As the poster above said, finding a way to make it look more like an article and less like a draft, presentation wise, would be nice but that said I don't have any website in mind so meh.
Onto the main part, I'd like to preface by saying that humor is a highly subjective matter, and that everything I say is my own opinion.
Probably the biggest issue for me is that the article promises something in the title, but fails to deliver on it. It's like there is a missing first paragraph, as the title draws a link between STDs and PUGs, but the article doesn't really explain how this came to be and why, nor who is afflicted or was patient Zero.I'm not saying that you need lore to make a funny thing, but that if you wanna make a satire article, you want your article to look like a real one. This also applies to the formatting of an article, with author, location and date written somewhere near the top.
The second issue for me was smaller, but is important if you wanna make this a regular thing, is that you went for some low-hanging fruits and those can grow old quite fast. The sigafoo quote for example feels really forced by the fact that there is no real reason to interview him compared to the other 2.
I really liked the paragraph after the quotes, and think that this is sort of the level you wanna aim for the start. The botched photoshop was also funny, but opinions may vary.