Doesn't this apply to playing a PUG anywhere? What alleviates your anxieties? Especially when many servers including the ones you mentioned have rules against excessive toxicity?
"Doesn't this apply to playing a PUG anywhere?"
the only place I feel comfortable in is tf2pugs.com because I joined up and had a lot of fun and didn't get chastised for being bad at my job as a medic, there are times where it happens but it's not a lot, I will say this is mostly the norm when it comes to new players in the comp scene or just wanting to try out, they get intimated that they HAVE to play the meta or else they get bullied for it, or they HAVE to do the job right or else again they get bullied for it and you don't know if you can do the job right cause you might not even know if you are doing it right or just don't know how the fundamentals of comp TF2 works. (I haven't joined tf2cc or newbie mixes but considered, but rather play pugs than wait till Friday to play, I wanna play now.) On top of that you don't know the players or their playstyle or how they are gonna react when you are playing their pugs. What I'm mostly saying is that if puggers just Don't get upset at players but instead teach them a thing or two or just say nice try, that'll be nice, but this is the internet and time is money, they want to win 8/10 times.
"What alleviates your anxieties?"
I have to live and learn, take as the match comes or just have fun just playing the game and not stress about your role, focus on the objective and if you lose? it's just a game, that's my mentality.
"Especially when many servers including the ones you mentioned have rules against excessive toxicity?"
I feel like that's the truth but from my experience, standing idly by and spectating live pugs or livestreams on pugs on twitch, it either ends with a "gg" or just someone being a dickhead and pausing the match consistently to ruin everyone's night because they died a fair amount of times (which I have seen before and it was stupid, that happened on RGL's open pug servers).