nikook one concrete answer for you here we go : poverty, extreme poverty if you will
To clarify for some - this is the end result of almost every ex-soviet country:
1. A population divided in 2 - The older generation dreaming for the days of socialism when they felt "secure", and the newer generation looking at the west;
2. An absolute crash of the economics, the extent of which is very prominent to this day.
3. Many other fucked up things, indeed
I hope the fact that your country is not the only one that suffers from the consequences of a regime that has ended more than 30 years ago makes you feel a little bit better. A way out is to save up enough money and shoot for the stars, go to uni in the west and find a job to be self-sustained. You will miss your family and your country regardless, and that's fine. It comes the point in life where you still want to be the innocent young yourself, but you have to take responsibilities too. It sucks, but you get used to it and it gets better. I've kind of gone through it
Not a lot of people here will understand you simply because this is a gaming forum. And frankly, almost everyone has it better than me and you. They don't know what it really means to starve for days and have nothing to do about it, and thankfully so. In a few years time when you are more financially secure, you will look back at those times as a challenge in life that you overcame. And that's how you improve and change your mindset, the way you think about everyone and everything, and hopefully you will look back at your younger self with maybe a drop of shame - that's how you know you are a better person today.