You may have noticed that Demoted and I used to play on a Merry Band of Misfit's 24/7 Orange All Crits Low Gravity Server after reading the original post. Don’t worry, I can explain.
It all started back in ’08 when I met Demoted in Colorado for a biking trip. We were in the car, on our way to a bike trail outside of Mesa Verde National Park. I remember Demoted asking to play Kush Koma, but I refused because that song is shit. We got to a dirt road that led into a gravel parking lot, very large, seeing that we were the only ones there.
So we sorted our backpacks together, making sure we had enough water and food for the 10 hour adventure that we were about to take on. I reached for our bikes and took them off of the rack. We road past an old sign, that was more gray than the gravel on the ground. In a faded brown font, it read “Mesa Verde Trail”.
We rode for about 2 hours before the rumbling of cars and chaos of urban life was out of our presence. The trees surrounding us on both sides looked to be crumbling beneath the summer’s sun. The dust on the ground fidgeted underneath our tires. Riding on for a while longer, we spotted the ruins across the canyon. They looked somewhat out of place, sitting underneath a sheath of solid rock.
Demoted and I set down our bikes, and walked off of the trail to get a closer look. we walked past the maze of trees and got to the edge of the canyon. The canyon wasn’t steep, so we got up to the edge and sat down. The sun was high above us, yet behind our backs. We didn’t say a word, until Demoted got up, grabbed my hand, and ran down the canyon. It it were any steeper, I’m sure I would have had to roll my way down, but the constant force from Demoted kept me steady.
We reached to bottom of the canyon, and I bent over and put my hand on my knees to catch my breath. We were once again shaded by a new maze of trees. Before I stood back up straight, Demoted came up behind me and pinned me to the ground. I was shocked. He kissed my neck as he moved his hands down to my ass… I hate to recall what happened next, because every time I do, I cry. How could I betray Ex like that? I mean, Demoted is a lot bigger than Ex (his mouth especially LOL), but Ex and I had been together for 2 whole years (and counting! :3). I should have stopped Demoted.
We were down there for 4 hours. After cuddling against a tree, we got up and made our way back to the trail. We had not noticed how dark it had become due to our shelter of trees. It didn’t come to our senses that we had no idea where we were until we got to the top of the canyon. There was no trail in sight.
We wandered around for 4 more hours until we decided to give up and find a place to sleep. I was exhausted and I could tell the Demoted was too. We found a circle of trees and laid down, using our backpacks as pillows, and each other as warmth.
We woke up to find the sun beating down on our faces. We had gone through all of our water and energy bars, so we knew that we had to find our way out that day. We got up and picked our backpacks and heading out. After 10 minutes of walking, the worst happened. Demoted took a step into an unusually low hole in the ground and fell to the ground. He grabbed his left foot and whimpered. After trying to comfort him, it was clear he would not be able to walk, and there was no way that I could carry him around all day. I started to panic, because I didn’t want to leave him alone, but we needed to find a way out. We trudged back to where we had slept the previous night, and hoped that the next day would bring a healed ankle.
We woke. He was still injured. He kept his eyes close and gasped to me that he needed water. I yelled at him, reminding him that we had been out for a while. Then he said something that I would never forget. He told me to piss in his mouth. Even though I didn’t want to, I knew it was probably the best thing to do at this point. So I did. Then I asked him to. We stayed in the same spot all day. Once it got dark, we fell asleep.
We woke again. He was still in pain. He turned his head to my ear and whispered to me that he was hungry. I popped off, asking if he had forgotten that we had already ate all of the energy bars that we had packed. Then he did something that I’ll never be able to get out of my head. He pulled down his pants, took a shit, and picked it up. He closed his eyes and plugged his nose with one hand. I looked away, for I knew what he was about to do, and I promised myself I would never do what he did. When it got dark, we laid down, but I made sure that Demoted wasn’t facing me.
The next day I awoke to see Demoted doing that same thing again. I felt very dizzy and sick. Demoted told me that I needed to do it, and that he wouldn’t tell me to do it if he didn’t think it would help. So I did. My throat became so warm as it slid down my throat. I was ashamed. I waited until it got dark and went to sleep.
The next day neither of us could take a shit because of the lack of foot and water we had consumed the past 5 days. I scavenged around to try to find any berries, but all I found were piled of what looked like rabbit shit. I brought it back and we feasted. After eating, we heard footsteps. It was a park ranger. He took us back to the main park building and we told him (most of) our story. He let us go, but we had to stay in a hotel the next night since we had missed our plane rides to go back home.
We got things sorted out that night and got new plane tickets. A few weeks later I was practicing my Yoshi tech when I got a steam message. It was Demoted. He asked me if I had ever heard of jenkem. I hadn’t. He told me what it was and I was ecstatic. To be honest, I did enjoy eating shit, and I had kind of missed the experience. I found a local drug dealer and asked him if he knew where I could find it. He directed me towards a friend of his that sold it. After my first hit of jenkem I got addicted. I did jenkem for a whole year. Whenever I got high, I would open TF2 and go onto the Merry Band of Misfit's 24/7 Orange All Crits Low Gravity Server. All I remember was sniper dueling with Demoted. The rest is a blur.
So hopefully that explains to you why we were on that server. I appreciate all of your understanding y'all. By the way, I don't do jenkem anymore. I've recovered.