What div?

So cool seeing players like TheFragile and Enigma come back for the Dota Fortress. Super amazing event with hugely impressive effort put in by the entire team. Always making it happen for dem kids

Used to be hittin that 440 DPM ingame now you're hittin that 440 lbs in the gym

So I feel as though I owe a bit of context here. Last night my UGC 6s team's match was delayed, so we sat in our mumble and wrote up this masterpiece. It began as a plan of what would happen if we cut one of our players, Makkabeus, but it sort of evolved into this grand scheme of what TF2 would become from this bizzare chain reaction of everything. Enjoy?

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Cut Makkabeus > Get players that will overthrow Caboose > Make team Invite players > Pay off ESEA Admins to get us into Invite > Win Invite > Buy Nukes > Nuke Riot > Make TF2 Only eSport > Nuke Mexico > Make every copy of TF2 into Super Smash Bros. Melee > Create 20XX / Melee Hell > Hold Sakurai hostage until he makes every copy of SSBM into the bare bones code of TF2 in which the only function is Pyro MGE on gran_counterjump > Turn Pyro MGE into only form of decision making > Wait for bfl' Satan to become ruler of the universe > Suspend Makkabeus in a limbo where he is an eternal spectator of the universe > Turn APP into government > Lansky Graduates from College and invents the Artificially Integrated Revitilization System & Humane Organic Transistor, aka AIRSHOT > Make BioDome of pl_badwater_basin > Create Hunger Games with pl_badwater > *IMPORTANT* Send Mad61 to the first Badwater Games *IMPORTANT* > My dog ate my eyeball (Teacup Yorkie) > Send Mad's body to the gulag > Give Riot a copy of this document > Recolonize Mexico with all of the Quake loyalists > Hire Dill as hitman to kill bfl' Satan > Suspend Knoxx in a limbo where he can only watch the group stage of i55 > Make Pharoah Pharoah of the world > Create voice filters for all of humanity that make all Women sound like Admirable and all Men sound like Getawhale > Nuke Mexico > Get Mannpower grappling hooks and re-create Pangea without Mexico > Rename New Mexico to Only Mexico > Rename Rhode Island to harbl_hotel > b4nny admits Platinum was better at demo > Retalations from b4nny's statement were feirce, in attempts to quell them, Pharoah holds Platinum captive and tortures him until Platinum admits that Tyrone was a better soldier > Nuke Only Mexico > Underground movements recreate TF2 in its entirety, the Government takes notice but not action > StabbyStabby embarks on a journey to discover land other than the central continent of the world, which has now been named Badlands. He does this in his bote with Muma. > TF2 Re-emerges as an eSport, CEVO is the only competitive league > Robin Walker dies as the last human to survive without use of AIRSHOT technology > Knoxx finds a way to break the limbo and vows to retake the world from Pharoah. Pharoah's response is "I don't really know how I got here." > Tangerine announces its reformation > Team Ascent beats Froyotech in Season 1 of the CEVO Championship and are offered a sponsorship from eLevate. They decline. > indust wins a bodybuilding competition, he proceeds to 20-0 Xalox in Arm Wrestling MGE > Stabby and Muma return from their journey. They report finding a small colony of Blizzard devs who salvaged the code of Overwatch, and are working on a full build > The island is named New Only Mexico > Mana makes it to CEVO Open playoffs > A search party is sent out to discover the sunken remains of Mexico > Pharoah suffers a heart attack. Demo MGE will be held to determine the new ruler > The search party returns from Mexico and reports finding a colony of surviving CS:GO players, Gecks is there so the APP Government hesitates to destroy them > Sideshow is send in to evacuate Gecks and succeeds, narrowly avoiding getting AWPed from long > The Demo MGE concludes, WARHURYEAH gets second place to Zebbosai, who discovered his true calling as a Demo main > New Only Mexico is destroyed by Soldier mains who are upsed at the lack of rocket jumping in Overwatch > The 52nd Badwater games are held, among the participants are ShaDowBurn, who is taken out by a triple airshot from Aegis, as well as Enigma, who is the winner of the event. > After the death of his homie, Aegis, Axiomatic proclames that "This world is almost as stupid as this game" and uninstalls himself from the world > Ma3la reposts the footage of Rocket Genius, which is far surpassed by the irl frag movies from the Badwater Games > A funeral for Axiomatic is held. Feroaffer is the only one who attends > Lansky and Mike hold an MGE set on LAN in secret. They never reveal the winner > Surveys from the most recent census show that Uberchain is in fact, everyone's waifu > Knoxx leads a rebellion of French TF2 players. Noone understands their threats through their accents, and the rebellion is quickly demoralized before being neutralized by Zebbosai's task force > Ster_ says Powah's name > Seanbud joins an invite team and carries them though CEVO as Heavy, hitting 800 DPM or higher in every match > Shade emerges from hiding, and shows off a new medic technique that allows building to happen twice as fast > Shade's new tech breaks the metagame, and Medic is banned from CEVO. Most teams opt to run a sniper instead > In attempts to balance medic as a class, the remaining TF2 dev team remove the technique from the code, but the metagame is so flooded with amazing snipers that medic has become completely obselete, and the project is abandoned with the game never being updated > Stabby announces he's quitting TF2. Again. > An underground operation applies technology to AIRSHOT that is able to remove the voice filters. Upon discovering this, Zebbosai pays the organization to integrate this into every AIRSHOT > In outrage of Zebbosai's recent action, Zebbosai is assassinated by an unknown rebel group > TF2 players realize that there's no need for a monarchy, then everyone remembers that Lange is still alive and Lange becomes the new ruler almost immediately > Team Fortress 2 recieves an update for the first time in 120 years. The fixes include some lighting bugs on ctf_doublecross and a client crash related to the entities on rd_asteroid > Nuke the sunken remains of Mexico > Matchmaking is added to TF2. The end.

I know first hand that EVL aren't the only casting network that may seem to act unprofessional at times (I wont even begin to go into details). But sigafoo is blowing this whole thing out of proportion. He feels as though he has an entitlement to something, and regardless of whether or not EVL told him what he's doing plans can and will change, and if he thinks that he should get a reward for volunteering his time then he's handling this completely wrong. I don't disagree that Sigafoo is a great caster, but considering circumstances revolving next season they want to put on the best cast possible, and with the resources they have to them that cast has Gecks and Grizz as play-by-play and grizz on color commentary respectively.

Like it or not EVL is the network covering HL now. They recently got a new writer for various things, they hired Dashner, and are generally handling this very professionally. The little casting network that would pick up casters off the streets has moved on to bigger and better things. As with anything similar to this, there will be negative feedback from supporters of Sigafoo, and that can be in part to the bias from them wanting to support him. I've worked with him and talked to him, he's an awesome dude who has done his part for this game, and EVL will certainly take a hit from losing such a name. Don't discredit them as I said, they're what we have and at this point in TF2 having anything is practically a blessing.

good med, played with him before in HL. Very adaptable, very cooperative, very smart

The way I see the badwater match from 2 weeks ago; Ginyu were basically playing without a scout and KnD had to give up multiple holds in the first portion of the game due to Enderp's game hitting the shitter.

<3