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Vent your anger
posted in Off Topic
751
#751
7 Frags +

I hate how I come back from 3ish years of no tf2 and I'm still treated like toxic 13 year old atidere. I get it I kinda made my rep as a toxic little shit and I don't disagree that I should've been disrespected like I was but like I'm 18 now and I'm completely different :x. Shits really annoying and I try and be nice to everyone now but some people are so toxic and it makes me now understand how annoying I used to be.

I hate how I come back from 3ish years of no tf2 and I'm still treated like toxic 13 year old atidere. I get it I kinda made my rep as a toxic little shit and I don't disagree that I should've been disrespected like I was but like I'm 18 now and I'm completely different :x. Shits really annoying and I try and be nice to everyone now but some people are so toxic and it makes me now understand how annoying I used to be.
752
#752
8 Frags +
atidereI hate how I come back from 3ish years of no tf2 and I'm still treated like toxic 13 year old atidere. I get it I kinda made my rep as a toxic little shit and I don't disagree that I should've been disrespected like I was but like I'm 18 now and I'm completely different :x. Shits really annoying and I try and be nice to everyone now but some people are so toxic and it makes me now understand how annoying I used to be.

i'm sure you're a good dude and i'm sorry to hear you're having this hard time

but unfortunately there are consequences to being a toxic dickhead. it's one of those things where you don't realize there's a downside until it's too late.

maybe you can talk some sense into some kids with your cautionary tale? they'll probably listen since you're still fairly young

[quote=atidere]I hate how I come back from 3ish years of no tf2 and I'm still treated like toxic 13 year old atidere. I get it I kinda made my rep as a toxic little shit and I don't disagree that I should've been disrespected like I was but like I'm 18 now and I'm completely different :x. Shits really annoying and I try and be nice to everyone now but some people are so toxic and it makes me now understand how annoying I used to be.[/quote]

i'm sure you're a good dude and i'm sorry to hear you're having this hard time

but unfortunately there are consequences to being a toxic dickhead. it's one of those things where you don't realize there's a downside until it's too late.

maybe you can talk some sense into some kids with your cautionary tale? they'll probably listen since you're still fairly young
753
#753
-18 Frags +

My social life doesn't exist and its solely because I am not 21.

My social life doesn't exist and its solely because I am not 21.
754
#754
2 Frags +

Fuck Hanzo

And fuck RED picking 5 engineers

Fuck Hanzo

And fuck RED picking 5 engineers
755
#755
5 Frags +

I hate people who preach to others how to not act and how much they hate people who exhibit said behavior, and then they go and treat others like shit even when they go on 15 tangents a day on this topic. I had the displeasure of being surrounded by a person like this for ~year and then they received the same toxic, manipulative behavior and they broke down afterwards and came to me for comfort. Like what the fuck no, you can't just use me when it's just going to be for a set amount of time and then completely blow over my feelings later

I hate people who preach to others how to not act and how much they hate people who exhibit said behavior, and then they go and treat others like shit even when they go on 15 tangents a day on this topic. I had the displeasure of being surrounded by a person like this for ~year and then they received the same toxic, manipulative behavior and they broke down afterwards and came to me for comfort. Like what the fuck no, you can't just use me when it's just going to be for a set amount of time and then completely blow over my feelings later
756
#756
0 Frags +

I'm fairly certain I'm .06 points from bumping up one of my letter grades in a class and the class is done with meeting for the semester. I've never felt so angry and disappointed at the same time before

I'm also incredibly conflicted on some instructions that have been given for a paper that I need to write. The syllabus says to use APA format (double spaced, 12 point font), but also says to use 11 point font. And what's even better: we haven't been informed whether or not we need to submit it online or bring a hard copy to lecture tomorrow, so that's just a fantastic thing that I'm having to deal with

I also look like a homeless person that hasn't shaved or gotten a sound nights sleep in a few weeks and haven't bothered to set time aside to shave and take care of myself. Meanwhile deadlines and opportunities for things are passing by and I'm not able to find the time or energy to do things that I want to do.

I'm fairly certain I'm .06 points from bumping up one of my letter grades in a class and the class is done with meeting for the semester. I've never felt so angry and disappointed at the same time before

I'm also incredibly conflicted on some instructions that have been given for a paper that I need to write. The syllabus says to use APA format (double spaced, 12 point font), but also says to use 11 point font. And what's even better: we haven't been informed whether or not we need to submit it online or bring a hard copy to lecture tomorrow, so that's just a fantastic thing that I'm having to deal with

I also look like a homeless person that hasn't shaved or gotten a sound nights sleep in a few weeks and haven't bothered to set time aside to shave and take care of myself. Meanwhile deadlines and opportunities for things are passing by and I'm not able to find the time or energy to do things that I want to do.
757
#757
13 Frags +

some of my friends are in town for Christmas apparently
I say apparently because two nights in a row I've gotten Snapchats of all of them hanging out somewhere that I wasn't invited to.
I've been really self conscious lately about how i don't get out more and stuff like this makes me feel like shit. maybe they didn't think we were as close as I did.

some of my friends are in town for Christmas apparently
I say apparently because two nights in a row I've gotten Snapchats of all of them hanging out somewhere that I wasn't invited to.
I've been really self conscious lately about how i don't get out more and stuff like this makes me feel like shit. maybe they didn't think we were as close as I did.
758
#758
0 Frags +

EDGAR MARTINEZ DIDNT GET INTO THE HALL OF FAME

AND TREVOR HOFFMAN DID

WTF

EDGAR MARTINEZ DIDNT GET INTO THE HALL OF FAME

AND TREVOR HOFFMAN DID

WTF
759
#759
9 Frags +

man it bugs me that a large chunk of the tf community is only into trading or mods like jailbreak/saxton hale/death run like i get it they're silly and fun but theres a whole nother masterpiece of a game buried underneath all that garbage that u are missing out on

man it bugs me that a large chunk of the tf community is only into trading or mods like jailbreak/saxton hale/death run like i get it they're silly and fun but theres a whole nother masterpiece of a game buried underneath all that garbage that u are missing out on
760
#760
1 Frags +

i will probs never be as good as the players i look up to which sucks.

i will probs never be as good as the players i look up to which sucks.
761
#761
3 Frags +
-waxman it bugs me that a large chunk of the tf community is only into trading or mods like jailbreak/saxton hale/death run like i get it they're silly and fun but theres a whole nother masterpiece of a game buried underneath all that garbage that u are missing out on

prophunt is dumb lit at night

[quote=-wax]man it bugs me that a large chunk of the tf community is only into trading or mods like jailbreak/saxton hale/death run like i get it they're silly and fun but theres a whole nother masterpiece of a game buried underneath all that garbage that u are missing out on[/quote]

prophunt is dumb lit at night
762
#762
2 Frags +

when hoplitejoe doesnt show up to scrims because he is a responsible adult and has a job to earn some currency, man what a bother

when hoplitejoe doesnt show up to scrims because he is a responsible adult and has a job to earn some currency, man what a bother
763
#763
1 Frags +
telephone_fani will probs never be as good as the players i look up to which sucks.

You learn to accept it eventually. Don’t let that stop you from grinding though. Challenging yourself makes this game infinitely more fun, but comparing yourself to someone else usually doesn’t end well.

[quote=telephone_fan]i will probs never be as good as the players i look up to which sucks.[/quote]

You learn to accept it eventually. Don’t let that stop you from grinding though. Challenging yourself makes this game infinitely more fun, but comparing yourself to someone else usually doesn’t end well.
764
#764
1 Frags +

Getting repeatedly dropped by your med and no body does anything about it :/, especially when its product and its a kritz charge.

Getting repeatedly dropped by your med and no body does anything about it :/, especially when its product and its a kritz charge.
765
#765
8 Frags +

I hate that I broke my hands playing this game and melee and have almost nothing to show for it. I'm 19 and I'm probably going to be in constant pain for the rest of my life

it's been 9 months. I've been to the doctors, I've been to physical therapists, and it still feels like I'm barely gaining any sort of ground. A couple days ago was the first time I launched this game that I love so much in those nine months. having absolutely no way to release my Stress and Anxiety turned me into a complete neurotic wreck, someone who gets so tense that they have convulsions whenever they get a panic attack.

I hate who I've become. I lash out at friends, I get irritated by the tiniest things, I'm a completely different person. and the worst part is I can feel parts of the old me come out every now and then, Parts I enjoy, but whatever I have fun there's always that lingering doubt and worry in the background about how it will affect my hands, if I wake up hurting and defeated the next day...

I had to withdraw from University because of it. I just paid off the tuition that resulted from that withdrawal a couple days ago, the day before the semester started. And I'm not ready to go back to working with them this semester. I don't know what to do

let's not even mention my family, my dad thinks my doctors are lying to me

I'm honestly surprised I'm not suicidal at this point. I feel like most people probably would have just given up by now. I just want to enjoy things in life again without constantly worrying about how it'll affect my hands

I hate that I broke my hands playing this game and melee and have almost nothing to show for it. I'm 19 and I'm probably going to be in constant pain for the rest of my life

it's been 9 months. I've been to the doctors, I've been to physical therapists, and it still feels like I'm barely gaining any sort of ground. A couple days ago was the first time I launched this game that I love so much in those nine months. having absolutely no way to release my Stress and Anxiety turned me into a complete neurotic wreck, someone who gets so tense that they have convulsions whenever they get a panic attack.

I hate who I've become. I lash out at friends, I get irritated by the tiniest things, I'm a completely different person. and the worst part is I can feel parts of the old me come out every now and then, Parts I enjoy, but whatever I have fun there's always that lingering doubt and worry in the background about how it will affect my hands, if I wake up hurting and defeated the next day...

I had to withdraw from University because of it. I just paid off the tuition that resulted from that withdrawal a couple days ago, the day before the semester started. And I'm not ready to go back to working with them this semester. I don't know what to do

let's not even mention my family, my dad thinks my doctors are lying to me

I'm honestly surprised I'm not suicidal at this point. I feel like most people probably would have just given up by now. I just want to enjoy things in life again without constantly worrying about how it'll affect my hands
766
#766
12 Frags +

also finding some shit head disrespecting a dead teammate of mine is pretty fucking anger inducing as well

https://i.imgur.com/jg1vUci.png

https://i.imgur.com/nD3y9EV.png

also finding some shit head disrespecting a dead teammate of mine is pretty fucking anger inducing as well

[img]https://i.imgur.com/jg1vUci.png[/img]
[img]https://i.imgur.com/nD3y9EV.png[/img]
767
#767
5 Frags +

im so jealous of overwatch's matchmaking system. tf2's comp is so good but i fucking hate that i cant just launch my game and play it officially. I've been waiting years for the dev team to implement something functional but it feels like they don't even see this game as anything more than a money making fashion simulator.

im so jealous of overwatch's matchmaking system. tf2's comp is so good but i fucking hate that i cant just launch my game and play it officially. I've been waiting years for the dev team to implement something functional but it feels like they don't even see this game as anything more than a money making fashion simulator.
768
#768
4 Frags +
THEBILLDOZERsome of my friends are in town for Christmas apparently
I say apparently because two nights in a row I've gotten Snapchats of all of them hanging out somewhere that I wasn't invited to.
I've been really self conscious lately about how i don't get out more and stuff like this makes me feel like shit. maybe they didn't think we were as close as I did.

Bro this is kinda late but you need to ask them directly about shit like this. Either A) they just weren't thinking (I think a lot of people give away the impression that they dont like getting invites or hanging out too much without realising it) and they arent trying to exclude you or anythin, or B) They're arseholes who you're going to have to get over and find new friends.

[quote=THEBILLDOZER]some of my friends are in town for Christmas apparently
I say apparently because two nights in a row I've gotten Snapchats of all of them hanging out somewhere that I wasn't invited to.
I've been really self conscious lately about how i don't get out more and stuff like this makes me feel like shit. maybe they didn't think we were as close as I did.[/quote]
Bro this is kinda late but you need to ask them directly about shit like this. Either A) they just weren't thinking (I think a lot of people give away the impression that they dont like getting invites or hanging out too much without realising it) and they arent trying to exclude you or anythin, or B) They're arseholes who you're going to have to get over and find new friends.
769
#769
0 Frags +

Okay so for Valentines day I decided to buy my gf a copy of Michael Gira's new limited edition book "The Egg" (we're both very big Swans fans and she mentioned it's something she'd be interested in). Thing is when ordering her copy I decided to order one for myself as well. Thing is she made it a little too obvious when hinting at what she got me so I told her that I got her a copy of the book and she said she got me the same thing.

We're both still waiting for the books to arrive in the post but I'm very pissed because 1) I ruined the surprise for both of us and 2) All I needed to do was let her know that I got a copy of the book for myself without telling her I got her a copy so that she wouldn't end up getting me another copy. Now there's no fucking surprise for any of us and I don't even get to fucking appreciate her gift as much as I would have and it's fucking driving me crazy I feel like everything is fucking ruined.

Okay so for Valentines day I decided to buy my gf a copy of Michael Gira's new limited edition book "The Egg" (we're both very big Swans fans and she mentioned it's something she'd be interested in). Thing is when ordering her copy I decided to order one for myself as well. Thing is she made it a little too obvious when hinting at what she got me so I told her that I got her a copy of the book and she said she got me the same thing.

We're both still waiting for the books to arrive in the post but I'm very pissed because 1) I ruined the surprise for both of us and 2) All I needed to do was let her know that I got a copy of the book for myself without telling her I got her a copy so that she wouldn't end up getting me another copy. Now there's no fucking surprise for any of us and I don't even get to fucking appreciate her gift as much as I would have and it's fucking driving me crazy I feel like everything is fucking ruined.
770
#770
2 Frags +

I can't get the motivation to improve myself or find the strength to stop slipping and falling down but I don't know how to get myself help or how to save myself. it feels impossible to change myself.

I can't get the motivation to improve myself or find the strength to stop slipping and falling down but I don't know how to get myself help or how to save myself. it feels impossible to change myself.
771
#771
8 Frags +

I'm still mad that Atticus Finch lost the court case wtf

I'm still mad that Atticus Finch lost the court case wtf
772
#772
0 Frags +

i am mad muddyfugger is making me play granary on monday because he is going to win rewindlan

i am mad muddyfugger is making me play granary on monday because he is going to win rewindlan
773
#773
6 Frags +

i understand this is 'vent your anger' not 'emo out'

i feel like such a worthless player right now, i just can't seem to ever make anything happen when it matters. i'm just a scrim player. every time a match comes around i never show up in my life, and i'm just a low im player getting carried by the people around me who are paying attention and know how to win tf2. the wins i get feel meaningless because i feel like a net negative every step of the way. i demo review and practice my dm for literally hours a day and i'm so critical of myself but yet it just never translates to improvement. i feel awful about my gameplay and myself and i just wish i never bothered :/

i understand this is 'vent your anger' not 'emo out'

i feel like such a worthless player right now, i just can't seem to ever make anything happen when it matters. i'm just a scrim player. every time a match comes around i never show up in my life, and i'm just a low im player getting carried by the people around me who are paying attention and know how to win tf2. the wins i get feel meaningless because i feel like a net negative every step of the way. i demo review and practice my dm for literally hours a day and i'm so critical of myself but yet it just never translates to improvement. i feel awful about my gameplay and myself and i just wish i never bothered :/
774
#774
4 Frags +
unskilledi understand this is 'vent your anger' not 'emo out'

i feel like such a worthless player right now, i just can't seem to ever make anything happen when it matters. i'm just a scrim player. every time a match comes around i never show up in my life, and i'm just a low im player getting carried by the people around me who are paying attention and know how to win tf2. the wins i get feel meaningless because i feel like a net negative every step of the way. i demo review and practice my dm for literally hours a day and i'm so critical of myself but yet it just never translates to improvement. i feel awful about my gameplay and myself and i just wish i never bothered :/

me too

[quote=unskilled]i understand this is 'vent your anger' not 'emo out'

i feel like such a worthless player right now, i just can't seem to ever make anything happen when it matters. i'm just a scrim player. every time a match comes around i never show up in my life, and i'm just a low im player getting carried by the people around me who are paying attention and know how to win tf2. the wins i get feel meaningless because i feel like a net negative every step of the way. i demo review and practice my dm for literally hours a day and i'm so critical of myself but yet it just never translates to improvement. i feel awful about my gameplay and myself and i just wish i never bothered :/[/quote]


me too
775
#775
9 Frags +
unskilled:/

i used to be a turbo-emo mongo tilter scout main several years ago. the best thing I ever did was to learn how to relax. I know that sounds like a super broad and unhelpful thing to say, but hear me out.

i personally had issues with worrying way too much about what other people thought about my personal ability, and how i was perceived as a player. this would make me just completely check out if i thought that i had already beefed enough that it didn't really matter what i did at that point because my statline and shit were gonna be god awful, and anybody who looked at the log would be like 'whos this trashcan,' and for whatever reason that upset me. I would also constantly compare myself to other players and their performance, and was just a super shitty mindset to have.

all i really had to do was to just relax; only worry about what's in front of me, and what i'm going to be doing. if i did something like miss a shot or get dumpstered by another player, i just had to brush it off and move on. if i made a misplay or something, i would try to remember to not do that, and then move on.

"just dont worry about it" sounds like the dumbest shit you can say to someone, but sometimes that's honestly the best thing you can do.

i can't be 100% on whats going on with you specifically, but i guarantee you that if, during matches, you stop worrying about how you 'always beef in matches,' and just play the game like you would in scrims, you will do 100% better. (and assuming you scrim capable teams that are comparable to the teams you play in matches, and you also do well in scrims, you definitely have the ability to play well in matches. it's all mental)

[quote=unskilled]:/[/quote]

i used to be a turbo-emo mongo tilter scout main several years ago. the best thing I ever did was to learn how to relax. I know that sounds like a super broad and unhelpful thing to say, but hear me out.

i personally had issues with worrying way too much about what [i]other[/i] people thought about my personal ability, and how i was perceived as a player. this would make me just completely check out if i thought that i had already beefed enough that it didn't really matter what i did at that point because my statline and shit were gonna be god awful, and anybody who looked at the log would be like 'whos this trashcan,' and for whatever reason that upset me. I would also constantly compare myself to other players and their performance, and was just a super shitty mindset to have.

all i really had to do was to just relax; only worry about what's in front of me, and what i'm going to be doing. if i did something like miss a shot or get dumpstered by another player, i just had to brush it off and move on. if i made a misplay or something, i would try to remember to not do that, and then move on.

"just dont worry about it" sounds like the dumbest shit you can say to someone, but sometimes that's honestly the best thing you can do.

i can't be 100% on whats going on with you specifically, but i guarantee you that if, during matches, you stop worrying about how you 'always beef in matches,' and just play the game like you would in scrims, you will do 100% better. (and assuming you scrim capable teams that are comparable to the teams you play in matches, and you also do well in scrims, you definitely have the ability to play well in matches. it's all mental)
776
#776
0 Frags +

I'm now playing TF2 for 7 days a week how does 1 manage this

I'm now playing TF2 for 7 days a week how does 1 manage this
777
#777
-8 Frags +

Team had constant scheduling and roster issues all season and now its dead.
I just want to play medic for a stable team again.

Team had constant scheduling and roster issues all season and now its dead.
I just want to play medic for a stable team again.
778
#778
2 Frags +

couple things here

1: I feel like the stigma of me being a bad player will constantly stick with me and hold me back as a player because of my beginning on a 60hz laptop and awful mouse. The only tryouts I've been able to pickup on my teams that I've run as well as the only team I've been able to get a spot on are people who've never heard my name before and the number of people who I think I'm on the same skill level as who don't know my name are running thin. Every time I tell people that I've improved always say they've never seen me do above like 150 dpm and when I link logs of me doing 210, 230, and even 280 they give me reasons why it's not valid. i really want to improve at this game and I think I'm doing everything I can to improve at the game, I do DM/MGE/other types of aim training for hours a day, I have three mentors that I demo review with, and I still get told I'm not a good player because of pug logs. I don't know what else to at this point to prove that I'm at least a semi competent player and at this rate I'll probably wind up quitting because nobody takes me seriously.

2: I feel like I'll never be able to come out as transgender to most of my friends or my family and its eating me alive. I haven't felt comfortable in a boy's body for as long as I could remember and have recently discovered about transgender people and it brought me great relief knowing that I didn't have to spend the rest of my life living in a body that felt like I was wearing clothes that were too small for me. I've got a couple of friends inside and outside of this community who are very supportive of me but then there's not only the massive amount of transphobia in this community, but the fact that I feel like I wouldn't be able to come out and tell my friends and family who I really am because of the fact that might judge me. I live in constant fear that one day somebody at my school or in my home will figure out that my preferred name is Robin or that my preferred pronouns are she/her and it's such an awful feeling.

I'll probably rant more later on something else

couple things here

1: I feel like the stigma of me being a bad player will constantly stick with me and hold me back as a player because of my beginning on a 60hz laptop and awful mouse. The only tryouts I've been able to pickup on my teams that I've run as well as the only team I've been able to get a spot on are people who've never heard my name before and the number of people who I think I'm on the same skill level as who don't know my name are running thin. Every time I tell people that I've improved always say they've never seen me do above like 150 dpm and when I link logs of me doing 210, 230, and even 280 they give me reasons why it's not valid. i really want to improve at this game and I think I'm doing everything I can to improve at the game, I do DM/MGE/other types of aim training for hours a day, I have three mentors that I demo review with, and I still get told I'm not a good player because of pug logs. I don't know what else to at this point to prove that I'm at least a semi competent player and at this rate I'll probably wind up quitting because nobody takes me seriously.

2: I feel like I'll never be able to come out as transgender to most of my friends or my family and its eating me alive. I haven't felt comfortable in a boy's body for as long as I could remember and have recently discovered about transgender people and it brought me great relief knowing that I didn't have to spend the rest of my life living in a body that felt like I was wearing clothes that were too small for me. I've got a couple of friends inside and outside of this community who are very supportive of me but then there's not only the massive amount of transphobia in this community, but the fact that I feel like I wouldn't be able to come out and tell my friends and family who I really am because of the fact that might judge me. I live in constant fear that one day somebody at my school or in my home will figure out that my preferred name is Robin or that my preferred pronouns are she/her and it's such an awful feeling.

I'll probably rant more later on something else
779
#779
3 Frags +

The pump that prevents my house from flooding has been running all night and I barely slept because it's loud as fuck :/ I have 2 super important meetings that will last all day today that I will somehow have to survive. I've considered renting a hotel room if this keeps up so I can at least sleep tonight.

The pump that prevents my house from flooding has been running all night and I barely slept because it's loud as fuck :/ I have 2 super important meetings that will last all day today that I will somehow have to survive. I've considered renting a hotel room if this keeps up so I can at least sleep tonight.
780
#780
7 Frags +

FUCK GRANARY AND FREIGHT IN DM

FUCK GRANARY AND FREIGHT IN DM
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