My work hired this old Indian lady to be a "department sales manager" which basically means 2nd assistant manager and being in charge of all of shoes and industrial clothing. She had this annoying high pitched voice and would constantly drone on about nonsense either to people or if no one was listening to her (very likely), to herself. She'd ask constant questions with bad timing that usually had nothing to do with work, like asking my coworker questions while he was vacuuming, or asking me constant personal questions when I was trying to read on my break.
She'd also constantly lie about things and had some serious trouble understanding extremely basic things. One example being our back door alarm. It's an extremely simple system where you just stick your key in and turn it left to arm the alarm, and right to turn it off. I showed her how to do it and figured that was that.
But no, every time there was a delivery/pickup and she had to open the back door, she asked me how to turn the alarm off. After about 6 times of failing to explain this extremely simple task, I get frustrated and put a sticky note up next to the alarm with a drawing of how to turn it off and on. The next time the back door bell goes she comes up to the door and asks me again how to turn the alarm off, so I point at the drawing. She just stares at it blankly for a few seconds, then stares at me for a few more, then hands me her keys for me to turn the alarm off. A bunch of my coworkers (including the ast. manager) didn't believe me when I told them, so they all ended up trying to show her how the alarm works.
None of them succeeded.
Eventually she quit after turning our shoe and industrial departments into a complete disaster and never learning how our alarm system works despite the fact that I could probably teach a 5 year old how it works.
Hopefully no one from HR finds my post and fires me.