Well, I had known him for a little longer than eight months, but we started dating in December, and it was in August that we planned on me moving.

The marriage was initially a proposal of convenience for getting me in, as we were friends at the time.

It isn't really wasting two years because of waiting for my permanent residence to be with him--rather, it isn't that he is stealing my time that way, but I would have liked to start life in Canada sooner of course.

The waste is that where I live now is pretty dead-end, few job opportunities and people usually hire their family members. And going to school would mean a lot of debt that I can't afford to take on. So, if I can't get a job, then I am forced to sit around doing almost nothing.

Thanks for your reply.

Thanks for the links, M4risa.

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We won't be applying for PR until we are married and have had some visits under our belts to support the marriage being legitimate (in addition to chat logs, call logs, photographs, gifts, etc.). By that point I should also have a job, if all goes well. Additionally, we are going with outland application so that if it gets rejected, we can appeal it.

Since the incident of being turned away at the border, we have researched a lot more, looked at immigration forums, etc. I think what we have is solid, but if you know something we don't, I would be grateful for your input.

I don't think it will solve all of my problems, but living in a place that isn't so rural and dead-end would definitely be a step up. I know which school I would like to attend, and it's cheaper than my options here. My fiance is going to be making enough money to support us both if we moved away from his family, so being a dead weight isn't as big of an issue while I try to find employment there.

We've spent time together in person, it isn't a purely online deal. I can hear how he speaks to his family, and I know how he acts around strangers and familiars. The month-long visit should give more insight if there is any to be had, as living with somebody obviously makes it easier to see what they're really like.

I am seeking medication for my depression, and possibly a mental health professional. I am working on getting a GED and a job. Those will come first regardless of whether or not we pursue the initial plan, on account of the time it will take.

Thank you for replying, it is something to think about.

Actually, we had considered a work visa. The thing is, I don't think anybody is going to put forth the effort to get the paperwork necessary for hiring a foreigner to do a minimum-wage job that an ezpz Canadian could do. I think that's why the foreign work forums for Canada are flooded with people into live-in caregiving.

I had applied to a place, and he seemed very interested until I explained the process for hiring a foreigner. He did not reply.

I think your reply is very insightful. Thank you.

I think that beyond his anger and what is going on right now, he is an intelligent, caring individual who is going to be somebody. I love his good traits more than I hate the bad, it's just that the bad...well.

I am going to get my GED and look for work, that much is certain. I don't want to do nothing, believe me. I would like to go to college soon, but I don't have any funds for it, and I don't want to get into a truckload of debt. So working for a while, if at all possible, before I take that path is a better bet. I want to make the most of the two years I have to wait.

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The marriage is necessary for me to enter Canada. We are going with family/spousal sponsorship.

There's very few opportunities here, but I am going to try to, yes. I'm hesitant to apply in the winter, though, because we get bad snow sometimes and can't get down the driveway. 15 miles out of town sucks that way.

Well, the initial plan already was costing him a lot of money, paying for the trip, my paperwork, stuff like that. So I don't think it is a novelty thing, or at least I don't think it was. Somebody I asked said that they think he is not interested any more and is just with me and a dick because he knows he can. I don't know what to make of that.

I am 18. I am unemployed. I do freelance artwork but that isn't very much. I honestly don't have any IRL friends, aha.

I thought that would be apparent from the title. Sorry. I am working on that, yes.

We are supposed to meet in December. I will fly up to stay with him for one month. After that, the next visit would be all the way in May.

I just fear that, with it being such a lengthy rough patch, it could be something else...his attitude is really off-putting to me, but it doesn't change how I feel about him.

Thank you for your reply.

Thank you, Lucrative, for your reply.

Dave is his friend who we both agree is an asshole.

I can't think of a less appropriate place to ask, but one help forum has little to offer besides a persistent "BREAKUPBREAKUPBREAKUP" with wild assumptions, and people I know are obviously biased.

So, if I could get some input from you guys...well, it would be nice, but I apologize if this is less appropriate than I realize to be posting here.

First, some back story: I met a guy online, we started dating. He is Canadian, I am American. I was in an abusive/crazy household and he said, "come live with me and my family." So we did some research, worked everything out. Meanwhile, I moved in with my grandparents. Which is...sort of better, if you consider an emotionally abusive stepmother and an apathetic father worse than a raging alcoholic and no job opportunities.

Anyway, after around eight months he came to pick me up, and all my stuff. We went to stay with a mutual friend and had a good time. Then we drove to the Canadian border. Well, we were stupid and overlooked that I need show money to say, "Hey, I can support myself" because I look so young, and they're wary of illegal immigration--and, plus, we said I was moving in with him and that we are to be married. We're retarded, right? Yeah. Well, anyway, he had to drive me all the way back to my grandparents and stay the night before heading back to Canada. We had [awkward] sex, a first for both of us.

In our respective countries, we do more research and find out all that we missed, how we're actually going to go about this. The gist is that I can't move in with him until about two years give or take from now. After we file for my permanent residence and get married, I won't be able to visit him in Canada any more until I am approved. He can visit me, but this is a pretty shitty middle-of-nowhere town.

Now, to get to the current issue: A bit after we figured out our new plans, he started becoming sort of...distant? We don't voicechat nearly as much as we used to (which was daily, and for hours at a time), we don't really talk that much through text either, and in both cases he isn't very contributing and/or doesn't sound very enthused. He spends 99% of his time playing Dota or something with his circlejerk, or doing school work. I am lucky to get a few hours with him a week.

It's worth note that I struggle with social interactions. Trouble picking up social cues, don't know when I'm doing something wrong, or think I have improved but jk. So I get into fights with his friends sometimes or annoy them. Not ALL the time.

I also struggle with depression.

I wonder if both of those may be taking a toll on him. And I fear the surprise of a two-year wait may be related...

We argue a lot as of late, and I don't mean to, it just sort of happens. I don't really understand why. I think maybe I could take things said to me better, but overall I just do not understand how things escalate the way they do.

An example from today: http://pastebin.com/M1SpUBAi

So, my question is, what is your take on this situation? Do you have any advice? I really would like to maintain our relationship and overcome these obstacles, but I am very confused as to what he is thinking. I asked a few weeks ago if he was losing interest or was bored, and his inattentive response was, "I don't think so, no."

If you bothered to read, thank you kindly.