My team died and I feel like it's all my fault and I feel terrible for letting everyone on that team down. I feel like shit because I have depression and other stuff, but no idea why or how I have depression. It's been 2 years since one of my friends from online killed himself. I can no longer attempt to work on a phd or get funding for it. I'm in between jobs and it's getting even more difficult to go day by day searching for a job with no communication back. I feel like shit because I play the easiest class and I'm mediocre at it. I don't know who I'm playing the game for anymore. The majority of my friends have either died, stopped playing, or just disappeared. I'm frustrated with the competitive community being really immature and it has me split from leaving the game or to just push past it and ignore what I can. I don't know if I want to play in IM for myself to prove something or if it's because my dead friend had talked about how he wanted to play in that div when I first started taking medic seriously. I don't eat well, my body feels like shit, the majority of my family is pretty disappointed in me, I don't know what to make of this community and where I sit or how I look within it. I can not push past the social block that is how I look and present myself to others online, it may not matter in the long run but I would like to not be too much of a meme so I can atleast play IM once. I have to deal with my father falling more into a deeper depression because of his fathers painful death recently and his Parkinsons worsening. I'm in a ton of debt still from a school I really didn't need to go to, to live with a grill that in the end really didn't give a shit about me or my mental health after 8+ years together. What is probably most embarrassing is complaining about my situation on an online forum acting like a whiny teenager on myspace. Dude, dealing with death and failure really sucks.

rip

https://i.imgur.com/VQSk4Bf.jpg?1

really good med, pick this dude up

bump again, our pocket soldier is taking a break from tf2 and my flank scout is not going to be here in march I really need a pocket soldier and a sub scout ready to play.

bump, our pocket and flank scout are not going to be here for our last couple games if we could get some subs I would appreciate it a ton

meca : hats on a pyro is like lipstick on a pig

https://clips.twitch.tv/PunchyGrossPuddingHumbleLife

LFT medic, NA normie pls pick me up

my pocket's premium ran out, if I could get something to help him out tonight that would help out a ton.

https://clips.twitch.tv/CuteTalentedLampEagleEye

Sunday playing with a new sub and he doesn't have the money at the moment for premium. If I could to get a code for him that would be greatly appreciated.
<3

https://clips.twitch.tv/MuddyFantasticAubergineHumbleLife

(TEAM) MrRoarkWake : we need an ingenier

thank you for everyone trying out! gl

https://i.imgur.com/AtdCQpW.jpg