Hey man, you probably don't know me since I quit a while ago, but I still browse these forums once in a while and this thread caught my eye. I think that it's brave that you're putting your heart out like this. The internet is a really shitty place and this relative anonymity leads to a bunch of shitheads. Unfortunately, if you're putting yourself out there as a streamer/caster, you will become a target. It's because people are fucking assholes who want to make themselves feel better and put others down in any way, so they try to shit on those who are doing what they can't or won't do. Don't take it too much to heart, if you can.
When I used to stream, I got a lot of people calling me a fatass, Asian chink, etc. because of what I looked like. I rode the tide and started using it to be more entertaining for the twenty fucking regular viewers I had. I used it as motivation to become better and lose weight, and it gave me a thicker skin. Just remember that there is no actual lasting damage being done besides some silly words that aren't even well thought out. Literally all surface level stuff. Use it to become stronger. But don't let it show too much because it acts as a catalyst for more hate.
I also want to lecture all you nerds who think that you're being funny by pretending to be cool on the internet.
(spoiler alert: you aren't)
When I was a full part of this community, I loved how open and welcoming everyone was. This is the best competitive community I've ever been a part of, and I hoped that that would keep up as the scene grew and continues to grow. The TF2 community is full of some truly amazing people, and some of the best friends I'll ever have are those I've met while playing TF2. I remember all the shitposting and clowning around on the forums and in-game, but I don't ever remember a time that I felt personally attacked at a deep level (getting cut from teams/disbanding is naturally part of the game but I bl0w so ya know). Fucking chill and stop being dicks. Keep it Gucci, this community's roots are better than any other game's; show some respect and be better people.