As a phone-service-less NEET, I had to purchase a comp (sic) pass to be able to play. I did so and settled in to enjoy a Friday afternoon of gaming, in the interest of perhaps rekindling smoldering love for this game.
match 1: a player abandoned before it began. 15 mins altogether of waiting time.
match 2: abandoned. waiting time: 30 mins
match 3: 10 mins waiting time. it actually starts! I play medic with quick fix; team is rolled so badly not a single ubercharge is built all match, though that doesn't stop them from blaming the medigun.
match 4: abandoned, 10 mins waiting time.
match 5: 5 mins waiting time. south american server, 11/12 players have 150+ ping. game 1 is an easy roll. shortly afterwards 'hl2.exe has stopped working'. i restart tf2 and rejoin, but it has been abandoned and I get a cooldown as reward.
If this sounds like a worthwhile experience to you, a Team Fortress 2 Competitive Matchmaking pass is only $9.99.