Implying that the reason we don't want to change the whitelist is because we're scared of change just shows that you've never tried playing with these unlocks in 6s before. We keep these weapons not because we're traditionalist elitists. Most of us just want to have fun and play a game that we can work towards being good at, and that's not possible to do with weapons like the whip, GRU, gunslinger, short circuit, etc.
The nerd essays are getting pretty annoying. I know I wrote one a few months ago, but all the things you are saying could have been put in a moderately sized paragraph.
edit: fixed parallelism