Do not let this wash over in 2 weeks. Stop letting these issues go ignored because we want to protect people, because we think we can't afford to lose anymore of our small community. In doing so and letting them say shitty things, we validate the people saying or enabling shitty behaviour. I did this too. I'm sorry I didn't speak up until now.

Stop saying "I've seen worse" or "grow a thicker skin". I never talked about this until months later because of people constantly saying this because I didn't want to be perceived as weak or seen as a liar. That's also why people who have been through similar shit don't talk about it either, leave quietly, or blow up like Tagg did when people let it bottle up all at once.

Stop encouraging people with, "ignore it, they will never change". Nobody feels comfortable in an environment where these people are getting away with what they're saying because "they're dumbasses, they won't change". Nobody wants to speak up in an environment like that. Start saying to each other, "talk about it, maybe something will change" instead. At least we know there are people who care.

Muuki. Are you for real about this?

I know exactly what Twitch chat you're talking about. I went into the chat to say people need to leave feedback on Cardinal instead of just going all over the place because Phi vented her concerns, and I was very frustrated about how people wanted to just go "bad map bye" because it was a b4nny map (or a Phi map, which does tend to have gameplay issues) rather than listen to those concerns and give her proper feedback, which is something I also have done publicly here.

You, Krafty, and Ratslayer immediately tell me I'm unwarranted for saying this shit as somebody who doesn't play the game as much, and called me a fucking child while Krafty typed goo goo gah gah baby garble noises every time I said anything in the chat. Finally, out of rage, I said, "I hated that these people were the people I contributed for". You and that group proceed to tell me I wasn't entitled to shit, you never asked for my help, and to keep crying. Immediately, three people on Steam message me telling me to stop getting baited by you, because your group wasn't worth my time, people can't stand you guys and your negativity, and/or you made them not want to go to LAN.

And now you're going to sit here, while Pred thinks it's okay on main to call my Filipino ass "ugly gook cunt", while Degu tells me I haven't done enough and I should have ignored him and Pred, while you try to tl;dr your way out of me actually posting why it's not okay to call transgender people trannies, while Uubers and scn1sla decide to enable that behaviour by posting "sad :(" tweets parodying people's reactions over me finally talking about it on the bin twitter's tweet parodying orgs who drop people and getting away with fooling people that they're legit that's a yikes...

And while people like Phi say the transphobia from TFTV and the community, not just people saying "shit map bye", makes her regret doing anything for the community as well (EDIT: she fucking cancelled cardinal and left thanks), while people message me thanking me for FINALLY talking about it, when people come out of the shadows to tell me all the fucking awful shit your group has said or done against people who so even dare to give a shit about something compared to you. You're going to sit here and try to point to that Twitch chat as a reason to:

1. slut-shame me
   
2. victim-blame me
   
3. imply I haven't already factored what legal ramifications are actually doable, like what Degu did
   
4. accuse people finally speaking up that they're white-knighting if they say you're being an asshole

After already said I was posting it to Twitter to make people aware that I didn't want to say still and still don't at this point, because of people trying to dismiss these issues as "not the place for Twitter" "not the worst problem", as well as people who NEED to hear that they are not alone and are not suffering in silence as well since I am NOT the only one who has been sexually or emotionally abused or harassed by members of a community I trusted or loved.

Do you think I really deserve what has happened to me, after telling you that you and your group of friends who walked around saying shitty things to people just for caring, just because I told you that you guys were being shitty and made people regret doing things for this game, when they came to me - whether players or viewers - to tell me that you DID make people regret doing things for this game?

I didn't have anybody else to tell.

I had nobody to report it to. There are no consequences in TF2 for this behaviour. The only thing I could do was to publicly call them out on Twitter.

Fuck, guys. The transgender female players get doxed, harassed, followed around, asked invasive questions, and called freaks. The cisgender female players get sent unsolicited dick pics, have their nudes leaked, asked invasive questions, and slutshamed. People who aren't white dudes get called all sorts of racial slurs and asked invasive questions. And then when people affected by that shit finally find the courage to personally speak up about it, you guys still want to defend the use of it all by telling me "well, fuck, my dude, you shouldn't get so hurt by words on the internet" - instead of actually checking back on your actions and realizing you might actually be assholes. It's like you guys don't realize the things people tell me have happened to them in TF2 or from you outside of your little bubble.

Stop. I'm tired of people telling me people like you are why they left competitive TF2 or want to leave it. I'm tired of you and your circlejerk thinking it's not worth it and think I didn't do shit. No, I don't want people to speculate who or what the fuck exactly went down in my relationships just yet other than what I disclosed. I didn't just keep quiet because I knew people wouldn't believe me, or people would use this against me. I kept quiet about the people who treated me like garbage, because I just wanted this scene - that my abusers also contributed to or played for - to be okay.

But yeah go ahead and tl;dr this one too since you're not going to read any of it.

EDIT: Twitch chat incident is Ascent.EU vs Velocity Gaming EU on June 13 in case people think I'm made of shit, log screencaps part 1 and part 2. yllen and scn1scla also drop the slur "faggot" to describe the map.

https://twitter.com/uberchain/status/1026205810823639040

https://clips.twitch.tv/SpinelessPlacidHyenaAliens

Don't call transgender people trannies because it's a derogatory slur.

Because it was used in an insulting manner. In the context of what happened in the clip, Arekk killed Nursey in-game and then had uttered "fucking tranny", and it came off as the word was used as an insult, whether by ignorance of not knowing the gravity behind the word or intentionally using it as an insult. He apologized since and Nursey has forgiven him, but the issue of not understanding why somebody who's trans wouldn't want to be called tranny is way too prominent of a mindset, especially in TFTV for whatever fucking reason in the year 2018.

The word constantly gets used as a slur from people using it to demean, degrade, fetishize, or dehumanize trans people, who are pretty much constantly dehumanized when people don't do simple shit like use their preferred pronouns or ask/remark about their genitals. It's the same shit as if somebody deliberately refers to a gay person with a homophobic slur. Likewise, to put it into perspective, if somebody scoffs and utters "fucking gay people" about someone who is gay, it doesn't come off as "well it's true, they're gay!", it just comes off as homophobic despite not using a slur.

The exception to the tranny as a transphobic slur argument is if a trans person explicitly states they're down with other people using the word for reappropriation or not giving a fuck purposes, which is NOT every other trans person's thought process and should not be used as a defense where it's like "this trans person said it's okay for me to say it!". It's like no, not every trans person is going to agree or support the idea of non-trans people referring to them as tranny for the sake of semantic satiation, just like not every Asian person is going to agree on ching chong accent humour being okay for Asian comedians to do because of reinforcing negative stereotypes against Asians.

If somebody says they're not okay with it, then they aren't okay with it. It's up to you if you want to respect that person's wishes or if you think you're in the right, just understand that the latter option has consequences where you will need to keep defending yourself as to why you're allowed to say it - similar to how the person who said they weren't okay with it also has to constantly defend themselves about why they don't think it's okay. If the argument becomes "well you shouldn't let words hold so much meaning then!" then that deflects the abusive nature associated with why the word is considered a derogatory slur, as well as intent whether accidental or intentional. I'm happy that Arekk apologized to Nursey for what he said and how he said it, I'm not happy how many people keep defending the idea that he shouldn't have had to apologize because they don't see what was wrong with what he said or how he said it.

https://i.pinimg.com/474x/ae/1b/46/ae1b46334ff5be0acd0de8eee004b837--art-pics-dragonair.jpg

If it's cubital tunnel syndrome or some form of ulnar neuropathy, you might need a different form of support for your arm like an elbow brace. The ulnar nerve runs along the arm differently and usually the pinky and ring hurt the most. When I wore a wrist brace when I thought I had carpal tunnel syndrome instead, it actually hurt me more because it was messing with that nerve. Doctor after doing some tests confirmed an ulnar injury and told me stop wearing the wrist brace, recommending wearing an elbow brace and I should wear it when I work.

It's a bit more flexible depending on your type of injury since there's many types of elbow braces. If possible and within budget, you should try to get some more tests or a diagnosis (if you haven't already) to make sure it's what you think it is so you don't take the wrong precautions. You might actually be fine with a wrist brace rather than getting an elbow brace for your condition, you might need a specific type of elbow brace, or if it's within budget, a few more tests such as an NCV or an ultrasound to see what the fuck is wrong with your shit for a more definitive answer.

This one is more the generic advice that anybody can say but do specific strength building exercises and stretches. If you're using armrests, stop using them and work on bettering your ergonomics such as your posture or how you type. This one is not directly related to arm and wrist shit but I started using a voice recognition software for the times I don't need my hands; it's slower, frustrating and counter-intuitive compared to if I bought Voice Attack and programmed some macros (which I might do), but it helps.

I've been trying to figure out how to respond to this thread, or if it's even a good idea. I don't want to bring down people if I'm burnt out myself. It's why I stepped away from TFTV as an active volunteer a while ago. I kept seeing it happen for people I basically grew with in this scene, where we'd just constantly talk about how the new era would never be the same as the good old days and it kept going. We need to be encouraging what things can be at their best, rather than go on and on about what things were when they were good.

Wolf, I've tried to tell people that they should volunteer for Essentials whenever they asked me about it, because it means helping competitive TF2 have a tomorrow. I'm always going to be grateful for how Essentials helped sponsor teams during and after i55. I'm grateful that you gave me a place to stay during i55, and were part of the reason I could do photography for TFTV and meet people I still am friends or co-workers with to this day. Even if I felt like TFTV once upon a time could have done better, I'm thankful that Essentials is providing opportunities for upcoming & current talent for competitive TF2. I trusted you, and I wanted your efforts to succeed.

I'm pissed about the the treatment I've been hearing from other people for YEARS for how you've gotten people to help you, and at this point I'm not afraid of pissing off people in power anymore.

Back when you wanted Essentials to be a hub for everything about TF2, why did it go through so much development hell and web designers? Why was an SFM animator I gave you for i55 when I was too busy to do the trailer due to paid work, with the trailer they made you for free, not credited and their trailer dropped after you said it was fine? Why is the SFM animator who made the newest (now outdated) trailer you last uploaded on Essentials' channel not credited either? Why were the guides I and other writers wrote you back when that was the plan for Essentials not credited either?

Why am I hearing that after Essentials started building their market for competitive TF2 and making sure i61 would be a great LAN, you have so many SFM artists on board making you artwork for future events and yet there still isn't promotional advertising for i63 out by now? Why are you ignoring talent reaching out to volunteer rather than telling them "we are not interested in hiring you/we have people already/we won't be able to afford flying you out, sorry"? Why did it get to a point where Getawhale and several other staff members who worked for you are publicly airing their dirty laundry, because they feel like you wouldn't listen?

Why am I hearing about you not paying players and teams their money from Essentials' monthlies?

Why, why am I hearing about you not paying staff like casters and observers that apparently you said you'd pay?

I want Insomnia 63 to succeed. I want it to be awesome. I want people to watch if froyotech's really going to roll over the competition or if SVIFT will cause an upset. I want people to go to share drinks with their teammates and friends and laugh about old and new experiences after a long day's work or playing games for 3 days straight. I want TF2 to have a show to watch and a tournament to play in that they'll all enjoy.

I don't want people feeling like they have to deal with bad management and mistreatment of their time, talent, and efforts, because they feel like it's what needs to happen, just so everything everyone else wants can happen. I want Insomnia 63 to encourage people who want to keep it going, instead of scare them away.

That way when I'm ready to volunteer again for the next LAN or the next iSeries, I'll see people I worked or want to work with that came from Essentials, that can tell me despite it all, it was worth it - instead of telling me that after it all, it's not worth it anymore. Make sure that the people who are helping you with i63 know their worth and feel their worth.

https://clips.twitch.tv/PhilanthropicFantasticBobaDAESuppy
https://clips.twitch.tv/FineDifficultIguanaDatSheffy

https://clips.twitch.tv/HonestIncredulousDragonflyPoooound

Orgs please continue this trend of getting patriotic casters from each of the countries playing for the Nations Cups casts so I can listen to them suffer thanks

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/292674309661523968/472542677511176192/unknown.png

These unbelievably stupid British clowns made it I'm so proud of our idiots

It's been fun to see how far our players got in the league overall. It's a little rough that players I thought would have done well aren't doing as well anymore, but I can only hope it's worth the struggle for them!

https://i.imgur.com/Hh1Iip0.png

Hope you guys like the new shirt, thanks to Smirre and Smziii for the opportunity! ɢᴀᴍᴇ ᴏɴ ɢᴀᴍᴇ sᴠɪғᴛ™

https://clips.twitch.tv/InterestingBloodyGarlicBibleThump

You're welcome, have a good night!