I sincerely hope he reads this thread.
When I first started playing TF2 many years ago, and knew nothing about the scene, I found it inspirational that someone could have so much passion for something relatively niche, in such a public way. That's not at all a dig at the game or anything like that. Honestly, for me, it's pretty amazing to see someone who is so entirely sure of their purpose and is willing to share that with everyone, while (probably) foregoing many other aspects of life in the process. Not a dig -- I can honestly admire that -- even if it's "only" TF2. Aside from having children, the vast majority of people will never know that kind of passion in their life, nor will they sacrifice things to share that passion with others.
b4nny is the probably the best player. More than any other player, he's probably right when he criticizes people and/or tells them what to do. Personally, I generally prefer to be on his team -- not only because I find winning to be more fun (and he seems to have a high win rate), but also because it's a chance to improve. He will generally provide feedback if you ask.
However, he really could use some improvement in understanding that not everybody has the same goals and motivations when they play. Most people like to win, and most people find winning more fun than losing -- but it is not the case for all people that "winning" is a necessary condition for all people to have fun. People can have fun when they lose. Winning is not, either, a sufficient condition for having fun -- most people (b4nny included) would agree that you can fail to have fun even if you win.
You can replace "winning" with "playing the game right", "being treated nicely", "improving", "being an asshole", etc. People play this game for a variety of reasons. In a competitive environment the stated goal of the game is to win, but the goals of the player are up to each individual involved.
b4nny seems to believe there is a social contract in pugs whereby all players agree that their main goal is to win -- logically, that's the purpose of the game, right? He seems to feel that any deviation from this, particularly if it is perceived to be intentional, is justification for him to lose his temper, berate, etc. I think he doesn't value other reasons for playing the game -- and I believe this is why he thinks he is justified in his treatment towards others. Regardless of how he defines this treatment: nice, mean, asshole, constructive... to him, it can all be justified from the lens of playing solely to win.
Crucially: While people generally have more fun winning -- and thus pick teams to win and play to win -- that is not the only thing that matters to them in a PUG environment.
b4nny to realize that the game is played in a social environment, and like any other social environment, the social contract is defined by others you are involved with at that time, and not strictly by yourself or by what is most logical. From the feedback gathered here, I sincerely hope he concludes that there are many situations where the social contract is not what he believes it to be, and that he can make an adjustment to how he interacts with others... while still being able to have fun himself.
Otherwise, honestly, it's on him to find other formats / activities / social groups where the players more or less share the same social contract (eg: matches, playoffs, etc). He should find his own happiness.
Lastly: There are some definitions, theories, etc, of what it means to be an asshole. I think it's beneficial for anyone to identify when they're an asshole, and try to change it -- even though being an asshole (or perceived as one) is not even necessarily bad (there are plenty of high functioning, successful, well-loved assholes) nor is it well defined (there's a whole sub-reddit debating scenarios). I'm well aware that I've been an asshole many, many times in my life, and in TF2 pugs TF2 Centers, etc, and I've found myself happier when catching myself rather than embracing it.
So for your consideration, here are some thoughts on assholes:
An asshole allows himself to enjoy special advantages in social relations out of an entrenched sense of entitlement that immunizes him against the complaints of other people. -- from Assholes: A Theory
Two tests to identify if someone is an asshole:
- After encountering the person, do people feel oppressed, humiliated or otherwise worse about themselves?
- Does the person target people who are less powerful than him/her?
There's also a list of typical behaviors:
- Violation of personal space
- Unsolicited touching
From The No Asshole Rule