4l3X
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SteamID64 76561198242227952
SteamID3 [U:1:281962224]
SteamID32 STEAM_0:0:140981112
Country United States
Signed Up August 21, 2016
Last Posted August 21, 2016 at 6:32 AM
Posts 4 (0 per day)
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#166 tftv safe space (no harassment plz) in Off Topic
vaniWhen I was unemployed I felt pretty bad because I wanted to do something but was too lazy to do it (its a great evil circle). Now I have a job and feel like I have no time over for hobbies or even to properly sleep. Life is good!

TFTV; CHILDHOOD STORIES EDITION

When I was young I would change schools a lot, 6 times though 7 years ? or so. It was my parents decisions and I was too young to understand, bare remember anything. We also ended up moving places three or so times so I didn't really have many long-term friends or hell I'd even say not at all. I got into gaming at a young age and my dad saw it as the "devils tool", heh. It was a pretty conflicting childhood, we had no internet at home until I was 14 so I didn't get much social interaction but I always felt a desire since my parents didn't really cut it and we moved around constantly. TF2 came out and we got a connection at home I ended up meeting people over the years and I thought it was the coolest thing ever that you could play and talk to people at the same time. Things escalate. I would never have imagined being here 6-7 years ago.
Its amazing that my dad still doesn't understand the concept of having online friends, playing any video game competitively or having different hobbies but I never had good communication with him either. I had to teach myself a lot of things and feel stressed about if I was doing them right or wrong. Our relationship is an extremely lost case, but I never cared much for it since as long as I remember I've disliked him. At least I didn't get beaten to death.
Surprisingly I didn't mind it too much. Its just how "family" was to me back then and I made the best out of hit. Its pretty fucked up when you think about it.

I look back on these things and I guess its a life experience and how I ended up finding something I enjoyed and friends and all that but I don't know man, I've had great times with this game and the community and my friends and I don't regret it and I'm happy how it turned out in the end. But its pretty hard to see my younger experiences as something valuable. The grass is always greener on the other side, and there is always someone who has it worse than you.

the very last sentence is very true

posted about 7 years ago
#165 tftv safe space (no harassment plz) in Off Topic
catfaceI use to get sick often when I was in middle school and high school, so badly to where I had to keep a bucket next to my bed because I couldn't make it to the bathroom. My mom always thought I was faking it for some reason and would yell at me every single day I was sick because she took her anger from fighting with my dad out on me. The constant verbal abuse coupled with kids at school making fun of me made me so depressed that I had to go to a psychiatrist, where I was diagnosed with severe depression even though my mom swore that it was fake and it "wasn't a real disease." The psychiatrist I saw weekly also was very rude to me, probably because my mom fed him lies about me. He would always tell me that it's my fault that I was depressed, and basically ignored everything I told him about the bullying at school and the constant fighting and arguing at home. Sometime after I stopped going to the psychiatrist my parents got a divorce finally, but after about a year of my dad being gone he started texting my mother threats, telling her he was going to kill her and burn our house down. 2 years of this goes by and we end up with multiple different sets of slashed tires, gunshot holes in our house, broken windows, 4 dead dogs and many, many arrests. After I got to the 12th grade I couldn't take my life anymore so I dropped out of high school and moved 10 hours away from home to my gf's parent's house and I can finally say for the first time in 6 years i'm starting to finally be happy. I've used tf2 for all of these years as a coping mechanism to help me get away from all the suffering that was my life and even now I still do it. It's hard to stop playing even though I get very little enjoyment from it anymore.

man, you are one hell of a hero in my book for getting through this like a pro. i wish the best of luck with life, money, love, and the pursuit of happiness.

posted about 7 years ago
#163 tftv safe space (no harassment plz) in Off Topic

i made a ugc plat team and my team ignored all the emails and didn't show up to the games

posted about 7 years ago
#161 tftv safe space (no harassment plz) in Off Topic

i came up with the idea to have my grandpas grave in comic sans

posted about 7 years ago