That round of Elder is THE best Quake game that I've seen played in the finals.

GG

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Tesla#1529

Morning Pugs

"Hey Browny I might watch the rest of the opening ceremony"
"No you fucking retard"

Not really (that) stupid, but as soon as my friend and I talked about this for the first time in a good 5 years and laughed a fuck ton I had to retell it.

So...

In grade 2, I had two other friends who I would ALWAYS play with. We were all best of friends. We were inseparable. Then one day, this girl moves to our class and becomes friends, in a way, to all of us. Well, not really friends. She just didn't have anyone to talk to, so we would do stuff like work on projects all together in class. Everything was good and all, until myself and one of my friends realised how much of a bitch she was. I won't go into detail as it's a fairly long story, but the whole stupid story thing revolves around this one incident regarding her.

So anyway, one day at recess, myself and my friend, not the three of us, somehow got into an argument about water. Pretty much, she was claiming that water was 'bad' for you, to which we laughed and argued back. To this day I'm sure she was saying that TOO much water to the point of overhydration is bad for you, but we were in grade 2 which means that we had barely entered the operational stages; we just argued that water is good because it keeps you alive.

The argument got intense, and soon enough she got her mum to chastise my friend the next day in the morning about not treating people with kindness and respect. Nothing happened to me, for some reason.

A week later or so, my third buddy from our clique started to take a crushy-liking towards the girl. My other friend and I hated this, as it meant that he was hanging out with her instead of us. We hated her with a passion. So, at some random lunch, we went to our other friend who was talking with the girl on the bat tennis courts. She left him moments after we got there; I'm sure we told her to go away in the brattiest tone that any kid could. After she leaves furiously or some shit, my friend and I start to to talk with him. We tell him to stop hanging out with her and play with us more. He refuses and starts telling us that we're annoying, stupid and should just to go away.

He starts walking away, to which we start following. He starts to run, so we do too. We decided that we went a bit too far and that this might ruwin our relationship further, so we try to tell him while running that we were sorry for trying to control him. All he just tells us to go away, half crying, and turning his head away from us. Can't blame him.

He then starts to sprint away, and literally MILLISECONDS after he does so, the fucker runs mouth first int- no, TEETH FIRST, into a netball pole.

He falls to the ground and we stop chasing after him. He starts bawling and blood begins to pour out of his mouth. We rush to his 'aid' and tell him how sorry we were, while calling over teachers on yard duty to come and help. Shortly after, a crowd of some 50 kids formed around the poor kid.

After that incident, we shortly find out that he had to go the the hospital for a chipped tooth and split gum. Jesus Christ.

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http://m.imgur.com/j72Mx2G

http://m.imgur.com/mT5A1hU

bump

http://www.teamfortress.tv/20134/mat-phong-help

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lol

One time when I was roughly 8, myself, my brother and my brother's friend went to our local park. Shortly after we got there, instead of playing soccer, we all had this stupid idea that we should mess around with one of the public barbecues that they have there. I use the term 'mess' lightly. My brother lit it with some matches that they bought at a milk bar, and soon after we started dropping water from a drinking fountain onto it so that it would burn, which was we thought was awesome at the time.

But shortly after we started doing so, my brother's friend had the great idea that we should put piss on the barbecue. What a mistake that turned out to be. So anyway, he went into a nearby public toilet and took a bottle that was on the ground with him. And sure enough, soon after he came out laughing with a bottle with with 1/4th fucking piss.

He then immediately emptied the bottle of piss onto the barbecue, producing hot and steamy clouds of urinated gas. It was absolutely revolting. You could barely breathe. I'm glad that there was nobody close to us to truly realise what we were doing at the time, partly because it was downright retarded, and secondly because it smelled AWFUL. Like, I can't even begin to describe how foul of a smell burning piss is. But now I do.

As the piss started to form little flaky urine-omelettes before our very eyes, we all just limped and rolled around gagging, yelling and laughing. Eventually the smell was too bad for me so I ran some 40 metres away. I COULD STILL SMELL IT. Finnaly realising how much our little heads fucked up, I ran even further away, so that I could truly no longer smell our masterpiece. Then I just threw up on the grass as people were casually running by and doing their thing. My brother and his friend ran back to home shortly after. I did the same thing after throwing up a few more times.

Oh, and I should mention that people were using the barbecue the day after to cook sausages.

life's stream ends and so does my sideshow FeelsBadMan ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\.

omfg

About a week ago every offline map that I've played in has been sped up to what it seems like 2-3x the game's normal speed. I've tried reinstalling maps, verifying my game's cache and removing custom files + configs but I've had no success. In terms of commands, the only one that I could think of out of my vague collection of command knowledge is host_timescale, which did not turn out to be the problem.

Any help is appreciated!