly, for abuse.
it's incredibly easy to take this standpoint when it's not you or your friends who'll be affected by information coming out
it takes a lot of trust to tell anyone about this sort of thing. breaking promises you make to someone about something so personal and going public is a great way to make sure no one ever speaks up
yes you have a moral duty to make sure more people don't get hurt but you also have a moral duty to not hurt your friend already in a fragile state. it's up to the victim to speak up